Damn Dress: A Love Story Ch. 08

He knew she wasn't like them, but God he couldn't help but to think it the moment those words tumbled from her mouth. Fuck, he needed to get his shit together. He couldn't come undone like this every time he and Sienna argued. But she had this powerful effect on him that left him cut open and wounded by her actions...or lack thereof. Brandon realized in their relationship, he felt extreme highs and extreme lows. There seemed to be no in between. No middle ground. With their love, it was all or nothing. When it was good...oh, it was sooooo good. But when it was bad, it was soul destroying. He wanted to turn back around, but he felt he would be the biggest pussy if he did. And for her to know that she had him completely sprung, was too much for him. He wasn't ready to relinquish that power to her. Not yet.

He had decided to head back to the bar. He was ready for another round of drinks. He wanted to get so fucked up and drown out every single negative thought. He realized that wasn't the mature or healthy way to handle his problems, but fuck if he had a better idea.

When he reached the bar, it was closed. Fuck! He sat there in his Jeep staring at the place. Maybe he could crash at Darren's tonight. He started making his way over there.

Finally, after a few more minutes, he decided to turn his cell phone back on to call Darren about crashing at his place. When he did, he noticed that there were 12 missed phone calls. One from Sienna, two from Lori, two from the Commander and seven from Darren. What the fuck? Before he could listen to them, his phone started vibrating again. It was Darren, so he opened it up.

"Darren, I don't feel like dealing with this shit--"

"Sienna's in the hospital," he heard Darren say.

Brandon felt like his heart had stopped and his skin went cold. What?!

"What?!" he repeated aloud into the phone.

"She passed out over at your place and we're at St. Michaels now, 6th floor. We've all been trying to call you," Darren said, clearly agitated.

Brandon sat there dumbfounded. This couldn't be happening. No way this is happening. He clicked the phone off. He couldn't hear anymore. He was going to be sick. He slammed his Jeep into gear and sped down the street. Everything was a blur for him at this moment. He couldn't think straight.

When he arrived at the hospital, he parked in a no parking zone and jumped out. He darted to the elevators cursing the doors for taking so long to shut. The ride up seemed like it lasted an hour, and all the while, Brandon knew God was punishing him.

When he got off on the 6th floor he turned to the left and then right trying to locate someone to direct him in the right place. He saw Darren leaning up against the wall with his head down. He felt sick. He walked over to Darren.

"Where is she?" he whispered, already looking at the closed door beside Darren.

Darren was just about to tell him when the Commander and Chris came out of the room and quickly shut the door back. That shook Brandon for a moment. Seeing Chris leaving her room before he even was able to see her. He ignored the burning in his scalp and was about to walk past them and enter when Jackson stopped him by placing his hand on his shoulder.

"Brandon, she's resting right now, and she doesn't need any stress, okay?" he said lightly to the tense young man.

No, they didn't understand. He HAD to see her. "Please sir, I just want to see her. Please, I won't stress her out!" Brandon pleaded.

"Brandon, no. She needs her rest. You can see her later. She's okay right now, but I can't let you in there just yet. Alright?"

"Commander, I promise, PLEASE, I won't bother her. I just want to see her, I won't say anything, please!" Brandon felt his entire body trembling. He was becoming short of breath.

Jackson exhaled, "Brandon, let's all just go sit in the waiting room and let her sleep. When she wakes up and the doctor says it's okay, you can go in, okay?"

Part of Brandon wanted to barrel past the Commander and enter the room anyway, but the other more responsible part wanted her to be okay above and beyond what he wanted. So, he conceded and followed the Commander to the waiting room.

They were all sitting in the small maternity waiting room. Luckily they were the only group in there. Darren glanced around the room taking in the sad/tense atmosphere. Commander Branson sat back in his chair, in deep thought. Lori had almost cried herself to sleep, and was now desperately trying not to nod off. Chris was sitting beside Lori, opposite of Brandon and leering at him. And Brandon, he was a wreck. He had his hands pushed through his hair, with his elbows resting on his legs. His right leg was tapping up and down rapidly. God, Darren felt sorry for him.

Brandon was silently freaking out. He was half praying, half begging for her to be okay. He was trying to run the last night and this morning's events over in his head through his drunken haze. Nothing like your heart being ripped out to sober you up. He felt so useless. He still didn't know what the hell had happened, but he had been too shaken up to even think to ask that logical question

No one had said a word since they entered the room. Darren stared back over at Chris. He noticed that the kid kept giving the impression that he was going to say something, but then he'd close his mouth. 'That's right, he better keep his mouth closed in this situation,' Darren thought.

But instead of Chris, it was Lori who spoke first.

"Brandon?"

Brandon looked up to find Lori and Chris staring at him. "Yeah," he croaked out weakly.

"Did you two have an argument or something? Why was she there so late by herself?" Lori asked.

Coming from anyone else, Brandon would have lost his shit right then. His body was tightly wound and he was just looking for an excuse to put all of his anger and frustration and sadness on someone else. But he knew Lori meant no harm by it. She really did want to know what happened.

"I—we got into an argument, and I said some things I shouldn't have and then left," Brandon whispered, looking down toward the floor.

Chris scoffed again and Brandon's head shot toward him. Chris noticed

Brandon's eyes narrow.

"Typical," Chris said under his breath.

"What?" Brandon asked, leaning toward the edge of the couch.

At first Chris looked away from Brandon, but he was itching to disclose what he felt everyone else was thinking. That's it, he was getting this off of his chest once and for all.

"Okay, you know what, I will say it. You shouldn't have left her there by herself. Especially not in her fragile condition. Stress...that's what has her laying in there with tubes in her nose barely conscious--"

"Chris, stop right now," Jackson warned. But Chris ignored him. He felt fire in his veins at that moment, and Brandon was going to fucking listen to him!

"--and that stress is because of you! She's lying in there sick and hurting because of you! And the baby...may not even live...because-of-YOU!" Chris yelled out.

Everyone in the room went silent. The only noise was a phone ringing in the distance. Darren's eyes widened and Lori was staring wildly at Chris with her mouth open.

Chris gulped and glanced around the room. He was expecting the others to join in with him, but everyone was looking at him like he was crazy.

Darren noticed Brandon's foot stopped tapping and he went completely still. Shit. Darren recognized that sign and it wasn't good. Of all the fucking times for this dumb kid to open his mouth...

A second later, Lori jumped out of the way and screamed when Brandon launched for Chris and grabbed his throat, slamming him down on the couch.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!!" Brandon screamed at Chris while he tried to squeeze his hand around his throat. Darren was there in an instant pulling Brandon back.

Jackson jumped up and grabbed Brandon also, trying to remove his body off of Chris, but Brandon wasn't letting go.

"Brandon! Let go of him, now!" Jackson barked out.

Brandon was still yelling at him even after they unclamped his vice grip from Chris's neck. "SAY ONE MORE THING TO ME, MOTHERFUCKER!! One more FUCKING word!!" Brandon shouted in the distance as the Commander and Darren half carried, half drug him out of the waiting room and down the hall to the closest bathroom.

Chris quickly sat up from the couch, rubbing his neck and gasping for air. He couldn't believe that just happened. For a brief moment, he had thought he was going to die.

He glanced over to Lori with wide eyes. She was staring at him with her eyes narrowed. "You know, you have the most unbelievably dumb fucking timing of anyone I've ever met," she said to him, and then walked out of the waiting room.

In the bathroom, Brandon leaned over the sink, clutching it for support. He felt as though his entire body was in flames. He needed to see her. Speak to her and tell her that he was so fucking sorry for everything. Amazing how just a few hours ago, he didn't want to see her face, and now he was begging God to let him see that beautiful face one more time.

"What happened to her?" he asked shakily, raising up from the sink.

Jackson thought about how he was going to answer that. "Darren? Can you give me a moment with Brandon," he asked, and then turned back to Brandon when Darren walked out.

Jackson felt Brandon needed to know the truth, without any type of sugar coating.

"A neighbor found her lying on the ground outside of your house. She was passed out and bleeding. They aren't quite sure how long she had been lying there. Her weakened state is due to high stress. They believe she will be just fine, but they aren't so sure about the baby. Miscarriages are high during the first trimester and the baby is still a question mark," the Commander said, laying it all out there for Brandon.

Jackson knew this last part would hurt, but he had to tell him. He needed to know. "She said she tried to call you first, but you wouldn't pick up. And then that's the last thing she remembered."

Brandon stared blankly at the Commander as he leaned up against the wall. Years and years of pent up aggression, depression, self-loathing and every other emotion he had been harboring for 28 years finally came erupting to the surface like a volcano spilling out. In his mind, she could have died...

Brandon Caleb Temple cracked. He couldn't take it anymore.

He grabbed his face and burst into tears as he slid down to the floor. He felt like he was suffocating. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't see past the flood of tears gushing from his eyes.

Jackson knelt down on one knee beside Brandon.

"I'm soo fucking sorryyy—so sorr—oh, God, please--," Brandon tried to get out, but tears stung his eyes and he could only communicate through every other breath due to his body shaking from his sobs. "Fuck, he-he's right. This is-is my fa-fault! Fuck, fuck, fuck," he whispered in a hoarse cry.

Jackson leaned over and wrapped his arm around his 'son'. "Brandon," Jackson said, over the young man's cries, "You are going to learn from this, and you are going to grow from this. It might be the hardest lesson you've ever had to learn, but you will learn from it."

Darren lightly tapped on the door and walked in, "Hey Commander, hate to bother you, but the doc is back. He wants to speak with you."

Jackson patted Brandon's head and got up from the floor and walked out. Darren leaned against the far wall staring down at his broken friend. His heart went out to him. He felt that Brandon's worst enemy was always himself.

"You okay, man?" he asked.

Brandon sniffled. "No, not really," he answered honestly.

Darren walked over to him and offered his hand and pulled him from the floor.

When they walked out, they saw Lori standing beside Sienna's door. She turned to them and smiled. Brandon's heart leapt. He walked over to her. "What did the doctor say?" he asked anxiously.

"She's fine and the baby's fine! Oh, God, I'm so happy. They said she just needs rest and no stress, and she should be fine in a day or so," Lori answered, smiling from ear to ear.

Brandon placed his hand over his chest. He could finally breathe. He went to turn the door handle to Sienna's room, when Lori lightly grabbed his hand. Her smile faded.

"BT, I'm...um, I'm sorry. We told her you were here, but Sienna thinks it's best if you don't see her right now."

Brandon froze. She didn't want to see him? Oh, fuck, that hurt like a kick to the gut. He quickly removed his hand from the knob as if it burned and stared at the door.

Brandon exhaled. "Okay, but she's alright now?" he asked again, just trying to reassure himself.

"Yes, she's fine."

Brandon continued staring at the door, and then at Lori. "I'll, uh, I'll go sit in the waiting room. Can you just tell her that I love her so much and I'm sorry," he said.

"Yes, I'll tell her," Lori promised, as she opened the door and re-entered the room.

Brandon went back into the waiting room and sat down. Maybe if he sat here long enough, she'd change her mind. And he didn't care how long that took, he would wait.

Sienna just wanted to go home. She hated hospitals and she hated feeling so weak. Mentally and physically. But she was so happy that the baby was okay. That was all that mattered to her right now. She couldn't believe how much that had changed. Just a few days ago, she had considered an abortion, and now the thought of her not meeting this little creature caused her to panic. She glanced at her door, knowing that Brandon was out there.

Although this would hurt her more than any pain she had probably felt in her life...it was time to step off of this rollercoaster.

"Daddy," Sienna quietly said.

"Yes, baby?" the Commander asked, getting up to stand beside her.

"When can I go home?"

"Tomorrow. The doctor said you're growing stronger by the hour, so tomorrow morning we can get you out of here."

"Okay. Thank you," she said, not sure how to tell her father what else she was thinking.

But the Commander knew his daughter. "What's wrong, Sienna?" he asked.

She hesitated for a moment and then asked, "Daddy, do you mind if I move back in with you?" She knew tears were welling up in her eyes, but she couldn't help it.

Jackson stared down at his daughter. "Baby, no need to ever ask me that. Of course you can."

Sienna nodded and turned to look back at the door. This would be the hardest thing she ever had to do, but she was lying in a hospital and Brandon was so miserable, he couldn't even bear to be around her. Love wasn't supposed to leave you broken like this, was it? She no longer wanted to hurt him. And she figured he wouldn't want to hurt her anymore. Being apart, was the only option left for them to take. After an hour of trying to convince herself that she could do it, she finally drifted back to sleep.

**********************

Brandon sat on his couch cloaked in misery. He had spent the night in the waiting room, only to have the Commander wake him up and say that he still couldn't see Sienna and it was best if he went home.

At first he had protested, but Commander Branson had said it was for her own good, because they didn't want to add any extra stress. So Brandon conceded again.

Earlier that morning when he had arrived back at his home, he checked his voicemail for the first time. The first message was from Sienna and listening to how weak she sounded and asking him to take her to the hospital fucking destroyed him. Could the ground open up and devour him? Please?!

And about an hour ago, he had received a call from the Commander saying that he was stopping by to retrieve Sienna's belongings. She was moving out. Brandon was so confused. He wasn't sure where this left them.

Brandon heard the Commander pull up to his house. He opened the door to greet him. Neither man said a word as they packed her clothes into her light pink suitcases. Brandon looked around the rest of the house picking up different artifacts of hers, each one chipping a little bit at his heart. He went to the bathroom and saw her red dress from the night of their first 'official' date lying behind the bathroom door.

He wanted to break down and cry right then, but a man can only shed so many tears. And he'd shed a lifetimes worth in a day and a half. He quickly picked the dress up and threw it into his guest room. He would keep that as a souvenir of one of the best nights of his life.

When they were done packing, Jackson turned to Brandon. He was so uncomfortable with being stuck in the middle of this, but he knew his daughter couldn't do it.

"Um, Brandon, I need to speak with you."

Brandon turned to look at the Commander. He had distressing look on his face. Oh, shit. Here it comes.

"Well, Sienna wanted me to tell you that she thinks you and she need to be apart. And she's sorry she couldn't tell you personally, but the idea of talking to you on the phone, or even writing a letter was causing her to get upset...so I made her stop."

Fuck. Brandon exhaled and nodded his head. He couldn't begin to express to anyone how he felt. Hell, he didn't even know how he felt. Was there a word to even describe his own personal hell that kept getting deeper and deeper?

"Okay," was all he could say.

Jackson stood there for a moment looking at Brandon. He looked much like he did when Jackson had first seen him. Empty eyes.

"Brandon, perhaps you should continue going to counseling," Jackson suggested.

Brandon shook his head, "No, doesn't really help someone as fucked up as me. And I don't like talking to strangers."

"Well, what about me?" Jackson asked, before he really had a chance to think it through.

"What?"

"I'm not a stranger. I could come over here, two times a week or so, and we can shoot the shit. Plus, I'd enjoy spending more time with you like we used to do."

Brandon couldn't believe the Commander was saying that. He wanted to be his shrink or whatever? Perhaps it wasn't a bad idea. He trusted the Commander more than anyone else.

"Alright," Brandon said, not giving it much more thought. His mind was on Sienna.

"Well, now that it's settled, I'll see you later this week," Jackson said, reaching over to shake his hand. Brandon shook his hand back, but the Commander held his longer and stared at him. "Brandon, remember what I told you years ago when you were training?"

"You told me a lot of stuff, sir," Brandon quietly admitted.

Jackson chuckled and let go of his hand. So he had. Sienna had been such a girl. She liked pink, played Barbie dolls and wore dresses all the time. Not a tomboyish thing about her. So, to talk about football, military and things that a father would tell a son, Jackson welcomed those opportunities with Brandon.

"I guess I have told you a lot. But I also told you not to blame the world for what your mom, aunt and uncle did. They lost out on the chance to know an amazing young man. So don't let them hold you back, because you deserve better."

"Yes sir, I remember you telling me that," Brandon answered.

"Good. Now try to start believing it," Jackson said, as he turned and walked out.

*********************

Sienna was nervous. She knew what she was asking for wasn't the norm. She was aware of the fact that classes started in less than two weeks since she had practically memorized their student calendar. Funny where life takes you sometimes. She knew her father had wanted her to wait until Spring semester, but Sienna didn't want to miss a beat. She wanted to get her life back on track before Hurricane Brandon blew it all over the place, and the idea of sitting around an extra 5 months with nothing to do but think of HIM, was not that appealing. She had only been out of the hospital a little over a week, but she felt much better and was determined to get her life organized.