Can I Love? Ch. 02

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Will he help her to love?
1.9k words
4.56
21.4k
3

Part 2 of the 9 part series

Updated 09/22/2022
Created 02/23/2007
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Here is the second part of my story.

I sat in awe, looking up into this handsome mans face. Those bright, mysterious eyes stared deeply at me. As I opened my mouth to talk, to ask why was he here? Why did he call himself my husband? He started talking before I had the opportunity to say anything.

"Before you ask, I had to come and see you. I had to check to see if you were ok. The only way they would let me see you were if they thought I was family. Immediate family is always in the records, and I didn't think husband was too far off what I could be to you." He smiled sheepishly, with a tint of redness reaching his tanned cheeks. "Now that's over and done with, hello."

I almost laughed at the situation. Someone had gone through all the effort to see me, to make me feel better. And most of all, it was someone I didn't really know. He even hinted about being my boyfriend. I couldn't believe it. A moment after the smile almost hit my lips, my guard rose up around me again. I built myself a 12ft wall, guarding me from everyone and anyone.

He must have seen the smile leave my face, my eyes dim as I faded out of the situation. He spoke softly, "hey, look I'm not going to hurt you. I really came here to see if everything was ok with you. I was worried. People were talking about a young, beautiful young lady that had..." He stopped talking instantly. I knew what he was going to say, 'the lady that lost her child'. Reality folded in, I had lost my child! Never was I going to see it walk, talk and play with the other children. It was gone, gone from my life. Tears filled my eyes as, again I mourned for my babies death. I kept my eyes fixed on the bed in front of me; I couldn't bring myself to look into those mysterious eyes.

I could feel the tears begin to flood my cheeks, and my body began to shudder as I sobbed. His hands came up and around me as he sat on the bed. He held me close to him, I could feel the roughness of his hands, but they were also gentle as they ran up and down my back. The opposite emotions were running through my body, the sadness and also the feeling of being held. As much as I desperately wanted to move away, I couldn't bring myself to. My arms came up around him, my wall was gone. I hugged him, drew him into me as I let myself go. I cried and cried. Nothing in the world was letting me stop crying, stopping the tears from streaming down my face. Nothing was letting me release this man, the first man who had ever held themselve in my embrace with passion. Never did I want this moment to end.

Finally, he pulled away from me and stared deep into my eyes. I thought to how red my eyes would look, my blotchy face. I pulled my hands up to cover my face. He tenderly touched my hand and brought it back down to my side. With his other hand he reached forward and touched my cheek, wiping away a tear that was beginning to fall. My tears had slowed, no longer crying for my baby, instead for the new sensation that was tugging at my heart. He leant forward, closing his eyes. My body froze at the thought at what might happen. His lips made contact with my cheek, then he stood up. Adjusted his jacket, said his goodbye and left.

I sat there for what seemed a lifetime, not that I had anywhere to go. I thought about the tenderness that he kissed me with. I felt disappointment. I wanted him to kiss my lips. I wanted to taste him, to feel those soft lips within my own, caressing and stroking them. I wanted to feel the unspoken passion between us in a kiss.

<>....<>

After I was sent away being fully recovered by the hospital, I didn't know what to do. Should I go back to my dad? Would he love me, would I love him? The way he had treated me, could I? I walked home, rather than getting a taxi. It would be an extra 20 minutes, but with the traffic, there wouldn't be much of a difference. As I was walking, my mind wandered back to the man that was Tom. What were my feelings towards him? The gap that was missing within me couldn't have been yearning for Tom. I had just lost a baby, never been loved. The attention was getting to me. I didn't love him, obviously, I didn't even know the guy, it was a hidden lust. I was saying all these things to myself to take my mind off those soft lips.

In the hospital, I would wake up feeling satisfied, there would be moistness between my legs and when I would think back to the dream Tom had been there, between my legs. Caressing me, making me feel things I had never felt for anyone.

As I reached my apartment, I thought about what I was going to do with my day. I needed a shower. As soon as I entered, I went round closing all the blinds, giving me some much needed privacy. I entered the bathroom half undressed, leaving bits of my outfit strewn all over the apartment. By the time I reached the shower there was nothing left on me. I untied my hair and stepped into the shower, turning it on and feeling the warmth of the water rushing past me. As I turned to soak my back, I noticed I had left the bathroom door open. I thought back to whether I had locked the front door, assuring myself I had, I continued to enjoy my shower. I made a grab for shower gel and started rubbing myself with it, trying to clean my self as best as I could. When I still didn't feel fully comfortable with my cleanliness, I made a grab for my foam back scrubber. As I caressed the soap up and down by back, I began to imagine that it was Tom's hands caressing and rubbing the soap through into my skin. The thought of Tom being so near got me feeling a hint of extra wetness between my thighs, this wasn't any water.

I slowly traced my finger down my slightly curved stomach, across the top of my pubic bush and down towards the inside of my thighs. Gone were the thoughts of the drunk, instead the longing for Tom's touch. With the door being open, I was more excited as the thought of someone walking in. As my finger went to penetrate between my legs, I stopped myself. I couldn't go through with the thought of pleasure coming from where that man caused me so much pain before. I finished my shower up quickly after that, feeling more aroused since I hadn't got the pleasure I so desperately needed.

As I left the shower, hair in a towel and a small towel round the rest of my body, leaving most of the length of my leg exposed, there was a knock on the door. A sudden thought to Tom being stood behind the door made me undo the towel on my head, and fluff my hair up slightly. I opened the door and a wave of disappointment flooded through me. "Hello, you ok sis?"

"Hey, I see you discharged yourself. I went in to see you today and when I entered the stall, there was a handsome bloke stood in there asking if I knew where you were." She spoke in soft tones.

"Well, what did you tell him, is he coming over? Did he say if his name was Tom by any chance?" I asked before i got my hopes up too much.

"Yea, his names Tom, and he made me bring him over here now, so If I was you, I would put some clothes on now. His stare made me lose all my clothes and I have a thousand more on than you sis."

With that, I quickly hugged her, said my thanks and ushered her into the room, waiting for him to come round the corner. He turned the corner slowly, looking around and taking in his surroundings. When he spotted me, he walked straight over. As I went to talk, "Shut up" is all that was said, and it wasn't spoken by me. He came over, wrapped his arms around me, placed his hands on my back and placed a tentative kiss onto my lips. At first I made no movement just stood there, taking in the feel of his body pressed against mine. His mouth opened slightly and I felt the pressure of his tongue against my lips. As I opened my mouth, my tongue came out to meet his, and we stood there for a minute just caressing each other with our mouths.

"You two, get a room! I didn't come here to see you two necking it. Aren't you going to invite him in Sarah?"

As I looked up at him, he stared at me with those bright blue eyes. "I've been so worried about you. Why did you leave without telling anyone, the hospital wouldn't give me your details, how was I supposed to know where you had gone?"

"Erm, excuse me, I seem to remember you were the one that just got up and left me, we barely even know each other and your acting as if I'm your fiancée. Drop it Tom." I couldn't believe it, how could he be such a control freak. I barely even knew the guy. I wanted him to leave, but he was still gripping me tightly, both hands around my waist, not even looking as if he was going to let me go.

"Hey, look, I'm really sorry. It's just ... when I first saw you, I knew I wanted you. I knew it was love. I know this is fast, we don't even know each other, but I know more about you than you think. From the way you cried at the clinic first time, the way your eyes give the hurt away whenever I come too close, I know that you have been hurt in the past baby, but I want to make it right. I want the pain to go away for you. I want to help with things. I'm sorry for seeming like such a jerk, its just I want you." His eyes were full of intimacy while he stared at me.

After a few moments passed he handed me a piece of paper, he smiled, "You know just in case you lost it first time." With that he turned on his heel and walked down the corridor and then he was gone.

"Wow, some guy." I turned round so see my sister stood there, both hands on her heart, a glimmer of teardrops in her eyes.

"Oh, drop it Ellie. I've seen this guy three times in my life and he's admitting his undying love for me. Come off it." Although deep down, in the depths of my body, I felt what he was feeling.

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5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

I can't read anymore of this poor grammar! Stood instead of standing. Was instead of were. They are just a few!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
good effort..super1

YOU HAD A LOT OF GUTS WITH YOUR STORY. IT SOUNDED VERY PERSONAL TO ME. I WISH I HAD THE GUTS TO WRITE A STORY!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Very Nice, Indeed

Very nice, indeed! A very good story. And to NIGHTOW122 I'd like to point out this is a story of a rape victim. Victims of sexual assault, especially if they're young, wrestle with conflicting emotions regarding men. Anger & distrust are frequent amoung victims. Kaylacakes, you received a "Very Nice" from Daniellekitten. She's a great writer, so that's a great compliment. You should be proud.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Very nice

looking forward to chapter three.

Nightowl22Nightowl22about 17 years ago
She is responsive--no she isn't.

Good story but just a little short.. DK and SW are a bad influence, I see.. well, I hope she finds her way in love.. She's disappointed to see it's her sister at the door but then she's anxious for him to leave as soon as he gets there.. I don't think she's flighty but she needs more firm decisions.

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READ MORE OF THIS SERIES

Can I Love? Previous Part
Can I Love Series Info

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