Conflicted in Paradise Ch. 02

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All characters are 18 years or older.
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Chapter two.

Damon reluctantly woke up in a groggy haze while his body angrily grumbled at him to go back to sleep. He'd been up nearly the entire night, just holding and comforting a nearly inconsolable Amanda. Utterly exhausted, she'd finally fallen asleep somewhere around four in the morning, and he hadn't been far behind. A quick glance at the bedroom clock showed it was just a little before eight, though the sun was already streaming in brightly through the open bedroom window, and the soft tang of the ocean filled the bedroom. He debated getting up and going for a swim, then decided against it. He was still too tired, and he could always go later. Instead he just listened to the waves slowly crashing on the beach as he watched the slow, never-ending rotations of the ceiling fan.

He smiled at the feel of Amanda sleeping closely against him, her head on his chest. She was naked, like him, but that was only because the villa's AC absolutely froze them if they turned it on, so instead they just left the windows open and slept in the nude. They hadn't made love at all the night before—one of the few nights in a long time that he could remember that happening. She had not been in the mood, of course, and to be fair, neither had he. She had actually apologized to him for not sucking him off like she'd promised, and he'd practically felt his heart break at the sadness in her voice.

Despite the fact that they hadn't had any sex, he loved waking up to find her lying against him like that; the only better way to wake up was if his sister was also there, on the other side of him.

He sighed as a sharp pang of pain rushed through him. His sister... He loved Kelsey more than anything in his life, even more than Amanda if he was truly honest about it. He'd already loved his sister like crazy before the two of them had gotten romantically and sexually involved, and that had undoubtedly caused his love for her to grow even more. But something had changed since she'd begun to date Carynne, and the romantic and physical aspect of their love seemed to be slowly dwindling away. Not just between the two of them, but between her and Amanda as well. The spectacular threesomes they'd had seemed a distant memory, since the last time Kelsey had even joined their bed had been well over a month ago, and even then she'd been nowhere near as enthusiastic as she normally was.

He'd figured it was just a temporary thing, born out of Kelsey dating Carynne and being continuously ravaged by the incorrigible sex-goddess; God knew that Carynne could wear anyone out, with maybe the exception of Amanda, who was utterly insatiable. He'd hoped that Kelsey would join them again on their vacation, but that hadn't happened either, and with her continued absence he began to wonder if there was something else going on. While he was sad enough himself about Kelsey no longer being in his bed, he knew it was really hurting Amanda, and that she believed it had something to do with her. He'd tried to convince her that wasn't the case, but he was certain she still harbored those fears. Deep down inside, he felt those fears too. Was it something he'd done?

A loud knock on the door interrupted his train of thought, and for some reason he just knew it was Kelsey. He gently slipped out from beneath Amanda without waking her up—a skill he had slowly picked up over the past ten months—and walked out of the bedroom, down the stairs into the absurdly luxurious living area. He marveled again at the villa Stacey had booked for them for the vacation. It was practically the size of his parents' house, and absolutely filled with high class furniture and every imaginable kind of luxury. There were no fewer than three plasma TVs in the house, as well as a lavishly appointed kitchen, a separate dining room, three bathrooms, hardwood floors, and all kinds of appliances whose purpose he was still trying to figure out. In many ways it reminded him of Stacey's own home.

The knock on the door was repeated, a little louder this time, and he muttered, "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming!" as he continued walking towards the front door.

He briefly considered putting on clothes, then he shrugged. Kelsey wouldn't mind seeing him like this, and if it was someone else, it was their own damn fault for knocking on his door so early. He partially opened the door, at least making sure it still covered his most embarrassing parts—modesty didn't cost anything, after all.

Like he'd surmised, it was Kelsey. "Hey," she said. "Sorry to be here so early, but I wanted to talk to you before you went swimming."

He gave her a big smile and opened the door to let her in. She was wearing a pair of white shorts and a pink t-shirt; in and of itself her outfit wasn't all that impressive, but on her amazing body everything looked sexy. His cock staggered at the sight of her breasts straining her t-shirt, and the swell of her perfect ass in those tight shorts, and he hoped she'd changed her mind and would let him at her again. Just the thought of fucking her ass made him shiver with anticipation.

Noticing his cock rising, she gave him a little smile. "I'm not here for that, Damon."

A huge wave of disappointment surged through him, and he barely managed to clench his teeth before he said something he'd likely regret. He'd sworn he'd never get angry at his sister again, for anything, and he wasn't about to break that promise. It didn't do much to stop him from feeling like shit, however. "Okay. Let me go put on some clothes, and we can talk outside," he said in an even voice, trying his best to hide his unhappiness from her.

"No, I need to talk to Amanda too."

"She's still asleep. We didn't get to sleep until around four."

Kelsey gave him a small grin. "She must be slipping, seeing as how you're still able to walk."

"We didn't fuck, Kel," he said curtly. "She was up crying all night, and now she's exhausted."

Kelsey closed her eyes and sighed. He saw a quick flash of pain on her face, but she immediately suppressed it again. He felt his heart hammer in his chest when her eyes opened. He loved her eyes, and the way they'd change color with her mood; they seemed to be a fairly neutral blue at that moment. A powerful wave of attraction swept through him, and he suddenly realized he missed her far more than he'd ever even imagined.

"Why was she crying? Was it... was it because of me?" she asked softly.

He clenched his teeth and just nodded.

She sighed again, and her body just seemed to slump. "I should have realized it earlier. She was practically beating me over the head with it, and I didn't see it. Or maybe I did, and I just pretended I didn't."

"So why did—"

"Hey," Amanda said sleepily as she came down the stairs and into the villa's living room. "What are you two talking about?"

"You," Kelsey grinned at her best friend. Damon was looking straight at her, and he saw Kelsey's eyes light up at the sight of Amanda naked. They turned the most beautiful blue he'd ever seen, and he almost wanted to scream at her, to ask her why she seemed so hell-bent on breaking up the wonderful relationship the three of them had.

"Do you want me to leave? So you can talk about me, I mean?" Amanda asked, a little hesitantly.

"No, of course not!" Kelsey said immediately, walking over and taking Amanda's hand. She pushed her lips against Amanda's, and Amanda melted right away, wrapping her other arm around Kelsey's neck. Their kiss was slow and unhurried rather than hungry, and Damon smiled at them.

"I'm sorry for making you cry," Kelsey said softly. "I never meant to."

"Kel, is it... did I do something wrong?" Amanda asked, her voice breaking. Damon felt his own eyes get moist again, and he angrily wiped at them with the back of his hand. He wanted nothing more than to go over and hug the girl he loved, but he stayed right where he was, waiting to see what was going to happen. Kelsey and Amanda needed the moment to themselves.

Kelsey rapidly shook her head. "No, you didn't! Oh God, Amanda, I'm so sorry that you think that!"

"Then why won't you join us anymore?" Amanda asked. Her voice was so soft that it was barely audible, and Damon could see her heart and soul in her eyes.

Kelsey sniffed and wiped away several tears. "That's what I'd like to talk to you two about, actually. Can we? Talk for awhile, I mean?"

Amanda nodded, and she walked over to one of the leather couches in the living room. She sat down in the biggest one, wrapping her feet beneath her. Seeing his girlfriend sitting there like that, completely naked, nearly made Damon's knees buckle. Kelsey sat down beside her and took Amanda's hand again.

"I'll leave you two alone for awhile," Damon said, swallowing hard to get the lump out of his throat.

"No," Kelsey said. "This is about you too! Come sit with us, please?"

"Okay." He walked over and sat down beside Amanda, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close against him. He could see his sister's eyes checking both of them out, and for a moment it seemed like she wanted nothing more than to jump them and explode in one of those incredible, mind-blowing sex-marathons they used to have. The moment passed quickly, however, and she just sat there, not making a move.

The three of them stared at each other until Kelsey finally said, "I'm sorry that I haven't... that we haven't had this talk before. I really owed it to you two to come talk to you about this sooner. I just... I've been kind of scared to."

"Scared? Why would you be scared?" Amanda gasped. "You can tell us everything, you know that! Kel, if there's something wrong, or if there's something we did that's bugging you, please tell us!" Her voice was pleading, and Damon felt her shiver in his arms.

"No, you guys didn't do anything wrong! It's all me, or... well, it's... I..." Kelsey began, then she sighed in obvious frustration. She gathered herself for several moments while Damon and Amanda just sat quietly, watching her, then she said, "I love you both with all my heart, you know that. But I love Carynne too."

"Right, and we're happy for you," Amanda said with a soft smile.

"I know you are, but it's... look, I understand that you two are exclusive, and I fully supported it when you made that decision. And I was thrilled that you'd still let me be a part of you."

"You're not just a part of us, Kel," Damon said quietly. "You are us."

Kelsey looked at him for a second, then she giggled. He felt himself blush, and he mumbled, "Well, what I mean is—"

She reached over to put her hand on his knee and gently squeezed it. "I know. You see the three of us as one couple."

He nodded. "Yeah, I do. And so does Amanda."

Amanda eagerly nodded her agreement. "'Us' is not complete without you, Kel."

"Right. And I love that, but... but it's really unfair to Carynne," Kelsey said slowly.

"What's unfair? We're not keeping you from her, right? We've never held you back," Amanda said.

"No, you haven't. It's not that you keep me from her, it's that... well, you keep her from you."

Damon and Amanda looked at each other, seeing their confusion mirrored in each other's eyes. "What do you mean?" Amanda asked.

"I get to be with you two whenever I want, but she doesn't."

"So she's jealous of you getting to be with us?"

Kelsey sighed as she shook her head. "No, she's not jealous, though I think she's probably sad about it, to be honest."

"You think? Hasn't she told you?"

"No. She'd never say anything about it, but I'm pretty sure she feels left out."

"But... you're with her whenever you two want? We want you to be with her whenever you want! We just don't want you to no longer be with us," Damon said.

Kelsey shook her head. "Let me start at the beginning, and I'll see if I can explain it a bit better that way, okay?"

"Okay," Amanda and Damon said simultaneously.

Kelsey cleared her throat. "It was a few weeks after we started having sex again, after I'd gotten out of the hospital, near the end of February. You two were off to dinner with your mom, Amanda, and I was home by myself. Carynne called and asked me if she could come over. I was pretty horny, so obviously I said yes. I couldn't wait for her to get her hands on me again!

"When she showed up, however, she was very quiet and not at all herself. I asked her what was wrong, and she took me to my room and made me sit down on my bed. Then she sank to her knees in front of me, and she told me she loved me!" A smile popped up on Kelsey's beautiful face at the memory.

"I told her that I knew that already, of course, but then she said that she was in love with me, and that really surprised me. I asked her when it had happened, and she admitted that she'd felt that way for a long time. She just never said anything because of... well, you know..."

"Because of you and me," Amanda said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah. She said she never wanted to get between us, and that's why she never did anything about her feelings. But she also said that it broke her heart to see me in the hospital, knowing that I might die without her ever having told me... that... that she loved me." Kelsey burst into tears, and Amanda quickly wrapped her in a warm embrace, even as she started crying too.

Damon sat silently, his heart aching at the sight of the two girls he loved most in the world in such grief.

Kelsey looked at Amanda through her tears, and she gave her best friend another slow kiss. "I love you, Amanda," she finally said.

"I love you too, Kel. I love you so much!" Amanda replied, biting her lip to keep from crying more.

Kelsey looked at her a bit more closely, and suddenly she gasped. "What did you do to your lip?"

Amanda shrugged. "I bit it. It's not important, don't worry about it."

"Did you do that because of me?" Kelsey asked with a sad look on her face.

"No," Amanda lied, shaking her head. "Just go on."

Kelsey gave her a penetrating stare for a few moments, but when Amanda didn't budge, she continued. "Alright. After Carynne told me that she was in love with me, I cried for awhile, hugging her and kissing her. Then I asked her if she wanted to be... you know, my girlfriend."

"Which she did," Damon said with a smile.

"No, she didn't," Kelsey said quietly.

"What? Why not?" Amanda asked, frowning. "She loved you, and you were available."

Kelsey smiled. "Was I? Was I really? That soon after everything that had happened?"

"You mean... you weren't ready yet."

Kelsey nodded. "Carynne said that if I became her girlfriend, she wanted me completely, a hundred percent. She didn't want to be just the rebound, and she didn't want to play second fiddle to you guys."

"But we never would have—"

"I know," Kelsey said quickly. "But she was worried about how much of myself I could give to her. So she said that I should think about it, and that if I decided I couldn't give her the attention and love that she wanted, we'd still just be friends like we'd always been, and nothing would change."

"So you told her no?" Damon asked.

"Yeah. It really hurt me to have to do it, but I just couldn't make that commitment, not that soon. And I didn't want to do that to her—she deserved more than for me to just sort of be her girlfriend at those moments when it suited me."

"What did she say?" Amanda asked.

Kelsey let out a little laugh. "She smiled at me, gave me a kiss, and said she understood; then, she fucked me."

Both Damon and Amanda smiled at the thought. The image of Carynne fucking Kelsey mere seconds after she was essentially turned down fit so well with her.

"So how did you two get together then?"

"She and I just continued playing, same as always. She gave me all the space I wanted, but at the same time she was always there for me when I needed her. And of course she continued to make me cum over and over again. About a month before we graduated I went over to her place one night—I'd had a good while to think about it, and I wanted to talk to her again. She was very happy to see me, and we talked for a long time. In the end, I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend again, and she gave me the same answer as she had before: Yes, but not if it meant she was going to be the sub on the bench.

"I promised her she wouldn't be, and she smiled and gave me a really long kiss—I was seeing stars by the time she let up. Then she said she'd love to be my girlfriend!"

"And we love that she is your girlfriend," Amanda said earnestly. "Damon and I both love her to death. So why is there... why aren't we together anymore?"

"The one thing I was worried about with Carynne was how much she loved being with others, to be honest," Kelsey said, seemingly ignoring Amanda's question. "I love having sex with multiple girls myself, but I knew Carynne had a long list of multiple conquests. And a part of me was scared that she would keep doing that, because I knew I wouldn't handle it very well.

"Fortunately, it turned out that my fear was totally unwarranted. From the very first day she said yes to being my girlfriend, Carynne has always been faithful to me. She turned down every offer at school, she said no to all the phone calls she got from old hookups, and she was just with me, only with me. Of course, we both still had sex with Stacey, but I knew that she wasn't seeing Stacey on her own anymore. The only way she'd ever have sex with someone else is if I was there too. She shared everything with me from day one, and never, ever did anything without me.

"When I asked her about it at one point, she just smiled and said that I would never have to worry about her cheating on me, because she would rather die first. At the same time, though, she never said anything about me going to be with you guys. She never complained or made a comment other than to tell me to have fun. She never tried to get me to change my mind if I told her I was spending the night with the two of you." Kelsey let out a deep sigh, smiling as she thought of her girlfriend.

"So then why is she upset over you being with us?" Amanda asked.

Kelsey shook her head. "She isn't. She isn't upset over it at all. All she wanted was for her to be my main focus, and she is. She's not jealous about the three of us."

Amanda's voice turned both sad and confused. "Then why does it seem like there is no more us?"

"Because I feel bad about it," Kelsey said softly. "Carynne will never say anything, but I know that deep down she wants to share what I have with you guys. She and I both know you two are focused on each other, and we're happy that you are. But she shares everything with me, and it..."

Damon bit his tongue when his sister began to cry again. Amanda tried to console her, but Kelsey shook her head, her nose sniffling as she wiped away her tears. "I love you both more than anything. I never realized when we started out with this that I'd ever have to make this decision, but it hurts me so much that I have something with you two that I can't share with her! And I don't want to do it anymore; I can't... I can't keep doing that to her... Every time I go to be with you guys and leave her by herself, I feel like I'm cheating on her, and it's making me miserable! I'm sorry, Amanda... I know I'm making myself choose between you and her, and I'm choosing her, and I feel horrible about it!"

Amanda didn't say anything, instead just wrapping Kelsey in a deeper embrace while her tears ran freely. They hugged for a long time, until Amanda finally said, "It's okay, Kel. I understand."

"Do you really?"

Amanda nodded. "Yes, I do. You're happy with Carynne, and all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. I'm glad that you and Carynne are doing so well, and I... I know that you can't keep being with us if Carynne can't be a part of it. You wouldn't be you if you felt differently about that. I know if Carynne and I were in opposite positions, you'd do the same thing for my sake."