Cade Ch. 02

I watched him grin and disappear into the adjoining bathroom. I sat down on the dark green chaise and studied the room while the sound of running water tempted to distract my perusal.

It had been a long time since I had been to the third floor guest suites and I smiled as I saw my mother's expert decorative taste in every little corner. The dark wood walls encased a highly polished oak floor covered with hand woven beige rugs. The darker beige curtains picked up the color of the down spread on the king size bed and a small sitting area sat next to an alcove with a large darkly wooded desk. Books of all shapes and sizes were stacked on either side of the paper scattered desk and I found myself curious as to what Micah possibly would read. I looked at the slightly ajar bathroom door and tiptoed over to the desk area.

I scanned the titles with my fingers and quickly realized he must be into travel or something of the sort due to the international flavor of the titles. Guides to Europe and beautiful landscape books were piled next to foreign romances and histories of other countries. The last book I had picked up had been in college and god knows those had even been forced on me. The only real thing I liked in a literary sense was my own journal.

I had been documenting my life and inner struggles since that day that I had come out to my parents, and book after book was filled with my former loves, hopes, and dreams. I hadn't written much in the last four months since I had offered to go to New York for my father and looking at these books reminded me of such.

I stood up from the books and happened to glance at the items thrown around the surface of Micah's desk. A red leather bound journal caught my eye and my eyes widened as I recognized it immediately. My initials were stamped in the bottom right corner and a ribbon like bookmarker was stuck inside the pages. I snatched the journal off the desk and opened it to where the ribbon had last left off. My heart sank further as I realized which journal Micah had chosen to read.

This was the last journal I had written and stored in my closet downstairs before leaving for New York. It contained every detail of my heart break with Damon and the reason that I had jumped at the chance to leave in the first place. The very words in this book described the man who had taken another behind my back and left me broken and alone.

I slapped the pages shut and turned to see Micah wearing red flannel pajama bottoms and a white thermal. His face was blank as he looked between me and the journal and I felt a seething fury rise in my chest. Why did he have this in the first place? What was he trying to pull here?

"Cade, I just happened to find it." He murmured and tried to take a step closer.

I took a side step around him and felt better being on the side of the room with the nearest exit. I shook my head in disbelief at the other man and felt tears threatening to break free.

"You just happened to find my private journal in my closet downstairs? How many more do you have Micah? HUH? Where are they?" I started to shout and he put his hands up slowly in defense.

"Cade I swear! It was already up here when I moved in. I didn't go through your stuff, and as for reading it, I just couldn't help it. Your writing is very beautiful and very real." His dark blue eyes looked wild in panic and his voice hitched as the words spilled from his mouth.

"You just can't seem to help yourself in any aspect can you? First you somehow manage to weasel your way into my family by becoming the first live-in assistant my father has ever had. Then when things couldn't possibly get worse for us, you decide to prey on his grieving and broken son; throwing yourself at him like you know, he can't possibly resist. You learn all about him and read his personal journal so you can better stick your claws in him where it's still tender huh?"

"Well you know what? I don't fucking know you and now I really wouldn't put stock in trusting you. I'll have Maggie find you new housing by the end of the week and you can go back to London for all I give a shit." I was shaking all over and all but slammed the door into the wall as I yanked it open.

My feet quickly carried me back to the kitchen and I paced around the island not knowing what else to do. I could remember the last time I had been this mad and the end result had not been pretty. It had cost me about four thousand dollars in damages to my ex's Porsche, but to say it was worth it was an understatement. I heard light steps stop by the door and looked up to see Maggie.

"What was all that yelling and why do you look like you're about to combust?" She put a hand on her hip and raised a brow at me.

I slammed the journal down on the stainless steel island and gestured at it. "He's been reading my journals Mags. Who the hell does that?" I threw my hands in the air.

"I do." She smiled and walked to where the journal lay haphazardly. "I may just be the family housekeeper," she rolled her eyes, "but when you don't call or visit, I miss you. When I felt like you weren't ever coming back I started to go through them and they made me miss you less." She stared off out the window and wrapped her arms around herself.

"I put the journal in his room when he moved in." She put a hand up when I started to speak, "you have no idea how lonely that man is. Just like you grieve, he does just as much. The reason your father brought him to live here with us, was because he had no one. Or rather he did, and they all turned their backs on him because they were not as accepting as your parents were. Your parents helped him through a very hard time and showed him that not all families were based on negligence and ill respects, but rather love and support."

"Your words are so very vivid about who you are, that I felt he could learn that not everyone is so cruel. You are such a passionate and beautiful person and I knew he would find comfort in your journals. So you can be mad if you want, but do not blame him. Blame me." She turned around and looked at me with a teary gaze.

"This house could use some love and support again and I think he could be where you start." She walked past me swiftly and I felt torn to pieces inside.

I fingered the buttery softness of the leather covering my journal as my heart pounded in my chest. What am I going to do? He had been telling the truth and I had rejected him, just like his family apparently. I went to the sink and splashed some cool water on my face and smoothed my hair away from my forehead. I was going to have to apologize yet again and I was nervous as I had ever been.

Wandering over to the bar in the corner, I poured myself a decent amount of Jameson and threw it back. I gasped at the sudden burn in my chest, but the golden liquid did its job and brought me out of my thought coma. I put the glass in the sink and took one more look at myself in the mirror above the bar. I decided it didn't really matter how I looked, just that I had the right words for Micah.

My phone startled me and I slid it from the back of my jeans. I knew I had to answer or Dan would just keep calling. With a sigh I slid the touch screen to greet my best friend.

"Hey Dan."

"Hey yourself, why haven't you called me back?" His normally cheery tone sounded irritated.

"I've been busy."

"Cadence honestly." I knew he rolled his eyes, "I don't think moping about and looking at the ceiling qualifies as being busy."

"Look I'm sorry D, it's just been rough and I didn't feel like talking. I didn't mean to shut you out."

"So you feel like talking now? I haven't seen you or heard from you since last weekend and I'm getting worried." His mother hen persona broke free.

"I guess I just realized today that everything around me can't change itself, so I have to get it together." I sat at the stool by the island.

"You know you're not alone in this Cade. You have people who care about you and are willing to help." His tone softened.

"I know, I just have no idea where to start picking up the pieces." I groaned and rested my chin on my hand.

"Well lucky for you, you have a best friend who's rather good at picking you up off the floor. I'm coming up there, and I'll be there in the morning. No arguments Cade, we're going to get you back on your feet." He commanded and I smiled slightly.

"Where are you anyways?" I asked hearing voices in the background.

"Oh I'm at Jess's. She's needed a break from the kids for weeks and I offered to watch them for a few days. She just got back this afternoon from some spa, hence the reason I'll be there in the morning." He noted with a laugh.

"Your nieces breaking you in a little too hard there?" I chuckled.

"Something like that." He laughed, "Get some rest Cade, I'll be there in the morning. Tell Mags I want some of those cinnamon rolls ready." He teased and I smiled.

"Sure thing D. I'll see you soon."

We hung up and I felt a smidge better knowing I would have back up if this Micah ordeal sorely blew up in my face. I really wished my mom were here, knowing she would have the perfect solution to this mess, but the reality was she wasn't. I tried to think what she would have done if I was upset and had a sudden if childish idea.

"Hey Mags?" I called out, knowing she would be nearby.

A shuffling from down the hall got my attention and Maggie appeared in a pair of soft vanilla pajamas. I walked over to her and grabbed her in a hug.

"I don't blame you Mags. I've missed you too." I felt her tiny arms squeeze my waist and she sighed. "I'm sorry I've been horrible, but I just miss them so much. I guess if they had journals lying around, I would read them too. I'd share them with anyone who would be willing because they would know how remarkable they were." I would not let myself cry so I took a sharp breath and let it go slowly.

Maggie lifted herself from my chest and cupped a hand to my face, "Honey you are remarkable, and everyone should know."

I shifted my eyes away shyly and she chuckled, "I was hoping you would do me a favor Mags."

"What might that be honey?" She folded her arms over her chest and smiled.

"Hot chocolate with cinnamon for two?" I grinned hopefully.

"Hoping to bribe the boy I see." She waggled her eyebrows and went straight to the stove and started to prepare my favorite heartache remedy.

"Dan's coming up tomorrow morning by the way. He requested cinnamon rolls."

She laughed out right at that, "Oh I can't wait to see him! It's been such a long time since he's actually stayed here for a while. He is staying right?" She turned as she whisked milk and chocolate in the pot.

"Knowing D, I'm pretty sure he'll be here for a while." "Good. I'll prep the rolls for the morning." She grabbed three mugs from the cabinet and began pouring the sweet liquid into them. I grabbed the whip cream and cinnamon and she finished the rest.

"Now you take this to him and be nice." Maggie gave me another tray and put a finger into my chest to emphasize her point.

"Okay I get it." I smirked and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Mags."

She nodded grabbing her own mug and pushed me into the hall, "get out of here."

I walked up the stairs to the third floor with a smile, but as soon as I reached his door I faltered. What if the things I said had pushed him too far and he hated me now? I shook my head at the thought, knowing if I was going to get back on my feet, I needed to find out for myself like a real man. I set one cup on the side table and knocked on the door. I didn't hear anything at first and went to knock again, when the door opened slowly.

"I'm packing my stuff in a little while, so please just don't yell at me anymore. I'll be gone tomorrow." Micah looked at the floor and went to close the door again, but I stopped it with my foot.

"Hey." I stuck the mug of hot chocolate through the door, "can we talk?"

He looked at me through strands of stray black hair and I could see the emotions running across his eyes. "About what?" he murmured.

"Everything and anything." I smiled and lifted the cup again.

"Sure." He shrugged uncertainly and opened the door wider as he took the mug offered.

"Thanks." I grabbed my own mug and walked into his room.

He sat down on the edge of his bed and sipped from his mug, letting a small smile play on his lips as he closed his eyes to savor the taste.

"It's good huh?" I chuckled and sat on the chaise I had earlier.

"Very." He licked his lips and reminded me of an overgrown child. Not that any child I knew was over six feet with rock hard muscles, but it made me smile all the same.

"So..." I took a deep breath, "I wanted to apologize about earlier. I was wrong to accuse you of stealing the journal and the other things I said were just plain cruel. I'm sorry and I hope you could find it in yourself to forgive me." I stared into his sexy darkening eyes and lost my breath.

He brushed the hair out of his eyes and watched me for a few agonizing moments before smiling. "I will forgive you on one condition, and it's off the professional record."

I raised a brow curiously, "and what would that be?"

He rose from his seat on the bed and walked over to me holding out his hand. My stomach did a flip flop as I looked up at him and then to his outstretched hand. I took it and he pulled me to my feet, landing my body close to his.

"One kiss," he whispered and I felt like my body was suddenly full of hot melting butter.

I wanted to feel this stranger's soft lips on mine more than anything, but I still didn't know him and didn't want to appear desperate.

He leaned down a few inches and his warm breath caressed my neck, "Just one, I promise."

His hand brushed down my side and I shivered as it wrapped around my hip and brought me closer to his chest. I whimpered as he kissed the side of my neck softly and my hand wrapped itself around the back of his neck. I reveled in the feeling of his thick silky locks and threaded my fingers through them slowly.

I had no idea why I was giving in, but I just couldn't help myself. I laughed internally as I finally realized what he meant; that he just couldn't stop. It didn't really matter how long we knew each other or that he was simply a god compared to me; it just mattered that he felt good pressed against me.

He started to tongue the soft skin behind my ear and I moaned holding his head to me. His hand that was on my hip moved under the thick wool of my sweater and sent tingles all over my body as his warm flesh connected with my chest for the first time. I pressed my growing erection into him and was rewarded with an identical reaction on his part. He broke from my neck and grabbed the back of my head bringing our lips together in a searing kiss. He groaned into my mouth and his tongue broke my lips apart. I sucked his tongue into me and tasted him thoroughly before letting my own tongue enter him. The kiss lasted only a moment more before he broke us apart and stepped back.

I stood there panting, looking at him for a sign of something I did wrong, when he said, "I forgive you now."

I nodded in a daze and sat on the chaise to collect myself as he sat back on the bed, "you should get some sleep Cade. It's getting late."

I looked at him and nodded like an obedient puppy and grabbed my mug. He was so calm and put together as he sat there in pajamas with hot chocolate, while I felt like I was about to crawl out of my skin in pure need. I don't know how the last few hours managed to turn my life upside down, but I knew if I had a say about it, Micah Derenger was going to help me right my world again.

I bid him a quick mumbled goodnight and all but ran back to my room for some much needed relief.