Chris and Luke

It seemed like a very, very long time but was probably only a few minutes, before Joel detached himself from the melee and approached them. Unbelievably he was smiling broadly.

"I'm so sorry." Luke choked but Joel continued. "We keep leaving you hanging. I suppose we're all obsessed with the experiment and sometimes we forget he's a real person and so are you."

"I don't care about that. I don't care about anything, only please, please... Is he...?"

"Chris is fine, absolutely fine."

"But he... he was... and there was an alarm."

Joel's smile became more gentle. "Why don't you sit down?" They practically fell onto the chairs. "The alarm was a warning that the levels of suspension chemicals in Chris' blood were rising. Nothing more."

"It wasn't... a bad thing?" Amy asked hesitantly.

"It wasn't a bad thing at all."

"I don't... I don't understand. What does it mean? What does it MEAN?"

"It means that it's over. Maximum saturation has been achieved. The nanites have finished their job. It's over."

"What? What do you mean over?" Amy asked weakly.

"Do you really mean it? Do you really mean it? It's over. He's going to be alright now."

Luke, as usual was more focussed and this time Joel directed his response to him. "His life isn't in danger any more. We won't know what effect, if any the treatment has had until he wakes up."

Luke's eyes went flat as Amy asked querulously. "When will that be?"

This time Joel turned to her although he gave Luke a long thoughtful look as he did so. "We're withdrawing all the medication now. It's not needed any longer. He should wake up in half an hour or so but he'll be very tired. It's been a hard fight for him and it will take time for his body to recover. When he first wakes we won't be able to do any more than a brief evaluation then he'll sleep again well into tomorrow..." He checked his watch, "...today."

"But he's going to be alright?"

"It will be some time before we can give a complete picture. All that we can say right now is that he's going to live."

Amy covered her eyes with her hands, sobbing with relief. Joel turned to Luke. "You don't seem too thrilled with the news. What's bothering you?"

Luke looked up at him with stormy, dull eyes. "He didn't know me."

"What do you mean?"

"Just before... before the alarm started going off, he was scared and in pain and I tried to talk to him, so did Mrs B. He didn't know either of us. He didn't recognise us."

"That doesn't necessarily mean anything. The nanites might have been swarming around neural centres in the brain, it might have been the pain, the medication, the increase in the chemicals in his blood. It could have been a lot of things."

"Or it could be that he doesn't remember us, that he won't remember us."

"It could, yes. But even so... just because he doesn't remember you doesn't mean he can't get to know you again, make new memories."

"But what if he doesn't want to? What if he doesn't fall in love with me again?"

"It's all pure conjecture Luke. Wait and see."

"But he could be someone completely different couldn't he? I mean, not just the memory, the personality everything. He could be even more disabled than he was before. He could be..."

"He could be a lot of things Luke; most of them better than before."

"Most. Not all."

"No, not all. You knew the score Luke, you've always known the score, so why are you freaking out about this now?"

"Why? Because I have just looked into my lover's eyes and for the first time ever I didn't see love in them. I didn't see Chris in them. I suppose I have been too scared about him dying. I... I didn't... I didn't let myself think about what would happen if he didn't."

Joel patted Luke on the shoulder. "Let's just wait and see."

"That's all I've been doing for months."

"Then a few more hours won't make any difference." Luke stared at him then shook his head enigmatically and buried it in his hands.

It was a lot more than an hour before Chris woke. Time wore on and the sun rose. After a period of intense activity, with someone checking something or other with Chris every few minutes they took everything away and let him be.

Luke couldn't help thinking that they had removed all the monitoring equipment far too prematurely. All that remained was a needle in the back of his hand 'in case of emergencies' although they couldn't tell him what kind of emergency that might be.

He had grown used to the steady beep of the heart monitor and the regular hiss and click of the blood pressure cuff. He realised now that he had found them reassuring. Even the weird mosquito machine which stuck it proboscis into his arm to constantly monitor the chemical composition of his blood had been reassuring... well apart from when it had set the alarm off.

Now there was nothing, nothing at all to tell him that all was well. There was only Chris and he wasn't even certain that he knew who Chris was any more.

He was dozing lightly, exhausted himself, when he heard Chris' sleepy moan and he raised his head in time to catch the first fluttering of the inky black lashes which were all the darker against the pale cheeks.

"Chris." He whispered, practically holding his breath. Chris sighed and his eyes fluttered open. He blinked slowly, not focussing on anything and then closed them again. "Chris." He repeated more anxiously. By this time Amy was on the other side of the bed. Once again Chris opened heavy eyes and failed to focus them on anything. Luke was almost beside himself as he held Chris' hand and whispered his name for the third time.

Blinking repeatedly Chris tried to focus his eyes. "Oh please Chris, please remember me."

Chris blinked up at him surprised. "Remember you? Of course I remember you. It hasn't been that long has it? Has it?" He added anxiously.

Luke smiled through streaming tears. "No. It hasn't been that long, not long at all."

"How long?"

"Only a few days."

Chris relaxed with a sigh.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?" Amy asked gently.

"I... don't know. I'm tired. I'm still so tired."

She stroked his forehead and smiled at him. "It's alright. Rest if you want to. Sleep baby."

Chris' eyes widened. "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Why are you telling me to sleep? Am I dying?"

"No baby. You're not dying, not now, not any more."

"Is it? Is it over now?"

"It's over."

Suddenly Chris looked terrified. "Am I...? What am I...? Can I...?"

"Chris, we don't know. No one knows."

He swallowed. "I'm scared."

Luke squeezed his hand. "It's alright. You're here, with me. You're alive. You're going to live and we're going to be together. That's all that counts."

"That's why you said... why you were scared I wouldn't remember you. Oh God. Oh God Luke I'm so scared. What's happened to me? What's going to happen to me?"

"Calm down Chris." Luke said softly. "I just told you. It doesn't matter. You're here. I'm here. That's ALL that matters." He spoke slowly and watched Chris gradually calming. He still looked scared and he was holding himself absolutely stiff, afraid to move a muscle in case he couldn't, or that he would find it still out of his control.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Of course you're scared. You wouldn't be human if you weren't scared."

"Am I?"

"Are you what?"

"Am I still human?"

"You really do talk a crock of shit sometimes don't you?" Luke smiled and leaned over to kiss him. "So what do you think? Did that feel human?"

"Totally." Still looking absolutely terrified and biting his lip to stop it trembling Chris slowly lifted his hand from Luke's and raised it to touch his face, to wipe the tears that were flowing freely down it. The fingers were trembling but not because of any uncontrollable spasms, only because of emotion.

"Luke." He breathed and then took his hand away from Luke's face and held it in front of his own face, staring at it in wonder and shock. He raised his eyes to his mother and smiled broadly.

"Mam." He held out his other hand and she grabbed it and held it tight barely able to see him through the tears.

Although still utterly exhausted Chris was excited now. "Help me."

"Help you what?"

"I want to sit up. I want to see if I can."

"I don't know. Maybe you should wait..."

"I've waited months. Please."

Unable to deny him anything Luke slipped his arm under Chris' shoulders and raised him upright, leaning against his shoulder. Chris put his arm around his waist and rested his head against his shoulder. For a few minutes they just stayed that way revelling in the closeness, the feeling of being together again.

"I'll go and tell Dr Forrest you're awake." Amy said smiling making a tactful withdrawal.

When she was gone Chris raised his face to Luke's and they both experienced something they had not had for a long time. They put their arms around each other and kissed. In fact Chris did a lot more than that. He was still weak but he managed to pull Luke down and arch his back to press himself up against him. The kiss was deep, passionate and healing.

And then the unthinkable happened. Growing even more adventurous but drowning his fear in the kiss and with Luke naturally helping and supporting him, largely without conscious thought, Chris inched his legs over the edge of the bed and for a long, heady blissful moment they were standing together, feeling the frantic beat of their hearts and the thrust of their heaving chests.

Of course it couldn't last long. Chris was out of energy and after months in the wheelchair he had no strength in his legs. After that first giddy moment he collapsed back onto the bed pulling Luke down on top of him.

"Shit Chris, be careful. I don't want to break you when you only just got fixed."

"You can't break me. I'm indestructible."

"Not quite. Don't get too carried away."

"Only by you."

Luke, with his hands either side of Chris' head, looking down at the shining eyes and flushed cheeks, felt as though he was going to burst with happiness. It was more than he could ever have dreamed of. He thought that life could not ever be any better than it was right there in that moment. But then Chris threw his arms around him and pulled him into an embrace that he had thought he would never experience again.