Dear Edith Etiquette

Dear Edith Etiquette

For dinner guests, presentation is everything.

Dear Edith Etiquette:

Q: Are cum stains on the table cloth too “gauche” for a dinner party?

As a hostess, for a dinner party at my house, I wanted to create the perfect ambiance for the evening. In preparation for the evening,I closely inspected the table settings. I had just finished showering and was downstairs in my robe. Jeffrey, our male servant, had set an exquisite table, sparkling with our finest china, crystal and silver. While each individual setting was perfect, with the correct placement of the dinner fork, salad fork, knife, spoon, etc. I did notice that the butter dish was placed at an odd angle.

I immediately reached to straighten the dish and to my horror, I discovered the faint hint of a stain, a butter stain. Immediately calling Jeffrey to the table, he admitted to a minor indiscretion, spilling the butter onto the table cloth. Although he quickly retrieved the butter from the table cloth, the stain remained. Realizing there wasn’t enough time to clean the tablecloth, I leaned over the table and tried to arrange the butter dish so it ran parallel to the table and still covered the butter stain.

The stain was a bit difficult to cover without angling the dish, but with some careful effort I finally got it perfectly place. I asked Jeffrey to take a look and confirm that the stain was fully covered, but when he leaned over the table, I felt a hard protuberance from his pants rub against my ass. Feeling him through the scant fabric for my gown was exhilarating and before I considered what I was doing, I reached my hand around and grasped him firmly.

He reached around my gown, untied the silk belt and slipped my garment off my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. In response, I turned and unfastened his belt and pants, letting his pants fall to the floor. Jeffrey quickly removed the rest of his clothes and with a wild sweep of his arms, shoved several of the table setting aside.

Lifting me up on the table, he kneeled down as I spread my legs as wide as I could get them, giving his mouth complete access to my wet pussy. He moved slowly, as if first tasting a fine wine, dipping his tongue just into my cunt and withdrawing, I could hear him take a deep breath, smelling my fine bouquet. After a moment of savoring the complexities of my essence, he then drove his tongue into me lapping my juices before moving his attention to my clit. While that magnificent tongue delicately devoured my clit, he began sliding fingers into me, first one, then another… I lost count at three, as I ran my hands around his head and pulled him hard to me.

Careful not to disturb the centerpiece, I leaned back on my elbows, closed my eyes and let the wet sensations roll over me. Feeling my legs begin to cramp at being held in the air, I rested them on his shoulders. It was a delicious sight seeing my legs wrap around this Adonis of a man as his head moved over my pussy.

I was nearing orgasm, when he moved his head away, grabbed me, turned me around and bent me over the table. Lifting me some, he positioned me up on the table, so I could spread my legs, hooking my toes on the table on each side of me. Basically doing the “splits” at the edge of the table, I was wide open to the stoic curve of his cock. Arching my back, I watched him come at me, his cock curling up from his crotch. I watched the huge, purple head disappear from view as I felt my lips pried apart, first by his fingers, then by the soft skin of his hard rod.

He entered me slowly, as if savoring each delicate fold of my wet opening. I ached for him to pierce me with his tube steak, but he lingered, just inside me as if I were an hors d’oeuvre, his cock, teasing its palate. I felt myself begin to tremble and turned to him and whispered, “Please.”

Taking hold of my hips, he drove himself into me, piercing me with a full, hard pleasure. He gorged himself in me, as my pussy gulped him in, swallowing the immense length of him. His balls slapped against my clit and I moaned his name as I suddenly came in intense waves, my cunt walls grasping his cock in ecstasy. Feeling me surge, he plunged the depth of me, filling me with his hot, spicy sauce.

I felt his chest on my back, as he leaned onto me, catching his breath. We remained motionless, as his cock, every so slowly, melted out of me. We moved off of the table, and after a quick kiss, got dressed. We then noticed the mingled cum that had oozed out of my satisfied cunt in a pool on the table, the thick white circled by an expanding dark, wet spot in the table cloth.

Jeffrey immediately grabbed a towel to wipe it up, but I stopped him, fascinated by the glistening gobs. I set a plate over the puddle and moved my name card to that setting. Smiling, he quickly re-arranged the table, finishing with a careful placement of the butter bowl.

Did I react correctly, covering the stain as I did, or should I have done something else?

Gentle Writer:

A: It’s a delicate situation for sure, but I think you reacted correctly. While cum stains on a tablecloth offer a more intimate invitation to the casual dinner guest, certainly in a more formal setting the cum stain concealed under a plate can become an interesting conversation piece during the evening.

While certainly you will keep it concealed from your husband or boyfriend, it does make an eye-opening trophy you can exhibit for your closest friends. Imagine the look on that witch society bitch that everyone hates’ face when your lover, removes your plate from the table, exposing the white stain. A loving stroke of his ass as he turns, will mark him as the donor of some of that magnificent ooze.

Your friends will be oozing themselves if you describe your afternoon as eloquently as you did in your letter. Who knows, they may offer to come early to your next party to help you get set up.