Continuing On with My LifebyDG Hear©
The older we get the more we think about the end of our life. I guess we should be glad we made it this far. Here I was contemplating my past and I was only fifty-three, thinking about by life now, all the rights and wrongs of my past and where do I go from here.
My wife of thirty-three years passed on last month. I had always wanted to go first but God didn't honor that request. She went home to be with her maker. There is no doubt about that. She was one wonderful woman. She left behind four wonderful kids and nine grandchildren who are all really going to miss her. At least she passed on her knowledge of cooking and all that special female knowledge stuff on to her daughters.
The kids - I call them kids even though they are all in their late twenties and early thirties - are worried about me. Damn, time flies; I remember when they were all just kids and now they have families of their own.
They stop by and it's, "Dad, this and, dad, that. Who's going to cook for you? Who's going to clean this house? This house is too big for you; maybe you should get a small apartment. Dad, at least get someone to help you out."
I knew they all meant well but it was driving me bananas. I'm a grown man; I'm very capable of taking care of myself. There is so much they don't know about their mom's and my life. We never told them everything because they would want to get involved in our disputes and that wouldn't settle anything.
When we first married, we had the greatest love life. We made it everywhere - every room of the house, in the car, outside in the park, in the pool, even once in an elevator. It was great being young. Of course as the kids were born and the responsibilities mounted, we did it a lot less. We still did it pretty often but stayed pretty much in the bedroom while the kids were sleeping.
She didn't care much for oral sex; she said she didn't like giving it. I could count on both hands how many times she tried giving it in our thirty-plus years of marriage. She did like receiving it and the last time I did it for her was a week before she passed. God, I loved eating her out. I could count on one hand the number of pussies I ate in my lifetime. Her's was one I actually enjoyed doing. Maybe because she was my wife, maybe because eating her out turned her on so much and I knew it would end up as a good fuck. I don't care what the reason was as long as we both enjoyed it.
To the best of my knowledge she had never had sex with another man. I say "had sex" with her because I know men had seen her naked. She never knew it though or at least I don't think she knew. I'll explain it a little later but she never had any affairs that I know of. Right to the end she told me she had been true to me. She never lied to me about anything that I knew of, so I believe she told me the truth about the sex also.
I wasn't as loyal to her. I got married at eighteen; she was nineteen at the time. I remember the day she gave me her cherry. It was about six months before we got married. Once we started having sex we couldn't stop. Sex was our drug. Every time we got together we knew we were going to do it. She was my first also. Unfortunately I strayed a few times.
I know it wasn't right but I did it anyway. The first time I strayed I promised myself, never again. I had all I needed at home, but again opportunity knocked and I strayed again. This happened a good half a dozen times throughout my life. Each time it got easier to stray. The funny thing was, none of them were as good as my wife - I mean, none of them!
The last time I strayed was about eight years ago. I made the mistake of going back for seconds and thirds and it became an affair. I didn't love her; it was just sex with another female other than my wife. I got caught, my wife followed me and waited till I was in this woman's pussy and than walked in on us. The shit hit the fan. Needless to say the affair was over, and I was wondering if my marriage would follow the same fate.
We argued and fought about it for weeks. She, my wife Carol, didn't want me in her bed anymore. I put a bed down in our basement and slept down there. We just told the kids that I woke up during the night and was always disturbing their mother so I was going to try and sleep downstairs. I don't know if they believed it but knew better than to question it.
Eventually when the kids got older and as they went out on their own I made a bedroom upstairs. Carol and I never shared the same room again. There were nights that I went in and we had sex but I usually ended up back in my room. As I said we had sex, but Carol no longer put love into it. We started doing it less and less. She did however climax almost every time.
I don't blame her; she could have divorced me and ended our marriage and that could have destroyed our family. We were lucky if we did it once every two or three months after the affair. There were periods I remembered going over six months. Around holidays and special occasions is when we made it. I think the alcohol loosened her up on those occasions.
An example might be at a wedding; she would get drunk and horny and I might do her in another room. Usually I would start fingering her and when she got wet I would lead her into a side room and start eating her out. God, how she loved it and I loved it too. Once she got into the throes of passion I would lift up her dress and start fucking her. I didn't care who saw us anymore. I know guys walked by and would stand there and watch us. My wife's legs were spread wide open while I pumped my cum into her. After taking her home we would do it again, but the next morning she would never even talk about
To this day I don't know if she had known that I let guys look at her pussy or not. She never mentioned it and I sure wasn't ever going to bring it up. She might have been too wasted to know; I'm really not sure. Of course there is a chance that she knew we were being watched but also knew I was a jealous husband and would never let anyone get close to her. I do have to say that other men seeing my naked wife can be a turn-on as long as they do nothing but look from a distance. I had a couple of guys say something about my wife's ass and I had to hurt them. They never mentioned it to me again.
God, how I miss her. I even miss our arguments. No matter what we argued about she always brought up the affairs. That's one punishment I knew I would have to endure till death do us part.
All but one of my kids and their families lived at least an hour or more away. Someone called me about every day to find out how I was doing. I always said the same thing. "I'm doing fine. Yes, I miss your mother but we had thirty-three wonderful years together. I'll always remember them."
My son, Gary, said he talked with the others and they thought that if I was going to stay at my place that I at least needed a housekeeper or someone to stop by and make sure everything would be fine. I finally told them I would look into it.
I decide to write an ad asking for a housekeeper and run it in the local newspaper. Someone to do chores and maybe cook if they were able. My Carol was a great cook and if I couldn't have good eats, I would just go to the restaurant.
I had just retired three months before Carol's death. Our plant was moving out and offered early retirement to the older employees and, with over thirty years in, I took it. I was hoping Carol and I might travel or do things together. So now with Carol gone I had a lot of free time on my hands. I spent a lot of time reading stories on the Internet. I must be way older than I thought. I couldn't believe some of the stuff I was reading. Pissing on one another, ass fucking. Damn, I tried it a few times with Carol and she didn't like it and it hurt my dick. I'd take a hot pussy instead any day. Two women together - always thought that might be fun to watch but what would I do? I guess I'm supposed to watch them and jack-off. Hell, I could stay home and masturbate and it wouldn't cost me a dime. Then I read the gay stories or fucking my mom stories. To each his own but they weren't my cup of tea.
Wife swapping - not my bag either; cheating wives - I don't like wimps. Shoot the mother fucker if he's messing with your wife; that's my motto.
Thinking about masturbation, I have to tell you that I've been doing it for many, many years. It was a good sexual release since I didn't want to cheat on Carol. After the last affair, I needed to do something for release since Carol and I didn't do it as often. She caught me doing it one time and told me I was a pervert. I told her the truth, that if she didn't want to have sex with me and I didn't want to cheat on her that masturbation was my only other release. After that little talk, she seemed to have sex with me more often. She never received a complaint from me. Anytime she wanted it, I was available.
Anyway, I put an ad in the local paper asking about a housekeeper. I probably had twenty women and even a few guys apply for the job. I had about fifty phone calls but only about twenty that I had show up for an interview. I never gave any thought to what I wanted the housekeeper to look like. Believe me, I had every size, shape, color and age woman show up. I narrowed it down to three woman. One was in her forties and the other two didn't tell me their age, only that they were mature. All three could cook as well as clean, one even said she did windows. What's so hard about cleaning windows? I was the one who cleaned ours anyway. Never could understand that one.
I told all three that I would let them know by the following week who I chose. All three expected gas money or some type of travel expense. I guess that was reasonable since gas prices were so high. I had a few women asking about live in but I just couldn't see letting some sixty year old woman I didn't know roam the house. Now if she was something to look at I might have considered it. I always like to look at good looking women; I'm not a pervert, just a man with needs, even though I may be a little older.
Before I tell you who I chose, I have to let you know that a few offered sex if I would hire them. Some were even married. This might sound rash but I considered it. I have an overworked libido, probably from reading those crazy stories. Sexual release could have been good.
The day before I was to choose my housekeeper I was taking a long walk through the park. I was one of the older guys that really enjoyed feeding the ducks. I came upon a young woman with a child who appeared to be around ten years old. The woman was crying and the child was actually comforting her. I stopped and asked her if there was a problem.
She looked up and was a sweet looking woman around thirty or so years of age. She seemed to have a very nice figure, what I could see of it. Hell, she was young enough to be my daughter. She did look somewhat familiar to me.
She spoke, "No, sir, we're fine."
The young girl spoke up, "My dad died and now we have to live with grandma."
"Rachel, leave the man alone; he doesn't want to hear our problems."
"I know, mom, but he asked. Besides what are we going to do?"
"I'm sorry to have bothered you but maybe I can help. Let me give you a few dollars so you can at least get some food."
"Sir, we are not a charity case. We had a little misfortune and are dealing with it."
"I'm sorry. Please accept my apology for butting in where I don't belong. I didn't mean it to sound the way it came out."
"Mom, he only wanted to help. Why did you treat him like that?"
"Sir, my daughter's right. You didn't deserve to be spoken to harshly. It's just that we left our home and I'm returning to live with my parents. Not really a good thing."
"Look, my name is Ed, Ed Jenkins. I just live up from the park. If you would like, you and your daughter can maybe freshen up a bit before you continue your journey."
"Thank you, Ed ... I mean, Mr. Jenkins, but we don't usually go to houses of people we don't know. But, thank you for the offer."
"Mom, I have to go to the bathroom."
"You can go at the bus station, Rachel," she said.
"Mom, please, I have to go. I don't think Mr. Jenkins is going to attack us. Please, mom, we only need to stay for a few minutes."
"Your daughter is right; I promise not to attack you and it's only a block away."
"Okay, Mr. Jenkins, thank you. We'll take you up on your offer. By the way my name is Kim, Kim Smith and you already know Rachel."
"Glad to meet both of you. You look so familiar to me Kim. I know I have see before."
"Do you know a Molly Jenkins? I went to school with her. We were pretty good friends, or course that was quite a few years ago."
"My youngest daughter is named Molly. She went to Center high school just down the road."
"That's her. That's the Molly Jenkins I hung around with. I must have been to your house a dozen times. It's the big house over on Hall Rd. isn't it?"
"As a matter of fact it is. I remember you now. You were that cute somewhat skinny little girl that wanted to be a cook. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that but you turned out to be a beautiful woman. Oh, shit, there I go again. I'm sorry."
Kim was laughing and so was her daughter Rachel.
"Okay mom, since you know him, can we go to his house so I can use the bathroom?"
"Of course, sweetheart, there will be another bus in a couple of hours."
"Kim, do you mind if we stop at the corner grocery so I can pick up a couple of items? I don't have a lot of food on hand at the house anymore. You see, my wife passed away a couple of months ago and I usually eat out. I liked eating at Raymond's Restaurant because they had the best home cooked meals. Then about two weeks ago the food changed. I don't eat there anymore. I have to find me another restaurant that serves home cooked meals."
Kim was smiling. "I'm sorry for smiling, it's not about your wife. I feel very saddened for you losing a loved one. I was smiling about Raymond's Restaurant. I was the cook there till two weeks ago. Let me try and explain what happened. First though, let's pick up a few items and I'll make your dinner since you apparently like my cooking."
We stopped at the store and I asked Kim if she could make me one of her western omelettes? She smiled and picked up everything she would need and we headed to the house. Rachel ran looking for the bathroom and Kim headed for the kitchen. I grabbed a chair and listened to her story.
"Well, Mr Jenkins, do you want to hear the life story or just the last couple of weeks?" she smiled.
"First off, call me Ed please. I have nothing but time and I want you to stay around as long as possible so please give me the long version."
"We do have to catch our bus tonight so I'll give you the shortened long version, if that makes any sense," she laughed.
She wasn't only funny; she was damn nice to look at. Damn, why was I so old. Rachel came in and asked if she could play on the piano. She knew how to peck out a few songs. Of course I told her it was okay.
"Well, Mr. Jenkins - I mean, Ed - after graduating high school I went to a cooking school and learned a lot of the traits of cooking. I got a degree and decided to look for a cooking job. I went from one diner to another looking for work. There were a lot of jobs out there but none of them paid a decent wage. I did start working at a Red Lobster and that began my career."
"Why aren't you still there?" I asked.
"I met my husband; of course at the time he was my boy friend. He was in the military and was shipped overseas. While he was in Germany he wrote me and asked me to come out and live there for his last two years of enlistment. When he came home on leave, we got married and I returned to Germany with him. Shortly before coming home I became pregnant with Rachel. She was our only child. After returning home, I was a stay-at-home mom with my little girl. About two years ago Rick, my husband, was killed in a car accident. It's so hard to believe; he spent six years in the military and then gets killed when he returns home."
Kim had tears in her eyes and I actually got up and pulled her to my chest like I would if it was one of my daughters. The only problem was she wasn't my daughter and it felt so good. I had to release her.
"Thank you, I needed that," she said, as she continued her story.
"We had a nice apartment and we continued to live there, that's Rachel and I. We received social security and of course his military benefits. I went looking for a job so we had enough to survive on. Raymond offered me a job at the restaurant. He agreed to let me work hours that were suitable so I could always be there for Rachel. Ray always joked with me about sexual things. I just kind of went along as long as he never touched me or anything like that. Then one day he came in drunk and tried to force me to have sex with him. It was after closing and I was cleaning up the place. He said his wife broke up with him and he needed sex and if I didn't give it to him he was going to fire me."
"My God, Kim, the stupid bastard! You don't have to tell me anymore if you don't want to." I got up and held her again for a few seconds. She was trembling so I squeezed her gently and felt a calm come over her. I let go of her and sat back down while she continued cooking.
"He forced me against the wall and slid his hand up my skirt. The minute he reached my private area I went bonkers. I reached over and grabbed a frying pan and it him twice on the back and shoulder with it. I ran out of the restaurant. I thought about calling the police but I didn't have any kind of proof. I later found out I cracked his shoulder blade. He was lucky I didn't hit him over the head."
"Did you ever go back? I asked.
"Yes, the next day to pick up my check. His wife had to come back and help him at the restaurant since his arm was in a sling. Come to find out, she left him the night before because he was playing around with other women at the bar. Of course she realized the restaurant was her livelihood also so she came back. She asked me what happened and I told her Ray made a pass at me and I hit him with the skillet. She asked me to stay but I told her I couldn't work for a man that tried to put his hands on me. She said she understood and I took my check and left."
"Boy, that sure smells good. Can I hire you?"
"What? Do you own a restaurant?" She asked as she called Rachel to come and eat.
"No, I need a cook and housekeeper. My kids are worried I'm not eating properly and I won't be since you left the restaurant."
"Are you serious, Ed? No, never mind, it wouldn't work out."
"What do you mean, 'It wouldn't work out'? Tell me what you want, what you need. Maybe we can make it work."
"Ed, we gave up our apartment. We have two weeks to get our belongings out of it or we will have to pay another months rent, which we can't afford. That's why we had to move in the first place. Then there is the transportation. Even if we could afford the apartment, I don't own a car anymore. Our's was a clunker and it gave out last month. We sold it to the junk yard last month. So, you see, too many obstacles to overcome."
"If I could come up with an alternative, would you at least consider it?"
"Yes, Ed, we ... that's Rachel and I ... would consider it. I don't make any moves unless my girl and I agree."
We went ahead and ate. I kept complementing Kim on her cooking. I had to come up with something. There is no way I wanted to lose her as a cook. Besides, she was great to look at.
After we ate I put our dirty dishes in the sink and asked Kim if she wanted to take a quick look at the house. I'm not a dirty person but cleaning a house is not a big priority on my what to do list, seeing now I make up my own, 'To do' list.
My house is a three bedroom ranch with a two and a half car garage. I have two baths. I put the second one in about ten years ago when we added a patio and a pool. I also had a full basement which had been remodeled, mainly for the grandkids to have somewhere to play when they came over or for parties or gatherings.