Dear Diary, It's Nicky's Mother

Dear Nicky's Diary,

I want to talk to you in person, I really do. However, I can't seem to find the words when I try to talk to you in person, so I'm hoping I can here. I'm writing this note, and having Johnny slip it into your journal, because I need you to understand how I feel. I understand having any contact with Johnny, even if it's just asking him to get this to you is wrong at this point, but I have no other choice. Your my daughter and I love you and never wanted to hurt you. I know your an adult now and you don't need my as much, but you're always going to be my little girl. Sometimes I can't believe how fast the last twenty years have gone by. Watching you grow up into a young women was an amazing experience and I just want you to be happy. I want you and Johnny to be happy and I want to be apart of your life.

Johnny really is a great guy and you two seem to make each other so happy. I was so glad when the two of you started dating. I knew that you had finally found a man. I say man because the first time I met him, I got the feeling he was going to take good care of you. He spoke to me with respect and seemed to absolutely adore you. He was unlike all of those immature little boys you had dated before. I could tell from the beginning that the two of you would be together and happy a long time. All of that makes what happened so much harder. I could tell you that what happened was all because of how much I missed your father, but honestly it wasn't. At this point I wont lie to you, I want you to know the complete truth.

What happened that night with your boyfriend was more about my own insecurity and making myself feel young again. I mean, I'm sure you can understand how much better it made me feel. To know even at my age, I could still turn on a young man with ease. To be able to even after all these years, manipulate and seduce a man, with little or no effort. Now I know, your boyfriend Johnny wasn't the best choice, but it sure felt like the right choice. I know it may seem sick to say, but to be able to turn on a man so devoted to such a beautiful woman, to be able to turn on a man so devoted to my beautiful daughter, was just the confidence boost I needed. Please remember before you get mad, at least I am being honest.

I'm sure you're thinking I am the worst mother in the world, that I am a complete villain in all this. If you remember correctly though, when you moved in I told you and Johnny there could be no funny business in my house. Did you listen to me though? Of course not. I know you two think you are pretty crafty when it comes to having sex in the house without anyone knowing, but you're not. I lost count of the number of times I could hear the bed posts banging against the wall, or the amount of times I could hear the echo of you screaming his name from downstairs. You know how empty this big house is over the last few years, you can't tell me you two didn't realize how loud the echo was? It makes me think the two of you wanted me to hear you. It makes me think the two of you are just as sick and perverse as I am. It doesn't matter though, what I did was wrong, and I'm sorry.

I know you, you're my daughter and they say the apple never falls far from the tree. So if I'm right, you're already playing the blame game in your head, on who did what wrong first. So if you really want to get into who did wrong to who first, what about the time you had sex on my bed, while watching the tape of your father and I. Yes, I know all about it. I came home early that day, and walked upstairs to find the sound of sex blasting through the house. You had left the door wide open, and I could hear the sound of your father. I thought I was going crazy hearing your father groaning, but as I came closer to the door, I could see what was going on. There the two of your were, going at it like jack rabbits, watching a private tape we had made. I watched the two of you, I watched as he worked you doggie style, while you watched your father giving it to me on the tape. This only goes to support what I was saying earlier.

To be honest, that's exactly what sparked the thoughts of seducing Johnny in my head. If you could do something so ridiculous, why couldn't I? After all, Johnny had such a nice cock, I was sure he could use another pussy to pound. So I gave Johnny what he needed, and he gave me what I needed. I'm sorry you got hurt Nicky, that was never the purpose. I just needed to feel young, to feel fulfilled, and to feel like I still had a life. I understand, if you never want to talk to me again, but know that I'm sorry. Hopefully you'll at least take the time to respond, afterall we are family.

-Mom