Calculated Risk Ch. 01

"That explains the message...now forgive me if I sound callous, but...so?" she asked, working with what she had but still not seeing where he was going with this. "We can make it back to the city, charter a shuttle, and you get the medicine you picked up for your brother to your tribe. We can do that, can't we?"

Again there was a pause before he spoke. "There are...side-effects the longer we deny the Pon Farr, Madeleine. You experienced the consequences of one tonight. They will become stronger with time." She stared at him, and he added, "It is called plak-tow."

That she could translate. It was literally "blood fever."

"You use that phrase for insanity," she said quietly, and Skaun nodded.

"We have been known to die from it, Madeleine."

Her mouth was hanging open in the silence that followed. So this Vulcan whom she was supposed to pick up in trade for coming to study Pith'Regin was indirectly the reason the shuttle had gone down in the first place and the only one who could guide her back to either place: the city or the tribe. Only now he was implying that not only couldn't he help her, couldn't show her the way back unless he had sex with her, but also that he would die if he didn't. And, indirectly, so would his sick brother without his medicine.

Three lives in the balance, including her own, and it rested on her shoulders to make the choice. Assuming Skaun didn't just lose his mind anyway and bend her over a boulder to fuck her silly.

It was the most unfair choice she'd ever faced. After the crash and the disorientation, the fear and the guilt of leaving the pilot, and then waking up in the dark to someone physically attacking and overbearing her—

*I can't deal with this right now, I just can't!*

"The suns are down, let's get packing," she demanded hurriedly, getting painfully to her feet. "The sooner we leave, the sooner we get that shuttle and get you home."

She pulled a few more painkillers out of the med kit, taking them with a bit of water and rations. She heard Skaun ingesting from his supplies as well; he didn't say a word more about their situation. She couldn't wear her goggles at night and still see even a little bit so she kept those packed, but she still donned her respirator and helmet, just in case.

Much as she wished otherwise, the Vulcan needed to help her down from their cave; she couldn't see as well as he could. Though she could admit it would be a much more comfortable temperature traveling at night beneath the moonlight, her risk of injury went way up because her night vision wasn't acute. To avoid any bad falls, she needed his help, just as she needed him as her guide out in the wilderness.

And he needed someone to have sex with.

Madeleine was highly aware every time they were touching; holding hands (even through her gloves), him holding her arm or taking her by the waist to lift her down from a higher point.

She knew that she was short compared to most people, but the point was really exaggerated next to the Vulcans and this one in particular. His legs were so long, if he'd made it this far in a day jogging...how long was it going to take them to retrace his path?

Because of her and her short legs, probably a Hell of a lot longer.

She kept going over things in her mind. She felt like she was being trapped into making a "choice" that was no choice at all, and she'd been brought up not to sell her body, to trade it for things or favors. It went against her idea of self-respect. If there was another way, any way at all, she was supposed to find it.

But when survival of others might depend on her giving it up...? Who'd have thought that scenario would actually come up in her lifetime?

She glanced up at the Vulcan. He kept eyes forward and his face overall stoic, though she saw a tick in his cheek. While the idea—maybe—wouldn't seem so disconcerting with a human man (hopefully a cute one even though any cute man saying he needed sex or he was going to die was flat-out lying),...when she thought about being intimate with a Vulcan whom she didn't even know except in this "Pon Farr" state (which he made clear was not his normal personality), her stomach gripped itself and almost turned inside out with fear.

She was a researcher, but a scholarly one; an observer, a reader and writer, she handled databases and contributed to the vast knowledge of the Federation of Planets. This trip had been one of her smaller "hands-on" goals; she was just supposed to watch a ritual in a rural setting, that was all!

At twenty-six, she wouldn't even call herself "experienced" within her own kind. A few lovers here and there, some interesting experiences with guys who ultimately were her friends, but her work and space travel always came first and they didn't stay together.

What was she supposed to think about making it with aliens? What if she got pregnant? She wasn't even sure that was actually possible, but she certainly didn't have a condom. Even if there had been prophylactics in the shuttle or her bag, they wouldn't have survived the trip down to the ground!

Besides, how could she be certain it would actually help Skaun, and in turn, help her and his brother? What did he need from her? How often did he need it, what could she expect? If it was more treatment like back at the cave...well, no, thank you!

Then there was how he was feeling, or thinking, about touching her. Just because she was the only female within miles, and not even his own kind, what did he think about that?

Maybe if she were him...an ailing brother might be pretty powerful motivation...

Every so often she felt a tremor pass through him. He was trying to resist, he really was, and he hadn't been emoting much frustration with how the journey was going at first; only an occasional frown or exhale. Their progress had been abysmally slow between her not being able to see well enough to maintain even a quick walking pace and Skaun having to stop every now and then to try to determine where they were, and whether they'd strayed from their path.

Twice they'd had to backtrack because he'd lost his sense of direction. He had stopped apologizing to her; he simply travelled, and stayed standing, shuffling her along. Half the night had passed, and she could still see the top of the mountain which had contained their cave.

It was...maddening. And she was growing more and more uncomfortable with the expressions that were crossing the Vulcan's shadowed face. They implied barely restrained violence...and pain. She actually heard his teeth grind once, and she caught him looking at her like he was considering violence before his hand tightened on her wrist and he forced himself to look away. He pulled her along, making her stumble, then in less than a quarter mile they had to backtrack a third time and he growled. He actually growled in frustration in that stony face.

*We're going to die out here,* she thought, a deep dread of her fate—stronger than any fear she had of coupling with a Vulcan—finally making her see reason.

What the hell was it worth, anyway? Her pride, her distaste, her insecurities? Was it worth dying for, staying in denial until it was too late that some miracle would happen to excuse her from facing this? It was just the way it was. She could choose to act on it, or she could choose not to. Sometimes fairness had nothing to do with the workings of the universe.

"Okay," she said, tugging hard on Skaun's arm and he looked down at her with such intensity that butterflies attacked her stomach in droves and she leaned back. But she forced herself to say it again, "Okay."

He stared at her. "Oh-kayh?"

Madeleine swallowed. Goddammit, she'd been speaking her own language! She switched to his. "I'm willing. If it will...I mean...yes. How about yes?"

"Yes," he repeated, even his own words not sinking in.

"Yes!" she blurted in his face, feeling her own flush blazing hot with embarrassment. He needed her to spell it out; wasn't that just like a Vulcan! "I am willing to mate with you, Skaun, if it will help your neurochemical imbalance! Your Pon Farr! Understand?"

He stood perfectly still for the next moment, and for that instant she thought she'd just made the biggest fool of herself. He was going to tell her that it would not help mating with a human, that it wasn't good enough. He'd never actually asked her to help him, had he? He was going to reject her offer now and die anyway and she'd done all that soul-searching for nothing...!

Then Skaun moved. What she witnessed was like steel cables snapping under three hundred tons of pressure.

The Vulcan snatched her up off the ground before she had a chance even to gasp and she felt one arm like a metal band around her waist and the hand of the other supporting her rear end. She instinctively clung to him, arms around his shoulders and her legs wrapping around his waist as the Vulcan began climbing to a higher point from where they started. She could feel his muscles bunching and straining to carry them both upward, and the rate of his heartbeat pounding in his chest against hers frightened her. Was it about to explode?

Skaun chose a place that afforded them some protection from wind and dust and visibility under the moon. With vertical rock on three sides, there was also a small overhang that offered a partial ceiling while still able to see the stars. Some of the finer dirt had collected in that pocket and been compacted so it wasn't naked stone, even if it could never be deemed "soft." Still, it almost seemed cozy for a place way out here; just big enough for the two of them.

In sheer defense, her mind kept her attention firmly on things other than what was coming; she wondered if he'd been here before in his past treks, or if he'd seen it just now from afar? Was his sight that good or had he rested here before?

Hey, it was better than bolting and breaking her neck in a fall.

Skaun lowered to his knees still holding her, so that not only was she sitting in his lap but his erection was again pressing into her, this time between her thighs. She felt his hand rub and squeeze at her backside as his breath shook and she found herself staring at him in wide-eyed astonishment as he fondled her. His face hadn't broken its mold too much, he was still struggling against the violence, but the intensity of his eyes even in dim light was more emotion than she'd ever seen on any Vulcan before.

Now it made a lot more sense, what she'd been told about avoiding a casual "mind meld" with a Vulcan. They didn't lack emotions as many other races assumed; they suppressed them. There really were powerful feelings beneath the surface, and a telepathic bond could be painful to the unprepared. She truly was seeing something not meant for outsiders.

He reached one hand up, working at the buckle holding her helmet in place; she helped him get that off, dropping it into the dust beside them, enjoying the cooler air move through her matted hair. She shrugged her small pack off her back to set next to the helmet, and looped the two canteens over her head to join them.

Then Skaun unbuckled her respirator and she started to protest as he removed it before he covered her mouth in a kiss.

She held still, not at all sure how to kiss back at first, noting his lips were drier than hers but just as hot, maybe more so. Odd; the average internal temperature of Vulcans was a good six or seven degrees cooler than humans, she knew that much.

"Blood fever," indeed...

Skaun didn't try to thrust his tongue into her mouth as she half-expected; he kissed her as if tasting her lips, then took another taste, then sampled another, and another, as if he could not be satisfied with a few.

Madeleine couldn't deny that it made her feel good, really and truly desired. She put it out of her mind that Skaun was following a biological imperative and grew to enjoy his kisses; it was mostly lips, with only tiny flicks of tongue. It was nice. She didn't even get the urge to cough. He was still gripping and fondling her ass but spent long minutes just kissing her.

Madeleine was wearing a sweat-wick shirt with a built-in support bra topped by a light flight jacket that buttoned in the front. Skaun was wearing a plain brown, long-sleeved shirt that probably had to be pulled over his head. Offering a hint of a direction, she started unbuttoning her jacket, getting partly stuck as she tried to shrug out of it and urging Skaun to help. He did, and soon the jacket plopped on the ground half-covering her helmet.

Next she was tugging upward on his shirt, exposing a lean, toned stomach that was overall paler than her own soft brown belly. Again the Vulcan silently answered by helping; he shrugged out of his larger pack at last, but his arms were too long so Madeleine couldn't take the shirt off all the way. He finished it for her and tossed it to the side as she held on to his torso.

Skaun possessed a very long ribcage; she could tell it had a few more ribs than hers, and it expanded a lot more, the timbre of a breath lower as greater volume drew air in deep. She also noticed his chest was hairless, though she couldn't tell the exact color of his nipples in this light but they looked...darker, like they were bruised, not pale or pink despite the light color of his skin.

Her stomach fluttered again as Skaun started tugging her own shirt up; she coughed once and then slowed her breath, closing her eyes and lifting her arms up while her thighs squeezed harder to stay in his lap. One of Skaun's arms supported her back as the other pulled up on her shirt, the hardest part being the need to peel the built-in bra up and over the large swell of her breasts.

She felt her cheeks flush and her nipples tighten as generous flesh spilled out, exposed to the night air and his hands. The Vulcan didn't start mauling them (again, as she sort of expected; everyone else had), but stroked each one and gave a squeeze before pulling her into an embrace that mashed them almost flat to his chest. Again she could feel his heart beating and lost count before ten seconds was up; it was beating at least double that of hers....and she thought hers was tripping along at a good rate!

"Madeleine, I need—" Skaun began in a croak, one hand going again to her ass and reaching farther beneath her.

She jumped a little in his lap when his long fingers easily reached her crotch, stroking through her pants.

"How...do I know you are ready?"

"Uh—" she started in brilliant eloquence. His fingers felt pretty nice...and her pussy was sensitive as he touched it, probably ready to go; the kisses had done wonders. It also made her feel better that he didn't know that for sure; he was just as uncertain about their different biology and mating rituals as she was. "Well...will it be only one time?"

"Not...likely." The tone was guarded.

"So we could go slower the next time?"

He answered after a pause. "Yes."

"Then I am ready."

The Vulcan took her at her word, though to his credit he didn't shove her off his lap; he lifted her off and set her with her rear on the ground. His eyes swept from her zipper down her tear-resistant trousers to her incredibly well-laced boots that would take a lot of time, dexterity, and concentration to remove, then finally around at the space available within the little cove.

"On your knees like me," he said, "but facing away."

Thinking she had followed his train of thought, Madeleine rolled to one side and got up on all fours, shirtless with her breasts hanging down, presenting her ass to him. She held perfectly still as his long-fingered hands reached around, unbuckled her belt and began to open her pants.

*Oh my God...* was all she could think right then. She was really going to do this. She experienced a breath-taking thrill when Skaun pulled both her pants and panties down to her knees in one gesture. Somehow she was aware of every inch as it was exposed, and she felt genuine moisture between her legs as it cooled in the night air. The Vulcan tested that moisture with his finger but didn't linger before she heard him unfastening his own pants. It must have been satisfactory, though now she did kind of wonder what amount of moisture he considered "normal" for a ready female?

That thought flew from her mind the next instant as his hands took hold of her hips. She looked over her shoulder at him, but too late to see his genitalia, and in the deep shadow she wasn't sure she would have made out much out anyway.

Her breath stopped when she felt him nudging and probing at her. It did feel familiar; it wasn't some crazy hook or corkscrew shape or anything, which was a relief, but Skaun himself seemed unsure of the angle for the first couple tries. She tilted her hips up, arching her back as much as she could, trying to help though their differing heights didn't make it easy.

"There," she breathed when he got it wedged in the right place, bracing herself. "Push."

That he did. He plunged all the way in with one thrust, and Madeleine gasped loudly as her body stretched quickly to accommodate him. It was such a shock that it almost hurt; it had been almost a year for her since her last time, and this had been none too slow of a re-introduction.

She half-expected Skaun to stop and ask if she was alright, or maybe apologize for the discomfort, but he didn't. He withdrew and thrust in again and her mouth opened in a silent moan as he quickly fell into a hard and eager rhythm, practically plundering her pussy in an urgency that was overwhelming.

He leaned over her back and crossed one long arm beneath her, across her chest and holding to her opposite shoulder. The other hand stroked her flank and belly and cupped her breasts from time to time. She could feel his heart against her back, heard his gasps near her ear as his chin rested on her shoulder.

In an image she'd never before been able to imagine for the Vulcans, Skaun had mounted her, covering her back like an animal, and he clung to her as he worked a desperate pace inside her. She had to brace her arms as a bit more of his weight transferred itself to her.

The evidence of crumbled control thrilled her more deeply than she would have expected; it was easy to believe that she was encouraging him, allowing him to indulge and finally express this pent-up lust after seven years. She felt beautiful and very desirable; the slick clutch of her sex around the Vulcan's piston became the center of her pleasure and she groaned as his hips slapped against her haunches.

God, this was...exciting.

"Skaun," she gasped, taking thrust after thrust, finally willing to get lost in the moment. "Yes..."

"Yes..." he repeated breathlessly, stroking even more quickly in response to her voice. Air passed more raggedly between his lips and his grip on her breast began to tighten.

"Are you close?"

He didn't answer, she wasn't sure that he could right then, but he was trembling and she felt the tension rising.

"Are you going to ejaculate inside me?" she asked, again not really expecting an answer. She just liked saying it, using the only word she'd heard Vulcans use for cumming: the medical one.

She actually got a small groan in response this time.

"Ejaculate inside me, Skaun," she encouraged. "Do it."

The Vulcan choked on an inhale and his arms tightened even more around her as he mashed his hips against her plush buttocks, pressing in as far as he possibly could and holding still.

That was when she felt the most extraordinary thing in her sexual life.

She couldn't even be sure how to explain it; she knew he was cumming and the thought absolutely thrilled her, but the way his penis was moving inside her defied description. Instead of the occasional throb or pulse, there was a flexing of his member that almost felt like...waves running along her birth canal, massaging her on the inside. It was as if the involuntary muscle constriction seemed...deliberate? No, no, that wasn't possible, but it certainly was much slower than the rapid-fire squirts she was used to with human men.