Ch. 06 Sharon and Me Pt. 02

Note:I want to apologize to those of you that wrote and asked why I haven't continued the chapters. Life has been crazy and has kept me from getting any real time to just sit and write. Now that life has calmed down a bit, I will try to continue as long as I find comments as nice as I've received.

Note: this chapter doesn't contain any sexual situations but as I explained in my bio, this is a true story with just names and places changed to protect so many. You have to remember that these events happened in a time before DADT. It was a scary time for many of us in the military.

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When I woke up, Sharon was nowhere in the room. I didn't know what happened or what I may have done to scare her away like that. Normally, I'm a light sleeper but I guess when you feel so comfortable with someone, like I did her, I slept soundly. I started to cry that maybe she didn't want to have anything to do with me. After about five minutes, I got up, washed my face and started getting ready for the day. I know I was out of it when I realized that I was putting on my makeup after putting my bra and panties on. Today was not the day to forget that I was supposed to be male all day. After changing back, I headed out to start the day. I stopped at the front desk to ask directions and was handed an envelope. I went out to the car to read it.

I opened the envelope to find a note in it from Sharon. She wrote that she was sorry for running out on me without an explanation. It also said not to worry my pretty little head about it and that she would find me later and so we could talk. That really got me wondering what was going on. I almost started crying again but held back the tears. Even though she told me not to worry, I had heard those words in the past just before the person dumped me. I started second guessing what I could have said or done to her that made her want to act that way. I told myself that I couldn't keep second guessing and that I had things that had to be done today to check in.

I started doing my in-processing. At noon, I stopped by the hospital to see if I could find her car but it wasn't there. My tummy started growling so even though I wasn't really hungry, I knew I had to eat something. I went over to the chow hall and had a light meal, all the time looking around in case she came in. After lunch, I went to the hospital to drop off my records and wondered around a bit to see if I could find her or her supervisor. No luck! I left and stopped off at the dorm to see when I might be getting a room. I was told that I would be spending at least two more nights in the TLQ. I returned to my room after stopping by the front desk to check for additional messages and to let them know I would be staying for at least a couple of more days.

The desk clerk told me that I might get lucky and would get off base housing because they were starting to rehab some of the dorms. She told me that my squadron dorms were one of the first to get the renovations. That lifted my spirits a bit thinking that I might get lucky living off base but I felt sad if I couldn't share a place with Sharon. I went to my room hoping that Sharon might be waiting for me. I lay down on my bed and started crying again. I fell asleep dreaming about how both wonderful and ugly my life had been so far. I realized that it was just the loneliness, with a side of depression that was talking. I woke up at 4 am, realized that Sharon wasn't there and started to cry again.

I finally drug my body out of bed and got in the shower. I let the warm water spill over me as I again tried to think what I may have done but couldn't think why. I did remember her reaction when I said that I loved her. I finished my shower and started getting ready for the day. This time I didn't make the same mistake of dressing in the wrong clothes. At least I was starting to get my mind back into where it should be.

I checked into my office and met my supervisor. He was a tall, Spanish guy that seemed to always have a smile on his face named TSgt. Sanchez. He had been in for over 18 years and was married with 4 girls and a son. The co-workers that I met that day seemed to welcome me. As one put it to me, "It's so nice to have the extra hands around". I also realized that there were only three males out of the 14 people in my office, the boss, myself and one other that was TDY for the next 2 ½ months. I was told that there were four people out TDY and that I might be the next on the list. In a way, I kind of looked forward to going. I really enjoyed going new places and meeting new people. I did however ask about the possibility of off base apartments. Sgt. Sanchez told me that if I did move down town that he would have someone check on the place while I was away. He was already doing it for the others.

I stopped by the hospital on my way back to the room and still didn't see Sharon's car. I drove back to my room and lay back on the bed thinking about my life. I dozed off and stayed asleep till morning. When I got up, my mind was clearer and I started to look in a more forward outlook than yesterday. I told myself that it happened and get over it. Until the day comes, where I finally find the right person to settle down with, I will just keep going.

After work, I got back to my room and still hadn't heard from Sharon. I started to resign myself to the fact that we enjoyed ourselves for the short time we were together but this girl needed to get back in the swing of things. After taking a quick shower, got dressed in my sexiest red undies and pulled on a pair of tight jeans and a loose fitting tee shirt. I took a few makeup items with me and a wig, just in case I found somewhere I could be myself. I left the base to get something to eat and check out the local sights.

I drove around town and then north on Dixie Highway. I stopped at a little bar that looked more like a dive than anything. Before going in, I put on a little makeup and got my wig in place. I figured that I was far enough away from the base that I wouldn't meet anyone I knew. When I got inside, I found it to be somewhat friendly place where the locals seem to hang out. It was decorated with quite a few military emblems and paraphernalia. The bartender was a retired Air Force sergeant who welcomed me when I sat up at the bar. He asked me if I was new around here and I told him how I had just moved here. I sipped my drink and he told me about all the different places to see and visit while I was stationed there. He also warned me about some of the other bars in the area that weren't too friendly especially for a pretty thing like me. I promised to stay clear of those and reminded myself that I needed to check the off-limits list when I got to work tomorrow.

After two drinks, I headed back before I got too drunk to drive. I almost screwed up before getting to the gate when I realized that I still had my wig and makeup on. I quickly found an all night restaurant, took off my wig and quickly ducked into the bathroom to get rid of my makeup. While I was there, Mary, one of the girls from the office saw me run into the bathroom. When I came out, she called me over and joked that I must have had to go real bad cause I went into the ladies room. I must have turned every shade of red possible as I stammered out that I didn't look at the signs.

I got a cup of coffee and we sat and talked about so many things, mostly about work. Mary told me about the boss and his rules and about some of our co-workers. I almost chocked on my coffee when she asked where I bought my bra from. I didn't realize that my tee shirt was loose enough that when I bent over you could see the straps and my breasts. Mary told me that I didn't have anything to worry about since she knew about a guy on base that dressed also. I asked her who he was but she said that she wouldn't say till she had a chance to talk with him about me. I mentally made a note to find this person.

She told me that she was a lesbian and that several of her friends stationed there were either gay or lesbian but dated so as to throw off the OSI. I understood that game and told her how long I've had to hide. I was informed that many of the gay folks on base had an unspoken pact that we would never reveal names or work places till we got to know each other. She giggled that she didn't think she had to worry about me since she saw my bra and boobies. We talked for almost three hours, mostly about me when we realized it was after midnight and we had to be at work at 7 am. Mary informed me that one of Sgt. Sanchez's pet peeves was being on time.

I gave her a big hug as we left the restaurant and told her I was so glad to find a friend so soon after getting to the base. She reminded me about being late so we both jumped into our respective cars and took off for the base. When I got to the room, I found a note on my door from Sharon asking that I call her in the morning. I got into the room and got ready for bed. I sat back and thought about all that had happened that day. I also thought about what Mary had told me about the pact and wondered just how many gays and lesbians there were stationed there. I was real anxious to meet the other transperson on base so we could compare notes so to speak. I drifted off into a deep sleep.

I woke with a start because I forgot to set my alarm. I realized that I would be late if I didn't get rushing. I quickly threw on my uniform and rushed out. When I got to the office, Sgt. Sanchez was at the door looking at his watch. I was only a minute late but he told me that he wouldn't put up with tardiness. He let me off with just a warning but said that it was my one and only chance. I found the desk I was assigned to be right next to Mary. She was giggling quietly saying "I told you so". I stuck my tongue out at her and told her that I forgot to set the alarm. She quietly whispered that I forgot something else; to make sure I got rid of my eye liner. She handed me a makeup removing towelette and I quickly went to the latrine to get rid of the evidence.

After coming out of the latrine, I found a phone in the hall and called Sharon. Another woman answered and then passed the phone to Sharon. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she wanted to meet me at a café about a half hour north of the base. She gave me directions and said that she would be there at 7 pm. I told her that I would meet her and she hung up. I almost broke down right there but collected myself and headed back to my office.

As the day progressed, Mary introduced me to most of my co-workers. They seemed to accept me warmly. I don't know how much Mary had talked to them about me but in a way it seemed that I was just one of the girls. Several times during the day, one or another would come over to the desk just to chat. One in particular, Bobbi, seemed to try to get personal information about me. After she left my desk, I looked at Mary who gave me small smile and wink. Almost to say Bobbi is OK and she's just checking me out. I remembered the statement last night where Mary told me that gays would check you out before identifying themselves. I got the sense that Bobbi was lesbian security (LOL!) that interrogated new people. Mary told me that she and Bobbi were going to dinner that night and I would be more than welcome to come. I told her that unfortunately I had something that needed to be done that night but really wanted to get to know everyone.

Mary asked what was important that night and I told her that I really had to meet someone because we needed to talk. She quietly asked if I minded her asking if it was male or female. I whispered back that it was a girl I met just before I checked into the base. I told her how I met this person at the motel I was staying at in Miami and had been with them for several days. I felt close enough to Mary to tell her that apparently I said or did something that must have upset this person and needed to talk to her tonight to see what it was that I did. Mary asked if I minded saying who she was and I told her just Sharon's first name. There was a strange look on Mary's face when I said the name. I asked if there was anything wrong and she just kind of said no.

At 4:30, as we were leaving, Mary told me where I could find her and Bobbi if I needed to talk after meeting Sharon. My fears started welling up that she knew more than she was letting on. I again put on a nice sexy set of lingerie under my loose street clothes and packed my makeup and wig in a bag. I left the base early enough to make sure I didn't get lost. I found the place fairly easily and went in to wait. It was a quiet place that in any other situation might have been very romantic. I asked and got a table off to the side hoping that it wouldn't be busy and we would have some privacy. About 15 minutes later, Sharon arrived. After she sat down, we ordered drinks and she told me that she couldn't stay very long. I guess she saw the sadness in my eyes. After bringing our drinks, Sharon asked the waiter, who she seemed to know, to please give us a bit of privacy and he agreed.

We just sat there for several minutes before I got the courage to ask Sharon what was going on. She just looked at me, with a look like she didn't know what to say. I finally asked her blunt and to the point questions. The first was exactly what was it that I had done to her. I saw her tear up a bit and she broke down and started talking. She told me that when we met she was more or less just blowing off steam from a fight she had with her girlfriend. She went on to explain that whenever they fought she would take off on do crazy things. She didn't really mean to hurt me but she knew she misled me when I told her that I loved her. I told her that I understood and it was my fault for being so stupid. I should have gotten to know her better before saying what I did.

I guess it was the tone in my voice that got to her because she turned cold and said that I shouldn't be such a bitch about it. I stayed quiet for a few minutes trying not to show my true feelings but in the end the tears started flowing. She told me that it was both our faults for what happened, Sharon for trying something that she had never experienced, sex with a transsexual and me for reading too much into what happened. She also told me how she just spent the last day and a half trying to patch things up with her girlfriend and it was the girlfriend that forced her to face me. I just looked at her and told her to thank the girlfriend for that. I also said that I would have hated to think that it was all my fault and never knowing what exactly it was that I did.

I wanted to get out of there fast so I downed my drink and stood up. That scared Sharon because she asked why I was leaving so quickly. I just looked at her and told her that I didn't think that there was anything more to talk about and that I might see her around the base. I knew I had to leave before the tears started flowing again. I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of knowing just how badly I was hurting. I heard her say quietly as I started walking away that she was so sorry. I just kept walking. I jumped into my car and pealed out of the parking lot. I saw Sharon in my mirror as she stood looking at my car speeding away. My mind was reeling. I thought about going back to the bar I was at the night before but didn't want any more trouble. I couldn't afford to get caught driving drunk cause I knew I would if I started drinking and it would be even worse the way I was dressed. I ended up just driving for hours.

I finally made it back to the base in enough time to get a quick shower, grab a cup of coffee and make it to work in time. Sgt Sanchez saw me come through the door at 20 after, and got a smirk on his face like he got the message across. As I sat down at my desk, Mary looked at me and said "You look like hell!" I told her that it was a rough night and that I was sorry but I just wasn't going to be too gabby today. She told me that I WAS going to dinner tonight with her. I really had to beg off and told her that I hadn't been to sleep since yesterday. She relented but said that I would be sitting down with her and telling me what happened. I told her I would tomorrow. We got to work and it was real quiet in the office most of the day. It was almost as if all the other girls knew something bad had happened and was going to allow me solicitude that day. I knew that Mary had sort of told them all to back off, especially Bobbi.

About 2 in the afternoon, Sgt Sanchez came over to my desk and said since I looked like hell and did work through lunch, I needed to go lay down. He also told me that he sensed that something had happened, since the other girls were so quiet. I don't know if he knew about me but the way he said "the other girls" told me that he was more perceptive than I gave him credit for. I thanked him and straightened up my desk. He told me that if I ever needed to talk, his door was always open. I again thanked him for his concern and told him I might just take his offer when I ready. He did something that took me by surprise, he hugged me. I saw Mary look me in the eyes as she smiled and nodded her head like it's OK he's like that with all of us. I later learned that he thought of all of the people in his office as his daughters and his one son (the guy that was TDY).

I headed back to the room and when I got there, I found an envelope on my door. I was afraid to open it in case it was from Sharon. I went in the room, tossed the note on the desk and after getting ready for bed, I cried myself to sleep. I just wanted to end it all.

(To be continued)