Coming Out with the Truth Ch. 07

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I squeezed his hand and drew a deep calming breath. "I just need to get out of the crowd, babe." I answered. Keith smiled, nodded.

I heaved a sigh of relief as we past the oval, felt some of the tension I'd been carrying leave my neck and shoulders. Keith leant against me as we walked, smiled up at me with a goofy grin, and I felt better.

Some of the boys were playing around with a couple of soccer balls. One came in our direction. I half expected Keith to run and get it but he left it, and two boys sprinted over.

One of them stopped. Joel looked at both of us, looked at Keith with a question in his eyes.

"He's out." Keith laughed, grinning. Obviously holding hands wasn't clue enough. All the same, the words hit me hard.

I was out.

After spending what felt like my whole life so far hiding from the truth, I was out.

Joel grinned at us, then sprinted back off with the others.

"What, he knew?" I asked suddenly. It didn't matter; I was just surprised.

"Yeah." Keith answered with a smile. "He saw us. In the shed that time."

"What the hell was he doing in your back yard?" I demanded.

"I don't actually know. I didn't ask." Keith said, sounding surprised.

I looked at him and laughed. He smiled and I took the chance to kiss him.

We walked quickly to my house in silence. I hoped his thoughts were occupied with the same things mine were.

I was glad my house was clean. I'd done quite a bit of cleaning over the last few weeks. I'd needed a distraction and now I was extra happy I'd chosen domestic chores rather than some project in my shed.

I shut the door behind us and pushed Keith against the wall. I couldn't believe he was here. I couldn't believe that he'd forgiven me already, that he was looking at me with an expression I'd really thought I'd never see on his face again.

He parted his lips and moved as if to meet me for a kiss, but I passed over his mouth and kissed along his cheekbone. Keith groaned, but his hands gripped my shoulders firmly. I bit his ear and felt him shiver, but he arched his neck to give me better access. I nibbled my way down the graceful line of his throat, delicately licked that spot below his ear I liked so much, then trailed my tongue to the corner of his neck and shoulder. I bit him, loved his gasp and the way his hands flexed on my shoulders. I sucked his smooth warm skin hard, heard him moan and pant before I moved back and licked the love bite I'd given him. He was going to have a few more of those before I was done.

I slid my hands under his shirt and stroked my hands up his torso as I pulled his shirt over his head. I took the opportunity to look him over again. He'd lost weight. His ribs were showing more, his jeans hung lower on his hips. I kicked myself inwardly. I'd done this to him.

"It doesn't matter." Keith whispered, kissing my face. He'd obviously figured out what I was looking at.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again anyway, and lowered my lips back to his skin. I made a special point of kissing every single one of his ribs. I was going to learn how to cook properly. I was going to feed him up again. This time, I was going to give him everything.

I slowly kissed my way down the centre of his stomach. I flickered my tongue in and out of his belly button, loved the way his body arched and his muscles flinched. I moved lower, listening to the hitch in his breathing, but I only reached the waist of his jeans before I stood up again and claimed his lips for a deep, demanding kiss. Keith wrapped his arms around me and pressed himself closer. I freed his hair from its tie, slid my fingers over his scalp. Keith moaned softly.

"Shoes off." I murmured and we struggled to get them off while remaining clinging to each other. "Couch." I hissed then, and we stumbled across the room to the couch. I lay on top of Keith, straddled his legs and rubbed my denim clad erection against his. He jerked and moaned and I bit his nipple to make him thrash even more.

"John," he groaned. "John..." I sucked his skin and enjoyed the way he caught his breath, intent upon grinding against him until he came. Who cared if he didn't have any other clothes with him? Seeing him wear mine all day tomorrow knowing his were stained with cum would be hot as hell.

Keith whimpered at the same moment there was a knock. We both stopped still. I did not want to answer the door. Not now. Not for at least eighteen hours. I bent my head to kiss Keith again, but the knocking returned, more insistent.

"I heard you!" A voice called loudly. "I know you're in there."

I swore and reluctantly got up, tried to adjust my crotch so I looked half way decent opening the door but I think I failed.

It was Sarah. She pushed past me into the house and saw Keith. He was just sitting up from where he'd been lying on the couch. His hair was beautifully mussed already, and if that and his swollen lips weren't proof enough of what we'd been doing then his shirtless state and the vivid love bites I'd just given him were a small clue.

I stood silently. This was what I'd been dreading.

Sarah looked between us for long moments, then finally sucked in a breath.

"So it's true." She said faintly.

I nodded. She stared at me like I was a stranger.

"Sarah," I said gently, afraid and sick at the thought she might hate me. She was different from the rest of my family, though. Surely...

"I can see I'm interrupting." She said frostily, and turned back to the door.

"Barbecue." Keith said rather stupidly. I blinked.

"Right. Sarah. Barbecue at Keith's. Lunchtime tomorrow. You'll come?" I felt like I was begging. She pursed her lips and looked me up and down. Christ.

She adjusted her bag over her arm and turned to go without a response.

"John?" Keith asked. He was probably wondering why I was watching my sister head back to her car when he was sitting half naked on my couch. And now I was wondering that too.

"C'mon, babe." I said, holding my hand out to him and shutting and bolting the door. No more interruptions. "Let's go to my room."

"John." Keith said very softly. I looked at him. His expression was serious. He beckoned me back to the couch and I found my legs carrying me there.

He looked so worried, so sad. Seeing his expression brought everything back.

"John, my love," Keith whispered, standing up and wrapping his arms around me. I didn't want him to see my face, didn't want him to see my tears. I pressed my face against the side of his neck. "It's ok," he breathed, rubbing my shoulders like I'd rubbed his. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"What for?" I asked. My voice was rough, but I blinked rapidly and pulled back to look at him. Why should he be sorry?

Keith looked up at me, dull fear in his eyes. I swallowed hard. He reached out and cupped the side of my face. "I'm sorry things aren't easy. I'm sorry Sarah -- she probably just needs to get her head around it, though. It's a big change. And I'm sorry your family is..."

"No." I shook my head and kissed him. I did not need him to doubt me. Not now. "I love you." I managed. "I want this. I don't regret this. But it's still..."

"I know." He answered softly, squeezing my fingers. "It's not going to be easy. But you can do it. I'm here."

I wrapped him in my arms. I wasn't going back. I wanted him to know what this meant to me; what he meant to me.

Keith held me close, then pulled away. "Let's make a drink." He said softly, pulling me by my hand into my kitchen.

"Cups?" he asked, flicking the kettle on. I got them out of the cupboard and passed them over. "Tea? Coffee? Hot chocolate? Do you have any chocolate powder?"

"No."

"What? Not even Milo?" I laughed shakily.

"Nope, not even."

"Huh." Keith said, blinking at me, as if he'd taken it for granted that everyone in the country surely had a tin of Milo stashed away somewhere. I laughed again. "How about real chocolate? Any of that?"

"Yeah." I pulled a block of good chocolate out of the cupboard and his eyes lit up. He grinned at me and took it. I watched him set things up to melt the chocolate and my mouth watered.

"I missed you so much." I told him.

Keith turned around and hugged me tight. "I missed you too." He murmured into my chest.

He finally gave a deep, happy sigh and looked up at me. He gave me a kiss, then turned to open the fridge.

He stopped with his hand on the door.

My fridge was where I stuck important photos. And obviously he'd seen them.

After a moment I pulled him back into my arms, holding him close against me.

If I wanted to share my life with him, then I had to be honest with him. I had to learn to talk to him.

I cleared my throat. "This is my eldest brother, Al." I said softly. "His wife, Penny. And their kids. Charlie and Oliver. That's Jonathan there, he snuck in. He's in this one with Sarah and Chris and Cal and Jessie as well. And this is my other older brother, Mike, with his wife, Marie. And their kids, Sam, Will and Lewis."

"All boys?" Keith sounded surprised. Apart from Sarah's one little girl, he was right.

"Yeah." I agreed. "You should be around at Christmas time." The whole house full of them, hyper on presents and sugar...

Except that this year I doubted that I'd be invited at all.

I drew a deep breath but I couldn't hold back my grief. These kids were so much a part of my life... the only reasons I saw my brothers at all. "I'll probably never see them again." I admitted to Keith roughly.

"Hey," Keith said softly, turning around, but his eyes were sad and he didn't have anything else to add. Instead he just held me tight and let me crush him against me.

I loved him more than I'd ever thought possible.

We didn't make it to the bedroom. We got close, but I was pulling his clothes off as we went, which rather slowed our progress. Then I pushed him against the wall and started my oral exploration of his body all over again.

"John, love," Keith hissed on a shuddering breath. He came hard and I swallowed it all, let him thrust into my throat as he peaked. I'd gotten a whole lot better at that.

I caught him as he slid against the wall and kissed him softly.

To have him here, in my house, in my arms... this was a gift. I almost couldn't believe this was happening.

He smiled at me, a secretive smile, full of wickedness and love and life. "You never brought anyone home before?" He breathed.

I shook my head.

His smile grew and he slid a hand down my chest, over my stomach, inside the waistband of my jeans. "Make love to me in your bed." He whispered tenderly, rubbing my cockhead lightly with his fingertips.

I nodded, watched his face. He looked wildly happy. Happier than I'd ever seen him.

It made my chest all tight. It made me scared, which seemed ridiculous considering he was here and he'd forgiven me for my idiocy. How could I not have been this scared of losing him before?

I stared at him for a moment, I guess until he realised I wasn't really with him anymore. Then Keith wrapped his arms around my neck and held me tight.

"I missed you so much." I found myself repeating. "I can't tell you how happy I am that you're here, how much I need you and how-"

"Hey," he whispered, sliding his fingers into my hair and kissing my cheeks, rubbing his nose against mine. "John, it's ok. It's fine. I'm here. I love you." He was kissing my lips again and I pushed him back against the wall so I could kiss him more deeply as instinct took over.

Keith giggled softly, looking at me through his lashes. "Take me to bed, lover." He said coyly.

My bed was fairly old and obviously needed something tightening. Of course, by the time I was inside him and the squeaking was particularly noticeable I wasn't about to do anything about it. Especially not with the way Keith was pulling me deeper inside him, pleading in whispers for more.

"Harder," he moaned, and I laughed into his neck.

"Babe, I'm afraid the bed might fall apart," I admitted to him. Keith giggled, stroking his hands up my belly and chest, teasing my nipples.

"You can sleep in mine," he offered, reaching above his head with one hand to brace himself on the headboard, and reaching the other hand behind my head.

"And what if we break the wall, too?" I asked between breaths. The bed was hitting it with increasing regularity.

"Move in with me," Keith gasped. "Wake up with me every morning."

"Really?" I asked. I was so close.

"Yes... John..." Keith groaned, suddenly giving a cry.

"Yes..." I moaned as he came hard between us, his legs tightening around me. I hissed it again as I came deep inside him.

I slowly let my weight rest on top of him, Keith's arms wrapped around me.

"Did you mean it?" I asked as we caught our breath.

Keith looked at me, smiled.

"Of course I meant it. I'm not living in your teeny brick bungalow when I bought the nicest house ever just the other side of town and spent months getting it the way I like it. But you don't have to right away."

I looked down at him. What was this house anyway, other than a place to come home to after work? Keith's house was a home, a place to live. I imagined setting up my stuff in that garage out in his yard, putting my dvds on the shelf next to his, fighting with him over whose furniture we were going to keep and which cupboard in the kitchen was best for what and I was suddenly sure that that was what I wanted.

"Yeah." I said slowly. I wasn't sure if I was exhilarated or terrified or maybe even both, but my mind was made up. I was in this, and I was in this wholeheartedly. I was throwing myself into this with everything I had and everything I was, starting now. "I guess we had better wait a bit." He nodded, but I thought he looked slightly disappointed.

"Yeah." He agreed. "What you did today... that was a pretty big step." I grinned at him.

"I think it just might be a bit tricky moving my stuff over while you've still got a house full of guests." I told him, ignoring what he'd said.

Keith licked his lips. "What?" He said dumbly.

"When are they all going home?" I asked.

"Uh, most of them on Sunday or Monday but... they'll all be gone by Friday."

"Good." I said, kissing him lightly. "Friday it is."

Keith:

Waking up spooned against John for only the second time was one of my two top morning wake ups ever.

For someone who'd never really spent the night with anyone, he was really really good at knowing exactly how to lie so we were both comfy. I woke up with John right up close behind me, his arm loosely around me.

I sighed, planning on lying there a lot longer. I loved this time of morning. The cosiness and sleepy arousal. John made a shushing noise and kissed the back of my neck which made me giggle.

"Morning." I whispered.

"Hi." He answered, finding my hand under the blankets and twining our fingers. "You're awake."

"Uh huh." I agreed. I was so warm and so comfortable and so relaxed.

John kissed the back of my neck gently, nuzzled my shoulder.

I woke up some more. Was he just feeling frisky or did he need something more along the lines of reassurance? Comfort?

"How do you feel?" I whispered, shifting onto my back so I could see him. I touched his cheek and saw the sudden look of pain in his eyes.

"Fine." He said instantly. It seemed more of a reflex than a real answer. I stroked his cheek and John let out a breath sharply, let his head drop and rest against my shoulder.

"Kind of shocked." He admitted really quietly, shifting onto me and holding me. I ran my fingers through his hair. I felt oddly calm- John had never talked about these sorts of things before. This was moving forward. "This is... a wonderful way to wake up. But I... Keith... I-"

I kissed the side of his head and cradled him against me.

"It's ok," I told him softly, pressing another kiss to his head. "I know. It'll be ok, though. Right now, it's hard, but... you did an amazing thing for me, and I will never, ever forget it. But it did happen fast and you're going to need some time. But I understand, and I'm here for you. And you can talk to me about anything."

John looked up at me with a smile, looking a lot more relaxed. "You're amazing." He told me.

I blinked. I wasn't used to John telling me things like that. "Thanks." I said with an awkward laugh.

John grinned at me. "Seriously." He said. "You are. Everyone can see it. And- I love you."

"I love you." I repeated, my heart swelling, smiling like an idiot. He leant over me, brushed a kiss against my lips.

"I don't think I ever did anything to deserve you." John murmured.

I laughed. "That's not how it works."

"Good. I guess I'll stop worrying about that then."

"Do you worry about that?" I asked, surprised. I traced the curve of his eyebrow and the side of his face.

"I did," John finally answered. "I... But I don't think I'll worry about that so much now that- now that I'm out."

I couldn't help the grin that took over my face. Luckily John grinned back at me.

He kissed me again, hungrily this time. I felt the way he rubbed his hips against mine, found that slow arousal suddenly making the leap into full hardness. I held him close as we rubbed against each other for long moments. The morning felt warm, and the light was golden. This felt like the perfect start to the first day of the rest of our lives.

I pulled back and rolled to retrieve the condoms and lube from his bedside table.

John moved up right behind me, kissing my shoulders.

"Can we get rid of these?" I found myself asking. "Go and get tested and never use them again?" John's mouth curved into a smile. I'd never asked in all the months we'd been together, since I'd been pretty sure he'd have refused on the basis that going to his doctor and asking for a test would have revealed something he wasn't prepared for.

"Sounds good," he murmured back. His fingers slid down the centre of my back, down to my pucker. "I need you so much," he breathed against my neck.

"Need you too." I responded, passing him the condom and smiling at him. I was on my side, my shoulders twisted in the opposite direction to my hips. John was behind me, but I could kiss him, and his groin was right behind my butt.

"I don't think I could do this without you." John whispered, an odd catch in his tone. I turned to look at him more. His eyes were dark. Afraid?

"I'm here," I whispered back, reaching back and touching his cheek, drawing him into a kiss. "I'm here for you. Always, John." He claimed my lips and kissed me with passion and need. I reached down and found him fumbling to put on the condom. I helped him roll it down his length and gave him a gentle squeeze. He groaned softly and kissed me again. "Here, my love," I slicked him up with lube and then hooked my top leg behind his.

"Keith," John breathed my name as I guided him home. I was still relaxed enough from the last night's love making that I took him in without difficulty. "Keith," he groaned softly.

"There," I managed, drawing air deep into my lungs and clutching the pillow with my other arm. "That's it. All the way, John."

John let out a soft noise somewhere between a whimper and a moan, placed his hand over mine and moved his hips until his skin was flush with mine. "Keith," he repeated again, his voice rough.

"I've got you." I kissed him softly. "I've got you, John." He filled me, held me tight.

"Ouunghh... Keith. I'm so sorry... I missed you so much..." He seemed to be becoming more emotional and not less. "I love you and I messed up so bad," he went on, squeezing me closer instead of making love to me.

"Hush," I reached back again and cradled the side of his face. I felt the wetness on his cheek against mine. "We're here now. It's ok, John. Everything's ok." He drew deep breaths and I fought the urgency rising within me. Rocked my hips back against his to try and gently remind him what he was supposed to be doing.