Call Out Your Name Ch. 04

A thought obviously came to mind because I could see his expression shift, and his glower softened. "Did you do this because of Jesse?"

"Not because of him," I admitted quietly. "For him. I want to go to Hope Ranch for two years and play football. I can go to a university in my junior and senior years leaving enough time for Jesse to get his Associates Degree so he can move with me. It's ideal."

Carl threw me a look like I had my head in the clouds and was too immature to know what I wanted, and it made me angry. It seemed that nobody, not even my boyfriend, realized how long and hard I had thought about my decision, but my mind was made up. This was the only way to be together, the best of both worlds. We would obtain the instruction needed for our careers but we'd have each other for love and support too.

"Then answer me this," my uncle demanded, playing devil's advocate. "What if you and Jesse break up?" I started to interrupt, and he put his hand up. "No, let me finish. You're young, Shane. You think you know your mind now, but in a couple of years, it could all be different. Problems pop up that lead to major disagreements. People grow apart. If you two split, you will have wasted your opportunity for nothing."

"Not for nothing," I protested vehemently, and I had to check the anger blazing inside of me that he would even think of such a thing. "First of all, Jesse and I aren't going to split up. Ever. We have never had a fight. We don't even disagree most of the time. We love each other and want the same things. Second, no matter what, my plans wouldn't change. It doesn't mean I can't go to college somewhere else and play."

Carl regarded me silently, looking as though he wanted to make another comment and then changed his mind. Shaking his head in what was probably disappointment in me he said he would see if there were additional hours he could find for me over the summer. I nodded my thanks as I bolted out the door to finish my tasks before we sailed.

The new week rolled around and Jesse and I were back at school. Standing in the quad during our fifteen minute nutrition break on Tuesday morning, I noticed a tiny Asian woman in her early twenties looking around uncertainly. I knew she wasn't a teacher, and she was definitely too old to be a student. I nudged Jesse. "Who is that?"

He turned around and smiled. "Oh, that's Mi Kyong Park, Kwan's older sister. I'll bet he forgot his homework again. She always has to bring it to him."

Kwan was the kid in our English class who had first given me Jesse's name. He wasn't my favorite person in the world but was alright as far as most of the Calberia students went. My biggest strike against Kwan was that he was gay and had a crush on Jesse. I hated watching him giggle and flirt, assuming my boy was single and doing whatever he could think of to attract his attention. Jesse said he was harmless and it would be better to ignore his behavior than get angry, so I tried to let it go. Sometimes, however, it was difficult to overlook and I'd want to tell him that Jesse was mine and keep his poaching hands off him.

Jesse was hailing Mi Kyong and when she noticed him her eyes lit up. Sure enough, Kwan had forgotten his English assignment that was due in 5th period, and Jesse volunteered to give it to him.

As for me, I was paying more attention over the ease in which Mi Kyong was allowed to roam the campus, and I would bet she hadn't stopped at the office to check in either. Such a thing would never have happened at Sacred Heart or any of the other high schools I could think of. Security here in Calberia was very lax, and it highlighted how effortlessly a non-student could slip a threat through Jesse's locker door or tape it to his car.

As usual, we met after 6th period in the far parking lot, and the threats had been on my mind since seeing Kwan's older sister at school. "Hey, what did your mother say about the notes you're getting?"

"What?" he asked, looking perplexed. There was just enough ingenuity to what sounded like an innocent question to make me wonder.

"The notes you've been getting? Remember, you were going to speak to your mom. What did she say?"

He turned with shrugging shoulders to unlock his jeep, but not before I saw the abashed look on his face.

"You didn't tell her, did you," I sighed in exasperation. "Jesse, this is serious and I'm afraid..."

"I talked to her, Shane, honest." He was looking at me now, even right in the eyes. I remembered reading somewhere that liars couldn't maintain eye contact. So maybe this was the truth.

"What did she say?"

He shrugged again. "She's checking into it for me and said she'd let me know."

I was calculating. It had been eight days since the last note showed up, and if he spoke to his mother right away she had plenty of time to talk to a cop or someone at the school. But Jesse was giving me a look that said he wanted to drop the subject, and I didn't want to appear as if I didn't trust him. So I had to let it go.

Wednesday was the deadline for purchasing prom tickets. Jesse had been putting a lot of pressure on me to attend but I was dragging my feet. He almost had me convinced to do the 'just as friends' thing. He said he'd take me out for a romantic dinner in some little out-of-the-way spot, giving us less chance of running into a couple from school. Then we could put on the platonic act once we reached the small country club where the dance was held. But at the last minute my fear got the best of me and I walked away from the Finance window, my cash clutched tightly in my sweaty hand.

I met Jesse at my house after class ended, and even though he was smiling, I could see a trace of defeat and sadness beneath it. I was naturally dense and wracking my brain for what could be bothering him. It took me almost an hour... we were in the middle of playing Assassin's Creed 3... when I stumbled on the reason. Duh! I was the reason! Jesse was going to miss his senior prom and it was my fault. My selfishness and cowardice had held him back from attending a dance that he'd been looking forward to.

I cleared my throat nervously. "Uh, maybe they would let you buy a ticket tomorrow at school. They probably need the money. You could go by yourself if it means that much to you."

He turned his head and stared at me, dispirited. "Why would I want to do that? It isn't the event that's the important thing. It's the person I go with." He tried to shake the gloom off and gave me a genuine grin. "It will be okay, Shane. It's the weekend of our three-month anniversary so I know we'll spend it together."

Okay, that statement made me feel even worse. I sat watching him out of the corner of my eye for the longest time, amazed at how understanding he was and feeling like shit. I knew I had really fucked up. Yes, I was probably right about being able to buy tickets past the deadline. I knew it would be easy to convince one of the members of the student council to sell me two. But I was such a chicken-shit asshole.

For all the world I could not make myself buy a ticket. I could not make force myself to show up stag at the prom and pretend to be straight while girls asked me to dance. Making my classmates wonder when I turned every one of them down because the only person I wanted to take in my arms on the dance floor was someone I couldn't be seen in public with. I would worry how a classmate might somehow link me to Jesse for my father to learn about later.

I pulled Jesse to his feet and we went into my bedroom. I felt lousy, like I was the worst boyfriend in the world. My way of fixing it was sex, something I was accomplished at, where I could help Jesse feel good physically and let the emotional side catch up later. Even if it didn't resolve the issue, it helped.

Jesse passively let me undress him. As I worked his shirt up his torso my tongue followed, swirling around his navel and licking and kissing the firm, lean muscles in his abdomen. With his satiny skin and enticing scent that I never tired of, he was a banquet for my mouth to sample. My hands massaged his solid shoulders and long, golden back, distracting him temporarily before I zeroed in on his nipples. They were tasty, so taut and bumpy under the flat of my tongue, and he moaned, burying his fingers in my hair.

Lifting the shirt above his head, I trapped his hands in the cotton and went to work on his pits. He only had a cute tiny patch of wispy black hair in each but I bit and sucked one side, then the other, until they were soaked with my saliva and he was squirming and wheezing. My mouth moved to his shoulder, then across the collar bones to the other and took a detour to mark the hollow of his throat. His groans and shivers just tempted me further, and I ended with a trail of kisses down his torso to the top of his jeans.

I knelt once more to unfasten them. "Tell me what you want, Baby," I breathed, making quick work of the button and stroking his hard length with the heel of my hand. I could feel his heat through the denim.

"Shane, I... I want..."

I looked up into his flushed face. His black hair clung damply to his cheeks and his latte eyes were shadowed with desire. "You want..." I repeated. He swayed, and I grabbed his hip to steady him.

"Your mouth... on... on me," he begged.

"See, that wasn't so hard," I teased. "But this is." I gently squeezed his lovely dick trying to force its way out the fly and his moan was like music to me.

I slid the zipper down and worked my hands inside the waistband, hooking the edge of his bikini briefs with my thumbs. Carefully I lowered them both so his cock wouldn't get caught in the fabric, and he whimpered when they slid over his balls. I feasted my eyes on his straight, tawny cock, and the bell-shaped head glistened dusky-red in the dim light. Soon his jeans were pooled around his ankles.

I licked my lips and leaned forwards. Kissing the head of his dick, I slid my lips down to lock around the corona, washing the head with my tongue and sucking precum from the slit. "Fuck," Jesse gasped, tottering on his unsteady legs.

I pulled my mouth off his cock with a wet pop and stared up at him. "This is mine, Jesse." I licked the head, and more precum welled up for me to taste. "All mine, just like the rest of you."

"Yours," he panted with a decisive nod. "I promise... yours. Now will you get on with it? Please?"

I couldn't help laughing. "Ooh, you sound so pretty when you say please. I like that."

I swirled around the head again to make sure I got all of his salty precum and then trailed my tongue down the shaft to his nuts so I could suck on them. They felt solid in my mouth, rolling around in the soft, nearly hairless sac. Jesse was trembling against me, making little mewling sounds to show that he was really enjoying this and I hadn't even taken most of his six inches into my mouth yet.

Jesse seemed to be plenty conscious of this fact. "Oh god, Shane, please suck my dick. I need to cum in your mouth."

I hadn't been aware he was that close and I lovingly kissed the twin orbs before raising to slurp his shaft between my lips. Bobbing up and down on him, it was only a matter of seconds until I felt his cock thicken and his cum began to shoot across my tongue. Delicious, just like the rest of him. It took several swallows to drink it all down, all the while keeping an arm around his thighs so he wouldn't fall over. I didn't care that his sweat was soaking into my shirt or that he was squeezing my head like a vice, all that mattered was his pleasure.

I gazed up at him, his eyes closed and his heartbeat a gallop on the side of his throat. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. That was real good."

I was pensive holding Jesse close afterwards. I had stripped down and we were on my bed. He offered to give me a blowjob but I declined because this afternoon was for him. Matching my breathing to his I was trying to relax both of us but it wasn't working.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, pushing his hair off his forehead. "I'm such a coward, and you deserve so much better than me. I stress you out, and I don't give you what you need."

"No, Shane, that's not true," he protested. "The prom thing was... well, I understand how careful you have to be with your dad. And you're right; if somebody at school talked he might find out about me and it would ruin everything."

I tried to cut in and tell him that he shouldn't have to make allowances, but he drew a finger over my lips to silence me. "I know it's just for a little while longer," he urged, "until we start college and both of us are working. Then we can find a place of our own and we won't care who knows I'm your boyfriend. I can wait."

Tears came to my eyes, and I pulled Jesse in tighter. It was hard to put into words how important he was to me. The sneaking around and how we weren't free to be ourselves with the outside world was getting to me but I didn't know any other way.

"We'll get through it, Shane," he said soothingly. "Don't worry. I know we'll be fine."

With the knowledge of what Jesse had given up for me, I was determined to make the anniversary of our third month special. Maybe not special like sailing on the ocean in April or attending prom, but there were a few ideas I could come up with that didn't even cost money.

First, I was getting desperate to spend a whole night with my lover. Second, I wanted to give myself to Jesse.

I have only bottomed once in my life and that was three years ago. It was a horrible experience, and I won't go into the reasons why, but it put me off to decide I never wanted to try it again. But for Jesse I would if he was willing, and I was pretty sure he would be. He'd thrown out hints like, "you should feel this" often enough to make me think he wanted to switch at least once.

In my head I could see a glorious dream. My father at Jillian's overnight, and Jesse and me with free run of the house, allowed to sleep together at last. Cuddled up in my bed and giving us a foretaste of what living together would be like. Just a hint of a promise of our future.

Jesse was delighted when I suggested he ask his mother if he could come over. He never told her he wasn't attending the dance, and now it made a good excuse to dress up, seeing as how I was taking him out on the town for our own private evening. In fact, since the prom was nearly an all-night affair, his mom readily gave him permission to stay with me. He had some questions over how we'd hide his presence if my dad decided to stay home that night, but I told him to stop worrying and let us cross that bridge only if necessary.

I took the day off from work so I could get ready. Not that I needed to primp like a girl, but when you have thick hair down your back it takes a while to dry. This was going to be a special evening. When I picked Jesse up at 5:30 I was wearing a black suit over a blue shirt and darker tie, monkey attire that I hated... until now.

My mother bought it for me last summer when one of Whit's nieces got married in some mondo-bucks wedding that was in the high-society pages of the Orange County Register. My mother and step-dad had insisted on me dressing up so I would match the rest of the family in the photographs. Mom used one as a cover in the Christmas card she liked to send to all the friends and relatives boasting about her perfect life.

I could just imagine what was going in her annual holiday letter this year. 'My son is bisexual.' Not!

Jesse was similarly dressed, only his suit was gray and his shirt and tie were black. His mother thought we made a cute pair—don't question whether she was sensing our dating status or not because I wasn't about to ask—and insisted on taking our picture together. We smiled brightly, careful not to stand too close, and kept cracking each other up so that it took ten minutes just for her to snap one decent photo. We left right away.

"Awkward," Jesse giggled, blushing crimson. He turned around to stare out the back window as if he expected to be followed. "I wonder if she suspects."

I shrugged. "If so, she seemed cool with it so stop worrying."

I drove him to southern Santa Barbara, and we had a nice dinner at the Charter Grill, a steakhouse that Uncle Carl recommended. I went full out with an appetizer before he ordered prime rib and I decided on shrimp. Jesse had been acting a bit depressed when we first arrived, but by the time our main course was served he was smiling in contentment. This was our prom. Maybe not out with our classmates in some drafty country club with cutesy decorations, but a better date where we didn't have to pretend we were just friends.

Returning to my house, I had a bottle of pilfered champagne chilling in a pitcher full of ice that I'd stashed in my closet. I'd programmed a playlist of slow tunes into my iPod and rearranged my bedroom furniture so that there was a large open space in the middle of the floor.

"May I have this dance," I asked all formal-like, barely keeping a smile off my face.

"You're... just silly," Jesse grinned, but he gamely stood up and took my hand.

Past experience with formal dances has taught me that it's a great way to get into a girl's pants... uh, dress. I have taken former girlfriends to Homecoming and the prom. But holding Jesse in my arms and leading him in a slow dance with his chin tucked into my shoulder was bliss. Just amazing. He felt so right there, like our bodies were made to fit together. We didn't grind or do anything to make it sexual, we simply danced, and that hour was one of the most endearing memories of the night, so right and so innocent.

I had previously purchased two cupcakes from a bakery near my house, and in fun I smeared white frosting on Jesse's nose, leading him to retaliate and stripe my cheek with a finger-full. We drank champagne out of cheap plastic cups, and he laughed at the bubbles tickling his nose. Then he tackled me. We laughed until we cried.

It was nine, and there was no sign of my dad which was exactly what I expected. All night! I was getting all night with my lover, in a way that would last far beyond any photograph taken of us.

We were kissing in the dark, naked, the music turned down low and our clothes carefully folded and set aside. "Jesse," I whispered into his ear. "Would you make love to me?"

I felt him stiffen, and he gasped. "I... I don't know how." For all his prior comments, he seemed really worried.

"That's alright. I'll talk you through it. You just have to get me nice and loose and use a lot of lube."

Jesse bit his lip nervously. Enchanting. Finally he gave a tiny smile and nodded.

I straightened out on the bed and Jesse climbed over my body to straddle me. With a few quick passes of his lips, we indulged in a deep kiss that tasted of sugar and wine as his tongue entwined with mine and took my breath away. Soon he was dragging his mouth down my jaw to my neck where he nibbled a love bite and from there down to my nipples that hardened into pebbles under his insistent chewing.

Every time he bent over his hair fell into his eyes making him look so cute. Every move he made over my body smeared trails of luminescent precum from his thin, beautiful cock on my abs or hip. Little licks and kisses made me arch my back as goose bumps broke out across my torso, and I could feel my erection growing between my legs. Trapped under his butt, I began to thrust, and he pinched one nipple hard.

"Stop that," he ordered. "Lie still." I groaned but obeyed.

Farther down, he slid to sit on my thighs, running his fingers across the head of my dick and making me nearly come upright as a bolt of electricity sizzled up my spine. "God, Jesse, stop teasing," I snorted, but he refused to listen. He ran his fingers around my abdomen and thighs, following with his mouth, sucking, kissing and licking me. Most of the touches were light on my throbbing cock or across my scrotum and too feathery to do more than set me panting and straining for more.