Christian College Sex Comedy Ch. 25

"Grrr...alright," Mr. Gibson admitted. "That would satisfy me."

I caught sight of Aunt Jill looking my way. I half expected her to volunteer my acceptance but she waited patiently on me instead -- not a good sign concerning her dependence on me.

"If it is okay with Mr. Gibson, I'll come over when he gives me a call and my school schedule allows," I said.

"I hope that settles that," Mr. Gilbert, Christopher's father, announced. "Was there a reason for Mr. Braxton waiting around us?" He was covering for his son, not me.

"I was agreeing to Pastor William's invitation to eat dinner with him tomorrow," I said.

"I will have to look at my schedule and get back to you," Pastor Bill replied in a snide tone.

"No problem -- Mrs. Penny and I'll hit Zeta's tomorrow and we can work out something for later," I smiled. I turned and left before he could finish sputtering because not only was Zeta's one of the finest eating establishments in town, I heard rumors it was also highly romantic.

I took eight steps before I nearly doubled over in pain. Christina had kidney-punched me, and hard. I turned fast enough to see Belle and Christina facing off.

"Do you want to explain that to me, Princess?" Belle inquired with a false grin.

"I'm Christina Buchannan and I'm wondering what you are doing here burning through what little good will Zane has with this congregation," the woman I love sizzled.

"Zane, should I give a crap?" Belle joked. She didn't need me to tell her what to think.

"She's the woman I love more than life itself," I explained to Belle, who regarded me curiously.

"I occasionally like him," Christina remarked, "when he's not making an ass of himself."

"I couldn't let them insult Belle," I countered. "If she slapped the guy, you know they would have screwed her over."

"I don't need you to pick my fights, Dumbass," Belle mocked me. "These people and their opinions don't bother me. Hell, Mom whored around a lot and for all I know, Old Man Gibson might even be my Daddy. Now," she looked at Heaven, "why are you eyeballing me?"

"I'm Heaven and Zane's my boyfriend," Heaven declared.

"Oh, God," chuckled Belle, "when Tawny said your life was beyond description, she wasn't kidding."

"If we can all agree to get along I have one last thing I need to get done and then anyone who wants can make for Jill's," I stated. I leaned in and kissed Heaven on the ear. She finally broke her glare directed at Belle to look up at me so I kissed her on the lips.

"Are we okay, Babe?" I asked Heaven. She looked at me but seemed terribly upset by something that I was unclear about. She nodded and I broke away. Iona slipped me the phone as I approached Felicity. I now got to see if what I'd done had screwed up my relationship with her.

"Hey, Felicity, do you know whose phone this is?" I asked Lance Wellington's fiancé.

"That looks like Lance's," Felicity took the device and examined it. "It is," she confirmed.

"Are you going to George Mason anytime this week?" I inquired.

"I was going up Tuesday to visit Lance for some kind of fraternity affair," Felicity said.

"When you are there could you pick up some books for me? I checked them out but I'd have to find a way to make the trip myself and with my school schedule, that would be tough," I explained.

"Zane, how does someone from FFU get books from George Mason?" Felicity leaned in and whispered.

"I'm not breaking the law but I am doing it in an underhanded manner," I whispered back.

"Okay," she smiled warmly, if in a rather complacent manner.

"Thanks," I told her, before parting ways and making for the door. A tide of women migrated with me outside. As we split up, I caught sight of Belle putting on her helmet and sitting on her hog. "Are you coming over for supper (the midday meal in the Southeastern US)?"

"Does inviting the poor outcast chick to the house make you feel better about yourself?" Belle teased me.

"Does everything have to be about you and your vendetta against the Established Order?" I shot back.

"I bet the girls have a blast tying you down because you can be downright irritating," Belle rolled her eyes.

"We've already gone down that road with me, the cross and the sorority in the woods, so stop gloating. Now, are you coming to supper willingly or are you going to have to beat me up when I try and make you?"

"Fine," Belle raised up her hands, "when I looked up 'dumbass' and 'stupid' online, they both had your portrait under the 'images of' section. If I walk in the door, you will know I've accepted your offer. Now step back before I decide you are more annoying than cute."

I stepped back, joined Paige and Iona at the car, and travelled my dumb ass back home. Barbie Lynn, Valarie, Rio, and Mercy had already joined Aunt Jill in her heroic culinary efforts based on the talents of the microwave and a warm skillet. The parade of food was setting around the table when I noticed Paige had gone missing. As I scanned about, I saw Belle walk into the dining room -- I hadn't heard the doorbell ring or a knock at the door.

"Have we locked away the good silver," Valarie joked when she realized Belle was here. Belle didn't look amused by Val's ribbing. "It's for Rio," Valarie snickered.

"Hey," snorted Rio, "Belle, you are stepping on my Bad Girl image. I'll take Grand Theft Auto and vandalism and you get burglary and guns; deal?"

"Zane..." Jill was looking for some explanation from me so I decided to see how far her new tolerance could be stretched.

"I wanted to show Belle one of the guest rooms," I stated carefully, but with authority. "She doesn't have a place to live and since we have the space, I figure she could hang out until she puts some money away for a new place. Plus you would have someone home when you got off of work and the house would be safer. Belle can take care of herself and you, if something goes wrong," I finished.

"Zane, you make my life easier one more time, I swear that I'm going to use you to redefine road rash," Belle promised. This declaration didn't stop Belle from stepping up and taking a seat.

"Jill, is that okay with you? " I addressed the female lead of the Braxton household.

"If you think it will be good for the house and make things safer, I wholeheartedly support your decision," Jill agreed. That done, I called out for the invisible Paige.

"Paige, I don't advise you to sneak up behind Belle," I warned her. "She might not be in an understanding mood."

Paige did heed my advice and appeared by me instead of behind Belle.

"Your intellect may be downgraded to 'sub-par' if you keep this course of action up," she cautioned me.

"Do what you will," I quoted, "for I do what I must."

"The blade itself incites to deeds of violence," Belle countered to Paige. "Are you really such a fucking putz that you think you can separate Zane's passions into the parts that you like from the parts that you don't? To me it seems you are wasting your parents' money by going to college yet staying dumb as dirt."

"Belle -- language at the dinner table," Aunt Jill scolded Belle. I wasn't sure how Belle would take that but something else was going on at the same time. Everyone was looking at Belle too, but for a reason that had nothing to do with calling Paige names.

"What? I can't quote Homer?" Belle shrugged. "I've read Sun Tzu too. Oh, and sorry about slapping the little bitch, Aunt Jill. I hang out with men of questionable parentage."

"I apologize, Belle," Iona spoke up. "I thought less of you because of the way you talk and dress. That was unfair to you and a disservice to myself and the way my parents raised me." The apologies echoed around the table; Paige's silence being noted. I gave her one quick look, then joined the rest of the gang doling out the food and settling in to the routine of eating and dinner conversation.

HEART SONG

After we ate and cleaned up the table and the kitchen, Jill took to her chair, reading a Christian Lifestyle magazine, while Iona, Paige and I sat on the sofa.

"Zane, do you think we will be able to do this again soon?" Paige asked. It was the first thing she'd said to me since Belle had arrived. I had to think about the words I would use.

"Ask me again in a day or two when I've cooled down," I answered.

"What do you have to be angry about?" Paige turned fully to me. Again, I had to search for the words. "You are the one who brought the stranger around." I took a deep breath.

"Paige, you were once that stranger that Zane brought around to the rest of us," Iona reminded Paige. "We were all once new and unknown to him and the rest of us -- except Rio. She's been there at his side since the beginning."

"I would prefer to hear what Zane is really thinking," Paige sounded condescending toward Iona.

"Fine," I sighed. "I can take you teasing me -- it is kind of nice and our thing, but I can't keep dealing with you not trusting my judgment. I will try to do what you want but when you ignore what I want, we need to go separate ways until something changes."

"But..." Paige went from arrogant to stunned inside a second.

"I asked you to give me a day or two to order my thoughts and emotions but you decided that you knew best," I explained. "This is how I feel right now: my life would be better without you." Paige was rendered speechless and both Jill and Iona were clearly unhappy with me.

"That's not what he means, Paige," Iona popped back into the conversation, "do you Zane?"

"What the heck does he mean, then?" Paige dry-sobbed.

"This weekend was a disaster for him," Iona persisted. "All he wanted to do was unwind and spend a quiet few hours at his home with Jill. I was only invited along because I've learned to keep out of his way when he gets in these moods."

"We had a wonderful morning and now he's acting like a total ass," Paige grumbled. "We all had a rough week and a less than satisfying weekend." Iona lowered her head, then stood up.

"Paige," Iona began as she walked over to face the albino maiden, "I wasn't aware that our school administration has been after you since day one, or that you've been beaten up multiple times, or humiliated, or had your friends threatened, or had your private life made into a public spectacle, or had someone point a gun at you, or make you fight for your life, or get drugged and tied naked to a cross."

Iona stopped for a breath.

"Please," Iona pleaded, "tell me how much more you needed a quiet weekend compared to Zane." Paige began to get all teary-eyed -- oh hell. "You invited yourself along, you got the Kappa Sigmas to come over in the middle of the night, and you insult a guest he invites over to his house -- his house. What is wrong with you?" Iona showed real anger this time.

Paige got up, choking back sobs, and fled to the back porch; a few moments later I followed. I found Paige curled up on the chair I had cuddled in with her that morning. I knelt down beside her and tilted her chin so that we could make eye contact.

"I..." I got out.

"I understand, Zane," she hiccupped. "I've never lost at anything I have aimed for, but it's always been accolades or achievements, not a relationship. I can't give you up and I don't know what my next move has to be. I get so frustrated when I am with you and another woman shows up. I blew it. I'll be good and leave you alone." I fell back onto my ass and shook my head.

"Didn't I spank your ass over this not too long ago?" I reminded Paige. "What I was going to say was that I'm tired, stressed, and prone to saying things I know I'll regret -- things like saying I don't want you around. I only wish you and Rio wouldn't love me one minute, then kick me in the teeth the next. Cut me some slack from time to time."

"Oh, God," Paige moaned, and buried her head in her arms, "you are comparing me to Rio. It's worse than I thought."

"What do you mean? Rio is my closest buddy. She'd kill for me. Hell, she'd die for me, and you can't say that about most people," I pointed out.

"Of course, she might kill the wrong person or get killed doing something I could avoid, but no one is perfect," I added with a slight smile. Paige snorted.

"She is a total nut," Paige sniffed. "I hope you don't think I'm that crazy."

"Paige, you are as uniquely crazy as you are unique," I responded.

"Can you please say something that I can understand, Zane?" Paige pleaded.

"You are a fantastic woman and a great lover. You can get inside my head like no one else I've ever known. I like the way you tease me. I am slowly getting used to you scaring the crap out of me whenever you materialize at my side," I complimented her.

"I have one guideline I do try to live by, though, and that is, come at me all you like but stay away from my friends," I stated.

"Does that include that druggy-whore biker slut?" Paige mumbled. I wasn't sure what about Belle pissed Paige off so much but I felt I had to make a point. I sprang on Paige and hefted her onto my shoulder.

At first Paige was uncertain and then she began sniffle-giggling, but when I broke through the tree line that separated my property from the Kappa Sigmas, she saw where I was heading and squealed. She was still caterwauling when I dumped her into the pool. Several of the Kappa Sigmas were sitting out in the afternoon overcast sunlight.

"You bastard," Paige sputtered and splashed about. After a second she parted the hair covering her face and scowled at me. "You don't even know if I can swim."

"If you couldn't I would have jumped in and saved you," I told Paige. She began swimming to the closest ladder. In retrospect, I should have given more care to the thinness of what Paige was wearing and what it would expose when wet.

Paige furiously stomped forward, her waterlogged clothes splashing water everywhere. I took in the view and before she got to me, she realized what she was exhibiting to the whole world.

"I'm going to kill you!" she screamed at me. I showed remarkable (and what some would say was shocking for me) intelligence by running for my life, Paige in close pursuit.

I let her catch me on the stairs going up to the porch from the yard. She shoved me down and began hitting me -- really punching me with her fists. She kicked and screamed for several seconds then let out one last bestial scream and sloshed inside. By the time I got inside, Aunt Jill and Iona were looking at me quizzically. Before I could explain, Paige came storming back downstairs.

"You" she screeched, "you...played me. I...well done, Zane," she abruptly changed emotional direction. "I'll let Belle know that I apologize for behaving immaturely." Paige shook her head a few times. "I give you this round and I have to applaud your psychological manipulation of the situation, Zane." Paige leaned up, kissed me on my lips, and headed back upstairs.

"What was that all about?" Jill came up and whispered to me.

"I wish I knew," I shrugged.

"I think Paige may be too smart," Iona observed. "She sees plans in your instinctual reactions. I suddenly think Cordelia is in serious trouble in her feud with you."

After that circus, I had a reasonable expectation of a drama-reduced conclusion of the weekend. I was going out with Heaven after all. Things could still go wrong. When I made my way to my car at five it wasn't Heaven I saw; it was Hope. Mind you, Hope looked amazing dressed in white boots, leggings, below-the-knee length skirt, skin-tight shirt, and bolero jacket. I was suddenly worried about in which cultures white is the color of Death.

"Hey, Hope," I greeted her as I pulled out my phone and hit Heaven's speed dial.

"Hello, Zane," she grinned as she folded her arms and tilted her hip as she waited for me to attend to business.

"Zane," Heaven mumbled from the other end.

"Babe, what is going on? I like Hope and I owe her a date but I want to be with you right now," I said. There was a long pause.

"We agreed that there would be more of a rotation to help us deal with the stress of this school year," Heaven moped.

"Could you hurry up and come down here? Because there is something I want to talk to you about but not over the phone," I requested.

"I don't want to...fine," Heaven groaned, "I'll be down in a second."

"As a joke I tried to get anyone to bet me you wouldn't call. No one took the bet," Hope smiled.

"You are very beautiful, Hope. This is nothing against you, but I had my heart set on Heaven tonight," I told her. "Besides, at 12:01 tonight, I really, really wanted to nail her."

"You might get the chance to nail someone anyway," Hope smiled seductively. "It isn't like you are unfamiliar with my body and I certainly don't mind being in close proximity to you."

"Doesn't your Dad kill people for a living?" I questioned.

"No, silly, he's in private security. As far as I know, he hasn't killed anyone in the United States in some time -- that wasn't self-defense," Hope explained.

"I'm still not going to mention to him that we are going out. He'd break every bone in your body. He's very protective of his daughters," Hope studied me for my reaction.

"Eh, he's an old guy," I mused. "I can probably take him." Hope began giggling hysterically. Heaven came running up and hug-tackled me, ending that discussion. Christina followed along at a more sedate pace.

"I am so fucking horny," Heaven whispered in my ear.

"That's not fair," I growled, "because now all I can think of his your sweaty back pressed against me as I rub my hands all over your stomach and breasts."

"Bastard," she sizzled, but she was clearly less stressed about her now. "What did you want to tell me?"

"When I got home I ran across a mutual friend," I teased.

"Who?" Heaven worried. I pulled out my wallet and retrieved a certain someone's card.

"She asked about me, but she really wanted to know about you," I said as I handed Officer Danica Campbell's card over. "She told me she misses the feel of you brushing your tits along her back and your hard cock filling her up in every way. She wants to know when you, and maybe I, can stop by."

Heaven's eyes grew wider as she looked from the card then over to me several times.

"I...uh...really?" Heaven questioned. I nodded in the affirmative.

"If you feel like it, call her and set something up and I'll tag along if you want me to."

"Remember, I'm busy Wednesday nights," I suggested. Heaven now seemed positively ecstatic.

She gave me one more long kiss, skipped over to Christina, showed her the card and began hurriedly whispering to her. Christina shot me a curious look then smiled, giving her seal of approval to my little gift to Heaven. As those two turned the corner, I walked over to Hope.

"Thank you for waiting, Hope," I said, as I took both her hands in my own.

"I fully understand Zane. Loyalty is not one of your failings and it wasn't like you recoiled at the sight of me," Hope teased. "Now let's go." I opened her car door and held it open so she could get in, then went around and got in my side, started things up, and left campus.

"So, what's the agenda for tonight?" she inquired.

"There is this place on Carver Street that sells the thickest hamburgers we've ever seen, or so I'm told," I related. "After that, we walk around UV campus until 7:30 when we catch the noir film classic A Woman's Face. I've never seen it but I heard it is about the dual nature of women as both nurturer and spirit of vengeance." Hope seemed intrigued so I counted that as a win.

We had barely beat curfew coming through the gates but neither Hope nor I seemed ready to call it a night. I had my own reasons for wandering around FFU's campus and if Hope had any ideas about my intentions, she kept quiet about them. It was nearly eleven when I led my date up to the Solarium. Thankfully, the lights were out and some of the sofa-beds were occupied.