tagText With AudioCunnilingus Year

Cunnilingus Year

byMungoParkIII©

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Click Here to listen. (4.5 min/mp3)

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Nineteen ninety four was my year of cunnilingus. I lived to eat pussy and that was the only thing continually on my mind. Ah yes, perhaps my mind would wander as a woman passed and my eyes would light on her breasts, perhaps her face or her hair, but each time inevitably my focus would move downward. Tight pants were great that year as through the day a woman’s clothes would work its way into even the most intimate cracks and crevasses. With an appropriately timed gaze I could see a woman’s pussy even if she were fully clothed.

Statistically speaking I had a difficult goal, I mean there is a percentage of women, albeit a very small percentage, but there is definitely a percentage of women a man like me could approach and ask, “May I fuck you?” and their answer would be, “Yes.”

Now, consider the percentage of positive responses a man like me might get asking a woman, “May I perform cunnilingus on you?” Yes, the percentage drops and although a question like this may bring an invitation to kiss another intimate part of her anatomy, you still aren’t eating pussy.

That is not to say I didn’t have opportunities, because I did. There was Shelia, a heavyset girl I met in a bar after work one day. I’ve always been drawn to the bigger women, so when I saw Shelia sitting at the end of the bar I could do nothing else but introduce myself. She smiled and actually talked to me, so I planned to buy her enough drinks to get her drunk. Now like any big person it took a bit more than usual to get Shelia drunk, but after two trips to the ATM, I was pretty sure she was positively drunk.

Of course then I asked her, “Shelia, may I perform cunnilingus on you?”

“Why of course, I was wondering when you’d ask,” she replied, wrapping her arm around me.

Shocked as I was at her response, I was ready. I had anticipated leaving the bar to do this, but she simply stood up, shimmied her panties down and pulled them out from under her dress. Looking around, she quickly lifted her dress and I slid in underneath. It took some doing but I finally pried her thighs far enough apart and I slid my head in.

It was too dark to see anything thing so I did it all by Braille, sliding my tongue in between her labia and pushing it into her pussy. After tasting her and moving my tongue about inside her I moved up to her clit. It was a struggle because just as I thought things were going good, she’d grab my head and pull it close to her. I’d then have to fight just to catch my breath.

I wrestled with that woman’s thighs, labia and clit for over forty-five minutes and she never came. When my jaw finally locked and I fell to the floor in pain I simply had to give up. I sheepishly appeared from under her skirt, took a sip of my beer, kissed her goodnight and left.

Fortunately, my saga for ninety-four was just beginning. Apparently Shelia was simply too drunk to realize I did such a lousy job and considering how long I was down there, she figured she must have come five or six times in that time. In fact she thought it was so good she told all her friends on the women’s wrestling team, who told their friends in the tea-cup league, who told their friends… and so on and so on.

The rest of nineteen ninety-four was set for me. I had women coming up to me in the street and asking me to perform cunnilingus on them. After I performed it with them, they told their friends and so on. I must have had cunnilingus with maybe three or four hundred women.

What always confused me was why they kept coming. I mean I was never very good at cunnilingus, the women never came with me, often they were quite bored. Oddly, the women couldn’t bring themselves to believe I could be that bad, especially since Shelia recommended me. In fact, none believed I was that bad, they convinced themselves they expected too much and they started lowering their expectations when a man crawled between their legs. In that year, I single handedly I lowered the bar for cunninglingists everywhere and so now just a mediocre performance is hailed as wonderful and a gifted performer can lick his way to heaven.

Of course for me, I’ve moved on and though nineteen ninety-four is over I’ve continued to under whelm women everywhere I go. So ladies, keep this in mind when a stranger approaches you and asks, “May I perform cunnilingus on you?” you may have an opportunity to set a new standard in oral sex. Be sure and make the most of it.

 

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by Anonymous

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by reddancer01/07/14

PRONOUNCE IT RIGHT, PLZ

CUH-NI- LIN-GUS!!! NOT CUNNING LINGUS!

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