Call Me Pandora

In the course of my little journey of self discovery I started putting aside those magazines and videos that I wanted to keep. The others I put in a cardboard box beside the wooden chest.

I called Denise three days before the party and told her I'd be there.

"Are you sure?" She asked. "I want you to understand that you don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

"I know," I said.

"The ladies are in control at these parties and if the guys can't take no for an answer they're shown the door and aren't invited back."

"Yes, I understand," I said.

"Okay honey, we'll be expecting you. I think you'll enjoy yourself."

"I think so too," I said. We both laughed. My laugh was a little breathless.

I then had three days in which to experience every shade of rising anxiety. I lost count of the number of times I resolved to call Denise and tell her I'd changed my mind only to stop myself once my hand had touched the phone. It became a matter of pride for me to follow through. But by the time Saturday afternoon arrived I was a quivering mass of tingling nerves. I couldn't remember ever being so scared.

And of course there was the trauma of trying to decide what to wear to an orgy. Someone needs to write a book about these things. I settled on my filmiest Victoria's Secret lingerie, a black silk blouse, and my nicest pair of jeans. I considered dressing up more but that's not really my style. They'll have to take me as I am, I told myself. I hoped they would.

At last it was time to leave. I talked to myself the entire time I was driving, dredging up every crumb of reassurance I could think of. I didn't succeed in calming my jitters but I did manage to get there.

Denise answered the door in a multicolored robe and quite obviously little, if anything, else. I was very conscious of the unsupported swing of her breasts as she ushered me inside.

"Everyone's in the backyard," she said. "Not that many. It takes a little while for these parties to get revved up." She shot me a quick speculative look. "You okay?"

I smiled uneasily. "I'm here," I said.

"Oh baby," she said, hugging me to her soft breasts, "I forget how difficult this can be. I've been doing it so long. Just remember that if something makes you uncomfortable you just say so."

"Okay," I said.

She took my hand and led me through the house out onto the patio. The first thing that caught my attention was Robert; he didn't have any clothes on. He was standing in front of a large table which contained a wide variety of food items and beverages. He raised his hand in greeting and then went back to pouring a drink.

In an effort not to stare at Robert I turned my head to the right. Two men and a woman were sitting at one of the small tables. One of the men shocked me almost as much as Robert.

"Hello Uncle Earl," I said. He waved and smiled.

The doorbell rang. "I've got to get back to my hostess duties," Denise said.

"Would you like something to drink?" Robert asked. I settled on a glass of white wine and we both walked over to the table to join the others. "This is Alan and his friend Johanna," Robert said, gesturing toward the younger couple. "You know the other guy."

"Is Esther really your niece?" Johanna asked. She seemed a little shocked.

Uncle Earl and I laughed and then he explained the situation.

Denise guided two more couples out the back door. One was my age and the other much younger. "This is Tom and Linda and Dwight and Rose," she said, primarily for my benefit since everyone else seemed to know them.

Apart from the fact that Robert was naked it seemed like a regular party in a middle class neighborhood. Everyone was chatting about the usual subjects with plates balanced in their laps or set on the table in front of them. The subject of sex may have come up a bit more than usual but not as much as I thought it would. The truth is I'd expected everyone to tear their clothes off and get down to it with unbridled lust. I felt a little disappointed.

As the afternoon faded into evening I began to realize that people were disappearing. This made me curious but I didn't have the courage to investigate. Finally, however, my bladder made the decision for me. On the way to the bathroom I walked past an open door and saw the flash of naked bodies moving on a bed. And heard soft moans. I sat on the toilet long after I was empty replaying that brief glimpse in my mind. I was shaking. When I left the bathroom I hurried past the open door without looking inside.

"Esther?" A male voice called out to me. I stopped, turned around, and edged up to the doorway. "It's okay." It was Dwight, sitting naked on the end of the bed. Alan and Rose were moving together with missionary zeal. "They like to be watched, at least I know Rose does," he said.

"Me too," Alan said without turning around.

Dwight reached out his left hand. His right hand was busy playing with his hard cock. I hesitantly walked into the room and took his hand. He pulled me closer and then wrapped his arm around my bottom. "Looks hot, doesn't it?" He said. I had to admit it did.

My brain was going through some gyrations due to the difference in our ages. I found him attractive but his being so much younger put me off. Still I couldn't stop myself from making surreptitious glances at his body and his cock.

"Why don't you get more comfortable?" He said.

I froze for a couple of long minutes but he didn't say anything further. He only held me as we watched Alan and Rose. What I found most arousing was the sound of Rose's moans and sighs. And then, taking a deep breath, I began to unbutton my blouse.

Once he realized I was undressing he turned his attention to helping me. I was acutely conscious that my lived in, slightly pudgy, middle-aged body was about to be revealed. All too soon my blouse was off. Gritting my teeth I unhooked my bra and dropped it on the floor. Without hesitation his mouth closed around one nipple while he massaged my other breast with his hand. I cupped my hand around his head, feeling his hair under my palm, and pulled him against me. He was making little moaning sounds of appreciation.

"Let's get these off," he said, tugging at my belt. A moment later I was completely naked. He guided me with his hands until I was lying on my back with my legs over the edge of the bed. He spread me open and knelt between my knees. "Oh yeah," he said, looking at me down there.

"Oh God!" Rose said. "I'm coming."

I turned my head and realized I had a close up view of her pussy being filled with Alan's cock. I absorbed every detail with rapt fascination. Dwight's tongue began to flicker up and down my inner lips. He knew what he was doing.

"That's it, that's it," she said. She was gripping Alan's butt cheeks in each of her hands, pulling him into her. "Oh God yes!" She shuddered and cried out.

To my amazement I found that I too was close to coming. "Oh," I said. "Oh my God." Dwight's tongue went hyperactive, pushing me to the brink. Then I felt his fingers slide inside, seeking out my g-spot. "Oh, oh yes," I said as I came.

Dwight stood up and then his body covered mine as he entered me. I ran my hands over his hard, nearly hairless, chest. Then we were kissing.

"Puppy pile!" A male voice called out.

I was dimly aware of Denise and Uncle Earl approaching the bed. Both of them naked. Uncle Earl was sporting a hardon. Two other couples came in behind them.

"How are you doing baby?" Denise said, bending down to touch my breast, her own breasts swinging. "You seem to be having a good time."

"Oh yeah," I said. I caught one of her breasts in my hand. Dwight was licking her other nipple.

Denise squatted a little and I realized that Uncle Earl's fingers were deep in her cunt. "Oh yeah baby," she said. I knew she was talking to Uncle Earl. Then he was fucking her, gripping her hips to aid his thrusting. I could hear the soft slap of their bodies coming together.

The bed bounced as the other two couples found places. A woman with long black hair was astride a tall skinny guy. I had a clear view of his cock sliding inside her. The other woman was lying with her legs spread and the face of the man was buried deep in her crotch. She was moaning softly as she clutched his hair.

Denise bent over and kissed me, moving slightly as Uncle Earl fucked her. I'd never thought of myself as being bi but this felt natural. Our tongues tangled as she tweaked one of my nipples. At the same time Dwight was sliding in and out of me. The bed was shaking. The air was filled with moans and sighs of pleasure. Every now and then someone would obviously have an orgasm. I came two more times.

"Well that was fun," Uncle Earl said. We were all sitting around the large living room. Most of us were still naked. Robert and Johanna were quietly fucking in front of the fireplace. We all watched them.

"I love it when that happens," Alan said. "Everybody in one big pile." He was sitting across the room with his arm around Rose. Dwight was sitting next to me. Rose nodded, smiling.

"So, what did you think of your first orgy?" Denise said, turning to me.

"I liked it," I said. "But it's not quite what I expected."

"How so?" Rose asked.

"I don't know how to explain it exactly," I said. "I mean it turned me on to see everybody but it wasn't like this big sexual thing. I'm not saying this very well."

"I think I know what you mean," Johanna said. Robert continued fucking her. "When Alan brought me here the first time I was expecting this constant hot lust. Everybody fucking non-stop. But it's more like a warm glow. It's a lot more relaxed than I thought it would be."

"Yeah," I said. "That's pretty much it."

"Oh. Robert." Johanna said. It was obvious to everyone when she came.

"Hmmmmm," Denise said with a smile.

By the time I got home in the early hours of the morning I knew my life had been irrevocably changed. A multitude of images shifted constantly through my mind and left me with a hunger for more. I was already looking forward to the next party.

But along with a deep sense of satisfaction there was a twinge of regret. I wished I wasn't alone. I couldn't help but long for someone to cuddle with, share all those images and sensations, and discuss the personalities of those involved.

So when Denise phoned me a couple of days later to say that Alan was interested in getting to know me better (she said this with an earthy chuckle) I told her to give him my number. He called a day later and we met for coffee.

"First of all I think you should know that I'm polyamorous," he said, shortly after we'd sat down.

"What?" I said. "Is that some kind of disease?"

"No," he said, laughing. "Essentially it means 'many loves'. What I'm trying to say is that if we decide to have a relationship there will also be other women in my life."

I looked at him. If I hadn't gone through the changes I'd experienced in the last few months I would have walked out.

"I don't know, Alan," I said, "let's just take it one step at a time. I'm willing to spend time with you and see if we can be friends. I can't promise anything beyond that."

"That sounds good to me," he said.

And that was how it started. We began getting together on a regular basis. Frequently Johanna joined us which took some getting used to but after awhile I looked forward to seeing her as much as I did him.

On the second anniversary of my mother's death, in a reflective mood, I lifted the lid of the old chest and looked in. Little of what I'd found in it originally remained. I'd begun replacing her treasures with my own. The only thing I'd kept of hers was a hard copy of her sexual autobiography.

Years from now, I thought, after I've filled it as full as my mother did, this will be my daughter's legacy. Will it change her life as completely as my mother's did mine?