Chicago Love Story Ch. 04

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"Yeah right," Josh replied sardonically.

"What?" Mike said. "Get off your fuckin ass and claim what's yours. I saw the way she looked at you. All sweet and gooey-eyed. Jesus, how you were ever able to take your cock outta her is beyond me, man. Those eyes, that dark hair, her delicious curves-"

"Dude! Really! You think I don't know how hot she is?" Josh interrupted, settling back on Mike's couch and closing his eyes, thinking about her. He made the big mistake of turning around the corner this morning in the office to see Mr. Wall Street himself bent down kissing her forehead. He wanted to hurl. He knew full well now how she felt walking in on his moment with Molly. Lord....

"All I'm saying, man, is that her feelings for you couldn't have just evaporated overnight," he explained. "New York hasn't put a ring on her finger. Far from it. Just because they're playing house right now doesn't mean shit. I wouldn't back off so quick. I don't think you should, either."

Josh didn't say a word and simply soaked in what his friend had to say. He did have a history with Isabelle. Even before they were lovers, they had been friends. That spoke volumes. If he could just mend that with her, then perhaps she would be able to bring to the surface the feelings that she might still have for him. IF she'd even had them to begin with.

"If she hadn't felt strongly for you, man, she wouldn't have reacted the way she did in the first place. Think about it."

"Maybe you're right," he sighed as he drank yet another beer. It seemed to be his coping mechanism as of late. "I'll see what I can do."

"Why don't I just slip these off?" Isabelle said gently as she felt Jeff's hard cock inside his green boxers grow bigger with each caress she gave it. She felt him shiver as she flicked the most sensitive spot of him with her thumb.

"Oh, Christ, Bella," he shuddered. "Yes, take them off. And while you're at it, you should get naked, as well."

"With pleasure," she whispered. "Better yet, why don't you take them off?"

He laughed low and complied, then returned to his reclining position. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her mouth around his cock. It was like heaven.

It was later that she crawled up to kiss him and he placed her gently down on his swollen member. Their eyes were locked as she moved slowly. Their pace was calm and soft.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed as he caressed her breasts. Her hair hung loosely around her face, and her brown eyes searched his curiously. "What are you thinking, lovely?"

"Just thinking how good you feel," she uttered. Yes, his cock felt divine inside her dampened depths.

"Keep that pace, gorgeous," he directed her as she started to speed up a little. "I like it when I can savor your pussy. I like it slow."

"But, it feels good like this," she rebuked gently. "C'mon, baby. It's not all about you."

"C'mon, Bella," he moaned as she squeezed him a little extra hard that time. "Ugh, Lord. You naughty little tease." He couldn't deny her what she wanted, so that's what he gave her.

She laughed, but within seconds, she was moaning his name as he leaned back and pushed her down harder onto his cock. She squeezed him harder and felt her first orgasm rip through her like molten lava.

"Isabelle," he cried. "Baby, yes, keep fucking me. Harder."

"Jeff," she whimpered. "Oh baby, I'm going to cum again."

"Cum for me, baby," he whispered fiercely, grabbing her shoulders and pushing her up and down furiously. "I'll make you cum again and again on top of my cock."

They panted in a fury after it was all over. Their bodies still connected on her couch, he held her closely to his chest, caressing her hair.

"You're amazing, baby," he whispered.

"You, too," she whispered. Her body was satisfied. The sex she experienced with Jeff was one of the best sexual experiences she'd ever had. She was afraid to admit that he had touched her heart, and that her connection to him was beginning to feel more than just physical.

She'd once believed that you should only have sex with someone you love. That had changed right after she'd ended her five year relationship with her former fiance. Sex with him, at least during the happy times of their relationship, had been complete- heart, body, and mind. The men she had been with in her jaded state of mind had satisfied her more basic needs. No matter about her heart. It had still been on the mend. As she lay connected with Jeff, her head buried in the shell between his neck and his shoulder, she realized her heart was full of something... She thought briefly of Josh.... The two times she had been with him had been... well, physical... satisfying... No doubt it was because they had had a bond as friends beforehand. But the way she felt now... it was indescribable.

"Bella, have you heard a word I've said, gorgeous?" Jeff asked as he nudged her forward to search her face. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"Sorry," she giggled. "I was lost in thought, I guess."

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked devilishly. He felt himself go hard again inside of her, and she felt it too. "Hmm... Maybe you should start moving up and down again."

"Baby, let's not," she sighed, then climbed off of him. "I need to get some work done."

"Work, schmork," he said. "You're just gonna leave me alone with this hard on?"

"Yeah," she said detachedly. She found her t-shirt and slipped it on. He sat confused on the couch.

"What's going on?"

"Just because I don't want to have sex doesn't mean there's something wrong," she said with annoyance. "Jeff, look. We said we'd do this thing one day at a time. If this is gonna be... something... it can't be all about sex."

"You're totally right," he said softly, shaking his head and feeling like a jerk. He just... ugh... He couldn't get enough of her. "Forgive me?"

He stood and reached for his boxers, slipping into them faster than she could imagine. She stood motionless for a moment, watching him, admiring his handsome face and body. Her heart caught in her throat for a minute and she felt her heart quicken. It dawned on her suddenly that he cared for her. He was compliant, kind, and sweet. Throw in gorgeous and sexy and terrific lover, and there was the perfect man.

Without a second thought, she strode to where he was standing and she placed both of her hands at the sides of his face. She smiled widely, her eyes searching his dark brown ones. She bit her lip and stood on tip toe to brush her nose with his. She kissed him deeply and passionately.

"Whoa," he said, his eyes wide with confusion. "Not sure what just happened there, but I'll take more please!"

"Silly," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing all over his face. "It suddenly all just dawned on me how amazing you are."

He brought his hand to her face and caressed it gently, kissing her with reverence.

"You, my beautiful Isabelle, are pretty amazing yourself," he whispered. "Now you better get busy on that work of yours because I'm sorely tempted to carry you into that bedroom and ravish you."

Isabelle turned and smiled, truly believing that maybe this was going to work out after all. For the first time in a long time, the ghosts of her past ceased to haunt her. When she turned to look at Jeff, she smiled again and he simply smiled back. It was enough.

Two weeks had passed. Half of Jeff's time was spent, and it was dawning on him that some sort of agreement had to be made about where he and Isabelle were headed.

He was in love with her. It was probably something he'd felt early on in his relationship with her, but had been scared to admit it to himself. She was the most amazing woman he'd found. Unlike his ex wife Michelle, Isabelle suited adult Jeff. Michelle had been the classic sorority girl who cheered him on at every football game he'd played in college. It was no big surprise to anyone that they'd gotten married right out of college. But then, as the years went on, their relationship had deteriorated. He had regretted the time he'd sacrificed with her in order to make his career a stellar one, but simultaneously, she had found her solace in working double shifts as a nurse so she didn't have to go back to their empty Manhattan townhome alone. As he'd told Izzy, the adults they'd become hadn't been as compatible as the college kids they'd once been. His divorce had been a sad one, but he had moved on. He wanted to continue to move on. With Izzy.

He often felt the tension at work with Josh in tow. He felt the cold stares and the puppy dog glances their way when they worked together. Jeff liked Chicago and enjoyed working with the staff, but he missed New York. There would be the difficult task, as Izzy was truly in love with her city.

"You about done, sweetie?" Jeff asked Izzy as she typed away at her laptop. It was already after six and he had just emailed off a few articles to his boss in New York. She seemed very intense at that moment.

"I'm going to wrap this up. Why don't you go ahead and I'll catch up with you later," she said gently. "You've got the keys, silly."

"Righ on," he said, sighing. "I was just hoping we could go together is all."

"By time you get back to my place, unlock it, and order some take out, I'll be right there."

He kissed her gently and slung his backpack onto his shoulder, noting that she was the only one left in the office. Or so he thought. Josh stepped carefully from his cube and watched him go. He finally had a chance to talk to Izzy without Jeff around to interfere.

"Izzy," Josh said softly. "You got a minute?"

She looked up, initially terrified, thinking she was the only one around. But her expression softened as she looked at Josh. Sadly she noted the sinking feeling in her heart as she saw his handsome face and crystalline blue eyes. She bit her lip and thought of Jeff, and it made her smile.

"What's up?" She asked, spinning in her seat and crossing her legs. She pointed to the chair next to her desk and he sat.

Josh smiled, secretly thanking God that she was letting him in again. Perhaps she'd forgiven him, and he asked her as much.

"I... I don't know what to say," she said softly. She sat silently a moment, her head thumping a wild cadence. "You made a mockery of us, Josh. You shit on our friendship when you didn't even have the decency to call me to explain yourself. You shut the door to any type of romantic relationship when you and Molly..."

"I know, I know," he uttered, shaking his head with shame. "Izzy, you don't even know how many times I have wished and dreamed of being able to turn the clock back to that moment. The last time I made love with you. I should've known then."

"What, that you were in love with me?" she demanded. "Yeah, you've told me that once already. Convenient, isn't it? We always seem to want that which we can't have. You lost, Josh. I am very happy with Jeff."

She turned her back on him only to have him stand and grab her elbow. He whirled her around, pulled her out of her chair, and put his hands around her waist, pressing his lips to hers. He felt her resist a bit, but he held on tightly, only to feel her soften and relax.

"You can't deny it," he whispered, his eyes closing as he inhaled the scent of her hair. "I watch you every single day with him, but you don't have the history with him. Think of all the things we've done together, Izzy. Bears games, your birthday... Oh Jesus, you tasted so good that night."

Tears streamed down her face as he reminded her of all their beautiful memories. She bit her lip and trembled, reliving the times they had shared.

"You were so perfect that night in your blue sweater, and your hair up in that clip," he uttered, referring to the last night they had been intimate. "I couldn't wait to take you home and make love with you."

He watched her beautiful face soften with each memory he played back for her. He held her closely to him, wiping away her tears that wouldn't seem to stop flowing. She clung tightly to him, tears raining down her cheeks.

"Izzy," he said gently, his voice breaking as he continued. "I know I've made mistakes in the past. I thought I knew what was best that day, when Molly was around. It felt right to run to something that felt familiar. I was scared of falling for you, but I did. I learned the hard way what it was like to fall for someone and lose her. I....I can't truly believe I've lost you, have I?"

She sighed, shook her head, and shrugged herself out of his embrace. She turned and hugged her arms to herself, hating him for making her relive the memories she had put away in a place that didn't really hurt anymore. When she closed her eyes, all she saw was him toying with a lock of Molly's hair. She couldn't seem to move past that moment and forgive. God only knows she'd tried....

"I'm not sure," she said quietly. "It comes down to me following what's truly in my heart. I never forget the ones who have helped me, nor the ones who have harmed me. You broke my heart, Josh. You knew I was vulnerable. I know you regret it. I'm certain you're sorry, but for once in my life, maybe I'm just looking for something that isn't damaged."

"But how can he love you any better than me? Isn't he divorced?"

"This isn't about Jeff," she said tersely. "This is about me and the fact that I absolutely refuse to settle. I gave you my heart, Josh, and you broke it."

"How could I break it when I didn't even realize it was mine to begin with?" He yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. Her face crumpling in confusion, she looked away and bit her lip.

"I can't argue with that," she said softly, her heart wrenching a little. "I guess this boils down to me having to decide if whether or not I should tell you that I do still have feelings for you."

He laughed low, his heart leaping a bit as tears began to form at his eyes. He bent to look her in the eyes and kiss her, then he held her closely to him.

"I think you did just tell me," he whispered.

"I think I did, too," she laughed.

"So you're going to send New York boy home?"

"I think it's naïve of you to think I'd just throw away the good thing I have with Jeff because I just admitted I still care about you. It's a given I would still care for you, Josh, but it doesn't change what happened."

"What?" He asked tensely, backing away and dropping his hands to his sides. "You're kidding me."

"No," she said. "I can't just send him home because I care about him. He brought me back from a really bad place. He's an amazing man, Josh. You haven't won some big victory here. Just because I have brought forth the fact that I still care about you doesn't mean I don't care about Jeff."

"You're not going to make this easy on me," he said dejectedly.

"Josh," she said gently. "Nothing about life and love is easy. We make choices that we're forced to live with. Neither of us can go back and change what's already transpired."

"But if you still have feelings for me, then I think it's simple," he said stubbornly. "The choice is right in front of you."

"You make it seem like the choice is as easy as deciding between a blue sweater or a pink one," she laughed. "It's not that easy. Do you hear me when I say that I care about Jeff?"

"You do realize there's nothing between Molly and I," he said quietly. "I just want you to know that is all."

"I have nothing to say about Molly," she said, then heard her phone begin to ring. It was Jeff. "I kinda need to take this in private."

"A New York moment, huh?" He said, his voice prickly. "I'll let you get back to that."

"Babe," Jeff bellowed, laughing. "Where are you?"

"I had to take care of a few things," she said low. "I'll be home in twenty."

She finished packing up for the night only to feel Josh's hand brush aside her hair from her neck. He placed tiny kisses there, making her close her eyes in enjoyment.

"Josh, I don't think that's a good idea," she uttered.

"Why?" He asked, loving the feel of her again. It was enough to smell her subtle perfume, taste her delicious skin. He felt himself go hard and so did she.

"Josh," she exclaimed. "Um, look, it's late and I need to go."

"I'm sorry," he said, embarrassed. "I miss you so much, Izzy."

She backed away from him, her expression unreadable. She knew she had a lot of decisions to make, and it would be difficult to do since both of them were such prominent figures in her life. She couldn't even escape them at work!

"You have to be patient, and more than anything, you have to give me my space," she said loosely. "I have to be fair to both of you, but I also have to be fair to myself. I can't ignore the one person who I have to live with day in and day out—and that's me. She deserves the best."

"I don't disagree," he said softly.

As she sat in her living room explaining all of this to Jeff, she saw a shadow grow across his face and a sadness borne in his fathomless brown eyes.

"I should've known you still like the guy," he said softly as he took her hands in his. "I can't compete with your history, Bella. Look, if it'll help you, I'll book a flight back to New York. I know I said I'd be out here for the next 4 weeks, but I don't want to cramp your style."

"That's probably not a bad idea," she said gently. "I'll miss you."

"No kidding," he uttered. "Ugh, this sucks. Plain and simple. I feel like I've already lost you."

She stood and strided over to the window, staring out at the night before her. In the distance she saw the skyline, her one true constant. The city was still her true love. It gave her energy to keep on. She closed her eyes as she felt Jeff's arms go around her waist. He kissed the top of her head and leaned into her. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent. Her heart skipped a beat as she felt moisture from his face slide onto hers.

"Jeff," she whispered as she turned to him, placing her arms around his neck. "You haven't lost me. I just need time to figure things out."

"But there's no guarantee," he whispered, his voice quivering. "You're amazing, Isabelle. You're the strongest, most independent woman I have ever been blessed to know. Your heart will tell you what you deserve. If it's not me, I'll be hurt, but to see you happy and to see you continue to grow and fluorish, well, that will be enough. Even if it means I have to spend a lifetime without you. Sometimes loving someone means letting them go."

The next evening she kissed him and bade him farewell as he loaded his things into a cab that would take him to the airport. The sadness in his eyes made her heart wrench, but she was thankful he was giving her the space she needed.

"I have a hope that I'm going to be seeing you soon," he said gently, his arms around her waist. He kissed her gently as she stood silently.

"Have a safe trip," she whispered. "Call me when you get back to New York, ok?"

She spent a quiet evening with her best friend, sipping their favorite treat of cherry wine. Jeff's absence was felt all around her. She missed his presence, his scent. She had gotten used to him in the past two and a half weeks.

"Izzy, you have two amazing men who are in love with you," Renee chided as she poured them another heaping glass of burgundy liquid. "Smile or something."

"I know," she said glumly. "It just bothers me that I have to hurt one of them. I hate having to hurt people."

"Well," Renee giggled. "You can't have them both."

"Ugh," she uttered. "Please, one is enough."

The work environment seemed to have an even greater affect on Isabelle. She looked over at the cube where Jeff had been working and saw an empty space. She felt her heart long for him and was shocked. She put her hand to her chest and gnawed at her bottom lip.

"He went back, huh?" Josh stood behind her and whispered. "Is that a sign in my favor?"