Come to the Carnival

It was carnival time again and Tara was going for it this year. She wasn't going to let her disability get in the way. For so long she had the urge to do it. She had seen so many other women do it she just wanted a taste of it.

Dreams had been filled with this subject. She had the same kind of dream for so long. There had two types of dreams Tara would have.

The first type of dream was a romantic type. These dreams would be about Fred. Fred came to work for Tara in 1990. He was an extremely skinny and a very extremely good looking Jamaican guy. He was about twenty seven when he started working. Tara didn't think much of him in the beginning. He didn't say much and his English was not that great. She took him on because at that time there was no other people applying for the job. For some reason she wasn't worried whether he would fit in, she just knew he was going to.

But that was so long ago now. He had started in February 1990. Stayed working for five years. And would have stayed for life, but Tara's life got complicated and she was forced to get Fred to leave.

Now, it was four years on and she missed Fred so much it hurt her. Her care staff were not like Fred in any shape or form. Tara couldn't help herself. She only really enjoyed being around a certain kind of people. People from Jamaican/African and other white people like herself who enjoyed this culture. The people around her at this time were certainly not like her. It was stifling and very sad. She craved for Fred.

So that year she had made plans. Big plans. She had asked her best mate if he could take her to carnival that year. Notting Hill Carnival was always a great event when she was growing up. Her first one she went to was when she was fifteen and she thought she had died and gone to heaven.

That shaped or helped shaped Tara's life. Hearing the music she loved to hear. Seeing people dance. And most of all watching women parade around with very little on. No, she certainly was not a lesbian. She didn't fancy women one bit. She was certainly a man's girl and for this reason she envied women who could get away with dancing, in the street, with extra little on. She absolutely longed to do this, but being disabled didn't allow her to do anything like this.

Until that year. That year she had planned in her little mind of how she was

going to search for Fred at Notting Hill Carnival.

Though, searching for Fred wasn't the only thing she planned to do that year at the carnival. She was tired of not being able to do as she pleased. This year she was going to dress up herself. Or dress down, which ever way people looked at it. She had always been a bit of an exhibitionist on the quiet. With a good figure she knew she had what it took to show it off.

So a few days before Bank Holiday Monday she went shopping with Petra, her favourite member of staff.

"So what will Madam be wearing on this sunny hot day?" Petra asked as she locked up the flat.

"Something short and slinky." Tara blurted out. She knew she had to make herself be as brave as she could and that meant telling Petra straight. Tara knew that she could do almost do anything with this assistant.

"Wow! Let's go then! Do you know which shops you want to go to? Ann Summers maybe?" Petra asked with a smile.

"No, nothing tacky. I want something stylish." Tara said as she felt the warm sensation flow through her body. She couldn't help herself. She could see an image in her mind and she longed to be that image more than anything in the world. "Let's go to Dorathy Perkins first. I like their stuff."

"OK. Let's go and get that taxi then!" Petra said wheeling Tara out into the fresh so-called summer's day.

Oxford Street was jammed packed with moving fast people. A wheelchair in the midst of everything wasn't an easy task. She normally went to the West End with Phil. Petra was a bit rusty at dodging people's legs and Tara cringed at the dirty looks she received from people who got knocked.

"Sorry, sorry there. Excuse us. Sorry, we don't want to knock you." Tara said as she was being pushed.

"Get out the way!" Petra said under her breath, but none too quietly. Tara couldn't help but laugh and this didn't do any favours for either of them. People tutted and huffed.

Eventually they reached the shop. Tara's eyes roamed around the store like people did when they were in a candy shop. She adored clothes shopping, but this trip was extra special.

"See anything you fancy?" Petra asked as she wheeled Tara around in and out of isles.

"Yeah, loads!" Tara said. She eventually stopped at some dress that she liked the look of. It was thin cotton and she loved the colour pink. She picked a dark pink out and Petra held it to Tara's beautiful figure.

"Do you want to try it on?" Petra asked.

"No, it'll be fine. Let's go and pay." Tara said. She could feel herself get excited just by thinking about putting the dress on and how it would feel when it began to rise up. She had to stop thinking about it or else she was going to climax right there in the shop.

"OK." Petra said.

"Pizza?" Tara asked her mate as they came out of the shop. "Sounds great! I'm starving!" Petra sung. "You lead the way. You come here more often than me."

"You're joking, right? I rely on Phil. He knows these streets like the back of his hand. OK then. Lets try this way." Tara pointed to the left of her.

They arrived back late that night because they decided to go on to a club.

That was a week ago. A long whole week. The day had come. Bank holiday Monday. Tara woke up early that morning. She was so excited that she had very little sleep. It wasn't just the normal excitement. This was sexual excitement. Mixed with fear. Fear that it could all go wrong and Phil would notice what she was up to. If this happened everything would go to shit and Tara would feel dirty and disgusted with herself.

Though, that wasn't going to happen. This was going to be her day. She wanted this for so long. She had to pull it off. So to speak.

"What time is Phil coming?" A voice disturbed her thoughts. This made her jump.

"Oh, sorry. About 1pm he said. Thanks. I was miles away." Tara said. She yawned and rubbed her eyes.

"Didn't you sleep?" Jaz asked.

"Not very well actually. Weird! I'll wake up after I've had a shower. Give me a cold shower!" Tara said laughing. Only she knew why she wanted a cold shower.

"Oh OK. You asked for it."

"No, only kidding!" Tara giggled.

"Nope, you've asked for it now. Ready?" Jaz asked as she wheeled Tara to the bathroom.

Tara dressed herself in exactly what she had planned to. A tight pink t.shirt material dress to show off her big full breasts. She didn't wear a bra. None of her staff interfered with the way she wanted to dress. So when Tara put on the shortest dress she ever wore Jaz didn't utter a word. In any case, it was carnival day. If people couldn't dress up when it was carnival day when could they dress up?

"There? How do you feel? You look absolutely the dog's bollocks!? Jaz said as she stood back and looked at Tara.

"Yuk! I do hope not." Tara screwed her nose in disgust. Only joking though. "Do I look fine?" Tara asked.

"Yes, you look dam fine. Who are you hoping to meet?" Jaz asked.

"Huh?" Tara asked not prepared for that question from Jaz. She wasn't aware she had talked to Jaz about anything of this nature.

"Oh I thought you were meeting up with old friends or something." Jaz said as she combed Tara's hair.

"Yes, I'm hoping to bump into a few people. I hope to anyway." She didn't want to talk about it really, but she didn't want to seem rude either. So she made a lot of it up. "I'm hoping school mates will be there." She lied. Spilling the beans to any of the staff was a no no. they knew too much as it was, but only because she couldn't keep her gob shut at times. Bill was forever telling her she should become more hidden about her life. She would go to him crying that her staff knew too much, but he knew it was her own fault.

Perhaps now, she would learn her lesson.

Phil came at the time he said he would come. They had known each other for nearly thirty years had Tara and Phil. So when they did meet up there was no big fuss. They knew each other too well. The staff always greeted him with a fuss though. Everyone thought Phil was so nice, which he was. One of the nicest people anyone could meet.

"Hiya Phil. How's it going?" Jaz asked as she let him in.

"Oh hiya, nice to see you again Jaz. I'm great thanks." Phil breezed in all cheerful like he normally did.

"She's all ready and waiting for Ya." Jaz said. Tara cringed inside at the falseness of it all. She was over the top was Jaz, she meant well, but Tara didn't like it when she was an extra nice.

"Oh hiya Tara." Phil said.

"Hi. Hows you?" Tara asked. She tried to suppress her irritation. She just wanted to get going, but rudeness wasn't her game these days.

They all had a drink and a chat before Tara and Phil sailed out into the sun filled afternoon.

"So I won't expect you back for at least the early hours of the morning then." Jaz said as she got Tara ready to go.

"You'll be lucky mate! We're old cronies now, we don't stay out past seven PM do we Phil?" Tara said as she concentrated getting her dress right.

"Speak for yourself you old crony. I'm still twenty five, me!" Phil said as he pretended to flick his hair back. Something he always did when joking. This made Jaz roar with laughter. A lot of what Jaz did was fake, but she really did like Phil.

"Right, I think I'm ready." Tara said not wanting to break up the little party, but time was moving on and she just wanted to get going.

With her shawl over her lap no one could ever guess her legs were showing right up to the tops.

They arrived at the carnival an hour and a half later. The streets were jam packed. Tara felt panic, but she reminded herself that it being packed like this meant she could get away with more than with just a few people around. Just the thought of all that turned her on cause redness in her cheeks. Trying to relax she allowed Phil to push her into the crowd of sweaty people. It was steaming hot, but no sun was shining. It was overcast and it look as if it was going to rain.

Tara began to feel the heat and she had to take the shawl off her legs sooner or later. There was no time like the present and slowly she folded the material up to expose her lilly-white legs.

At first she panicked and kept the shawl on the part she knew was now exposed. The roads were bumpy so Tara was being thrown around. This made her forget holding on to the shawl and it fell to the ground. Phil wasn't aware, but some gorgeous guy did and he bent down and passed it back to Tara. She was so concerned about getting her 'thank you' across that she had forgotten about her dress riding further up her legs. The guy had noticed though and she saw that he was lingering around her. The crowd wasn't going anywhere fast. The noise was deafening.

And then it dawned on Tara. The same guy was still hanging around and he was looking directly at her. He was looking her up and down and she knew exactly why.

Phil was too engrossed in keeping the wheelchair safe. He was enjoying the atmosphere. Whistles and bangs were going off everywhere. No conversation could be had and so Tara went into her own little world.

She glanced down and saw that her dress had risen right up. The guy had noticed too. He was giving her a stare that he was turned right on. Getting his mobile from his pocket Tara wondered how on earth he was going to hold a conversation in this racket.

That was when Tara suddenly clicked on what was happening. The guy wasn't about to talk to anyone on the phone, but he was holding his mobile open and directing it at her.

He was taking a photo of her. The thrill and fear exploded in her. He indicated for her to open her legs for him to get a better look and a better picture. She didn't at first. She tried ignoring him, but he wasn't giving up. Tara's head was spinning. Feeling completely helpless she couldn't get up and run, but she knew she didn't want to run away. So she did as she was asked and parted and lifted one leg. This way he would get a proper sexy view and no one else knew what was happening. Tara stayed where she was for a minute or two while she had her photo taken. This was not good, she told herself.

It ended and Tara thought that would be the end of that, but she was wrong. He dared to come up and chat to her. At first she tried to pretend she wasn't interested, he knew she was interested and he stayed around. She looked up at Phil, but he just smiled at her encouraging the situation. He would. He knew she loved to play danger as long as she was safe, if that made sense.

So Phil pushed Tara along with the slow moving crowd while her new found friend walked along beside them. He was a smiler Tara noticed. He hadn't stopped smiling since the photo shoot.

"Fuck!" Tara suddenly shouted, but luckily no one heard. She suddenly had an awful thought that Phil had seen the whole thing. She felt sick at the thought. But then she just pulled herself together and told herself that she was being paranoid. Of course he hadn't seen anything. No one had. Everyone was enjoying their part of the carnival.

"So do I get your number now?" The very attractive guy asked boldly.

"What?" Tara asked as she laughed.

"I want your number." He repeated.

"You can have my email address." Tara said. She looked up at Phil to indicate to him to give her one of her cards. Phil did with delight. The guy took it and placed it in his trouser pocket. Tara followed his hand and that was when she saw that he had a massive hard-on. She stared at it and then looked up at him. He smiled back and they were locked in a stare.