Butch Lesbian Atheist Goes Muslim

I've fought against my submissive nature my whole life. I rebelled against the fact that man and woman are different, and have different strengths and roles to play. I joined the Feminist League while at the University of Ottawa, and the women in the group fostered in me a hatred of men, of their place in the world, and in a way, they taught me to hate my femininity. At long last I rejected all of these silly notions, and found inner peace. I am a woman. I am submissive to the man I am with. It's how mother nature intended things to be. My name is Annabelle "Fatima" Kensington-Suleiman and I am a new Muslim convert living in the City of Ottawa, Ontario, with my Muslim husband Djohar Suleiman.

Anyone looking at me would see a five-foot-eleven, chubby and big-bottomed, blonde-haired and green-eyed white woman in her thirties. These days I wear the hijab and I have traded in my trousers for an ankle-length skirt. Before I met my husband Djohar Suleiman, I was lost. When I think back on those days, I shudder with dread. I was involved with the Feminist League of Ottawa, as I said before. Come to think of it, I was fodder for the women in the league. An easy recruit. You see, my whole life I've done nothing but reject my femininity and my natural place in the world as a woman. I joined the all-male wrestling club at my old high school, and being the only female wrestler on the squad, I made headlines. I appeared in the town newspaper, and I got interviewed by reporters far and wide. I only won thirteen out of my thirty six matches during my first season on the wrestling team but I was called a pioneer, a role model and a game changer by pretty much everyone I encountered.

While on the wrestling team, I met a young woman named Catherine Thaddeus, the daughter of our head coach, and she became my first female lover. Getting involved into a lesbian relationship appealed to me because I was sexually curious about women and I also wanted to defy the male-dominated culture of Canada which saw women as property of men. No woman rebels against the social order like a lesbian, a woman who only loves other women. I cut my hair short, got a ton of tattoos and adopted a masculine style of dress. Thus I became a butch lesbian, and I was proud to be one. My relationship with Catherine Thaddeus lasted three years, then we went our separate ways.

I rebelled against anything I saw as patriarchal, eventually rejecting the Catholic faith I was born into. My parents, Paul and Myriam Kensington were appalled, but there was nothing they could do to stop me. After graduating from the University of Ottawa with a degree in civil engineering, (a major I chose only because it was male-dominated and thus a challenge for me as a woman ) I decided to join the Canadian Armed Forces. While stationed in the Kandahar province of Afghanistan, I saw and experienced a world I never knew existed. The world of women who submitted to their men according to the Will of Allah. The world of Muslim women. Clad in hijabs and long robes or full-body covers known as burkas, the women of Afghanistan were unlike anything I'd ever seen before. In this country, where Islamic law was the rule of the land, male and female roles were clearly defined. No room for tomboys, butch lesbians or other rebellious women in Afghanistan. Islam wouldn't allow it.

I became fascinated by Islam, which surprised me because I was a butch lesbian atheist who hated male authority, the polar opposite of what a Muslim woman was supposed to be. When the Canadian Armed Forces asked us Canadian women soldiers to wear the hijab while going into Afghanistan's rural areas, the more conservative parts of the country, many of us staunchly refused. I was given a hijab and for some reason I didn't toss it like I said I would. I went to my bunker, and after making sure I was alone, I tried on the hijab. I looked at myself in the mirror, and shuddered. I took off the hijab and tossed it, swearing that I would never become one of those submissive women in the Islamic world who bowed down to men and did everything men told them. No, I wouldn't be like those weaklings. I am better than them. I am not only a lesbian, I'm butch on top of it. I'm above and beyond such things. Islam was definitely NOT for a butch lesbian atheist soldier like me!

That's what I told myself, and then I got injured. I got shot down in a firefight, and the person who rescued me was a six-foot-six, 260-pound Somali-Canadian soldier named Djohar "Joe" Suleiman, a Captain in the Canadian Armed Forces, if you can believe that. This heroic and chivalrous young man saved my life. As I recuperated on base, I had a lot of time to think. I'd been led to think of Muslims as woman-hating, domineering creeps who hated freedom and democracy. Yet one of them saved my life. How could that be? One day, I was visited by none other than Djohar. The handsome young Somali man sat with me, and told me he was glad to see me doing better. I looked at him and smiled, and from that moment on, we forged a tentative friendship.

Djohar Suleiman visited me often, and he told me about his family and friends back in Toronto, Ontario, and his Muslim faith. I learned how wrong I'd been about Islam, and promised Djohar that I would be more open-minded from now on. When I returned to Canada, I got myself a job working for a big company in Ottawa. Two months after I came back, guess who I ran into? None other than Djohar. He was walking out of a mosque in the east end of Ottawa, and greeted me joyfully. When he invited me to check out the mosque, I hesitated. Something made me say yes, and little did I know that from that day forward, my life wouldn't be the same.

I was blown away by the size of the mosque, the beauty of it, and the sense of togetherness I experienced with the women I saw there. That's why I decided to come back. A month later, before my dear Djohar, I took my Shahada. I converted to Islam, taking the name Fatima. Thus my new life began. I was now a Muslim. I gave up my previous life as a butch lesbian, a female wrestler who took on male wrestler, and a woman soldier who fought for Canada against innocent Muslims in Afghanistan. I am no longer that person. I am now Fatima Suleiman. For you see, shortly after my conversion, Djohar and I began dating. I was initially hesitant because I still had a few lingering butch lesbian feelings and tendencies, I told Djohar that part of me would find it hard to yield to him in the bedroom. Smiling, Djohar told me that he looked forward to the challenge.

The first night we made love was a bit awkward, but I soon learned to enjoy surrendering to Djohar, the strong Muslim man from Somalia whom Allah has chosen to be my husband. I learned what many women already knew, us women like not only to conquer but also to be conquered. I have gotten proficient at sucking Djohar's dick when he comes home and I suck his dick so well that he frequently blows his cum on my face. Once I would have felt revulsion at such sexual acts but now I enjoy them. For a while I still had trouble allowing Djohar Suleiman to insert his massive ebony cock into my vagina, but now it's no trouble at all. I even allow my Muslim husband to take his pleasure by inserting his penis in my anus, after cleaning it of course. Yes, I am a former butch lesbian atheist soldier who, after embracing Islam, has grown to enjoy getting fucked in the ass by my Muslim husband. Now you've seen everything!

I have even more joyful news, ladies and gentlemen. Not only has Islam cured me of my butch tendencies and lesbian urges ( for the most part ) but it has also provided me with something I never thought I'd have, the focal point of womanhood, the one thing us women can do that men can't. I became a mother. Yup, I got pregnant and gave birth to triplets, two sons, Omar and Wahid, and a daughter, Afaf. Life simply couldn't be better. I am now complete. I am now a devoted stay-at-home mom and loving wife to my strong and proud Muslim husband Djohar Suleiman, and I feel complete. My strange past as a butch lesbian atheist/soldier/female wrestler is just that, the past. Feminism brought me nothing but angst and loneliness. Islam is the way!