Color Blind Ch. 09

Chapter Nine: Anniversary

Xandri was fed up. It hadn't been so bad at first; Quinn had at least talked to her some. But in the last week she hadn't been able to get him to answer the phone or the door. It isn't fair to me, she thought, as she trotted up the stairs to Alastair and Sada's apartment. Stringing me along, it's just not fair! Her breath puffed in the cold air. Xandri reached the top of the stairs, then the door, and knocked on it hard, driven a bit by frustration and impatience.

The door swung open. Alastair stood in the doorway, looking at first startled, and then concerned. He ushered her inside without so much as a word and took her coat as she shrugged it off. Just as Xandri was taking a seat on the couch Sada emerged from the bedroom with tousled hair, wearing jeans and a t-shirt that was obviously Alastair's. Have they been...oh dear, she thought, her cheeks turning red.

"I take it you're here about Quinn," Alastair said, settling down in a recliner. Sada perched on the arm of the chair, leaning against him.

Xandri scowled. "He hasn't spoken to me for a week. Is he always this fickle?"

"I was afraid it would come to this," Alastair said, sighing. "I suppose this is sort of like when you had to go to Quinn, Sada."

"I don't blame him for not talking about it," Sada said. She shrugged idly. "No offense, Xandri, but this is...well, it's not my story to tell."

"But I can," Alastair told her. "Because it has to do with me, too. Has Quinn told you what happened with Melissa?"

Xandri shook her head. Now that I think about it, she thought, he doesn't tell me much of anything personal. And so she sat and listened to the story of what Melissa had done to Quinn. By the time Alastair had finished, she was clenching her hands so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. Next time I'll hurt her for real, Xandri thought, scowling. I won't let her get off with a warning.

"I don't understand, though," she said. "You said something about a girl named Anna...what does that have to do with Melissa?"

"Nothing, really," Alastair replied, frowning. "Just that Melissa was my girlfriend...and so was Anna. Back when I was fourteen."

I don't like where this is going, Xandri thought, biting her lip. Quinn hasn't had a great track record when it comes to Alastair's girlfriends. She sat back on the couch, trying not to fidget. Somehow she knew this story was going to be even harder to hear than the one about Melissa.

"I met Anna in ninth grade," Alastair said quietly. Sada reached down and took his hand in hers, holding it while he spoke. "She was interesting...such a complex girl. For the most part she was very sweet and innocent. She didn't believe in sex before marriage and she went to Mass every Sunday...a preacher's daughter, in fact.

But sometimes she had an obstinate streak that got her into trouble. Well, I liked her quite a bit and she liked me, but Quinn...there's always been something about him that girls adore. I don't really know the whole story but...they spent some time together, and ending up feeling rather strongly about one another."

"They didn't tell you?" Xandri asked, frowning.

Alastair shook his head. "Quinn wanted to, but Anna...she was afraid. She didn't want to cause problems between myself and Quinn. And she still liked me as a friend, and she thought I'd be angry and I wouldn't stay friends with her."

"Would you have?" Xandri asked quietly.

"I'll never know," Alastair replied, shrugging. "Again, I don't know the whole story. Where we were living at the time, there was a real bad section of town. Anna's parents forbade her from going there and that was where her obstinate streak kicked in. She had to know what was so bad about it. I'd been told that they'd had problems with gang rape out there, but I didn't realize she hadn't heard about it. And I flat out refused to go with her.

And then a friend of Anna's disappeared near that part of town. Her friend had talked about running away all the time; she hated how strict and religious her family was. Anna got it in her head that her friend must have gone to that part of town because her family wouldn't look for her there.

She knew I wouldn't go with her so she tried to get Quinn to go. He said he wouldn't. I guess one day she snuck out of the house in the middle of the night to go herself. That's what her parents said. They'd gone up to check on her and found her gone, so they called our place."

"And you went after her," Xandri said.

"No," Alastair told her, shaking his head. "I went looking in the places I knew she liked to hang out. But Quinn realized where she'd gone and he went after her. He was the one who found her..."

I don't want to hear this, Xandri thought, closing her eyes. I know where this is going and I don't want to hear it. Alastair was silent for the moment, but she knew he would the story if she wanted him to. She could feel tears welling in her eyes. Xandri knew she had to hear the rest of it. Maybe I can help Quinn, somehow, she thought. She opened her eyes.

"I think I know what happened," Xandri said quietly. "She was...was..."

Alastair nodded. "Yes...and then stabbed to death. I...that was when I first found out...about her and Quinn...even if he hadn't told me, he...there was no denying it. He was mourning far worse than I was..."

"Shhhh," Sada murmured soothingly, leaning her head against Alastair's. He looked shaken. "It's all right, baby."

Alastair chuckled softly, although his voice quivered just a bit when he spoke. "I only told Sada about it a couple months ago...about the time you met Quinn."

"He won't even talk to me about it," Sada added. "And he talks to me about a lot of things he won't tell others."

"Today is the anniversary," Alastair told her. "That's why he hasn't been talking to you...Quinn is one of those people who starts sulking early. It isn't right for him to treat you like this, though."

"No," Xandri said softly. "I can understand...but..."

Alastair's eyebrows rose. "But?"

"Nevermind," Xandri said, smiling. "Thanks for telling me...I won't impose on you any longer."

She stood up from the couch. Xandri realized that she was shaking; her knees didn't want to support her. Sada rose and grabbed her coat for her, then handed it to her.

"Come around any time," Sada told her, smiling. "You're more than welcome."

Xandri smiled back as she pulled on her coat. They're really nice people, she thought, waving as she left the apartment. Although I get the feeling they appreciate their alone time. She hadn't planned to stay long, anyway. And now that she knew what was bothering Quinn, a plan was forming in her mind. Now I just have to hope he'll let me in, Xandri thought, frowning and biting her lip. That's going to be the tricky part.

*****

Quinn lay on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. He was completely, one hundred percent bummed out. Not to mention I feel guilty, he thought, sighing. Xandri, she...she's...ugh! He couldn't help it. She was sweet and innocent, with an occasional obstinate streak, and she reminded him so much of Anna. Right down to the blue eyes and freckles over her nose. She had the same passion and sense of wonderment. That was what had drawn Quinn to her; he got to feel guilty for that, too.

A soft knocking on the door interrupted his thoughts. He knew automatically that it was Xandri. She'd been calling him and stopping by every day, but he couldn't bring himself to talk to her. When I look at her, I see...Anna, Quinn thought, shuddering. Just like the last time I saw her... Sada hadn't reminded him of Anna at all. She'd been safe. He'd never felt like he was just trying to replace Anna with her. Xandri, however, was a completely different story.

The knocking didn't stop; in fact it just got louder. Finally he stood up and reluctantly walked to the door, pulling it open. Xandri stood in the doorway, hand raised to knock again. She was heavily bundle against the cold and the backpack she had on barely fit over the arms of her thick parka. Quinn stepped back from the doorway, allowing her to come in. He caught a glimpse of the smile that curled the corners of her mouth when he allowed her in.

"You look like the Stay-Puft monster from Ghost Busters," Quinn told her, helping her get off first her back pack, then her coat.

"It's cooooooold," Xandri whimpered, pulling off her scarf and gloves. "So, you finally decided to let me in, huh?"

Quinn shrugged. "You wouldn't stop knocking."

She took off the cap she was wearing and shook her hair out, then turned to look at him. He couldn't help thinking how cute she looked. Xandri never wore anything other than jeans if she could help it. Today she was also wearing a sweatshirt that was huge on her, hanging down to her knees. Her blue eyes were solemn and full of sorrow. What's going on? Quinn wondered, frowning. She looks like someone just died...oh, hell.

"Alastair told you," Quinn said.

"Yeah," Xandri replied softly. "Look I...maybe I shouldn't have asked. But he did have a right to tell me, you know. It involved him too."

"Did he tell you about Melissa, as well?" Quinn asked, turning away from her.

Xandri sighed. "Yes, he did. Quinn...maybe this is pointless but...I wish I could do something for you. Something to make you feel better..."

Quinn laughed. He knew it sounded cruel, but he couldn't help it. Oh, if she knew the truth, he thought, shaking his head. I wonder if Alastair has realized it yet. He turned back to face her and cursed himself for a fool. Those big, dark blue eyes were filled with hurt. Damnit, damnit, damnit, Quinn thought, stepping closer to her. I hate it when they do this. He reached out and touched her cheek gently.

"You shouldn't waste your time on me, little Xandri," Quinn said softly.

"It's not wasting my time," Xandri told him, sniffling just a bit. "Come with me...do you have some paper we can use?"

Quinn followed her curiously as she headed into his bedroom. "I have lots of newsprint laying around. Why?"

"I figured we could do something that might cheer you up," Xandri explained.

He watched her, puzzled, as she set her backpack down on the bed and opened it. Xandri pulled out a bunch of smallish jars and after staring at them for a long moment Quinn realized it was fingerpaint. Why the hell did she bring that? he wondered, his eyebrows lifting. She doesn't think I'm going to paint with it, does she? Apparently she did, because Xandri took the jars and deposited them in front of the easel.

"Come on," Xandri said, grinning. "Get that newsprint and let's go!"

Quinn frowned. "You can't be serious."

"I sure can," Xandri said stubbornly. "You never have any fun, Quinn. And you need to. So you have two choices: come over here and fingerpaint with me, and have some fun. Or I can leave and you can continue to sulk."

"And how is that bad for me?" Quinn asked.

"Well..." Xandri began.

She paused and grasped the hem of her sweatshirt, pulling it up over her head. Beneath it she was wearing only a thin, clingy white camisole. Xandri shook her hair back, then began opening the jars of fingerpaints. Suddenly Quinn was beginning to see exactly what she was getting at. Maybe others would find nothing arousing about running paint covered fingers down her bare body, but he sure did. Damnit, he thought, scowling. She knows exactly what she's doing...little brat.

"Fine," Quinn grumbled. "You win. For now."

She giggled soft. He retrieved a pad of newsprint from the closet and replaced the Bristol Board currently on his easel. Quinn pulled up a spare stool and settled behind Xandri. He could easily reach around her if he needed to, but he was uncertain. She, however, had no problem dipping her fingers into a jar of yellow paint and beginning what he soon realize was a large yellow sun in the top corner of the paper. Xandri paused long enough to give him a reproachful look.

Quinn sighed and gave in. He dipped his fingers reluctantly into the jar of blue and began streaking a sort of lake across the bottom of the paper. While Xandri added fluffy white clouds around her sun, he edged the water in white, giving it foamy rapids. I can't do anything without being anal about it, Quinn thought, scowling. Xandri had such simply, childlike delight in an activity like this, but he couldn't seem to feel the same.

As he was beginning the trunk of a tree she grabbed his wrist suddenly, knocking his hand to the side. Quinn cursed; now he had paint on his arm and his tree was messed up. He glared down into the large, unblinking blue eyes of Xandri. Little brat, he thought, frowning. He started working again, but every time he did something too perfect, Xandri knocked his hand aside, messing it up.

At first Quinn was furious with her. He wanted to stop. But Xandri simply pulled off the first piece of newsprint and moved onto the next. For awhile he watched her; what she did was so simplistic, but she was having fun. Finally, he reached down into the yellow paint and used it to make a rather lopsided looking duck in the pond Xandri was painting. Not that Quinn couldn't do realistic ducks, because he could. Just not with fingerpaints.

He allowed himself to relax and, much to his surprise, he actually started having fun. Their next "painting" was a silly looking monster. Xandri laughed when he put greenish, broken teeth in its wide mouth. And Quinn helped her with the odd horn she was trying to make; a single one in the middle of the creature's forehead that spiraled up, but more like a staircase than a unicorn horn.

"So, what do we call it?" Xandri asked, leaning back against him as he reached around her to put purple spots on the thing's face.

"Beats me," Quinn replied, shrugging. "Any ideas?"

"It's a Snorfle," Xandri said, smothering a giggle.

Quinn's eyebrows rose. "A Snorfle, huh? Okay...it's a Snorfle. And where do Snorfles come from?"

"Snorfleland, duh!" Xandri snorted, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

She turned to look at him, grinning. Quinn couldn't keep himself from laughing. He found her silliness today to be so refreshing. Xandri watched him, giggling herself, her blue eyes ever so bright. Little imp, he thought, finally sobering up. She knows she's winning tonight...but two can play this game.

"You've got paint on your nose," Quinn said quietly.

Frowning, Xandri reached up to rub her nose. The paint on her fingers, orange, red, blue and so on, had smeared together into a muddy brown-gray. She froze suddenly, her eyes widening, as she realized exactly what she'd done. Quinn chuckled as she pulled back her hand, revealing a smudge of brown on her nose. Xandri scowled and turned on the stool, making a grab for his face.

Quinn grasped her wrists tightly, but he wasn't able to stop her momentum. They tumbled together off the stool and she landed heavily on his stomach, knocking the air out of him.

"Ohhh, I'm so sorry!" Xandri exclaimed, scrambling out of him. "Are you okay?"

"F...fine," Quinn panted. "Come...come here..."

Xandri scooted close to him. As soon as she was within his reach he grabbed hold of her, pulling her down against him. She shrieked, but the sound was quickly muffled against his mouth. Her hands gripped his shirt, getting paint on it, but then he was getting paint on her, as well. Quinn sat up, but he didn't allow her to pull away. Her mouth was so soft and so sweet that he couldn't get enough.

Xandri rose onto her knees, pressing her mouth more firmly against his. Quinn was at first surprised, then pleased. He slid his hands beneath the flimsy camisole she was wearing and before she could protest, pulled it up and then off. She yelped, folding her arms over her chest.

"Come now," Quinn murmured. "It isn't like I haven't seen before."

"I don't see you taking anything off," Xandri grumbled.

Quinn shrugged. His shirt would need to be cleaned anyway, so he simply pulled it off. Xandri watched him with wide eyes. Slowly she allowed her arms to drop and reached out. He caught hold of her hands, pulling them up against his chest. He didn't care about the paint on them. Quinn lowered his mouth to hers once more, closing his arms around her and dragging her to the floor with him.

"Are you...ooo!" Xandri yelped as his teeth nipped her neck, cutting her off in mid-sentence. She laughed and tried again. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Depends," Quinn replied, propping himself up on an elbow. "My mood is better, but I feel kinda like I need a shower."

Xandri grinned. "I know what you mean. Would you believe me if I told you this wasn't what I intended when I brought the fingerpaint?"

"Not really," Quinn said, chuckling softly. "All right, little Xandri. Go take a shower. I'll put that in cold water for you...I know fingerpaints aren't supposed to stain, but white is white."

He picked up her camisole, which had paint all over it. Xandri nodded, folding her arms over her chest once more, and stood up to go into the bathroom. She paused for a moment and looked back over her shoulder at him. Quinn was oddly struck by that image of her; even the paint on her face didn't stop her from looking like an angel. Xandri looked up at him from beneath her lashes and he felt as though his whole body was on fire.

"When you've done that," she murmured. "Come and join me."

The bathroom door shut. Quinn blinked, for a moment unable to do anything but stand and stare at the door. A grin slowly curled the corners of his mouth. He whirled and dashed out of the bedroom, determined to return as quickly as possible.

*****

Xandri stood beneath the spray of the shower, trembling slightly. What am I doing? she wondered, biting her lip. I...I just invited him to...oh my god... It wasn't like she planned on sleeping with him or anything. She'd asked him to join her in the shower before she really thought about. Oh, damn, Xandri thought, leaning back against the shower wall. I don't understand why I feel this way... She was frustrated; it was hard to deal when her heart starting pounding every time she thought about him.

The bathroom door opened. Xandri froze. She couldn't bring herself to turn around. She heard the rustling of clothing, then cool air slid over her skin as the shower door was opened. Hands rested lightly on her shoulders. She leaned back against Quinn and his arms closed around her. Xandri sighed as his lips brushed the curve of her ear lightly. She dropped her hands into his.

"Thank you, little Xandri," Quinn murmured. "No one has taken this much time for me before..."

"Would you have let them?" Xandri asked quietly. She turned to face him. "You don't let anyone in. You wouldn't even tell Sada about this...doesn't it hurt to keep it in?"

"It's not something I like talking about," Quinn replied, his eyes darkening.

"All right," Xandri conceded with a sigh. "I won't push you. I just want you to feel better."

Quinn's eyebrows rose. A smile slowly curled the corners of his mouth. He bent down and pressed his mouth to hers. Xandri sank against him, opening her mouth to the gentle coaxing of his tongue. His hands slid down along her arms, down to her hips, making her feel as though she was on fire. Quinn backed her against the wall, and his mouth trailed along her neck, his tongue snaking out occasionally to lick drops of water from her skin.

Xandri shivered and moaned as she felt his hand slide against the outside of her thigh. The gentle stroking of his fingers coaxed her into slowly spreading her legs. Quinn slid his hand up against her and she gasped softly at the touch of his fingertips. She gripped his shoulders tightly; her knees felt wobbly and she was afraid they might give way. Xandri bit her lip, squirming up against the wall as his fingers teased soft, swollen flesh.