Community Property

I poured a trail of lighter fluid from the power strip to the gas filled alcohol cans and smiled. The timer was set for tomorrow morning while the four...three of us would be playing golf.

This was only the beginning of Jeff's problems. I smiled thinking about it. Of course, the police would think it was arson.

As soon as I got back into my car, I opened my radio shack telephone voice disguiser and hooked it up to the track phone I'd bought at the gas station this morning. I called Jeff's office in a loud and angry voice. "What kind of fucking doctor are you?" I shouted. The voice manipulation software made my voice seem deeper and almost alien like. "I sent my guy over to torch your office like you wanted but you haven't paid the frigging money. I've never seen a doctor as cheap as you are. If I don't have my money by tomorrow, I'll be burning your fucking house down next, with you in it."

I pulled the battery out of the phone and dropped it into the sewer. I drove around and tossed the voice distorter into a fire that a couple of homeless guys were sitting around. I gave them each a couple of dollars and watched as the plastic box melted and burned until there was almost nothing left of it.

Then I drove home.

"Where were you?" asked Julie reaching out to grab my arm. I gently pulled away from her.

"I stopped off at the hospital to visit Bert," I said. She looked at me and then smiled. She tried to hide the smile. Knowing the way her brain worked or thinking that I did. I could tell that she was happy that I'd gone to check on Bert. That meant that I was still in the dark about what was going on with Bert and the others. I mean who would go to check on someone he thought was fucking his wife. On the other hand, the growing coldness I was showing her was bothering her more and more.

I'd noticed over the past few days that she'd began drinking more. Maybe that wasn't due only to what was going on between us. I had a feeling that a lot of that had to do with the fact that she'd gone from willing slut to coerced whore over the past few days as well. Plus the fact that the guys had literally talked about her like she wasn't there when they ran down all of her deficiencies in front of her.

She literally had no one to turn to. She couldn't talk to them because they were the ones who'd put her in her current fix. She couldn't talk to her girlfriends because they were married to the men she was fucking and for once she couldn't even come to me, her faithful and supportive puppy dog of a husband who'd indulged her every fucking whim since I set eyes on her. The pressure was quickly turning her into an alcoholic. And I hoped the bitch choked on it.

As she went to make dinner, I remade her drink making it far stronger. All through dinner I made sure her glass was never empty.

After dinner when she moved over to me and started making cow eyes at me, I moved away from her.

"Liam, why are you pulling away from me?" she asked. Her voice was tinged with both frustration and suspicion. The way she slurred her words let me know that she was drunk or close to it.

"It's been days," she said. "And I want it now."

"I told you I've been having some problems at work," I said. "I still haven't decided whether or not to take that promotion."

"I thought we'd settled that," she slurred. "You're taking the promotion. We'll have more money and more time together. Then you can stay your ass home and get me pregnant. In fact we ought to be starting that process right now." Just as she said right now, she tried to get up and fell onto the floor.

"I drink I'm thunk," she said and then started laughing. I helped her to her feet and carried her to the bedroom.

"That's what I wanted," she said. "Take me to bed and fuck the shit out of me." Then she started laughing again. "Liam, do you like my titties?" she asked. "Does Paula have better tits than me?"

"I've never seen Paula's," I said.

"Is Amanda prettier than I am?" she asked. "You've seen her before...way back when."

"I saw Amanda a few days ago," I said. "She's in town right now visiting her family."

That seemed to sober her up quickly or maybe it was just a moment of lucidity. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked loudly.

"It was no big deal," I said. "We ran into each other while I was out running last Sunday morning. I'm supposedly having lunch with her someday this week to talk."

"I don't think so," she snapped. "No unsupervised lunches with old girlfriends."

"Julie, she's a nun," I said. "It's not like something is going to happen. Besides you don't get to control me. You don't get to decide who I can and can't speak to or hang out with. Have I ever told you what you can and can't do with your old friends?" She quickly dropped the conversation. Even drunk she was afraid to open that subject up to discussion, but the guilt on her face was crushing.

"I love you Liam," she said. "I really do. You know that, right?" I just nodded. If she was expecting me to say it back she was out of luck.

"I mean we're not like some couples," she started again. "We're not just together because we don't want to be alone, right?"

"Why would you even ask me that?" I asked. "Julie, you're drunk aren't you."

"Well, even drunk you could still fuck me," she said.

I put her into our bed and took her clothes off. By the time I was done undressing her she was purring away.

When I woke up the next morning, I quickly rolled over next to her. I spooned against her so that my naked penis was lodged between her ass cheeks.

I listened to her breathing and slowly moved against her until she woke up. As she woke up I pretended that I was asleep.

She turned to me and smiled. I popped my eyes open and smiled back at her. I reached over and kissed her on her cheek. "Last night was great honey," I said sleepily.

"It was?" she said questioningly.

I nodded at her with a big smile on my face. "I especially like the way we got into the shower together after we were done and just let the water run down over us while we hugged. We must have stood there together under the warm water for at least an hour before I carried you back to bed."

The confused look on her face was priceless. She was remembering me carrying her to bed but she didn't remember us having sex or taking a shower.

"It really was good," she lied. "So good that I'm ready for more, right now," she said grabbing my dick. "And you're ready too. Don't you want to put this thing back in its hole?"

"Oh shit," I yelled, jumping up.

"What's wrong?" she asked, sitting up.

"You have to stop doing that to me. You get me in a comfortable and sexy mood and I just forget everything. I have to be at the golf course in a little while. I have to get dressed and get out of here. I don't even have time to eat."

I jumped out of the bed and threw on some clothes. I ran into the bathroom and shaved and brushed my teeth. I grabbed my golf clubs. I had to drive our Jeep, because my clubs wouldn't fit into the Mustang's trunk. I waved goodbye to Julie and left. I could tell she was thinking and trying to remember what had happened. I decided then to ramp up her alcohol intake even more.

I actually got to the golf course before Jeff and Greg did. I had a sandwich in the clubhouse and hit a bucket of balls at the driving range. I was down to my last couple of balls when they came over to me. "Hey, no fair practicing," said Greg.

"I needed to," I smirked. "You guys have always had more balls than I do."

Jeff laughed but Greg didn't. He studied me nervously and then smiled, but only a bit. We were just in time to tee off. Since we didn't have a foursome, we allowed another guy that we'd seen at the club to play with us. After about six holes I made an announcement. "Hey guys," I said. "It's ten AM why don't we play the next three, then break for lunch before we do the back nine?"

"That sounds like a plan," said Jeff. "Since I seem to be losing anyway, maybe a break will change my luck."

And that's what we did. We were sitting in the clubhouse trying to decide whether or not to raise the stakes to a full dollar per stroke or to keep it at fifty cents, when one of the staff came running over to Jeff. "Doctor Martin," she said excitedly. "There's an urgent phone call for you. It's your wife."

Jeff had a shit eating grin on his face as he took the phone. "The little woman probably can't wash her stomach with those big tits in the way. She probably needs me to come home and lift them for her."

"What!" he yelled. "When? I'll be right there."

Then he turned to look at us. The concern written on his face made me want to laugh out loud.

"Are you going to need any help lifting those titties, Jeff?" I asked. He looked at me like I was stupid.

"My clinic burned down this morning," he snapped. "I have to go over there now."

"Sorry Jeff," I said. "I was just joking. Do you want us to come with you?"

"Could you please?" he asked. The three of us said goodbye to our new friend and headed for the place where Jeff's clinic used to be. Paula was there talking to the police and the fire department when we all pulled up.

Jeff ran over and looked around. He was livid. He kept looking at everything. The pain on his face didn't begin to come close, to what I'd felt when I discovered what he and my other supposed friends had been doing to me, but it was a good down payment. The emotions running across his face were priceless. I wished I could mentally record them and play them back. Everyone has heard of the five stages of grief. Jeff invented the five stages of stupidity.

He went from anger, to resignation, to elation, to realization, to depression in seconds.

Greg and I joined Jeff as the fire chief spoke to him. "It looks like a faulty appliance started an alcohol fire in a room full of paper. The fire spread to the rest of the building. He looked at Jeff strangely. It started at around ten o clock according to a guy in the supermarket across the street. He was gathering shopping carts in the market's parking lot and noticed the flames from your building," said the fire chief.

"They're probably going to want to know where you were at ten AM this morning. It's just the normal routine though. This was obviously an accident."

"Me and two of my best friends were playing golf," said Jeff. "We have another guy who played with us and most of the staff at the club can prove that I was there. None of us ever left there once we started playing at about eight thirty."

The clinic was burnt to the ground. It was considered a total loss. Jeff was distraught. He was barely making a dent in his mortgage on the place. All of Jeff's medical equipment had been relatively new and he was still paying for it as well. My buddy Jeff was as cheap as they come which was why he was so distraught.

When Jeff first ran up and saw that his clinic had burned to the ground, he'd been angry. He tried to figure out whom and what had caused it to happen. Then he became resigned that it had happened and realized that he'd just have to make the best of it. He was elated for a while because he might just be able to make his situation better. He could over estimate the value of his equipment to the insurance company and also get the value of several pieces of equipment that he really didn't use very often, but not replace them. He'd use that money to buy things that he really did need. And since the clinic would need to be rebuilt, he'd have it designed better than it was.

Then he realized that although the clinic was heavily insured, he didn't have any fire insurance. That sent him into depression, because Jeff would still have to pay for everything that had been destroyed but he'd have to pay for it out of pocket. Plus he'd have to come up with the money to build a new clinic.

He was already so heavily in debt it just didn't seem possible. By the time the fire crews left the scene, Jeff was on his knees in the rubble doing his best Nancy Kerrigan impression. "Whyyyyyyyy?" he screamed.

If Jeff only knew, his troubles were only beginning. I don't think he'd have the energy to even scream.

Greg shook his head as he looked at me. I smiled just a bit and I saw a shiver run through him. "I guess he lost it," he said.

"Not quite yet," I replied. Greg didn't say a word his eyes got big and he nodded his head.

"See you later, Liam," he said. He got into his car and drove off.

I had my plans in store for good old Greg too. But I wanted to savor it and tie it into the rest of Jeff's downfall. Looking back on it, that was a mistake. But it still worked out.

I decided to go ahead and take care of Julie because she would be part of the rest of Jeff's fate.

I went back to the area where I'd paid the two homeless guys to watch me burn the voice manipulator. I looked around until I found the guy I was looking for. He didn't seem to be on drugs or alcohol, just down on his luck.

I asked him if he was willing to take a risk for a chance to start his life over again. He looked at me like I was crazy and then started telling me the story of his fucking life. "Seriously buddy," he said. "I'm not looking for a handout, just a hand."

I walked away from him quickly. He wasn't the guy I was looking for. The next guy I went over to had a permanently pissed off look on his face. None of the other homeless guys would go near him. Surprisingly, he was the only one who didn't stink.

"What?" he asked as I stepped up to him. "Just what the fuck do you want? Tell that bitch that whatever she wants she ain't getting it." I knew that I'd found the guy I needed. After talking to him for a while I discovered that he wasn't a bum. He was a very rational and intelligent guy. He'd just been fucked over by the legal system and the family courts so much that he'd decided that rather than give his ex another nickel, he'd just stop working and become a bum.

"How would you like a chance to get back at a woman who's as bad as your ex?" I asked.

"My name is Melvin and I'm at your service," he smiled. I came to a very lucrative arrangement with Melvin. I'd be paying him a down payment after his first performance and the rest he'd get from the insurance company and the lawyers."

I went home to Julie. "Did you hear about Jeff's clinic?" I asked.

"What about it?" she asked. She was already stewed to the gills. She was slurring her words and barely able to stand up. "Why are you asking me about Jeff? I don't have anything to do with Jeff. Do you think I like Jeff or something?"

"Julie, Jeff's clinic burned to the ground this morning," I said.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha," she laughed. "That asshole deserved it." Then she looked around the room and into my eyes. "Sorry," she said. "I forgot he's your FRIEND."

"Liam, why don't you love me anymore?" she asked. "I've got two theories." She grabbed her glass and took a long slug of whatever was in it. Then she staggered over to our liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle. She tried to get the top off of it and couldn't.

I took the bottle from her and opened the top. I slipped two of the sleeping pills that Jeff had given her for me into the glass.

"What are your theories, Honey," I asked.

"Why are you calling me Honey?" she asked. "You don't care about me anymore. You may as well be calling your car, Honey. You treat it like it was your wife. It's just my luck, I find out that I'm in love with you and I'd do anything for you just when you decided that you don't give a flying fuck about me."

She fell down into her chair. "Gimmie my fucking drink," she said.

"First you have to tell me about your theories," I said. "Why do you think I don't love you?" I was trying to wait for the pills to dissolve in the glass.

"I have two theories," she said. "And I...don't remember them." I realized that she was too drunk to even notice whether or not the pills had dissolved. I handed her the glass.

"Oh yeah," she said. "I know all about it. I think that you and that nun are having an affair. I spoke to some people who saw the two of you together."

"Julie, I told you that Amanda and I were going to have lunch remember?" I asked.

"Oh yeah," she said. "And I told you not to. I hate that bitch. It's a good thing you listened to me."

"What's your other theory?" I asked.

"Liam, I love you," she slurred. "But I've been really bad. I think you might know what I did and you might not like me anymore."

"What did you do, Julie?" I asked. I looked at her like I was really listening. Those pills must have been really powerful because her eyes were already beginning to close.

"You mean you don't know?" she asked. "I'm not a dummy, Liam. I'm not going to tell you if you don't know. Shit that's a load off of my mind. I feel better. Let's go upstairs and do it. Or maybe..." I looked at her as she started trying to stand up.

"We need some marshmallows and some sticks," she said all of a sudden.

"For what?" I asked.

"Before we do it, let's go by Jeff's burnt up little clinic and roast some marshmallows," she said and then she laughed until she fell back into her chair asleep.

I went down into my basement and got Melvin. I'd slipped him down there through the side door when I first came in.

"You ready?" I asked. He just nodded.

"When will your friends be ready?" I asked.

"As soon as you drop me back at the park?" he said.

We went into my backyard and I showed him Julie's car. "Let's do this," I said. He nodded. "This is really going to hurt," I told him.

He ran at Julie's car as hard as he could. At the last second he stopped.

"Do it, Chicken-shit," I urged. He looked at me angrily. "Just imagine that my drunken whore of a wife is your ex and she's behind the wheel." That seemed to work He came back towards me then turned and sprinted for all he was work at Julie's car. He launched himself into the car and bounced off of it so hard that the air bag went off. When he bounced off of the car he also fell backwards and hit his head on the ground. He had a huge bruise on his head and a mark that looked just like the car's grill on his ribs. It was time. We pushed Julie's car into the front yard and left it on the lawn at an odd angle. I'd thought that we'd be able to drive it but the damned thing wouldn't start. It was probably something to do with the air bag triggering. I called the police and reported Julie missing. They told me I couldn't make a report until she'd been missing for twenty four hours. The guy on the phone's tone implied that I needed to exercise more control over my woman.

We quickly jumped into my car and I drove him to a nearby park where some friends of his were waiting. He lay down on the ground and as if on cue they all started screaming. As I pulled away, I noticed in my rear view mirror that someone in a car had stopped to see what they were yelling about. A man got out of the car with a cell phone, as I'd predicted some 'good Samaritan' was already calling the police.

When I got back home, I loaded the still passed out Julie into her car. I laid her down across the front seat which would imply that she'd fallen asleep at the wheel. I gently rubbed some of the residue from the airbag chemicals around her face and neck. I placed an open bottle of liquor on the seat next to her after dripping some of it on her clothes. I put her keys into the ignition and went inside the house and went to bed.

I was awakened at about three in the morning by the sound of someone pounding on my door. There were flashing lights in my yard and I saw not one, but two police cruisers in front of my house.

"Are you William Bennett?" asked an officer.

"Uh yeah," I said as if I was still asleep. "Did you come to take a report about my wife's disappearance finally? I stayed awake damned near all night. I just barely drifted off to sleep."