Call Out Your Name Ch. 04bycliffgirl08©
I started hearing from the college scouts the next morning. Men angrily calling me from all over the country whining over why I had rejected the football scholarship their university offered and demanding to know who I'd signed my Letter of Intent with. There wasn't any sense in denying the truth; they could find out easily enough. When I told each of them that I'd changed my mind and was going to attend a local community college, they collectively denounced me as a fool who was wasting my talent. I sucked it up and made myself listen to their pleas to reconsider, followed by their insults when I refused. My most pressing concern was that one of them would contact one of my parents and get them on my case but I made it obvious this was my choice.
I was worn out with the bickering by the time Jesse came over later that afternoon. It was disheartening to listen to adults verbally abuse me, especially when remembering that those same men might be the ones I would have to convince to give me a chance in two years when I planned to transfer to a four-year school. I tried to put up a good front so I wouldn't upset my boyfriend, but he could tell I was distracted as we made love. I guess I got a little tearful as I was calming back down into our afterglow and hoped he wouldn't notice, but it's hard to ignore salt water dripping on your neck.
He pulled out from under me, handing me the soft towel we used to keep cum off the sheets so my dad would be less likely to discover we were fucking in my room. He flipped over on his back, still breathing hard. "What's wrong, Shane?" he asked, his face concerned and drawing me down on his shoulder to rest my head.
I told him about the phone calls. For a moment he didn't say anything but when he spoke the words sounded scratchy with doubt, and they weren't what I expected at all.
"Shane, are you sure this is what you want? To give up on all that money when you could be getting a fine university education and do what you love... play football... at the same time?"
"I'm sure," I said rebelliously, hurt that he kept questioning my decision and didn't automatically take my side out of loyalty. "In the long run this is best. Full scholarships never cover everything and I don't know how I would manage. I suppose I could get a grant except that I'm still listed as Whit's dependent so I look like I'm rolling in money. My parents would never cosign for a loan to pick up the tab for incidentals, and with football I probably couldn't even work part-time during the first semester.
"If I stay here I'll be saving two years worth of college fees the scholarship won't pay for. I can work over the summer, even get a second job if I need to. There will be that much more money in the bank to help me out the last two years of school. Believe me, I have thought of everything."
Jesse started to reply, and I felt my resolve falter. I couldn't take his discouragement and I broke down. "Jesse, please try to understand."
My throat felt clogged with emotion. "Of all the people I've discussed this with, you are the last one I thought I'd have to persuade. You're supposed to be on my side. I can't stand leaving you, okay? I need you. I know that makes me sound like a total wuss, but except for my aunt and uncle you are the only person who loves me. I just can't do it..."
I felt myself enfolded in his arms and consoled. "Alright. Alright, Blondie. I'm sorry for doubting you." He stroked my hair and thumbed the tears off my cheeks.
"God, I an be such an ass sometimes," he said, letting a mouthful of air balloon in his cheeks before blowing it out harshly. "I should be grateful that you're trying to plan for both our futures so we can stay together and I'm giving you bullshit. I'm sorry I didn't believe in you."
I calmed down and let his comfort wash over me, giving it right back to him because I hated seeing him loathe himself like that. "Just give me two years, and I will prove I made the right decision. I promise."
The next night Jesse and I went out to eat, driving into Goleta to check out a place called Habit that allegedly served some of the best hamburgers in the area. Parking was bad so we had to leave Jesse's Jeep across the street, but the food tasted great, it was inexpensive and there was lots of it.
We were sitting at a small table wedged in back and almost done with our meal when three girls our age passed us, probably on their way to the restroom. I think the only reason I noticed them was that one strongly reminded me the tiny cheerleader from Loara High I had dated when I was living in Rancho Martinez. Except that her hair was a red-brown, not blonde, and cut to her shoulders instead of mid-back, she could have been her sister. She caught my eye and grinned in invitation as she disappeared behind me, and I smiled back.
Jesse was watching me watch her, and I didn't think anything of it. I certainly wasn't flirting, just being friendly in my typical fashion. I heard the noisy chatter of the girls approaching our table, and this time they stopped. Olivia, the lookalike, and her friends, Mary and Kimber, were all seniors from Goleta High. I introduced myself and Jesse to them, and as we got to chatting I was surprised to find him scowling at the table. After his dark hello he refused to look at us.
We talked about local news, mostly in teasing comparisons of our high schools, but Jesse didn't join in. I subtly began to sense what was bugging him. The teens were putting out their best efforts to draw me in with their batting eyelashes, giggles and megawatt smiles. He thought I was attracted to one of them, and he didn't like them encroaching on what he thought was his. Jesse was jealous and insecure.
He is and forever will be the most important person in my life, and even giving him a second of mistrust killed me. We make fun of each other back and forth a hundred times a day but not in this way. It hurt him to think his boyfriend would try to hit on someone behind his back, or even right in front of him, and I was going to put this to rest immediately. As casually as I could, I covered his hand with mine and began rubbing my thumb in circles over his knuckles. The girls, seeing the gesture, smiled a little less brightly and presently excused themselves.
I tilted towards him and whispered in his ear, "You never, ever have to worry, Baby. I'm yours." He didn't look up at me but through his hair I could see how his beaming smile lifted his whole face.
We left with our usual destination in mind— my house where we could cuddle undisturbed which often led to some amazing intimacy. However, tonight my father's car was in the driveway. As much as I would have liked to relax with Jesse in front of our television and play Xbox games, there was no way I was going to introduce him to Dad. Even if we weren't lovers, he would suspect the worst and not only humiliate me but drive Jesse out of the house with his homophobic humor. That was precisely the kind of great dad he was.
Instead, Jesse and I went to the ballfield just as the Little League games were ending and parked on the empty t-ball side of the lot. We were both horny and frustrated but we patiently waited for the families to leave and the league officials to close up the snack bar and say goodnight to each other. They didn't even notice us.
Switching to the back seat, we made out for the next hour and sucked each other off twice. It was cramped and rather uncomfortable but so worth it. I loved the taste of Jesse's cum and his sweat, they way they mixed with his Cool Water musk to waft into my sinuses and push every other thought except my lover from my mind. I could play for hours with his dick in my mouth and drive him nearly insane with arousal, taking my own sweet time to satisfy.
After the second time I tucked Jesse neatly away in his jeans and checked the time on my cell phone, surprised to find it was only 10:30. I still had another hour before I was supposed to be in for the night, and neither of us wanted to leave yet. There was a small creek that ran behind the ballfield, feeding a copse of oak trees on either side of a narrow path. Jesse said it was a pretty walk and I was game. We slipped down the hill to find the moon shining through the branches leaving a lacy pattern on the ground that we could easily follow. We held hands crisscrossing the stream several times following the trail, and half an hour later it brought us out at the other end of the parking lot.
We strolled back across the asphalt, drawing up short to find a Sheriff's patrol car stopped behind Jesse's silver Cherokee and a deputy in the process of writing out a ticket. He straightened when we came nearer.
"Which one of you owns the Jeep?" he asked, all professional, formal and intimidating.
"I do." Jesse raised his hand, gulping, and even in the moonlight I could see him shivering. I grabbed his arm.
"Officer," I explained, taking note of his nametag that said 'Erickson'. "We weren't doing anything except taking a walk."
He gave me a skeptical look that made me feel as if he'd been close by for hours and watched us going down on each other. "Did either of you see the sign posted at the entrance that says the park closes at dusk?"
Exchanging glances, Jesse and I gulped nervously. I never paid much attention to stuff like that, and from his reaction, he hadn't noticed it any more than I had. We shook our heads and waited.
"You're just lucky that I saw you go down into the woods," the cop stated severely. "I could charge you with not only the trespassing but make a criminal mischief case too. We have a lot of problem with graffiti."
We stared at each other, and Jesse shivered in fear. I pulled him towards me, hoping the cop wasn't one of those prejudiced assholes, and linked my arm around his waist protectively.
Perhaps he took pity on us or didn't want to deal with the paperwork issues our arrest would cause him, but at this point he tried to look stern and failed. Barely concealing a smile, he closed his book with a sigh.
"See here, kids, this is a public park with posted hours of operation, and it closed three hours ago. There are certain... uh, activities... that are illegal in public. Even inside personal vehicles. Do you get my drift?"
"Yes, sir," we echoed. Mortified, I hid a gasp of distress that I had been right about the man. I couldn't look at Jesse but I knew his face was as hot and red as mine. Now we were both trembling.
"I'm going to let you off with a warning for now." Officer Erickson put his book in his pocket and moved towards his cruiser. "Get a room next time, boys."
We collapsed into each other's arms once he left, giggling in relief and embarrassment. "I'll bet he got an eyeful," I squeaked.
"You must have given him pointers on the right way to give a blowjob and he's rushing home to share them with his wife," he retorted. "He probably doesn't get nearly enough and that's why he had to watch us."
"Perv," I agreed. "Let's get out of here."
It seemed funny on the other side, but we were subdued on the ride to my house. Oh fuck, I could just imagine my father's face if I'd gotten arrested for public indecency for giving Jesse head in the backseat of his car. There would be no grace whatsoever, and we were both lucky the cop had been in a forgiving mood.
Jesse dropped me off at home with a quick kiss and another nervous giggle. All I wanted was to get inside and go to bed. But, as if the end of my day wasn't fucked up enough, Dad was waiting up for me.
"I thought I told you that your curfew was 10:30 on school nights," he growled.
"I don't have school," I replied in a sullen voice, wishing I was brave enough to speak my mind and let him have it over how neglected I felt. Had he been paying any kind of attention normal to most parents, he would have realized I was still on spring break. "Calberia High gives us two weeks off. I don't go back until Monday."
"Who is that boy you were with?"
So he had seen us in the Jeep. My mouth went dry wondering what he had spotted through the windows. "His name is Jesse Capps. He's a friend."
"Just a friend I hope for your sake, Shane."
"Yeah, that's all," I fibbed, trying to relax now that he obviously hadn't seen us kissing. "Don't worry."
"Good, because you know how I feel about you sleeping with all your little faggot boyfriends."
I glared at him mulishly and muttered curses under my breath, hurt by the way he assumed without any basis other than a wish to act ugly. Standing right in front of me, even he couldn't fail to observe my lips moving.
"I didn't catch that," he accused, his temper rising. "Do you want to try that again?"
Dad was in typical form tonight. Shown up for not taking the time to notice my school schedule, he had turned it around to try to start a fight with me. I was getting tired of his demeaning attitude because he obviously thought I was some kind of slut.
"Contrary to what you and Mom believe, I don't sleep with every boy I make friends with," I stated firmly. "It is possible for us bi guys to have platonic relationships just like you don't go groping every woman you meet."
His eyes snapped fire, and I nearly took a step back wondering if he was going to strike me. Instead, he pointed to the hall. "Get the fuck out of my sight and go to your room, Shane. One week's restriction for mouthing off. No television, no video games and no going out in the evenings."
I left without a word, knowing that Dad wouldn't bother to stay home and enforce it. He was such a joke if he thought I was going to do it myself.
On Saturday night I went to Jesse's house. His grandfather was attending some Vets reunion for those who had served in the same company in Vietnam. A few of his military buddies had dropped by that morning to pick him up and drive him to Los Angeles, and he would be gone until Tuesday. Jesse's mother, given four days off from his care, left to visit her aunt who now lived up in Susanville, and his sister was out with her own friends.
I had spent the day, like all my Saturdays, on the water with my uncle, the crew and his fishing charter. I picked up a pizza, and Jesse let me shower when I arrived, grateful to have the house to ourselves. Yeah, as expected, my dad hadn't been home one single night since I was 'grounded' to make sure I was taking my punishment. Screw him.
I was on my knees behind Jesse, gripping his hips so tightly the fingerprints would probably be visible for days. Taking him hard, I was making the headboard bounce against his bedroom wall, and he was verbally guiding my thrusts through his moans. "There, Blondie, right there... oh god, don't stop."
I had no intention of it. Sweat was dripping off my body onto his back as I reached underneath him to grasp his velvety shaft and jack it. He adjusted his stance to give me more room, and the change in angle was perfect. "Jesse, oh fuck, Jesse..."
There was no stopping my orgasm, and I threw back my head and roared as my hips drove into him unrestrained, my cum filling the condom. My hand slid up and down his cock three more times, and with a scream, he was twisting beneath me, spurting between my fingers.
We got cleaned up and were spooned together in afterglow, him planting little kisses on the back of my neck under my hair. "Hey, you know prom is coming up," he reminded me, running his tongue across a shoulder blade. "I want to take you."
I didn't even hesitate with my answer. Strolling into a very public high school dance with Jesse in this tiny burg would be the same thing as announcing I was dating him. I might as well pack my bags and move out of my father's house right now.
"We don't have to actually go to the dance together," he countered softly. "We could meet up and hang out. No dancing, you know, just to say we went to it."
I started to refuse again. "Just think about it, Shane." I nodded, if only to change the subject.
We returned to school the following Monday. I was waiting for Jesse after lunch to get his English book out of his locker when I heard him mutter, "Shit." Looking over his shoulder, I saw him pick up another stalker note from on top of his belongings. He unfolded it, and his gaze hardened in anger. I snatched it out of his hand.
'Like a thief in the night, fag.'
"This person is beginning to sound really dangerous," I warned through gritted teeth as I fixed Jesse with a glare. "How long are you going to wait before you give in and admit this is over our heads?"
"Jesse, he's saying that there's nothing you can do to stop him and it's a matter of time before someone beats you to a pulp. I don't know why you won't see the physical threat behind the words. You can't just ignore this and act like it's nothing."
"Okay," he said, trying to smile. I could see he was wavering, and that was a good thing. "I'll talk to my mother."
I swallowed and tried to be relieved. At least he was getting an adult involved.
As the daily announcements repeated every morning, the prom was scheduled for May 12. Jesse kept prodding me to make up my mind so we could buy tickets if we were going. He felt I was being obstinate and silly to worry about what others thought of me. However, my caution was never about the other students finding out I was bisexual or me being ashamed to claim Jesse as a boyfriend. Sure, there was a part of me that just wanted to keep my head down due to the threats he was getting, but mostly it was Dad's aloofness that made me hesitate.
Calberia was the kind of place where everyone knew what everyone else was doing. Small town values, small town gossip. All it would take was one student discussing the prom in front of a parent and my name popping up and linked with Jesse's, and the next thing I know somebody is informing Dad that his son is acting like a faggot and went to a school dance with another man. It was a headache I didn't need, especially after getting kicked out by my mother and my father threatening to do the same.
Jesse thought my fears were groundless... until I pointed out that he was just as afraid of his grandfather finding out he was gay as I was worried about my parent. However, all that did was circle back into the discussions over my football scholarship and how I had chosen to stay at home for another two years instead of moving out of Dad's house. I thought the sequence made a lot of sense... being careful and keeping my nose clean so I'd have a place to live until I could afford to move in with Jesse. He said I was allowing Dad to abuse me by submitting myself to his authority.
Making the decision had the effect of leading me to realize how tenuous my living situation was and decide I should probably do something about it. First thing up was talking to my uncle about getting more hours on the boats after school ended in June.
"So I was thinking," I told Carl that Saturday as we stood in the cabin of the Tammany Jo where he hovered over some fuel calculations for a client. "Even if you gave me just one more day a week, that's another twelve hours pay, and along with the weekend, it would be almost full-time work. If necessary I could get a job part-time in town or Santa Barbara to make up the difference. And in the fall I can plan my classes around work."
Carl's head whipped around to glance at me sharply. "What about college? I thought you had a scholarship all lined up with one of those big, fancy universities back east."
Shit. I had completely forgotten that nobody besides Jesse knew I wasn't going back east... or anywhere. "I turned it down. I'm going to Hope Ranch for two years first."
"You what?" The loud shout made me jump and silenced the crewmembers on deck. "What in the hell possessed you to turn down a football scholarship to stay here?"