Buddies??

It wasn't until Thursday night that we got around to discussing our open marriage agreement. I was surprised and very disappointed when Cindy held firm that we should keep the agreement intact. I gave in after we added a clarification and a new clause. Clarification: Before exercising the freedom provided in the agreement, we would tell the other, in advance, even if advance meant only a few minutes. Added: When informed, the partner could exercise a veto. There would be no discussion and the veto would negate any other provisions of the agreement.

As we were just about to get back to normal, I pulled another boner and delayed the repair of our happy home for another couple of weeks. Cindy wasn't willing to just let things rest. She kept coming up with things to challenge my concept of Larry or to justify her thoughts about him. It wasn't a regular or steady thing, but it surfaced several times during the first two weeks at home. I had enough of Larry and was getting tired of him coming up in discussions.

One night, after the children were in bed, she brought him up again. It had been a tough day and I was tired. When Larry was introduced again, I responded that he was nothing but a low-life gigolo who would go to bed with anything. Cindy immediately tried to defend him and I told her. "Cindy please forget that asshole. We don't need him in our conversations anymore."

"Ron, I don't know why you have to be so pig-headed. He deserves more respect than you want to give him."

Then I put my foot in my mouth. "Cindy, the only reason that you want to defend him is that you can't believe that a man that is hung like a horse and pleases a woman like he does doesn't also have a string of wonderful characteristics. He is a walking, woman pleasing horse cock and nothing else."

She screamed at me, "Ron, I never knew you could be so cruel and nasty with your talk."

Not knowing when to quit, "Well tell me, didn't you find being fucked by a horse cock quite thrilling?"

She stormed out of the room and we didn't speak for several days. However, the last exchange seemed to have done the job. I didn't hear about Larry anymore.

Things straightened out and all was well for about three months. Then things began to happen. Of course some of the things didn't appear to be of any consequence at the time.

* * * * * The Dots (unconnected) * * * * *

It was about three months after the reunion when friends of ours, from when we lived in Washington, were passing through town. They called shortly after I got to work and asked if Cindy and I could meet them for dinner tonight. I wondered why they had called me at work rather than calling Cindy at home. I finished what I was doing and then called Cindy to let her know. Cindy did not answer. I waited and called about an hour later, still no answer. It struck me as strange because we always let each other know of our whereabouts. If she had run to the grocery store, she surely would have been home by now.

I went home for lunch, as I often do. She was home and when I asked her where she was this morning, she apologized and said that she had to make a run to the department store for something (I don't remember now what it was). However, I had detected a little flush in her color when she answered and I knew something was out of place. Our friends had left a message on out answering machine and she either didn't take the time, or didn't have the time to listen to it. I had a strange feeling that she had not gotten home much before I did.

There was nothing of note for another five or six weeks. I returned from work one night and when I started into the house from the garage, I picked up a receipt from the floor. From its location it had to be something Cindy dropped. I glanced at it quickly and started for the door again. It didn't strike me right away, but suddenly I took another look. It was a parking receipt from the Sheraton hotel. I studied it a moment longer and determined that it had been issued at 11:15 this morning. The amount of the fee was for two plus hours.

She had not indicated she was going anywhere today and I remembered that she had asked if she was going to see me for lunch. I had told her that I would be with a customer for lunch. Now my mind was kicking into overdrive. The Sheraton is no more that twenty minutes away so she would have been home for lunch if I had a change in plans. Something was strange.

When I went in, she was finishing supper preparations and gave me a cheery smile and big kiss. I didn't say anything about the receipt while we were eating. However, as a matter of conversation I had asked the kids about their day and received the usual long description of their activity. Then I asked Cindy how her day had been. She indicated that it had been fine. When I asked her what she had done, she looked down and I detected a reticence to say much. She described several activities, run of the mill, but never once mentioned having left the house.

Shortly after the kids were in bed, she announced that she was really tired and was going to bed. I was tempted to go with her, but I didn't. She was holding something back. I was beginning to have suspicions about what it may be, but I was afraid I might say something I shouldn't or something that was completely erroneous and decided to watch TV for a while. I was very troubled, but a parking receipt wasn't much of a story.

The issue faded in the next week or two and I put it behind me. That is until I was doing the bills one night. I have always managed our finances. I keep Cindy informed and have her work with me at times. I don't want her ignorant of our finances in case something were ever to happen to me. I generally scan the bills but don't review them in detail unless there is amount that seems to be different than normal.

Her cell phone statement usually has a string of local calls, and on an occasion one or two 800 number long distance calls. On rare occasions there will be an incoming long distance call. This time as I scanned, my vision came to rest on three incoming and two outgoing calls to the 414 area code. All were late afternoon calls, all were to and from the same number, all were made over a period of about a week just before the statement was closed out (a week ago). Strange.

I grabbed the phone book and looked up area code 414. When I found it, my blood ran cold. Milwaukee, Larry's city. What in the hell is going on? Cindy was out of earshot and I picked up the phone and dialed the number. Before it could ring, I hung up. If it was Larry's phone, and if he had caller ID, he would know where the call was coming from. I went to the bedroom and got my cell phone. I have blocked caller ID on it. I dialed the number again. The male voice that answered was Larry's. I disguised my voice and represented myself as calling from the Police Benevolent Association. I asked question just long enough to be absolutely positive it was Larry.

I had to repress the urge to charge into the living room and confront Cindy. But, I didn't and after sitting for several minutes feeling sick to my stomach, I was able to pull myself together and begin to rationally think what I needed to do. The first thing I did was to pull out the statements for the months since the reunion. An outgoing and then an incoming call to Larry's occurred about a month after the reunion, I'm sure I hadn't picked them up because there were only two calls and they were separated by five other calls. On the next statement there was only one call. But the next statement had three calls. The first was obviously connected to the single call on the last statement and then two calls near the end of the statement period.

All very interesting, but what did they mean and what was I going to do with them? When I reached a probable answer to the first question I became sick to my stomach. Her unexplained absences, the calls, her defense of him—were they having an affair? But when, where, how was it being done? Larry had no business in town that I knew of—else I would have known he was around. As I thought about it, I had an inspiration. Alan, one of my golf buddies, was an assistant manager at the Sheraton. Maybe he could help me.

The next day I called him and went to the hotel to meet him during my lunch hour. I explained what I was suspecting and then asked if he could tell me if Larry had been a guest during the past six months and if so, when. He said he could find that out. It would take about a day before he would have time to access the records.

It was near the end of the next day, Friday, and he delivered the information I requested. I had been praying that Larry would not be found as a guest. My prayers were not answered. Larry had been here three times for one night during the last few months. He gave me the dates and then concluded, "Ron I also need to tell you that he has a reservation here for next Tuesday night." I went cold as all sorts of things started to run through my mind. And then I asked, "Alan, would it be possible to see that he is put into a room where I could set up a camera?"

"He hesitated a minute and then, "Hey buddy, that would be illegal. I can't do that. (a pause) However, I have no idea how you came up with this idea, but if you were to reserve a particular room the day before and the day after he was here, and somehow he got assigned to that room, and somehow you forgot to take the cameras that you had with you..."

I picked up on his lead immediately. "Thanks Alan. How would you like for me to make the reservations so that there will be no problems?" He told me just to call the hotel and make the reservation, he would take care of the room assignments.

Later, when I checked the dates against the calls and Larry being here I found the first calls occurred about a month after the reunion and about ten days before Larry's arrival.—I had not detected anything at that time. The second set were about a week before our friends visit and Larry's appearance had been on that same day. The third of course were just a week ago and Larry was due in a few days.

At home, after my discoveries, I found it impossible to act normal. I wasn't normal—my stomach hurt like I had never known before. I couldn't and didn't eat much and, of course, Cindy picked up on it. She waited until the children were gone and then she came and tried to sit on my lap. I wouldn't let her.

"Honey, what's wrong? I can tell that you are very troubled about something. Can you talk to me about it?. Maybe I can help you."

I didn't want to talk to her. But I knew that she was going to keep after me. So I decided to bait the hook. "It's nothing. Just a piece of the past that I don't like remembering."

"Like what?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll be alright."

"Ron, don't do this. Let's get it on the table and take care of it, whatever it is."

Pause. "OK. (pause) Well Jerry called today. He tried to act like it was just an ordinary social call. But (pause and deep breath) as the call went on he started to get serious and he finally told me he had been concerned over what happened in Washington and he (almost a whisper) just wanted to see if everything was alright between us. (She went white as a sheet) It just reminded me of that bastard Larry and those memories are not very pleasant and still very upsetting."

She started to say something, stopped, and then with tears starting, "Oh honey, I'm so sorry. When it happened I had no idea that it was going to hurt you. You know that I love you and the last thing I ever want to do is to hurt you." With that she broke into a full downpour and excused herself to the bathroom.

I didn't know whether her actions indicated she was being truly sorry or whether I had just hit a guilty nerve. I didn't feel a bit better or know anything more than before and I just felt sick. Had I built up a case on a set of circumstances that in reality had no connection? I couldn't truthfully accept that. Should I confront her now? If she was having an affair, what good would a confrontation now do? I finally decided to just ride things out until after Tuesday.

* * * * * Connecting the dots * * * * *

I made the reservations and then did my best to get through one of the worst weekends in my life. I kept telling myself that I had nothing concrete and that my speculation could be wrong. It didn't help and I just felt miserable. It was made worse by the children who quickly detected that something was wrong with Dad and wanted to know what it was. Of course, I couldn't give them a satisfactory answer.

The situation was exacerbated by Cindy, who knew what the problem was and kept trying to reassure me that she loved me and telling me how sorry she was for not understanding my take on our agreement at that time. The only relief I had was that on several of these attempts to make things right I had thought to myself, 'If my suspicions are correct, maybe her seeing how hurt I have been over the Larry affair will cause her to rethink things and cancel her date with him.' Of course, if my suspicions were unfounded, I would have put myself through a lot of grief and torment over nothing. Unfortunately, the horrible suspicions held on tenaciously.

Monday was hell. In the afternoon I took some rented surveillance equipment to the hotel, checked in, and then installed the equipment. Supper was worse than usual. Cindy got the children out of the way as soon as possible and then she came at me with all she had, trying to convince me of how sorry she was for what she had done and to reassure me of her love and wanting to get me to bed and show me. She pushed the issue to the point that I almost confronted her. Just before I did, she changed her tactic.

Standing with hands on hips and showing signs of irritation, "Damn it Ron. This has gone beyond the point of reason. You are making big deal over a misunderstanding whose consequences are not worth discussing. I made a mistake and had sex with someone else. My main mistake was doing it with someone you knew, and you don't know how sorry I am for that transgression. Yes, that was my stupid fault. But how long am I going to have to apologize for one stupid error? I hope our marriage is strong enough to withstand little mistakes that either of us may commit."

With that she broke down and burbled out in a weak voice. "I'm saying it for the last time: I'm sorry. Now I'm going to bed.

I wanted to go to her, but I just couldn't. In the morning I was able to put on a false demeanor and look a little better than the past few days. Before I left, I decided to try one last thing to see if I could find some relief. As I was putting on my coat to leave, "Honey, I don't think things will be too stacked at the office so as soon as I can clear my desk, I'll come home and we can go out for lunch and talk."

She went white and I think her legs about gave out. "Oh.. Er Uh.. sweetie I have an appointment to have my braces adjusted this morning. You know how it is there, there is no telling how long I will be. Could you come home early this afternoon?"

"You hadn't mentioned an orthodontist appointment earlier."

"Sweetie, with all that has been going on the last few days, Dr. Schmidt has been the last thing on my mind. Normally I would call and cancel the appointment, but my mouth is hurting and I need the adjustment. Can't we get together this afternoon?"

"No, I'm sorry, but I have a meeting shortly after lunch. I don't know how long it will last." At this point I was no longer able to hide my feelings and I know she saw it but she averted her eyes and said, "I'm sorry sweetie. Maybe after the children are down."

I didn't say anything as I pecked her on the cheek and left. Going to work was a joke. I was doing absolutely nothing that counted. I considered going to the hotel and confronting them. I decided against that because I knew if I caught them, in rage, I might actually kill one or both of them.

I called at lunch time and was a little surprised when she answered. I noted that she seemed a little irritated about something. With her knowing I was occupied, why hadn't she possibly spent more time with the bastard? Then it came to me, check-out is eleven. I told her that I was going to be late and not wait dinner for me.

About mid afternoon I checked into the hotel and to the room. Thankfully it had been made up. I'm sure I would have turned physically sick if the remnants of the mornings activities were still there. As I was removing the cameras, there was a knock on the door. Looking through the peep hole I could see Alan. I opened the door and let him in. "Hi Alan. Thanks for helping out."

"You're more than welcome. I'm sorry about all of this. I hadn't seen her before, but today I did see Cindy come in."

"Thanks for the info. With what I believe I have here, the two of us are finished."

"I thought you would like to know that Larry got quite mad at me this morning. "

"How's that?"

"Well, it was not too long after your wife came in that he called the desk and wanted to extend his stay for another day. My clerk turned the request over to me when Larry started to become abusive. He was pissed off because he would have to change rooms. I told him this room had been specifically asked for and that we could not change it. He finally Accepted another room. When I told him I would send a bellman to help move, he immediately told me no. He could handle it himself."

I asked if he had seen them leave and he told me that Cindy left about four. Larry had also left but he didn't know when—it was after Cindy. I was puzzled. How had Cindy gotten back and forth so quickly. It didn't take a ton of bricks to fall—she had used call forwarding. There would be no record of the afternoon activities, but so what, I didn't need it.

As I finished removing the equipment I was being torn about looking at the videos. I had told Cindy that I would not be home for dinner, planning to look at the videos. Now I was not sure I wanted to see them right now. I needed to think about what I was going to do at this point. If the tapes showed what I thought (no, now what I really knew), I needed to find an attorney. There were no circumstances which could exonerate her and let me take her back. If the tapes showed nothing, that's a fat laugh, then I needed to set a few things straight and get us back on course. But I just couldn't bring myself to looking at them right now. I called Cindy and told her things had been canceled and that I would be home for dinner. Maybe I could detect something with her.

On the way home, something from the past occurred to me. On the Monday after the reunion, Cindy had given in and gone for a check-up. That night she told me that the tests were negative. Wait just a damned minute now. They don't normally have results back the same day. I never saw a certificate, I had only her word. I called the doctor's office and ascertained that she had not been to the doctor at all. Her last visit had been for her annual physical about eight months earlier.

Fortunately, when I got to the house I found that the kids had gone to spend the night with friends. Tomorrow was a teacher work day and there was no school. I decided to take it slow. "How was your day?"

"It was fine. Nothing special except for being without kids tonight."

We talked about things in general while we got supper on the table. As we ate she finally looked over and asked if I was getting on top of my problem. "No, I can't say that I am. You are not doing much to help the matter."

She looked up in shock and asked what I meant by that.

"Why did you lie to me?"

With irritation, "What in the hell are you talking about now?"

"When we came back from the reunion, why did you lie to me about getting a checkup for STD's?"

More irritated and sputtering, "What are you talking about?" Her rapid switch to irritation told me that I was rubbing on raw nerves, nerves that were very close to the surface and recently exposed.