Brothers Pt. 04

A/N: Thanks for all the comments on my previous submissions. Enjoy!

*****

The next day we were back to normal. Whatever normal means. We were laughing and joking around with each other. My brother seemed like whatever had gotten him down yesterday wasn't an issue today. And it made me happy to see him smiling again.

I still feel guilty about what I did last night, but I figure what Jesse doesn't know won't hurt him. Besides, I won't ever do it again. That little phase of my life was over, it had to be.

Jess and I headed out to our game, and we talked about stupid meaningless things for most of the ride. But when we were about five minutes away from the field he got kind of quiet.

"Michael...I was thinking, maybe, if you, well, I mean, if we win, like you could stay. It wouldn't be a big deal, you know? Like it's not like we'd even be looking at each other, really. If you want." He finally muttered, twirling his thumbs together and looking out the passenger window, away from me.

I was shocked. I paused for a second.

"Where is this coming from?" I asked quietly. God, had he been awake last night? I felt sick to my stomach.

"Well, I just figured you know, this was your team, and I just sort of came in, and now you can't...you know. It doesn't seem really fair. That's all." He said, blushing. He still wouldn't make eye contact with me. I let out a sigh of relief.

But why was he offering this to me? I hadn't told him I was gay. I mean, no one else on the team was gay. It was just something we did once in a while. And I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I like women. I just did this sometimes. That's all. I think. He couldn't think I was gay. My brother knew me better than anyone, and if he thought I was gay, then I must be.

God, I couldn't be a fag. If Dad found out... And besides, how could I be Jesse's protecting big brother if I was gay? How could he look up to me if I was gay? I was supposed to be the normal one. He looked up to me because I was the normal one. I was perfect, athletic, a ladies man, I got good grades. Oh God. Both of us couldn't be gay... God, if Dad found out we were both gay and living together... I shuddered. I had to be normal, for Dad, for Jesse and for me.

"You know I'm not queer, right?" I blurted out. Now it was my turn to stare out the window and avoid eye contact.

"What? Yes, I know. I mean, it's just something you do to blow off steam or whatever. Right? Of course you aren't gay...you're...better than that." He murmured.

Our parents had ingrained in us a few basic things before they (ironically) divorced. They taught us that love was between a man and a woman, anything else was wrong. They also taught us about the gender binary, men had to be men, and women had to be women. That was that.

When my brother came out to me, he was so afraid that our parents would find out. And he was afraid that I would hate him. I didn't, of course. I don't care if other people are gay, I just can't be gay. Having sex with a man is one thing, being able to be in love with a man, well, that's completely different. Or at least, that's what I tried to convince myself.

Jesse hates being gay. I know he can't help it. He can't help hating himself, it's what our parents taught us. Jess doesn't hate other gay people, but he hates himself. If I were gay, I would hate myself too. That's why I can't be gay.

"Yeah, exactly Jess. I just do it to blow off steam." I said, quietly.

"Sorry to bring it up. I mean, you probably don't even stay normally, even if I wasn't there. I didn't mean to assume anything." Jesse said quietly. God, I didn't want him to feel bad. Of course I stayed. I stayed every chance I got.

"No, Jesse. I stay all the time. Finding a girlfriend out here is hard and time consuming, you know what I mean? It's fun too. I mean, I'm not gay, but that doesn't mean that male intimacy grosses me out. A fuck is a fuck." I responded, trying to sound calm and detached.

"You think they're different? Having sex with a guy and loving a guy?" He asked, biting his nail.

"Of course they're different. Being in love is being in love, fucking doesn't always need to have some emotional attachment. And you know I'm straight, but I screw guys all the time. You're really okay with me sticking around tonight? I'm kind of pent up." I responded. He smiled at me. I knew my logic was flawed, but I couldn't help it. I needed some way to rationalize everything. This was the best I could come up with anyway.

"Yeah, it's alright." He said. I parked the truck and climbed out. We were grabbing out equipment from the trunk, when Jesse turned to me and asked: "Do you think being gay is a choice?"

I paused. Science had proved that being gay isn't a choice. You can't choose who you fall in love with. You can choose who you fuck though, but fucking a guy doesn't make you gay. I didn't know how to answer.

"You can't choose who you love, Jess." I said simply. He nodded and we headed to the locker room to get ready for the game.

***

Between one of the innings, a cute girl in a crop top had handed me a piece of paper with her number on it. Her name was Jennifer, and it was all written in her overly feminine handwriting. It was perfect. I'd call her tomorrow, hopefully get some dinner, and spend the night at her house.

With all this confusion around my brother I was really starting to doubt my heterosexuality. I mean, I liked fucking guys. A lot. But, if I took a girl home maybe I'd be able to prove to myself that I really was straight. Besides, I'd told my team a few days ago that I had a girlfriend, so I kind of had to deliver on that front.

But, I couldn't really think about girls right now. My team had won the game, and with the blessing of my brother, I was getting some action tonight.

Like yesterday, by the time I got to the locker room, the boys were already naked. This time, when Ricky came up to me, I didn't hesitate or pull away.

His tongue darted into my mouth, and I began undressing myself. I pulled my jersey off roughly, and threw it to the floor. I needed this. Ricky was the perfect cock whore, he could take it rough, and that's how he'd get it tonight.

When I was finally undressed, I pulled away from Ricky, only slightly.

"Get on the floor, slut." I ordered, taking his hair in my hands, and pushing him down. He complied willingly. Within seconds my erect dick was in his mouth, and I was thrusting into him. I looked around the room.

Tyler, Simon and Ryan are in their own world. Ryan's on all fours, getting face-fucked by Simon, while Tyler ass fucks him relentlessly. Mark and Kyle are sitting together on a bench watching the threesome, jerking each other off.

Andrew was only maybe two meters away from me, with my brother. And I couldn't look anywhere else. Andrew was face-fucking my little brother roughly, his hands tangled in my brother's blond hair. I watched with lust as he forced his cock down my brother's throat. My brother's eyes were closed, but I could tell he was struggling a bit, he gagged on Andrew's dick.

I grabbed Ricky's hair with both of my hands and started face-fucking him with the same intensity. It wasn't long before my entire length was in his mouth and he was gagging on my thick member. I began thrusting into him, and I was losing my breath. I knew I was close to climax, but I wouldn't let myself cum yet

.

"Fuck yes! Yes! Take it, take my cock, you fucking faggot!" I shouted, throwing my head back. My eyes soon returned to my brother, he was taking Andrew's cock more slowly now, teasing him. My own movements slowed. My brother's eyes opened and he was staring right at me as he sucked Andrew's cock. I felt myself shudder with pleasure.

"Ricky," I said, staring at my little brother, "get on your back." He obeyed.

I sunk to the floor, still staring at my brother. Jess and I didn't break eye contact. He began simply jerking Andrew's dick while he watched me.

I pulled Ricky's legs over my shoulders and positioned myself at his unprepared entrance. I spat onto his hole, before roughly plunging into him. He groaned in pain and the violation, but then seemed to settle as I slowly pulled myself out of him. My brother and I were still staring into each other's eyes.

"Andrew," My brother finally said, looking away from me, "fuck me. Fuck me like the whore I am." My brother sunk onto his back like Ricky, and I watched Andrew eagerly join him. I turned my attention back onto my partner.

I sped up the pace. Ricky's eyes were closed and his head was back. He was doing everything he could to fuck himself, meeting me part way as I slammed into him. He swore with nearly every thrust, and he began jerking his cock. I turned back to my little brother.

Andrew was fucking him in the same position I was fucking Ricky. I met my brother's eyes again. He looked desperate, and he began jerking himself off. Andrew began fucking him harder, getting closer to his own orgasm.

"I'm gonna cum! Fuck, Mike, I'm so fucking close!" Ricky shouted. I looked over at him just as long, thick ropes of cum streamed from his erect cock. His chest was covered with cum, and it only fueled me more. I looked over at my brother, who was staring at Ricky and I. I think watching Ricky cum turned him on more, because his breathing hitched and he worked his hand faster.

He arched his back, and never breaking eye contact with me, cried out. Jesse came with a loud moan, shooting his load all over his abdomen. It was enough to force my own orgasm out of me.

I came inside Ricky, screaming with pleasure, while my brother stared at me. I jerked my hips a few more times, thrusting into Ricky's tight hole, before pulling out. Andrew pulled out of my brother and shot his load onto my brother's chest, and I couldn't take my eyes off the pair.

Andrew stood up and walked away without saying anything, but my brother didn't move. I pulled away from Ricky and collapsed on the floor between the two boys. I could feel both Jesse's and Ricky's body heat and I had no urge to move. I was exhausted.

I had cum at the sight of my brother cumming. I had cum while looking into my brother's eyes. I should've cared, but I didn't. I was too tired. After a few seconds Ricky stood, he said something to me, but I didn't catch it, and he headed off to the shower.

I laid next to my brother.

"Thanks." I murmured quietly, so only he could hear. My hand slowly moved to his, and our fingers intertwined.

"For what?" He asked. We were both looking up at the ceiling.

"For letting my join you."