Buying My Wife

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Man buys a wife and shares her with his friend.
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There are lots of way to get a wife, but I have never managed to do that. So when I saw an ad in a weekly paper at the porn shop which read, "Buy a wife for $200," I figured I should check it out.

I drove over to the address in the ad, which was out in the country on a sort of farm, but I didn't see any evidence of farming or barnyard animals. There was a house and a large barn-like structure, and a sign that said "OFFICE" with an arrow that pointed toward the house.

So I parked and went in, and found myself in what looked like any small waiting room, complete with a girl behind the desk who smiled and asked "are you here to buy a wife."

I found myself stammering, "Maybe... I guess I need some more details," and she laughed and said, "Of course you do, just fill this out."

She handed my a clipboard with a form on it, and I sat down to fill it out. It was like a lot of health and employment forms, asking for some information about me, nothing special or unusual.

When I returned the clipboard with the completed form, she smiled and said, "Now let's go find you a nice wife; you look like you need some sex pretty bad."

I hesitated, and asked,"I need to know this is legal... and I would rather look at pictures and profiles right here."

"Don't worry," she assured me, "we sell several wives every day, and it is totally legal."

She led me out the back door of the house and we walked toward the barn. I could hear a lot of noise, and that increased when we opened the barn door. There was no smell of horses or cows, but a distinct odor which I found interesting and possibly arousing, and a faint tinge of what may have been perfume.

I followed her through a sort of entryway with a big chalkboard which was marked with lines and notations on it; names like Susie and Jane, followed by various numbers and dates, the meaning of which was not clear to me.

The girl handed me another clipboard saying "take notes on which ones you like best," then come back to the office to see me when you have decided."

I must have been sort of in shock, because she gave me a little shove and said, "there are a lot of choices, so get going." I staggered a little as I started forward. My prospective wives were in cages! Their names were on the cage, and they had on no clothing - their cages were sparsely furnished. Just a pad to rest on, and a place to eliminate, and another to eat. I could tell they did not let them out of the cages, at least not very often, because there was debris on the floor around the doors that suggested there had been no movement in or out of the cage for a while at least.

There truly was an astonishing variety of size and shape, some much better looking than others, but none were what I would call fat... suggesting they were fed no more than necessary.

And all were totally nude. I spoke gently to the ones that aroused me the most, but only a few responded in any clear or specific manner. Some did not move from where they lay. Others seemed angry at me, or at everyone. A few seemed happy to see me, or anxious for me (or anyone?) to take them away from this place.

Those that seemed happy to see me would often come to the door of the cage and press against it, and I took notes of my favorites as I went along... there were two that were actually quite beautiful, despite the lack of any makeup. Both of these had beautiful teeth and gave me the impression that they loved me already. I had almost forgotten that it was not reasonable to buy a wife... but for $200, how could I go wrong? If she didn't work out, I could just shove her out the door!

I began wondering how much I would have to spend to keep her from running away and to keep her fed. I probably could use the commercial feed they used here, and keep her in the basement most of the time. The house was warmer than here, so I wouldn't have to buy her any clothing. But would I need some kind of restraint if she were with me in the rest of the house or in the yard. I could improve my fence for very little and add a lock to the gate so she could use the yard.

I didn't plan on taking her anywhere else, so it didn't seem to be an expensive proposition.

But we would need a good bed to fuck in.

To tell the truth I was getting quite aroused at the idea of having a naked wife in my house, available for sex of any kind at "my pleasure," and had a fairly stiff erection by the time I got back to the office and found the girl there.

She smiled as she noted my erection, saying, "I can see you have fallen in love!"

I nodded, and gave her the clipboard, with the names "Bonnie" and "Carla" circled and marked "1" and "2".

"They just got here this week," she said. I figured they would be married in a few days, they are both going to make some lucky guy a beautiful wife.

"Do you want to buy both, or only one?"

"Can I buy both?," I asked.

"Of course, you can buy as many wives as you can support in a healthy lifestyle."

So, needless to say, I wrote out a check for $400, and discovered that they hit me for some associated fees for medical tests on me and on my new wives. But the total was only $525, since I didn't need to take tests twice even though I had two wives purchased. I had spent more than that on one dinner date with tickets to the ball game, so this seemed like an amazing bargain.

They gave me a booklet that seemed to be some kind of "sex education information", which I figured I did not need... I KNEW what I did need! They brought my wives out to my car, and I put them in the back, wishing I had brought something to protect the upholstery, they had no clothing at all, and for all I knew they were going to pee on my car, or worse.

But they were both well behaved, and seemed to like each other immediately, even though their cages had not been anywhere near each other. I couldn't understand what they were saying to each other, but they both seemed very happy to be out of that place. I assumed they were also happy because they liked the way I looked and handled myself.

Driving home, I was so excited that I had my cock out and was playing with it, but my new wives didn't seem to notice - or if they did notice, they didn't mind.

But I didn't want to come just yet, I wanted to be ready to start fucking the minute we got home. I thought about stopping along the road, but decided that someone might stop by and see us - I didn't expect anyone to understand.

Each of my wives had a collar and I had leashes to lead them into the house, I wasn't really sure either of them could understand English - I had forgotten to ask that.

The girl at the farm said that I would probably not need the leash for very long, just until they were "settled."

I put Carla in the basement, even though she raised a little ruckus- she clearly didn't like it... so I had to use a little discipline the way the girl had explained if I had any problem with cooperation from either wife.

I took Bonnie into the bedroom and she joined me on the bed without being told. She snuggled up and we began kissing and all, it was like instant love. I found myself thinking of all the years I had been alone, or paid bitch hookers, or jerked off alone, and I wondered why I didn't just buy a wife a long time ago! Of course, it was because I did not know that was a possibility.

I was learning what Bonnie liked by touching her everywhere, eventually reaching her pussy, but she pulled away. I did not think it was unreasonable for her to be a trifle shy, so I refocused my attention on caressing her and kissing her. I pushed her head down to my groin, and she explored it eagerly, licking each and every part of me as if I were food. I tried to encourage her to suck on my cock, but once she had licked me once, she seemed to lose interest.

I took her head firmly and held it to my erection, hoping she already knew what I wanted. But she just didn't seem to understand. She gave a half-hearted lick or two, but wouldn't take it in her mouth. By this time I had begun to worry that maybe if I forced myself in her mouth, she might bite me, and that thought sort of "deflated" me.

I decided to read the material they had given me at the wife farm. The pamphlet made it clear that a new wife WILL enjoy sex with you, but not all the time. It said "Don't ever force sex on her. When she is ready and willing, she will come to you and practically push her pussy in your face. That will happen regularly, but not every day."

So I was not going to get sex every day. At least not from Bonnie. I took Bonnie to the basement, and put her down there, and brought Carla into the bedroom. Bonnie didn't like it, but she went. I could still hear her whiny complaints as I jumped up on the bed with Carla, who joined me just as willingly as Bonnie had, maybe even more enthusiastically.

I started with Carla as I had with Bonnie, kisses and caresses. I tried to get a blow job, but only got some nice licking. And when I tried to give Carla some head, she became quite excited. That got me stiff as a board, and I tried to position her pussy to enter her, but she resisted and pulled away. I began licking her again, and here was no doubt she really liked it, but after my third attempt to enter her cunt, I realized that it was not going to happen. I was uncertain how violent either of my wives might be, and I was not going to force the issue.

So I jerked off, and while I did that, Carla came close and licked my balls and my cock, and licked up all the cum too. They were really both quite lovely and loving, and did not seem to be interested in running away, or fighting me. But I hadn't gotten fucked either. Later I would realize that if I put something sweet on my cock, or butter, they were even more interested in sucking it. Especially if they weren't overfed.

If all you have to buy for a wife is some food (and I gave them my table scraps), it really isn't that expensive to have a wife. Or two. Or more. But the waiting for them to get interested in fucking was not any fun, and after two days I realized that I might as well have several wives, so I could get all the fucking I needed. There had been three others at the farm that I liked almost as much, and now that I knew they did not need separate rooms, I realized there was actually room for 10 in the basement! So I drove back to the farm and got three more wives. The girl told me that most guys do return when they realize that they can afford and keep several wives happy... but mostly it means he will get fucked most every day by one or the other, sometimes two may want it on the same day... but I can certainly manage that.

Plus I have found that it is even more fun if I fuck them while the others are watching. Sometimes the others will move in close and lick at us while we are fucking, it really adds to the enjoyment. Try it, you'll like it.

Some of the guys at work noted that I was a lot happier, but I waited to tell them until I was sure I didn't need even more wives. When I finally did tell my best friend at work that I had "bought a wife", he really didn't believe it.

He was married, but his wife would rarely agree to have sex, maybe only once a month, and only if he was super nice to her. He complained that she would not suck or lick his cock. When he told me about all my wives and how great the sex was - and then offered to share them - he really was certain I was putting him on, but I must have sounded convincing because he kept asking me questions. I described fucking in the morning, at noon when I went home for lunch, and once or twice at night. And in the middle of the night if I woke up and felt horny. He just didn't believe it. Then I explained that I didn't just have ONE wife, I had 5 and was going to get a sixth as soon as I could afford her.

He really was incredulous about all of it.

So I asked if he wanted to come over and meet them? I told him Jeannie was all hot right now and would probably want both of us to fuck her. He seemed sure I was just jerking his chain, but he said he was going to come visit just in case some of it was true. He arrived after work a few minutes behind me and I had a beer open for him when he got to the door.

"Ready to meet Jeannie?"

"Absolutely," and you're sure she will want to fuck me even though we haven't met? And you're sure you don't mind?"

"I want you to enjoy her as much as I do. In fact, you can go first."

I went to the basement door and yelled "Jeannie!"

She was up the stairs in a moment, along with the other wives, but I kept the others behind in the basement for now. Jeannie was all over my friend Ed. He enjoyed the attention and was caressing her as he started removed his clothing before he even got to the bedroom. She would turn and push her pussy at him as soon as he stopped stroking it - she couldn't wait to get her pussy full of cock.

I shut the door for privacy, he could wait till later to have the other wives present ... As soon as he had his pants off, Jeannie was licking at his already stiff cock, then turning to push her pussy at him. He didn't spend much more time on preliminaries, and was in her up to the hilt in just a few strokes. Holding her and humping like crazy, yelling, "Fuckin' bitch, take this... FUCCCCCKKKKK."

He quickly blew his load, and pulled his cock out, laughing as he said,"Was it good for you too, Jeannie."

Jeannie just licked the cum dripping from his cock then licked her pussy too for good measure.

"DAMNation, Fred, you are one SMART fucker! I knew there was a reason I wanted to be your best friend."

And so Ed and I party with my wives several times a week, then go to his place and let his wife serve us dinner.

We finally have a world that works for us. I haven't paid a whore in years, I spend less on my 10 wives in a month than I spent on one night with a hooker - and that was an UGLY hooker. Now whenever I am feeling low or bored, I just go out to the wife farm and buy a "new" wife. And the others never seem jealous, they all seem to enjoy every new wife, my wives are very sociable.

Now that I have so many wives, I may have some trouble satisfying them when they get horny... so I plan on inviting more friends over on occasion. Maybe I should charge them a little to pay for beer and other expenses? How much would you be willing to pay?

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  • COMMENTS
9 Comments
NemarleNemarleover 2 years ago

I wonder how many readers will realize that the wives this guy buys are ANIMALS (probably pigs). It is a funny story in some ways but sad that a guy is so far from being able to fuck a REAL woman that he has to resort to veterinary sex.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Confused...

Okay so I read your comment about the pigs?? Your gonna have to explain. Thanks

prevackerprevackerabout 7 years agoAuthor
What many readers don't seem to figure out.

The guy is buying PIGS, not humans.

So it is still a pretty rude story, but not what some people seem to think it is.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
It's a great spoof. I worry about the very negative commenters.

Possibly they think everything on this site is real. That is scary.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
People don't seem to "get it"

The other folks who commented tell a lot about themselves! But don't seem to realize that the story is about a guy who goes out to a pig farm and buys a PIG for his wife? duh?

The comments by folks who love their "BDSM" are actually pretty funny in view of their lack of understanding? Being able to read is not the same as UNDERSTANDING what you read?

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