Crimson Sky Ch. 01

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The beginning.
2.4k words
4.35
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11

Part 1 of the 4 part series

Updated 09/24/2022
Created 03/01/2011
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Royaltee
Royaltee
32 Followers

*Hi this is my first submission here and I would appreciate it if you commented and/or critisised or complimented my skills. Hope you enjoy this and thanks to my lovely editor,MadeirenseJaqui, for all the help.*

Alex

"I hate you!" This is the first thing that came to mind after I'd processed the fact that that asshole was in bed - MY bed- with another guy. Just great, isn't it? I can't even think of something biting to say to him. You're probably wondering what I'm talking about so let me start at the beginning.

My name is Alex Croon; I'm 21 years old and insanely rich. And no, it's not from any inheritance, my parents are both alive and well and my grandparents don't even know I exist so my wealth is all my doing. You see I'm an artist and a damn good one at that – even if I do say so myself. I started painting when I was three, was discovered when I was ten and had made a name for myself by the time I was twelve so I can't really attribute my wealth to anyone's cleverness except my own. Anyway, I live in a huge apartment in New York; the apartment is gorgeously decorated and pretty comfortable to live in. I live alone (I've never been able to share my living space) and up until a few minutes ago I had a boyfriend. Did I mention I was gay? Well I am. Anyway, Chase, my now ex-boyfriend and I have been going steady for a few months now. We met when he modeled for me last year – yeah he's a model – and while I'd love to tell you that I was dazzled by his beauty and had a crush on him from then on that's not how it happened. He actually approached me and asked me out a few weeks after we'd worked together, we went to dinner along with his friends -some date, huh? – where he introduced me as his boyfriend and that's what I've been up till now. So back to the present: a few hours ago I boarded a plane from California to New York, I didn't call because I wanted to surprise him. Guess who got the surprise when I came home from the airport to find my boyfriend lying on his stomach with another guy buried deep in his ass? "Al, baby, this is not what it looks like...I, uh...I was just, uhm... having a massage."

"I didn't know masseuses used their dicks for massages and don't call me baby! You lost that right when you decided to fuck around."

"But b--"

"Don't! Just don't Chase. I'm giving you ten minutes to get your cheating ass dressed and out of my house."

"Al please don't do this. I was lonely baby and --"

"I don't care! I just don't give a fuck Chase and that's nine minutes now – I'd suggest you and your bitch get dressed before I run out of patience. Now I'll be waiting downstairs and if you don't get your asses down there in eight minutes then I guarantee you hell will break loose." I went downstairs like I said I would and waited but thankfully not for long because Chase and his new masseuse came down soon after me.

"Baby I--"

"Leave Chase – just go please"

"But I--"

"But nothing! Now go!" Immediately after I closed the door, I burst into tears. It's true what they say about money not being able to buy you happiness. I have all the money in the world and no happiness at all.

Welcome to my world.

"Hey Migg"

"Hey Lex, howzit going man?"

"Still alive I'm afraid"

"Are you really?"

"Yeah dude, I haven't seen a crimson sky yet" Both of us laughed at the weak joke. It was a joke that we started back in high school that if we ever saw a red sky then the world was definitely coming to an end.

"At least you still got your crappy sense of humor dude, I'd be very worried if you lost that" We laughed again, "But seriously Lex, you haven't been answering my calls or anybody's for that matter and you never come out with us anymore. What's going on?" Miggy was right to be worried. After the breakup a few weeks ago I've been practically living like a hermit. I didn't want to see anyone anymore. Although to my defense, I've never been much of a people's person. Lately all I ever felt like doing was work and that's not unusual for me because I tend to throw myself into my work and forget about the outside world.

"Nothing man, I've just been really busy that's all. You know I've got that exhibition coming up soon and unless I want to have a certain Ms Sally June on my case, I have to work my ass off to meet the deadline."

"Seriously dude, you'd think I know you well enough by now to know that what you're saying is bullshit because that exhibition is not for months and I would know since I'm dating the certain Ms Sally June you so kindly mentioned just now."

"Wow dude! You're with Sally now? Good for you bro"

"Yeah well you would've known much sooner if you'd bothered to take my calls douche bag"

I felt my face burn with embarrassment, "Uh yeah sorry about that dude, I guess I was not ready for the public yet."

"Does that mean you're ready now?" "Not really, I'm still not over Chase"

"Bro you seriously need to get over that asshole, it's been six weeks already"

"Yeah I know but it's easier said than done."

"Well if you bothered to get off of your rich ass and out of this posh apartment, you'd find it a lot easier to do you know."

"Yeah I know dude but I just didn't have the energy to face the outside world...alone." The last word was whispered.

"Bro you know you're never alone man, you have me and the gang and we're all worried about you plus we love you."

"Yeah I know bro but it's not the same. I'll still go to bed alone and in my mind I'll still be alone Migg"

He hugged me then. "I know it's hard but you'll find someone else bro and he'll make you happier than that ass wipe ever did."

"Thanks Migg, I don't know what I would do without you bro"

"Well seeing as you've been ignoring me for the past six weeks, I know you'll throw yourself into your work."

I punched him lightly in the arm "Yeah right, as if I'd be able to live without you"

Miggy laughed, "Don't worry Lex, you'll do just fine should anything ever happen to me"

"I don't even want to imagine anything ever happening to you bro, it's too traumatizing."

He laughed again "You are such a drama queen you know that right?"

I put my hand over my forehead as if I had a headache, "Oh Miggy darling! I shall miss you terribly if anything happens to you! What would my world be without you?" We both laughed at this.

"I'm really glad to see you laughing Lex, but I'll be so much happier if you come to lunch today." Having lunch together had become a daily ritual for our gang because after high school, we all just went our own ways and forgot about how close we were. When Miggy finally got the whole gang in New York he made it a rule that we all have lunch together everyday.

"Migg I--"

"Please Lex" He looked at me with big, sad green eyes and I couldn't refuse him.

"Fine I'll come. Just stop looking at me like that."

He beamed at me, "Great! Go get changed and we'll leave."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" I looked down at my simple outfit of a white t-shirt and paint spattered baggy jeans.

"You are not getting out of this apartment dressed like that Lex, end of story."

"But--"

"No buts, just change."

I sighed and went upstairs while muttering to myself. "Sometimes I wonder who the gay guy between the two of us is."

"Lex?"

"Yeah?"

"I heard that"

"Good maybe you'll start acting straight" I said under my breath.

Miggy laughed, "I heard that too. Now stop complaining, you've got five minutes."

Micah

Today has got to be the worst day ever! I thought to myself for the hundredth time that day. I lost 6 patients in the space of an hour and was about to lose another one if I didn't do something fast.

"We're losing him doctor" said Nicole, one of the nurses that worked at the hospital.

"Check his blood pressure, sugar levels, heart rate, and temperature, everything you can Nicole, I can't help him if I don't know what's killing him and where are the test results?"

"I'll go--"

"No leave it, you stay with the patient and I'll go get them myself."

"Yes doctor."

I went to the in house lab and found Stanly there, one of our other doctors. "Doctor Woods wha--"

"I brought in a set of blood tests a few days ago and I still don't have the results, how come?"

"Uhm when did you submit these results doctor?"

"Three, four days ago"

"And the patient's name?"

"Mr. Lewis, Bradley Lewis"

"Ahh yes I have the results right here doctor"

"Why didn't you send them to me?"

"I--"

"Never mind that now; tell me what's wrong with him?"

"He has sugar diabetes doctor"

"Fuck!"

"Doctor Woods I--"

I didn't catch the rest of what he was saying because I ran out of the lab. I bumped into Nicole in the corridor and demanded to know why she wasn't with the patient but she shook her head sadly, "I'm sorry doctor but we lost him"

Great! That' the seventh one today. "His family?"

"I was just about to break the news to them"

"No Nicole let me--"

"I'll do it Micah, you haven't slept since Sunday and that was a week ago, you need to get some rest."

"But I have patients to--"

"I'll ask Stan to take over from you"

"But--"

"Please Mick? You're my best friend and I can't stand seeing you like this, go home and get some rest. I know how much losing a patient bothers you but you can't save them all, especially if you're as tired as you are."

I slumped my shoulders in defeat and sighed, "Ok Nic, I'll go." I went to my office then to pack my things and sadly left for home. Now I didn't live too far from the hospital so I usually walked there even though I have a car, it saves the petrol and I get exercise too so it works for me to walk. I rounded the corner to my house and stopped dead when I heard a thought that was not mine surface in my head.

Why did I agree to get out of my apartment again? Oh yeah it's because I can't say no to my best friend, pathetic.

I thought my shields were pretty strong but evidently not if I could hear this guy's thoughts. Wait what?! I never heard thoughts unless I lowered my shields -which I hadn't done- or intentionally picked someone's thoughts out of their head, so who's thoughts were I hearing and why? I looked around and saw two old ladies walking a dog, a woman in her mid-thirties jogging and coming round the corner at the other end of the street were two guys. Well it must be one of them, I thought to myself, there aren't any other guys on this street. I shook my head and continued walking home and in my haste to get into the safety of my quiet apartment, I walked head on into one of the guys I'd seen walking together. "Oh my God I am so sorry! I didn't see you there and oh God I'm so clumsy sometimes! Are you alright?" I noticed I was babbling so I shut up after that question.

"Uhh yeah I'm fine doctor – you are a doctor right?"

The most gorgeous voice I'd ever heard answered me and I raised my head to see who it belonged to and I couldn't help but stare. This guy was probably 5"7 and 100lbs, quite small actually but it wasn't his size that took my breath away. It was his beautiful stormy grey eyes and jet black hair that gave him a messy, freshly awakened look. He was, in short, gorgeous.

"Uhm how did you know I was a doctor?" I finally asked.

He laughed softly, "You are wearing a white coat, and it's usually doctors who wear those"

"Wha-- Oh fuck I should have left this at the hospital" I flushed in embarrassment.

"You seem tired doctor..." He trailed off...

"Oh uhm... Woods, Micael Woods" I smiled warmly at him but didn't hold out my hand as was customary when one met someone new.

"Nice to meet you Doctor Woods, I'm Alex Croon and this is my best friend Miguel Rodriguez." He smiled at me too and I felt a fluttering in my chest.

I turned to the other guy. "Nice to meet you Miguel" This guy had a rough, masculine look about him that suited him perfectly and he was quite handsome in his own way but his masculine beauty paled in comparison to his friend's gorgeousness.

"Nice to meet you too doctor. Do you perhaps live around here?"

"Yeah, uhm, I live on this very street actually. The third house from here."

Both guys looked awestruck. Wow! I heard in my head, he must be a pretty successful doctor. I realised that the voice I'd heard earlier and the one I just heard both belonged to Alex Croon. I quickly made my departure for something – I suddenly realised – about Mr. Croon was beyond my level of understanding.

"Well gentlemen I'd love to stand and chat but I haven't slept in seven days – as you so kindly pointed out Mr. Croon – so I'll leave you to your business."

"Oh yeah... Uhm... It was nice meeting you doctor."

I thought Alex looked somewhat disappointed at my departure but I wrote that off as me imagining things again so I smiled at both of them again and went on my way.

Royaltee
Royaltee
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fukmi_allnitefukmi_allniteabout 12 years ago

I've been trying to read this story since last year, had it bookmarked... Anyhoo, better late than never.

I smiled, I know I'm a sadist, after reading that the Dr. lost 6 patients in one hour. My shitty day paled in comparison. I was thinking, man is he in the wrong profession and no one has stopped him yet. Just trying to see how he rebounds from that alone keeps me reading. I can't wait to see if the constructive criticism provided prior to my comment improves pace of the story, so there's no need to point out things others have already done.

This is a decent first time piece, with room for improvement. Hope this isn't your last foray into muti-chapter writing.

RoyalteeRoyalteeabout 13 years agoAuthor

Ok firstly Micah is Micael shortened, I just wanted to clear that up and secondly I will definitely use all your suggestions and thirdly, thanks for the advice.

canndcanndabout 13 years ago

I agree with the comments that were given. I hope you see that it is other writers trying to help you grow and better your story rather than knocking you. I think you have a good start and if you take the advice of those who gave it, you will do great. I think the plot itself has potential and I want to know how this goes. I agree strongly with researching the medical part. And I'm sure avid could maybe give you some guidance on where to get that info. I hope you'll start with Micah's 'story' in the next chapter like you gave Alex's. It would be good to tell us more about his ablilty and how it affects him. How did it start? How did he learn to control it? And why is Alex able to get through? I look forward to them figuring it out. When you put quotes out, read what you write and see if it is said in a way you'd speak. Like, 'do you perhaps live around here.' the perhaps is used perfectly well, but I don't think people usually would phrase it like that. Oftentimes, we write differently than we'd speak. I am a little scared about him losing 7 patients and I think that the last one dying when some insulin could have saved him is awful so he should have torn that tech a new one :) Anyway, keep up the good work and work on using the pointers you got. I look forward to the next chapter.

kalhokalhoabout 13 years ago

The story line is great but it seems a little rushed to me and you have to be careful about shortening their names because they almost sound alike (mick, nic, migg). Also when you or your editor proofread it, make sure the names coordinator from beginning to the end like here you wrote ("Oh uhm... Woods, Micael Woods") instead of Micah Woods. It discourages people from reading your work if a character has different names in a story especially if it is due to mistake and not identity switch. Overall its a good start. Keep it up.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Good start, needs work

As mentioned, good start. But I have to agree with the feedback offered. Your transitions seem a bit rushed and the medical scene really needs researching. Seems like you wanted the character to be a doctor and put in a medical scenario. FYI 1) the responsibility of breaking the news of a patient's death always lies with the primary care giver ie his physician/surgeon and not a nurse. 2) 7 days of no sleep is impossible unless it is a form of torture. Not only that, but also as a doctor, you WILL make mistakes and likely kill patients...so the loss of 7 patients that day doesn't seem that much of a surprise (though that is probably not what you meant). Thats why there is a medical law prohibiting doctors to function for more than 48 hrs without a break.

Despite some mistakes, I am still looking forward to more about Alex and Micah/Micael. Please continue

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