Cougar Happy HourbyMisterReason©
Wednesday nights at The Blue Devil Lounge in Ithaca, New York, they have a social hour that illogically lasts from 7 to 10 and is called 'Cougar Happy Hour'. During that time the ladies who fit that description get to buy well drinks for a buck a pop.
Since it's a college town, the women who come in to take advantage of the specials stand out like a sore thumb, not that the hot ones ever have to spend any of their own money for the discounted drinks anyway because the young men doing the hunting are happy to spend a couple of bucks for the chance to score.
It was on a Wednesday night in October when a combination of factors formed a perfect storm of sorts, and it was under that cloud that the following events occurred.
"It's a kennel," Dave Johnson yelled into his friend's ear as they stood at the end of the bar and surveyed the scene. "Slim pickings here tonight. I think I'll go back to the dorm and jerk off."
"Suit yourself," Steve Everett yelled back at his friend over the sounds of Sweet Home Alabama on the jukebox.
The Lynyrd Skynyrd tune was typical of the music played during Cougar Happy Hour every week, as the bar tried to cater to the older crowd, figuring that the guys would listen to anything in order to meet a female. This made the clientele consist mostly of barely legal boys and women from 35 to 60.
"You look like you're interested in somebody," Dave said to Steve as he watched his friend looking down the length of the bar. "Please don't tell me that you're checking out that train wreck in the blue."
"So what if I am?" Steve said.
"You're new at this," Dave said, reminding his roommate that he was more experienced at the Blue Devil Lounge scene. "Let's go. We'll come back next week, only earlier so we don't have to wade through the leftovers."
"Go ahead," Steve said. "I'll probably be back at the dorm soon."
"If you come back to the room with her, I'll never let you live it down," Dave said before leaving. "She looks like somebody... what's her face? The old bag on the Beverly Hillbillies. Not Granny - the other one that had the hots for Jethro. Miss Hathaway."
"Funny," Steve Everett said as he let his dorm-mate leave with his laughter echoing behind him.
In reality, Steve knew that his friend Dave was spot on. The resemblance was there, and as Steve watched the woman sipping a drink without anyone nearby, he took a long look at her.
Tall and skinny, almost painfully so, and wearing the style of eyeglasses that didn't take any years off of the half century's worth of chronological baggage she was carrying, she did play the Miss Hathaway role well.
The fact that none of the guys in the bar were giving her a second look was sad in a way, especially when you thought about the guys that were passing on her. It wasn't exactly like they were all that hot themselves.
So Steve grabbed the bartender and asked him to send a drink down to the woman, and after he took Steve's money and delivered the cocktail, Steve waited for the woman to react.
She seemed stunned when the drink arrived, and after she squinted down toward Steve she called the bartender back and said something to him. The bartender nodded and came back to Steve with a message.
"The lady says that she would like you to join her," the barkeep said before heading towards another customer. "Said something about not wanting to drink alone."
Steve nodded and grabbed his drink to join the woman who didn't like to drink alone. After all, she wasn't that unattractive, he reasoned, and was a very nice person as Steve recalled.
He knew that because he had known the woman all his life, and had recognized her right away. Steve knew that once he got closer and out of the dark corner of the bar he had been standing, Marie Hartwell would recognize him too.
"Thank you for the - omigod!," Marie said as she saw who had bought her the vodka and tonic. "Steven? What in the world are you doing here?"
"Hi Aunt Marie," Steve said and he leaned over and kissed his mother's sister on the cheek and slid onto the stool next to her. "I could ask you the same question."
"Me? Oh - I - well, I was on my way home and I decided to stop in for a drink," Marie stammered, and Steve nodded. "Never been in here before and it looked like a nice enough place."
Steve nodded and said that he had never been in The Blue Devil Lounge before either, and Steve suspected that Aunt Marie might be lying even if he hadn't been. All of the signs inside and out made it clear what the place was, at least on Wednesday nights.
"I guess," Steve said. "How's Uncle Ed?"
"Uh - Ed is - well, we aren't together right now," Aunt Marie said with considerable embarrassment.
"Oh" Steve said, and hearing that made him look at his Aunt a little differently.
Steve had always had a sweet spot in his heart for his aunt, who looked a lot like his mother in some ways, although his Mom probably outweighed Aunt Marie by almost 100 pounds these days.
Almost six feet tall, Steve figured and the weight was anyone's guess, although whatever it was had to be at least 25 pounds less than normal for her height.
Measurements? Not exactly 36-24-36, but more along the lines of 30-25-35. Steve chuckled when he remembered his mother telling his father once that Aunt Marie's nickname when they were growing up was 'The Carpenter's Dream'.
"Flat as a board and easy to screw," Steve recalled his mother cackling after telling dad the old joke that was new to Steve back then.
His mother and her sister had a strange and strained relationship, which was probably why their families didn't get together much any more, at least not like they used to when Steve was young.
Steve had been staring at Aunt Marie's bare arm next to him, with the bony elbow on the padded rail of the bar. Her skin was a ghostly white, and as Steve wondered whether he could get his thumb and index finger to touch if her wrapped them around her bicep, he realized that she had asked him a question.
"Sorry." Steve said, blaming his inattention on the noise.
"I said that I didn't think you were old enough to drink."
"I'm not," Steve said while leaning towards Aunt Marie's ear and the familiar scent of her perfume, giggling as he nuzzled into her light brown hair which had a hint of gray at the roots. "Fake ID. Don't tell on me, okay?"
"I won't, so long as you don't tell anybody you saw me out drinking."
Having made a deal, their conversation turned to other things. Marie said she had heard that her nephew was coming out here to college, and wasn't it a coincidence that they ran into each other like this?
As for Steve, he kidded that the reason he chose Ithaca was so he could be near his favorite aunt, but while he was exaggerating about that, the thought that he might be able to scrounge a meal or something did enter his mind.
"Sorry about you and Uncle Ed," Steve said, which was partly true, but only as it affected his aunt, because Steve had always thought his uncle was a blowhard.
"I'd - I'd rather not talk about it," Aunt Marie said with a touch of sadness, and while that put a momentary damper on the conversation, before long they were laughing and reminiscing.
Steve looked up at the clock and saw that he had been talking with his aunt for over an hour, and he was having a blast. Aunt Marie seemed to be having fun too, and it wasn't just because of the drinks she was throwing down either.
Around that time Steve started making contact with his aunt. Innocent stuff, like their arms touching and him putting his hand on her forearm, and while Steve wondered if his aunt was noticing, she wasn't stopping him and was even joining in, and it was around then that the tone of the conversation changed.
"I'm probably getting a lot of guys mad," Steve said. "Monopolizing you like this. I should clear out and let somebody else enjoy your company."
"Don't go, Steven," Aunt Marie said, clutching his forearm to keep him around even though he wasn't moving. "Nobody wants to hit on me. They rarely do. At least not this early."
"Oh, I doubt that," Steve said, smiling while realizing that Aunt Marie pretty much admitted she wasn't a rookie in this meat market after all, just like he had suspected.
"Wish I was," Aunt Marie mused. "Sometimes, if somebody is drunk or desperate enough - but usually it's just me alone with this."
Aunt Marie lifted her glass with that, looking at it with slightly glassy eyes, and when Steve whispered that she had to be kidding because she was still pretty she shook her head and looked at her nephew.
"No - no I'm not."
She didn't say it looking for sympathy, or wanting Steve to tell her she was wrong. Marie said it like it was a fact, and she was right. She wasn't pretty. She never had been and never would be.
"You are to me," Steve heard himself saying as he leaned close to his aunt and squeezed her while kissing her on the cheek.
"You're so sweet. Always were," Marie sighed as her eyes misted up. "If you weren't my sister's kid I'd..."
"Don't let that stop you," Steve said, laughing in case she took it badly, but she just laughed and shook her head.
"Do you remember when you used to give me baths in that plastic dishpan thing?" Steve asked.
"Oh dear. Don't tell me - you can't remember that! You were just a baby!"
"Seems like I do recall it, but that's probably because I always see that picture at home of me sitting there in that thing with a rubber ducky and you squeezing a wash cloth over my head to make it rain."
"Oh how you used to laugh!" Marie chortled. "Those were good times."
"You know, I would love to get one of those baths tonight," Steve said, and he saw Marie's startled reaction.
"Heavens, I don't know what happened to that basin, and besides you would never fit in it now. You're as tall as I am these days," Marie said with a laugh.
"No, I couldn't fit in that. Don't have a tub at the dorm either, but you've got a bathtub, right?"
"Steven!" Marie said, her pale cheeks blushing.
"Well?" Steve sighed, and then ran his finger along Marie's creamy while forearm, and then when he reached the elbow, moved his digit to the inside of her arm.
"What?" Marie answered, with the words coming out in pieces because she started shuddering as her nephew's finger slid all the way up her pale, reed-thin arm all the way to her armpit, which was smooth and moist.
"Not tickling you, am I Aunt Marie?" Steve whispered as his finger slid back down to her elbow, and when she shook her head no he slid his finger back up.
"You don't know what you're doing to me," Marie gasped, with her arm now covered with goosebumps.
"I could say the same thing," Steve said. "About that bath - I'm serious."
"Steven," Aunt Marie pleaded.
"Wouldn't it be fun?"
"You're - you're Audra's kid!"
"I'm not a kid any more Aunt Marie," Steven said. "Here. Let me prove it to you."
Aunt Marie protested at first when her nephew took her wrist and tried to bring it under the bar, but Steve kept telling her that it was dark and no one else would see.
"Did you find it?" Steve had after putting his aunt hand on the bulge in his pants.
"Of course I did," Marie said as her eyes widened.
"So what do you think?" Steve said, and after he took his hand off of Marie's he was thrilled when he felt her moving it along the bulge on her own.
"It's big," Marie gasped. "Really big."
"That's not what I meant," Steve sighed. "I meant about you and me - maybe in your tub? You don't live that far away as I recall."
"Can't," Marie said as she breathed heavily while still squeezing the bulge that kept getting bigger and harder as a result.
"Can't or won't?"
"Can't," Marie said as she turned away from the mirror behind the bar to face her nephew.
"Could go to my dorm room," Steve mused. "It's not much and I don't have a tub, but..."
"Let's go," Aunt Marie said as she climbed off the bar stool and threw a few dollars on the bar, and with that Steve found himself following his aunt out the door.
"Which way?" Aunt Marie said when they got outside, and a couple of guys smoking outside chuckled as they heard her and saw her unsteadily spin around on the sidewalk.
"This way Aunt Marie," Steve said, gracefully putting his arm around her and ushering her up the street. "Did you drive?"
"No - walked," she said, and for that they were both grateful. "Is your place far?"
"About a 10 minute walk," Steve said, and found himself regretting with every step not stopping to take a leak before they left the bar.
"Aunt Marie?" Steve said, and realized that he needed to drop the Aunt title, at least for the rest of the night. "Wait a second. Be right back."
Reaching a dark alley, Steve excused himself and ducked between the buildings and behind a dumpster and pulled out his cock, which took some effort because he was still a bit aroused from not only his aunt rubbing him through his jeans, but by the very nasty thought of having sex with his mother's sister.
He was about to pee when he heard feet scraping behind him, and then suddenly a hand came around and grabbed at him.
"Marie?" Steve blurted out as his aunt staggered up against him and grabbed his cock.
"Omigod Steven!" Marie blurted out as her hand wrapped around his semi-turgid member. "You really are hung like a horse, aren't you?"
Steve braced himself by grabbing the brick wall in front of him and looked over his shoulder at his aunt, who was almost exactly his height and was nuzzling into his scalp while wiggling on his dick.
"Pee honey," Aunt Marie was saying. "Hurry."
It took Steve a second to get the flow going, but eventually his urine was spattering on the ground, and by the time he was finished he was drilling the brick wall with piss, having become erect as a result of Aunt Marie's rough handling of his manhood.
After shaking his cock up and down, Steve heard his aunt shuffling around as she let go of his cock. At first he thought she was looking to stagger away and fall down, but what she was doing was moving a few feet down the alley, pulling her panties down as she wobbled over against the wall.
"Give it to me," Aunt Marie was saying as she reached over and grabbed his erect member and using it to pull her nephew toward her. "Right now."
Steve was taken aback once again when she saw his Aunt Marie kicking her panties off of her ankles and pulling up her dress to reveal her sex. Even in the near darkness Steve could see the dark triangle of hair between her legs, and as he moved up to her she practically climbed onto him.
No foreplay. No nothing, and Steve fell against his aunt, pinning her against the brick while trying to put his cock inside of Marie as she spread her legs and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Fuck!" Aunt Marie growled into Steve's ear as she guided the head of her nephew's cock into her opening, the coolness of the night making her breathing visible as she hissed, "Fuck me hard. Split me in two if you can."
Steve leaned into his aunt as he tried to force his cock into her. She was wet enough but she was tight and the thickness of his tool made it a challenge.
The befuddled young man was used to being the aggressor with the ladies, so the way Aunt Marie was acting and talking, her glasses falling off and talking like a dockworker, was off-putting to say the least. It was also erotic to the young man, and so he pushed hard, driving the skinny woman into the wall as he forced himself into her pussy while his aunt howled for him to go harder and faster.
It didn't last long, but long enough for Steve's aunt to have an orgasm that had her clawing at him frantically and speaking in tongues. Steve came soon after, and after he did he heard a couple of people snickering out on the sidewalk.
Fortunately the darkness made everybody anonymous, because Steve would have hated to have somebody see his aunt like that. Marie worked in the town library, so she was probably pretty well known in the area, but it hadn't seemed to matter to her as she nuzzled into her nephew's neck.
"So good baby," Aunt Marie kept saying, and let out a little sigh when Steve's deflating cock fell out of her pussy.
Steve took a step back and put his cock away, his mind spinning from more than the alcohol. Aunt Marie was unrecognizable to the nephew who had known her all of his life, and just as the young man began to wonder what was going to happen next, he found out right away.
"Excuse me," Aunt Marie said as she took a couple of steps away from her nephew and squatted down while holding her dress up as high as she could.
The resulting spattering was even louder that his own had been, and Steve was hoping her aunt wouldn't fall over as she got rid of a half dozen vodka and tonics along with a load of his seed before standing upright and lowering her dress.
"Um - how about these?" Steve said of his aunt's panties, which were twisted and on the ground where she had kicked them off, but she waved her hand at them and grabbed Steve's arm.
"Let's get out of here," Aunt Marie said as they staggered out of the alley. "Lead the way. It's cold out here honey."
She still wants to go to my room. Steve had figured that Aunt Marie would be trying to figure out a way to say good night, but she was far from ready to call it quits, and so Steve led her to the dorm, with her grabbing at his ass along the way.
Maybe somebody put something in her drink back at the bar? Possible, Steve mused, but why? He knew he didn't, but once they had started making out, it was like somebody hit a switch because up until that time, Aunt Marie was just Aunt Marie.
What transformed her into that wildcat back in the alley? Steve did okay with the opposite sex, but had never managed to get any girl acting like Aunt Marie had, and now she wanted more.
Steve brought Aunt Marie to his dorm building the least obvious route, but they still managed to come in contact with students along the way. During the day, it would be no big deal to have someone accompany a student that looked like a Mom to their room.
Now, at night, with the two of them - especially Aunt Marie - looking like they had been out in a hurricane, there was no doubt as to what was going on. Guys that passed by them in the hall nodded and winked at Steve, and a couple snickered after passing them.
Steve couldn't blame them because he would have probably done the same thing if he saw one of them with a woman more than twice their age who was walking erratically even with help. The fact that Aunt Marie was saying hello to guys as she passed them made it even stranger.
As Steve got to his door he found it locked. There was no light at the bottom of the door, so that meant that either his roommate Dave was still out or that he was asleep. If he was in there with a girl there would be a little heart sticker on the door handle, but there was none.
"Please don't be in there," Steve mumbled.
"What?" Aunt Marie asked.
"Nothing," Steve said as he opened the door, and after getting his aunt safely inside he locked the door behind them and left the light off.
"Which bed is yours?" Aunt Marie asked, and while Steve was tempted to say that it was the one without the 175 pound giggling lump under the covers, but instead moved his aunt over to the other side of the small room.
It was pretty dark in there, with only a little light coming in through the blinds, but Steve could hear Aunt Marie undressing and could make out her pulling her dress over her head as he started to lose his own clothes. Steve had been hoping Dave would leave, but he didn't. At least for the most part he stopped giggling though.
"A gentlemen," Aunt Marie said when Steve came behind her to help unhook the bra she was struggling with.