Dear Linda

Christmas, 1992

Linda:

I love you.

I love making love to you.

I love rubbing your back as you are lying face down on the bed, rubbing your shoulders first, then the small of your back, then back up to your shoulders and down again, a little further every time, gradually reaching your hips and ass. Back up a little, bring my hands along your sides, slide them under you to feel the beginnings of your tits, then slipping my hands lower, kneading your hips and the backs of your thighs and the outsides of your thighs and gradually moving over to the insides of your thighs, inching closer to where I want to get.

By this time, you know exactly what I am doing and your cunt has begun to cream a little. Even though you are tired, your lower belly is starting to feel warm and funny. You are expecting my hands to get closer to your cunt and here they come now, my forefinger sliding up and down on the outside of your underpants along your slit which is getting wetter and wetter. Now the thumbs are pushing the crotch of your underpants to the side and a finger is snaking in, spreading your engorged cunt lips, making you creamier and creamier. My finger plunges in a little, gets thoroughly moist, and slithers up to your clitoris.

Now your cunt is really sopping and I am getting pretty excited too. I withdraw my finger and massage your back again for a while. This time, when my hands travel downwards to your ass, they pull your underpants down to bare your cheeks. My hands trail over your bottom. You sigh (moan? groan?) and spread your legs just enough to signal that you want my finger in your cunt and on your clit again, and to make it easy for me to get my finger there.

After a little while, I push you so that you turn over on your back, still with your legs spread. Now I can see your wet cunt in the middle of your hairy mound. It is pink and red and purple, and when I bring my face closer, I discover the little clit under its hood and I smell the musky smell of your cunt. I suck off my finger and then I kiss your mouth, my finger frigging you in the meanwhile. Lying next to you, I can look down and see the fat hairy mound moving as I churn my finger around. You are so wet now that there are squishy sounds coming from your cunt.

Then, I start kissing your mouth and your neck and your shoulders and if it is hot and you haven't put on quite enough deodorant, I can catch a whiff of sweat which is quite a turn-on at the right time, which it is now. I trail my tongue down to your breast and your nipple, which I know you don't care that much for, but which does turn me on. Then I rearrange myself so that I face down your body with my head between your legs and I start sucking you off. I lick your clitoris and your outer lips and your inner lips and the entrance to your cunt-hole and back up again.

Then I venture a little lower, to that sensitive area between vagina and anus, and I can feel you wiggling up to meet my face and my lips, inviting me to reach my tongue further down, to rim your asshole just for a few moments, then getting back up to the clitoris again, but you want me to lick your asshole some more and you let me know (that's one of the best parts, when you let me know that you want something else, or some more) by wriggling and even pushing my head with your hands.

Then I stick my tongue in as far as it will go, feeling your sphincter relent and your asshole open up ever so little. My chin is up against your cunt and occasionally rubbing your clit and your whole cunt area is starting to come alive, moving rhythmically in time with my licking and sucking and rubbing. When I get back to licking your cunt, you are sopping wet and I just bob my head up and down between clit and cunthole, lapping, making little slurping sounds, and now your underbelly is bucking and you are moaning--not sighing, now; this requires a keyboard with repeating keys, mmmmmmh, oooooooooooh, unnnnnnnnnh--and I can picture the look on your face, all scrunched up as though coming made you suffer (yeah, right) and then a final bucking or two and a letting out of breath while I take a couple of gentle licks before I move back to where I can kiss you. And having a cunt hair or two in my mouth is only a thrill, and so is having a chin that glistens with your come and smells of your come and tastes of your come.

I love it when you have just come and you start working your hands on me, on my face and shoulders and chests, cool, long fingertips just gently teasing my nipples and rubbing the areas around them. Next, your fingers come back to the nipple and start squeezing, gently at first, then a little harder. As my nipples harden, so does my cock. Now your fingernails are doing the squeezing, more like pinching, really, and it is hurting a little bit and that excites me even more.

Finally, you put your mouth on one nipple and start licking and biting quite gently while your hand has reached my prick and is pulling the foreskin back. Your hand has grasped my cock and is moving slowly up and down, gently jerking me off. Your thumb is resting against the underside of my glans, rubbing it softly as your finger-sheath moves up and down. Now you let go of my cock except for your forefinger, which is rubbing the top of my exposed, purplish head. My pelvis is rocking up and down to help you set the rhythm. Now your head leaves my nipple and trails down to my cock. While fingers replace mouth on the nipples, your mouth engulfs my prick, warm and wet like a cunt, yet quite different from a cunt. Your other hand is fondling my balls and tracing down towards my asshole without quite reaching it.

In the meanwhile, I want to touch you intimately, too, so I wriggle around until my hand can rest comfortably against your cunt again. And I discover that you are wetter than ever, completely slick, and I rub my hand quickly up and down, one finger in and out of your cunt and the heel of my palm on your clit. Your head is bobbing up and down on my cock faster and faster, you are making slurping and smacking sounds and my hips are bucking until...there I come, from the depth of my gut, spurting my sperm into your mouth. You let go of my cock and lie back. Now I can kiss you, with your mouth full of my come, and my face still tasting of your cunt.

I love to imagine, sometimes, that you pull your head off just as I come and I splatter your face with spunk. Just porn cliché or something deeper?

I love it even more when I can use baby oil or moisturizer while massaging you--your back, your asscheeks, the crack of your ass, your chest, your breasts, your nipples, your belly, your cunt.

* * * * * *

I love you when you take the initiative for sex. I can remember that afternoon we were lying on the bed in my studio in Stockholm, reading or dozing, and I was suddenly wide awake and alert because of a rhythmic movement next to me. There you were lying with your fingers brazenly up your twat, frigging away. I like to imagine you masturbating when I'm away, fantasizing about us, about old times or perhaps about trying something new. Did you fantasize about me fucking your asshole before we finally did it?

I loved the other morning when you were rubbing my shoulder and moving your fingers towards my chest so that I had started thinking about sex and hoping that you would get to tweaking my nipples, and then you wiggled around so that my hand touched your mound through your nightgown and you moved up and down so that I would know that you were hot.

I love when you've had a little bit to drink and when I kiss you, you plaster your pelvis against mine and keep moving it just a little bit back and forth and from side to side, trying to envelop my thigh in yours. Then I like to hold you tight and slide my hands up and down your back and down to your ass and cupping your asscheeks, sneaking my hands around your back and between your legs as far as I can, feeling the elastic band of your underpants and sensing the wiry cunt hair through the material.

* * * * * *

I love to imagine you being as bold with others, before we met. The idea of fucking a taxi-driver, for example; I do not fantasize about specific details, but I get excited just at the thought of your making him understand that you wouldn't mind it if he took out his fat prick and stuck it up your cunt. Usually, I imagine you as being in charge of the seduction--as you did with me--and the very idea gets me hard.

I have written this in several sittings, and so far, I've had to stop to jack off at least three times. I love fantasizing about you and about your cunt getting wet as you read this. Maybe your hand will even snake in under your elastic band and creep down to your cunt, slip inside to get all lubricated and then gently frig your clitoris, gradually going harder and harder, repeating the lubrication (not very hard to do when your vagina is so wet) until you finally climax with that strained expression on your face, moaning as you come. I'm going to stop now so that I can masturbate.

* * * * * *

I love picturing you with someone else. I can imagine you and Brad in the Holiday Inn on Route 12. You knock on the door of his hotel room; he opens it and you embrace him, just affectionately at first, because you haven't seen him for so long, and then he starts squeezing you harder and you start moving and you can feel his prick against your thigh and pelvis and you instantly get excited and the juices start running.

You kiss him and your tongues intertwine and play games with each other. His hands are roaming over your body, squeezing your tits and your ass. His pelvis is straining into yours. You rub slowly against him and then bring your hand down to touch his erection through his pants. Then you zip him down and pull his big, purple, circumcised cock out and you bend over and take it in your mouth.

In the meanwhile, his hand is getting under your skirt, going straight to your pussy (you weren't wearing any underpants that day) and feeling your wetness. His finger goes up your vagina and then plays with your clitoris. You break apart and both get undressed in a hurry. You're ready first and you lie down on the bed, legs spread, your finger furiously rubbing your clit while waiting for his cock. Then he is ready: he thrusts his cock into your cunt and rides you, pumps you, fucks you until you come. He pulls his cock out and puts it in your mouth and you give him beautiful head. Then he goes down on you, sucking and licking your clit, playing his tongue into your vagina, licking you back from the vagina to the asshole, rimming you. Then he fucks you again, harder and harder until you both come.

When you are done, he pulls out and your cunt is dripping with his come. That is when I come in from wherever I've been watching you. I go wild licking another man's come out of your twat. I bury my face in your steaming cunt and hardly have time to breathe. Then I roll over and you sit on my prick while Brad is fingering your asshole and caressing your breasts and Frenching you and his penis is gradually getting erect again. When I come, it is one of the most intense, most satisfying orgasms I've ever had. We continue having sex for a long time, mostly alternating, but sometimes one of us is fucking or sucking your cunt while you are sucking the other. Maybe we end up with me in your cunt, Brad in your asshole, and all three coming at the same time.

* * * * * *

I love remembering that Friday night you picked me up at Fiumicino without any underpants on. Seeing and touching your hairy pussy under your skirt was a tremendous turn-on. One of my favorite fantasies is of you walking around the house fully dressed, minus underpants, waiting for me to come home from wherever I've been--a trip, the office, the store--and kissing me when I come home, gradually making it hotter and hotter until I start running my hands over your pelvis and I realize... We barely take time to get upstairs before we are all undressed, fingering and sucking and fucking each other. Or we are driving into Atlanta, minus the kids, and you pull your skirt up higher and higher on I-75 to show me your wet cunt. (Driving on the expressway with one hand while the other is frigging your wet quim is too dangerous--I think we'd better leave this as a fantasy.)

* * * * * *

I love remembering those first few weeks--when you came to see me the first time in Stockholm; in Rio at Christmas. You made me feel as virile as a porn star, making you come again and again, lasting almost as long as I wanted, ready to get a hard on again within minutes of spending. "We've got five minutes before we have to go? Let's fuck!"

* * * * * *

I love thinking of you with another woman. This is more intellectual, "in the brain," than most of my other fantasies. I have a harder time picturing what you would actually do. Would you make her come with your hand? Would you rub pussies together? Would you eat her cunt? Would you touch or squeeze or pinch her nipples? Would you be on top or underneath? What would she do to you? Stick a finger up your cunt or rub your clit or suck you out? Play with your ass? I sometimes wonder what you and Connie did with each other, what your style was, so to say. Did you ever fuck with any other women?

I love fantasizing that you seduce a lesbian or bisexual woman and then bring her to me so we can enjoy her together.

* * * * * *

I love thinking back on some of the outrageous places we made each other come: the plane flying back from Chicago, the bus from Stockholm to Arlanda, the TGV train from Paris to Lyon.

I also love thinking back to the time we went to the porno movie theater in New York. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep my climax back until we returned to the hotel. That's a place where I would have liked for us to jack each other off! (Except, of course, that your pregnant belly would have interfered.) An ideal spot for the sans panties fantasy As I remember it, I didn't last very long when we made it back to the Sheraton to fuck.

I love renting a porn movie and sitting down to watch it with you. Maybe you have only a robe on or maybe something more; anyway, I just sit next to you as close as I can, with my hand on your thigh, thinking of how wet you are and anticipating the moment when I will reach under your clothes for your dripping cunt. When I do, I'm never disappointed; rather, I am almost invariably surprised at how hot you get.

I'd love to have a recording of us making love. I've sometimes thought of renting a VCR and setting it up to record us having sex. But for really good fuck shots, you have to have someone behind the camera and that sort of limits the possibilities. I've also thought of buying a Polaroid camera and taking cunt shots of you. There is possibly nothing quite so sordid as a Polaroid dirty picture, but for film to be developed, we'd have to develop it ourselves and it seems excessive to equip a whole photo lab in the basement for the sake of pictures of a cunt that I can look at live whenever I (and you) want. Although there is something about being able to carry sexy pictures of you around with me that is tempting... And perhaps the very sordidness of the Polaroids adds to their appeal.

* * * * * *

I love fucking you.

I love sucking you.

I love touching you.

I love you when you get turned on.

I love you when you fuck me.

I love you when you suck me.

I love you when you touch me--prick, asshole, nipples, back of the neck--anywhere!

I love you.

But you know that, don't you.

Erik