Broken

"Kneel for me, my pet." you said softly, gazing into my eyes as I obeyed you without question. Soon, I looked away; gazing into your face, my Master, is like staring into the sun.

"My beautiful, shy little Kitten " you said with a chuckle, reaching out to caress my face. "What are you thinking?" Gathering my courage, I looked back at you unwaveringly.

"Tell me, please, Sir, how to make you happy. I only want to serve you."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, my Master."

"What if I desire to break you, my darling?" you whispered, taking me by the throat, squeezing gently. "What then?" Releasing your hold, you resumed your gentle ministrations upon my upturned face. "What then, my pet?"

"Then let me be broken." I said simply. "Shatter me, my Master, my love."

"So obedient..." you murmured, attaching the familiar black leather leash to the bondage collar that lay loosely at the base of my neck. "So trusting..." Rising, I followed you quickly and silently down the hall and into our bedroom.

Once there, you locked the door and unclipped my leash, directing your wheelchair as close to the bed as possible. I saw a flash of humiliation in your eyes; being so mentally dominant, you hated to depend on me for anything. Before you could lower yourself to asking for my help, I embraced you closely and helped you onto our bed. Adjusting the pillows behind your back, I reached down, gently caressing your face. "I love you." I said softly. "So much..."

"We will see, my darling." you said with a lupine smile. "We will see."

Reaching into the night-stand drawer closest to you, you pulled out a ritual athame, one that I had never seen. I saw the light from the polished blade reflected in your dark eyes, and felt my mouth go dry. I had to consciously remind myself that you had never hurt me before, but still I felt my knees grow weak.

"Come here." you commanded, reaching out for me. Wordlessly, I climbed onto the bed and straddled your lap, already longing to feel your touch. Instead, I felt the cold bite of steel against my skin as you deftly sliced my shirt from my body.

As per your usual request, I had refrained from wearing lingerie. Shocked and struck with a fit of modesty, I attempted to cover myself. "No." you said, pointing the blade tip against my crossed wrists. "I want to see you."

Chastened, I dropped my hands to my sides and mumbled an apology. I felt exposed as I never had before, owing mostly to the early afternoon light shining through the windows, and I desperately wanted you to hold me.

"Lean back." you said throatily, unlacing and discarding my short leather skirt. Still straddling you, I leaned back onto my hands. Slowly, your hands climbed my inner thighs, and suspended as I was over you, it didn't take long for me to start trembling. "Oh, God, Kitten..." you moaned, closing your eyes. "You're so wet..."

Smiling to myself, I marveled at the time we'd been together. Every time we made love, you seemed surprised at how much I desired you. Lost in reverie as I was, your fingers against my thrumming clit were a shock, though not unwelcome. Gently, you slid a long, well-manicured finger into me, stroking my g-spot as you thumbed my almost too-sensitive nub. Gasping, I arched my back and cried out. "Master... oh, Master... please...."

"Please what, my pet? Have you had enough already? Have you so quickly forgotten your desire to do my will?"

"Noooooo..." I moaned, trying desperately to keep hold of coherent thought. "I need you... inside of me... Sir, please."

"Not yet, Kitten" you admonished, allowing me to sit up momentarily, placing a honeyed finger to my lips. Greedily, I took the proffered digit into my mouth as lovingly as though I were going down on you. "Aahh, yes, my little diva...." you said, smiling. "There will be time enough for that later. But now... now I want to see just how far you'll go to please me. Look at me, Kate."

Seeing beyond the desire-haze to look into your eyes was more difficult than I could have imagined, and for the first time I could remember, I could not obey you quickly enough.

Angrily, you grabbed me by the throat again, as you had when I knelt before you in the livingroom. I felt as though I had been doused in ice water as you gripped me tighter and tighter. "You will not come until I say you can, do you hear me, pet? You have forgotten, I think, that you are nothing to me but a pleasurable diversion. I have been far too lenient with you, my pretty little cum slut. One might think I actually care for you... and there is nothing farther from the truth. Nothing."

Blindly, I nodded, tears blurring my vision. It broke my heart that I had somehow let you down. Whatever I was to you, it didn't matter. I would do anything to win your favor again. Without you, I was nothing. Mistakenly, because you had paid such close attention to my care and pleasure, I had allowed myself to believe that we were equals; that you were as beholden to me as I was to you. "Yes, Master." I whispered, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

"Undress me, slut " you commanded, an edge to your voice I had never heard before. Quickly, but carefully, I stripped you, longing to run my hands over your beautiful, naked skin–but you had not given me permission to do so.

Grabbing a handful of my hair, you pulled my head back, exposing my pale neck. "Come closer." you commanded, grabbing me roughly by the shoulders and pulling me close against you. "I want to taste you." Before I knew what was happening, your teeth were on my throat, biting harder and harder. With a small, pained cry, I felt my skin give way under your insistent canines. Hungrily, you drank until I became dizzy with lust and blood loss.

Abandoning your feeding, you kissed me passionately, at the same time forcing your hand between my trembling thighs, methodically driving me to madness. Remembering your warning, and loath to disappoint you again, I swallowed my cries and kissed you back breathlessly. Tearing your mouth away from mine, you took a ragged breath. "On your back, my pretty harlot. And don't you dare get off my lap."

Blindly, I obeyed, trying and failing to rise off of my knees as your skilled fingers kept kneading and caressing my painfully swollen clit. Though it hurt, I lay back, still kneeling. "Good girl..." you murmured before plunging three of your fingers into my aching, dripping cunt.

"Oh, Master! " I screamed, unsure of whether I was more overcome by pleasure or pain. Laughing cruelly, you removed your hand, leaving me with a feeling of aching emptiness.

"Do you know what it is to be fucked, Kate?" Without waiting for an answer, you grabbed the athame by its now-sheathed blade and rammed the large, steely handle deep within me. Bucking my hips wildly, I bit back another scream.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I felt tears drip down my face. Even if it killed me, I would not beg you for mercy. Slowly, so slowly, you withdrew the athame, only to plunge it into me again, this time to the hilt. Over and over you did this, until pain gave way to white-hot pleasure so intense that it bordered on agony. My back arched up off the bed when you finally removed the athame for the last time, flinging it across the room.

"I want to feel your mouth on me, pet." you commanded. "Now." Trembling violently, I threw myself forward, knowing that I could not allow myself even the smallest moment of comfort in your arms. Finally forcing my tortured knees out from under me, I lay, very nearly exhausted, upon my stomach. There was no time for rest, I knew, and so, hungrily, desperately, I took you into my mouth, at first laving the swollen, sensitive head. I heard you growl as you placed an insistent hand on the back of my neck.

Closing my eyes, I took more and more of you, feeling your hands in my hair, by turns pulling and stroking. You were getting tense, and I knew you were nearly at the breaking point. "Enough!" you cried. "Come here " My confusion must have shown on my face. "I want–need–to come inside of you. Please, Kitten, just do as I say. Please."

Exhausted, I struggled once again to my knees. Whimpering, I lowered myself onto you. Though I felt bruised, there was more torture in not being allowed to come for you. It was all I could do to keep from breaking down and crying like a child. But this wasn't about me. It never had been. What was I to you after all but, in your own words, a diversion? A cum slut? A whore, bought and paid for, for the rest of my life?

I felt your hands against the small of my back, your fingernails digging into my flesh. You stilled yourself within me and looked deeply into my eyes. "Please, my darling... tell me I haven't broken you beyond repair... tell me you love me... tell me I haven't lost you. Please. I'm begging you."

I said nothing, wrapping my arms around you, drawing you closer and moving with you, my face a mask of concentration. "Katie..." you moaned, closing your eyes. "Come with me... I need you to..." At those words, my resolve broke, and as you surged upward, crying out my name in release, I screamed, a banshee possessed. "Ooooohhhhh, God... Yes, Master, yes!...

As one pent-up orgasm after another ripped through me, I felt as though I might lose my mind. In the midst of the maelstrom, I heard your near-incoherent cries, a passionate mantra. "I love you... I love you... I love you..."

With a final, strangled shout, I collapsed against you, knowing for the first time that you had indeed broken me. I was lost forever to other men. If the thought of leaving you had ever crossed my mind, it was, for good or ill, completely eradicated.

Trembling, I reached up and caressed your face that was soaked in tears. "Sir...Master... why are you crying? Did I not please you?"

"My darling... there is something I desire from you much more than your obedience... but it is not something I can command of you... and so I am terrified. When I said that I did not care for you... I said so because my feelings for you are so far beyond 'care.' Kate, I love you, desperately so." Shakily, you reached back into the night-stand drawer, emerging with a small velvet box. "If I could get down on my knees and beg you, I would. Stay with me, not because I command you, but because I love you... and I hope, even after what I've put you through today, that you love me. Please, Kate, I–"

"Sshhh," I whispered, kissing you softly. "I would love to marry you. Do you hear me? I love you, Sir."

Taking the elegant diamond ring from its cushion, you placed it carefully on my left hand. Gazing lovingly into my eyes, you reached up and silently unclasped my bondage collar, pulling me close. "From now on, my love... please call me Chris."