Cocklust Repression

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Young man recounts the beginning of repressed cocklust.
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Ryan bolted up from his bed and tried to get his eyes to focus on the bright LED alarm clock—8:33AM. He was supposed to be up and out of the house by eight. Shit! Dressed in a T-shirt and loose boxers, he grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on quickly as he rushed out of his bedroom. He flew down the stairs, through the kitchen—past his mom and sister—and out the backdoor.

"Hey you dork," his sister called out, "it's Saturday!"

"I know," Ryan shouted back from the yard as he flipped up the kickstand of his mountain bike. This was Ryan's first summer back from college and he had taken a job at a clothing store in the local mall. Saturdays were his day off—so he wasn't headed to the mall. Instead, he was headed to his best friend Mike Lilly's house. Only Mike was on vacation in Europe with his wealthy girlfriend. So, Ryan wasn't on his way to see Mike. Instead, he was on his way to see Miss Madison Lilly—Mike's mother.

Miss Lilly was the MILF of the neighborhood. Indeed the MILF of the town. Everyone knew who she was—the busty blond woman and ex-wife of the town's ex-mayor. In her mid-forties—she conducted aerobics classes at the local health club that kept her well-tanned body tight, fit, and looking half her age. She made a modest income at the health club but lived lavishly off her ex-husband's alimony payments. As part of the settlement, she was also awarded the estate home in the divorce proceedings as well as a large portion of his wealth. Rumor has it that he was caught having sex with their Mexican nanny—Bianca. This was not a good fact when trying to garnish the sympathies of a female judge in a divorce trial.

Ryan hustled toward a shortcut that wound through dirt back roads leading to the walled gates of the Lilly's estate. Miss Lilly hated when Ryan was late. On Saturday's they had two hours together. With Mike gone for the summer, the only person they had to worry about was Gus—he was Miss Lilly's boyfriend of four years. As soon as the divorce was settled, Gus moved promptly into the estate. He was a car mechanic at the local Lube Right. Everyone suspected that he and Miss Lilly were having an affair long before she caught Mayor Lilly with Bianca. In fact, Ryan knew it. His own parents were divorced and being the only boy in the house with his mother and sister, Ryan found comfort hanging around with Mike…

He spent many weekends and nights at the Lilly's house. On occasion, he and Mike would hear the sounds of passionate sex emanating from the Lilly's master bedroom—only Mr. Lilly was away on business. This happened on multiple occasions. At first, Ryan and Mike would huddle outside of the master bedroom door—giggling and snickering at the sounds. Once, Gus even whipped open the door and chased them away. Later they figured out that the sounds traveled through the vents and that they could hear every amorous detail from the hallway bathroom. From there they could lock the door and listen at will. But as they grew older, their snickers were replaced with absolute silence as they both wanted to hear every grunt, every moan, every slap, every thrust. Their hard-ons would tent their boxers—they would both go to bed and masturbate under the sheets. Eventually, they began jacking openly in the bathroom as they listened—a bold move that Ryan started when he just couldn't take the strain of his erection or wait until he got under the sheets. They would pump furiously while Gus nailed Mike's Mom. Sometimes he'd fuck her for hours and both of them would spurt load after load of cum all over themselves. This lead to shooting cum on each other, and over time they would stroke each other—timing their ejaculations with Miss Lilly's orgasm. She would wail so loud, it's a wonder the whole town couldn't hear…

Ryan pedaled hard as his bike kicked up dirt. In the time since he graduated high school, Ryan had grown into a strong young man—four inches taller and twenty pounds heavier—all muscle. His high school years seemed like a distant past, yet he felt like a high school kid today…

It was during his senior year that he began the turgid affair with Miss Lilly—or Madison as she liked Ryan to call her when they were alone. It was at Mike's college going away party that Ryan had his first sexual encounter with his best friend's mom. She was drunk and so was Ryan. He found himself gazing at her incredible cleavage—38DD's to be precise. That size rack on such a thin frame is what made Miss Lilly standout. When she caught Ryan's gaze she took him by the hand and led him to the upstairs of her home. They walked past busy partygoers—no one seemed to pay any attention to the two as they ascended the long spiral staircase. Ryan remembers it vividly because he was terrified that Mike would see—that Gus would find them together as they fucked in the master bathroom. Gus was a massive man—6'5" tall with hands the size of catcher's mitts. Ryan shuddered at the thought of the ass kicking Gus would deliver if he caught him. How he managed to shut out his fear and fuck Miss Lilly, Ryan will never know—but he remembers how his cock began thickening as they walked up the staircase. He remembers how the anticipation of laying Mike's mom—the woman he fantasized about along with her own son—made his cock harder than it had ever been. And fuck her he did—with wild abandon for what seemed like hours. They fucked and fucked and then fucked some more. Totally losing track of time—at some point during that evening he passed out…

Ryan coasted down a steep hill leading directly to the double wrought iron gates of the Lilly estate. They were wide open. He liked to think that she left them open for him, but the truth was that they were left open on Saturday mornings for the landscapers. He cruised past them as they went about trimming bushes and mowing the lawn. Antonio, the head landscaper waved at Ryan as he passed. He parked his bike in the rear of the house to make sure it wasn't out in the open. He could feel his cock, semi erect and drooling in his pants in anticipation of Miss Lilly's attention. She typically had Ryan enter through the back door and to the second floor via the rear staircase, which lead upstairs from the kitchen. He had seen her twice this summer since returning from college and on both occasions, he found her waiting on her massive Victorian bed—dressed in silk and lace. The guilt Ryan felt from having a sexual affair with his best friend's mom was not easy to live with. There was awkwardness between Ryan and Mike—but it started well before his affair with Miss Lilly…

Years ago, there was a period when Ryan and Mike stopped talking to each other. Ryan was spending a weekend at Mike's house as usual—this time for the 4th of July weekend celebration. As the two boys grew older, their spying habit on Miss Lilly ended—together at least. Ryan continued sneaking out of bed late at night and into the guest bathroom for solo jack-off sessions while Mike slept. He couldn't resist the erotic sounds of Miss Lilly and Gus. He even went so far on one occasion as to sneak a peek through their bedroom door. That was the first time he saw her naked, riding Gus hard—her glorious tits bobbing up and down with each thrust. He jacked hard that evening and boldly shot a load all over the wall outside of the master bedroom. But, on a later occasion he woke up quietly and snuck out of Mike's room—as usual he headed straight to the guest bathroom, closed and locked the door, pulled his shorts down, and waited. Eventually he could hear the muffled voices and then the sounds of Miss Lilly's bedsprings—their rhythmic squeaking announced the beginning of the lovemaking. That night the bedsprings sounded especially spastic and the headboard was banging against the wall extra hard. Whoa—Ryan remembers thinking to himself as he pumped his cock—Gus was really giving it to Miss Lilly good! BANG! SQUEAK! BANG! SQUEAK! The intense sound of the action goaded Ryan into sneaking a peek once again—so he quietly snuck out of the guest bathroom, hard dick poking out of the waistband of his boxers, bobbing up and down as he tiptoed down the hall. But this time as he slowly turned the knob of Miss Lilly's master bedroom door, nothing could prepare him for the sight he was about to see. If he could just go back in time to that evening and never open that door, he would save himself years of emotional turmoil…

Ryan walked up the kitchen staircase to the second floor and slowly approached Miss Lilly's master bedroom—the door left slightly open. He thought back again to that night so many years ago—the one he wishes he could take back on that 4th of July weekend when he approached this very same door…

Back then he was flooded with the thrill of watching Miss Lilly and Gus going at it. What he found instead would change his relationship with Mike forever. There was Gus, pounding his hips up and down—bedsprings squeaking, headboard banging. Only it wasn't Miss Lilly on her back with her legs spread wide—It was Mike! Ryan remembers being frozen while he gawked at the unbelievable site. As he watched, he began to notice so much more than just the act of sex taking place. He saw the pleasured smile on Gus and heard the wet sloshing sounds of his cock sliding in and out of Mike's ass. He heard Mike's muted grunts and saw the look of extreme pain on his contorted face. For the first time he noticed the size of Gus's balls—they were like large lemons flopping back and forth and mashing hard against Mike's rear. Both of them were soaking wet with sweat…

Ryan paused at Miss Lilly's master bedroom door as he played back the events of that disturbing summer night. This was the exact spot where he watched Gus pull his long cock out of Mike…

Ryan remembered watching his best friend roll over onto his stomach, trying to crawl away, pulling at the wet bed sheets. Gus's cock strained as it stood proudly in the air, wet and dripping. Before Mike got very far, Gus gripped his ass cheeks with his massive hands, each one cupping a fleshy globe, and pulled him back. The look of fear on Mike's face was terrifying to Ryan—was Gus raping Mike? Should he call for help? Should he try to stop him? He could not get himself to react—couldn't move a muscle as he watched…

Ryan tried to shake the thoughts from his head. Miss Lilly was waiting just beyond the door—her tan body probably shiny with vanilla scented body oils. Ryan reached for the doorknob but the thoughts kept coming…

He recalled how Mike tried desperately to pull himself away from Gus. He clawed at the bed sheets as Gus gripped him by the hips from behind, propping them up high. In one powerful thrust of his muscular hips, he drove his thick cock deep inside of Mike. The wet thud of his hips slamming against Mike made Ryan cringe. And Mike's expression—it went from terror to a look of surprise as his eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. His mouth made a perfect 'O' shape—he held that expression as Gus kept his hips pressed hard against him before starting a rhythmic fuck pace. He was relentless as his hips jackhammered over and over. Ryan remembers crying as he watched his best friend take the fucking. But the most shocking moments were yet to come—the betrayal that even Ryan couldn't predict after all he had witnessed. The words coming from Mike's mouth—"Oh yes! Harder! Fuck me harder! Fuck yes!" He felt dizzy as he watched his best friend's facial expressions morph from pain to pleasure as a smile spread across his face. Ryan's jaw dropped open as he looked down and saw a pool of pre-cum on the floor beneath himself. He saw his own dick, raging hard and standing tall, betraying his emotions caused by the sight in front of him. He felt his ass cheeks instinctively clench tight as he watched Gus's animal lust unleashed on his best friend. The images. The sounds. The emotions. It was too much for Ryan to take in. He ran out of the Lilly's house that night. He ran all the way home with the most rigid hard on of his life. He ran past his sister and her boyfriend making out on the front porch. He darted past his mom and neighbor watching television in the living room. He made it all the way to his bedroom without anyone noticing his massive erection or the fact that he was in his boxers. He slammed the door behind him and struggled to catch his breath. He looked down to see his dick, raging hard underneath his shorts. He slapped at it. Tried everything he could, but the erection would not go away as the images flooded his mind. What the fuck was Mike thinking? How could Gus do that to him? Where was Miss Lilly? Was Mike gay? He had so many questions…

A chill ran through Ryan's body as he slowly pushed open Miss Lilly's door and peeked in. Her bed was empty this time—the silky sheets undisturbed. Was she in the master bathroom? He felt his cock twitch at the thought of shower sex with her but his mind wandered off again—back to that evening in July…

The confusion was overwhelming for him that night as he struggled to compose himself, holed up in his bedroom. A knock at his bedroom door snapped him out of the trance. It was his mother—asking if everything was all right. After shooing her away his attention went back to his rock hard cock. It spilled precum down his legs and created a large wet spot that soaked through his boxers. Go away damn it! He scurried into his bathroom and turned on the shower—cold water will do it—he thought. But it didn't work, the hard on persisted as the images and sounds continued to repeat themselves vividly in his mind. The only way to stop it was to do the unthinkable. He knew there was no other way as he climbed out of the shower and grabbed a tube of hand lotion. He squeezed every drop onto his cock and balls, emptying the entire tube. Then he started pumping his engorged erection hard and fast—Slapslapslapslap! He pumped his hips into his fist—harder, faster. He tried to think sexy thoughts—Miss Lilly, busty porn stars, cheerleaders, Aunt Rosa's massive tits, his sister's best friend Kayla—but his mind kept wandering back to Gus and Mike. He thought of Gus's cock—was it 12 inches long? He heard the sounds. He remembered Gus's muscular ass cheeks—clenching tight, then relaxing, clenching tight, then relaxing—again and again—balls slapping hard, hips thrusting, cock pumping, balls, wet, thick, gay, sex, fucking, spreading, dick, pumping, veins, throbbing, Mike, cock, Gus, cock, Gus, cock, cock, cock, no please, HOLY FUCK! Ryan began jetting cum all over the bathroom sink and mirror. OH GOD NO! He jacked furiously as spurt after spurt pumped from his dick—that would be his first of several ball-draining orgasms that evening. It was the hardest cum he'd ever had even to this day…

Ryan stepped into Miss Lilly's bathroom, but it too was empty. What the fuck? He wondered where she was as he called out now. There was no reply. He thought back to Mike—how he stopped talking to his best friend after witnessing the torrid fuck session with Gus. Mike would phone Ryan at home but he refused to take the calls. When they met in person, Ryan would look away, having trouble maintaining eye contact or even talking. Mike had no idea why Ryan was shutting him out. Eventually they returned to a friendly relationship but it was never the same. Ryan thought back on the many times they jacked together. He thought about the times they jacked each other—was that what led to Mike's 'gayness'? He remembers it being a weird thing to do—but they were just buddies helping each other get off. It was their secret and something that ended once they both started dating girls. He repressed the memories. He repressed the fact that his own dick became inexplicably erect during the whole ordeal that night—that he had to jack it off several times—literally drain his balls of cum to get his erection to subside.

Ryan searched the entire house and Miss Lilly was nowhere to be found. Did she forget? How could she after calling him late last night to remind him of their rendezvous this morning.

"Miss Lilly?" Mike called out. "Madison I have something for you. Thick, hard, and throbbing."

No reply.

Maybe she was in the basement laundry room. Ryan found her there once, riding the vibrations of the powerful washing machine—she made him stand and watch until she had an orgasm. He trotted down to the basement and walked through the lavishly decorated recreation/workout room, toward the laundry room in the back. He heard the sound of the basement door closing.

"Is that you my sweet and sexy..." Ryan paused for what seemed like an eternity as he heard the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the basement staircase.

It was Gus.

He was wearing his oil stained, blue coveralls with a brightly colored Lube Right patch over the right chest pocket. He looked pissed and said nothing as he slowly walked toward Ryan.

"Hey… Gus what's up… I…uh," Ryan fumbled over words as he stepped backward, bumping into a pool table. He was busted by Gus… there was no way that he could explain why he was in the Lilly house calling out for Madison Lilly. He knew that he was about to receive a major ass kicking.

Gus reached up with large oil stained hands and began unzipping his coveralls—he was naked underneath. Out flopped the largest dick Ryan had ever seen—the dick that Gus used to fuck Miss Lilly; the dick that he used to ravish Mike all those years ago. He continued walking toward Ryan, gripping the base of his cock, hefting up his heavy ball sack.

"Hey Gus… look, whatever you think was happening between me and Miss Lilly…" Ryan continued stumbling backward and found himself cornered. "I…I can explain… uh… I…" His eyes fixed on the head of Gus's massive slab of meat. Its head glistened as a dollop of precum collected at the tip. With Ryan's back pressed hard against a corner wall of the basement, he felt Gus's right hand slam against the wall just over his left shoulder.

"Shhhh," was all the oily mechanic said.

Ryan began sliding down the wall. Scared shitless—he fell to his knees and instinctively found himself sucking his own thumb. He shut his eyes tight as they began to tear up. "Please… oh please, oh please, oh please no…"

Ryan woke up several hours later in the pool house of the Lilly estate. When he regained consciousness, he was lying flat on his face over a fluorescent pink inflatable raft with his ass propped high in the air. He felt like he had a powerful hangover—and may have indeed still been drunk. His body was slick with oil—or was it mechanic grease? His hair was a mess and he felt sticky. Then he felt the pain in his jaw—he gave it a massage while opening and closing it carefully. He tried to stand—that's when a pain in his ass shot through his spine.

"Ouch!" He slumped onto the raft. His body smelled like alcohol, coconut oil, and cum—and so did his breath. He tried to remember what happened—tried to focus. How did he get here? The last thing he remembered was Gus standing over him in the Lilly's basement. He struggled to his feet again, noticing that he was wearing a pink cheerleaders skirt with bobby socks, pink shoes, no shirt and—no panties. Ryan slowly lifted the skirt and felt a cool breeze on his cock and balls—to his horror they were completely shaved.

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