Can't Fight Time Ch. 09

Hey Everyone!

This is one of my favorite chapters and I didn't really make any edits to it, thankfully. I hope you like it as much as I do!

***

Darkness. That was all Nina saw when she finally came back to herself: complete and total darkness. In the back of her mind, she could remember Uri walking her to a bedroom—her bedroom—and leaving her to deal with whatever she was going through.

Why'd he leave again?Nina racked her brain and an image of herself screaming at him, raging for peace and solitude sprang up. A self-deprecating laugh escaped her and was instantly consumed by the darkness. "Oh. That's why."

Fidgeting as a sudden need to move consumed her, Nina peered into the blackness, wondering about her next play. She was in the Underworld with Grim nowhere in sight and Uri claiming her as his. Weird didn't even begin to explain the events of the past few hours—days.

Closing her eyes, Nina took a deep breath. Her heartbeat was so slow that she wondered if the quiet little thumps were just her imagination. Concentrating, she could hear her mother's voice advising her: "Close your eyes and focus on one goal. Find it, and keep it close."

"One goal," Nina whispered, focusing on her breathing as she contemplated.

What do I want?It should have been a simple question, considering that Uri had told her she could have anything she wanted; just not more time.

I want my mother back.The thought came with a rush of sadness and tears. But with another slow intake of breath, Nina let it go; she let her pain and sadness over the murder of her mother ease out of her as she exhaled.My goal, what's my goal?

The answer curled around her ankles, up past her calves, between her thighs, over the curve of her belly, between the valley of her breasts, and up the column of her neck until she could finally breathe life into the words; "I want Grim."

As soon as the words were spoken aloud, given a life and a purpose, despite knowing that he would have let her die, despite knowing that there was no future for them, despite knowing that he might be the one to take her soul... Nina's mind was still made up.

She wasn't sure what drew her to him, what had inspired such emotion in those hours bent over a coffee table with the reaper. It wasn't just his looks, or even the way he smiled and flashed her a hint of dimple in his left cheek, it was everything about him. Yes, there was danger, exotic and foreign, but there was also peace, something she hadn't felt in so long Nina had almost forgotten what it felt like. He gave her that feeling back. He was a life raft in a tsunami, the eye of her storm.

Slowly opening her eyes, Nina noticed that the dark didn't seem so endless, so stygian; if anything, it seemed full of undiscovered possibilities, untraversed paths. It was the path Grim walked, the same one she'd follow.

Her joints popped and her muscles ached, but Nina still forced herself to get up and search blindly around the room for a light. It was high time she got out of the darkness.

But she never found the light; her hands closed around the smooth, cool metal of a doorknob instead. For a split second she paused, a million thoughts going through her mind as to the how and why of her decision, but she forced them out of her mind. She was dying, literally dying, and every second she agonized over whether it was right or wrong was another second wasted.

"I've made my decision." There was steadfast conviction in her tone, an assurance that no matter what came to pass, it was the road she would walk.

Nina gripped the knob tighter, and forced her wrist to turn. "There's going back."

***

Grim's power reached for Nina before he could corral it.Stop!He commanded himself as the woman in question turned a corner and strode purposefully towards him.She's not yours, remember?

"You have some crappy guards," Nina said matter-of-factly, her hips swaying slightly as she came closer to him. "You might want to hire some new people."

If he'd still been in his human form, Grim would have smiled at that. "Do you know who I—?"

"Mickey," Nina cut him off as her eyes peered into the black folds of his cloak.

Grim pulled the material closer to himself, needing to separate himself from her as much as possible. The woman was more dangerous for him than anyone; even the Castoff King seemed like a minor nuisance compared to Nina.

He didn't speak for a while, trying to remember why he insisted on standing there with her instead of turning and walking away. It hadn't just been his insane attraction to her that had deterred Grim, but her very humanity. It had been her humanity that had cemented his decision to let her go, no matter how much he wanted otherwise.

A rustle of fabric and a whisper of air through bones was the only indication that he was about to speak. "Can I help you with something, Ms. Strathmore? I assume you're not just here to reprimand me about my guards."

Grim watched her take a step closer to him, her eyes seeming to see past his black cloak and ivory bones to the man hidden inside. It made him feel caught, like an animal in a trap preparing to be taken. Never had he felt like anyone had power over him—even those who truly did have control over him had never made Grim feel base and naked, raw and wanting.

Nina stared at him for another long second, seeming to consider something before she shook her head and dismissed the idea. "What are you doing right now?"

Grim felt his power stir at the thought of spending more time with her, but he knew that he should tell her he was busy, that he had affairs to attend to, that any day now his fiancée would arrive... but he couldn't.

"I was just headed to my study."

Nina swung around to his side and linked arms with him. "Mind if I join you?"

Grim twitched, feeling a bit awkward with a human touching him in his reaper form. No one had ever done that, and for a second Grim worried that Nina would drop dead like in the films. But she just stared up at him, her smile mysterious and her eyes alight.

"You are a curiosity,Amica," Grim said before he could stop himself.

Recognition flared in her eyes before Nina lowered her lashes, hiding her gaze from him. Nina's voice lacked censure, and sounded like she was trying to suppress a laugh. "Are we just going to stand here and stare at each other, or are we going to go to your study?"

Grim turned away from her teasing smile and fire-streaked curls, needing to distract himself while they walked to his study. "How are you adjusting to the Bloodspurn Kingdom?"

Nina's soft breasts rubbed against the material of his cloak, and though he couldn't feel the sensation of them pressing into his arm, there was something to be said about her moving closer to him. She was so odd for a human. Strong, with an endless curiosity and intelligence that surprised even Grim. He wondered how much she actually knew, or if she was hiding secrets just like everyone else.

"Well, considering I've been here all of twelve or so hours, I'm doing pretty well." Nina's voice was steady; betraying none of the nerves Grim knew she had to be feeling. "I mean your mom's a bit—erm, rude. I like Uri; though sometimes, I feel like he's hiding something. But then again, aren't we all?"

Grim felt his power slide around Nina, bringing her closer to him, but he tried to rein it in.She's not mine,he told himself again, though he was starting to believe it less and less.

Maybe walking with her wasn't such a good idea.The last time I walked with her...Grim let the thought trail off as they turned a corner and arrived at his study. He nodded to the guards stationed on either side before he opened the door and ushered her through.

"Hello!" Nina chirped to the guards as she went through. Neither paid her much attention, except to glare briefly at her. Grim frowned as he followed her through and shut the doors, knowing he would have to talk to them later.

"I told you, you need new guards," she muttered as she went further into the room.

"Wow!" Nina breathed as she spun in a slow circle to look at all the books lining the walls of his study.

Grim followed her eyes as she cranked her head back to look all the way up. He knew the shelves reached several stories, but he'd never been awed by it. Perhaps he'd been around it too long to see the beauty anymore. That was the case with many things in his homeland lately.

"This is incredible! I mean, there's got to be more books her than the Library of Congress," Nina's eyes shifted to the various works of art around the study. "And the painting...?" her voice trailed off as she walked over to a portrait hanging over the fireplace mantel.

If Grim had had a heart, it would have constricted. It always pained him when he looked at that portrait: the beautiful woman with olive toned skin, summer green eyes, and midnight-black hair twisted in a complicated braid and thrown over one shoulder. Beautiful, ethereal, always poised with her legs tucked under a flowing crimson skirt, with her hands resting softly on her distended stomach.

"Who is she?" Nina asked softly, making Grim look away from the painting to her.

Nina was turned towards him, half her body facing the painting and half facing him. The fire wasn't burning, but with a flick of his power, flames leapt in the grate, cracking the kindling and warming the room. Still, Nina did not turn away from him.

Sighing softly, Grim glided over to her, sending his scythe to rest on his desk. He spoke when he was beside her, his tone was soft and filled with a mix of love and contempt.: "This is Ivona Bloodspurn, my birth mother."

Nina picked up on it. Her tone was soft and inquisitive, "Do you hate her?"

Always so curious, Amica,Grim thought fondly as he turned to her and gestured to one of the couches surrounding the fireplace. He watched her pause and look at him again like she was seeing through his facade, before she moved to a couch and sat.

"I never knew her," Grim replied as he followed Nina and took a seat next to her, keeping a good distance between him and temptation.

A frown marred Nina's brow before it cleared, and her face softened. "Because she was human, and died giving birth to you."

Grim drew deeper into the folds of his cloak, uncomfortable with the subject. Nina was far too observant for her own good, seeing more than most humans or reapers would see. It made her dangerous.

Feeling unsettled, Grim let his power leak out to saturate the room with his displeasure. She was a human, a frail and easily killable human with a lifespan like a second. She would be gone in the blink of an eye.

"Do not forget your place here, human," Grim's voice was a whistle of air through bones with an edge like a blade. "You may have Uriel's protection, but you are under my roof. Do not assume to ask me questions as if we are friends—we're not."

Fire sparked behind Nina's chocolate gaze before she leapt from the couch and went to stand in his face. "You are the most temperamental, egotistical man-child I have ever met! And here I thought you had a pretty good reason for not telling me who you were to begin with, Grim. But all you want to do is bitch and moan and keep everyone at arm's length because you don't want to even take the chance that someone might see the real you!"

Grim froze as her words sliced through the anger covering up the hurt he felt over his mother. "You know who I am."

***

Every single freaking time I get near anything touchy with him, he becomes the world's biggest asshole!Nina thought sourly as she looked into a skeleton's face and searched for Grim.

The minute he'd uttered the whole "curiosity" thing, she'd known it was him. And before that, when he'd called her "Amica," she'd had an inkling. Though why the man was looking like the stereotypical image of Death instead of the gorgeous, dark haired, silver-skinned man she knew, confused her.

"I guessed when you started calling me 'Amica.'" Nina leaned back as a weird fog started to spread over his body. "What the hell is—?"

"You knew!" Grim's voice blasted at her, no longer sounding like a weird whistle, but more like its usual deep timbre with that slight accent.

And then the fog cleared away, and Grim was suddenly standing before her in faded black jeans and a tight gray t-shirt, looking stunned and furious. Seeing him like that, like a relaxed college student instead of a terrifying skeleton, did something to Nina.

It reminded her of the promise she'd made to herself.

"Yes," she answered softly. "I knew."

Grim stared at her for a long moment, an unreadable expression on his face. There was something holding him back, something that Nina didn't know if she'd ever be able to break through.Is it going to be like the last time?The thought flitted through Nina's head, leaving her with a feeling of dread.

Swallowing down her emotions, she was ready to apologize and find a way to at least be his friend. Maybe then she could help him work through whatever he was going through. "Grim, I—"

Her words were captured by his lips and tongue, lost in his throat. Again that feeling of heat just before being frozen to death invaded her body, but the pain wasn't there. She wondered if it was because she was in the Underworld, her heart beating barely once a minute.

Nina's world didn't shatter from Grim's kiss, and she didn't lose her inhibitions. If anything her world ignited and narrowed down to a soul-deep need to know Grim. They weren't just kissing, they were binding, coming together to feel each other, explore each other, know each other.

"We can't do this. You're human," Grim whispered against her lips as he drew her closer, tilting her body back and sliding his tongue against her teeth, her lips, and her tongue.

Through the fog of desire clouding her brain, Grim's words registered. Memories of another time he'd called her a human like it was a bad thing flittered through her mind. Human, Nina thought about it, what the term signified and the power it had over Grim.

His mother was human, and she died.

Wrenching her mouth away from his, even as it pained her to do so, Nina pushed him away. "Stop!"

Grim stumbled before he fell back onto the sofa, looking dazed and confused. "What?"

Nina drew in a deep breath, the smell of rich soil and icy cold tightening her nipples and making her sex clench. She wanted him; there was no doubt of that. But it came down simply to the fact that if they continued he'd hate her and himself. As soon as they crossed that line from friends to lovers, he would feel like he'd killed her.

"I can't continue if you can't let go of your past, Grim." She shook her head to clear away the fog of desire.

Grim's face shadowed and shuttered, his earlier anger returning to him, but Nina wouldn't let it. She wouldn't let him push his pain and hurt and guilt aside because he didn't want to deal with it. Nina spoke as she moved and straddled his waist, keeping him pinned down and looking into her eyes. "No, I need you to face this."

Grim tried to look away, tried to regain his anger and let it fuel him, ignite him. Nina could feel his power around them, crackling the air. She'd felt the same hum of energy from Uri, but Grim seemed to have far more power, and Nina wondered why she hadn't sensed it before.

"You don't know a damn thing," Grim growled. His hands moved to grip her hips and his nails dug into her flesh.

"I know that you feel guilty over your mother's death." Her hands moved to grip his head, her eyes boring into his soul. "I know that you think by having sex with me you're going to somehow kill me. I know that every time you say 'human', what you really want to say is 'mother'."

The sofa hit her back, as Grim flipped her and crouched over her body. "You don't know anything! I killed her; I murdered my own mother!" he raged, shaking her hard.

Nina leaned up, captured his lips and forced him to kiss her, to want her. Anger gave way to passion as Grim tore at Nina's blouse and devoured her mouth until he tasted blood.

His tongue struck hers, hands sliding roughly up her body to her breasts. Nina let him claim her, let him take what he needed, ever aware of the tears wetting his face. She knew he needed to work through it, and if sex was the only way for him to do that, then... she'd just have suffer through it.

Grim's mouth pulled away from hers and she gasped in a breath, needing the oxygen. But she couldn't stop; she needed him to expel the demons that festered inside of him.

"Tell me how you killed her, Grim. Tell me how you murdered your own mother. Tell me I don't know a thing about you."

His mouth closed, hard and insistent, around her peaked nipple, teeth tugging. It was both pleasure and pain. "Tell me!"

Cool air breezed across her naked breasts as Grim pulled back and buried his head in her stomach. He was panting against her, his tears soaking into her skin. "I—" his voice was pained.

Nina could feel the bite of his nails into her hips, the sting from her nipple, and her lips swollen and bruised. Every spot he'd touched felt raw, but not in an entirely unpleasant way. It was a way that reminded her she was still human. The slight pain reminding her that, despite her murderous father and her reaper beau, she was still herself, alive, breathing, feeling pain, and most certainly herself.

"You're so fragile, Nina," Grim's voice was so soft, so forlorn, that for a second Nina thought she'd imagined it.

But then he spoke again: "I feel like I could break you, and lose you forever."

Slowly the pressure against her hips decreased until it disappeared and a cooling breeze passed over all the spots he'd touched, healing them.His power.It was like being swept in by a wave and gently carried the feeling so sublime Nina would have thought she was in a dream.

Reaching her hands down to him, Nina pulled him up to her, hands splayed across his cheeks. "I'm not as fragile as you think, Grim."

The blue-diamonds of his irises were small, obstructed by the obsidian of his pupils. "I might be human, Grim, but that isn't a bad thing." Nina pulled his head closer until she could feel his lips on her newly healed ones, tentatively seeking her mouth. "I like that I'm human."

Grim's hands moved to the nape of her neck, his thumb rubbing in small circles as he leisurely kissed her mouth. There was no anger in the kiss, no bitter tears of regret for her humanity. It was just a simple kiss.

Slowly Grim pulled back, his lips clinging gently to her as he went. "I'm fucked up,Amica.I can't help it."

It was the first thing that sounded remotely like it was from this century, and Nina couldn't help but laugh; "You and me both."

Grim's smile was slightly strained as he kissed her lips again and then pulled back to lean his forehead against hers. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to let go of my past."

"Screw the past." Nina closed her eyes and leaned into him. "Live in the present—with me."

Grim held still, his body taut against Nina's, but she didn't stop. As much as she needed him, he needed her. They were both fucked up, their lives unfair from the beginning. "You didn't murder your mother; she gave her life to have you, Grim. It was love."

Power curled around her body, slipping under her thighs and back. Just like the first time, it felt like a thousand tongue strokes against every sensitive nerve ending. It was hard for Nina to focus with Grim taking her over completely, trying to drown out their conversation with sex.

But, she let it.

There was no more point to conversation; Nina had said all that she could. She didn't want to dwell on the past anymore, didn't want to think past that moment.