Death of a ThumbbySalvor-Hardon©
with apologies to Franz Kafka
Vella awoke that morning feeling unusual. She tried to stretch but couldn't as if her arms were just not there. She tried to get out of bed, but her legs were gone. She blinked and tried to look around the room but everything was larger, farther away.
Suddenly she felt herself rising, lifting up and flying through the air. She saw what had to be a 200 foot tall mirror and then she realized her predictament. She was no longer herself, she was Salvor's thumb!
Once the realization settled in, it began to sink in that she was in fact a thumb, his left thumb to be precise. Thinking, feeling, all the inner qualities of a person but outwardly bound as a thumb on the hand of a man from the Lit boards. Granted its a cute thumb, so it could be worse, like waking up as a dog's tail, or ted-E-Bare's big toe, but still, she was a thumb.
Quietly as she came to grips with her new situation, she had an idea. Here was her one chance to have a voyeurisitc moment without reprisal. Not just seeing what someone does but also how they do it and such. She smiled as much as she could then sat back, letting the hand move her as Salvor began his day.
Vella began to hear a voice, distant, indistinct but as she strained to hear it she realized it was Sal himself, thinking as he got ready to shower. She looked as he adjusted the water and then found herself hooked into the waist band of his boxers, sliding down to undress and get clean.
"Hmmm hot water, yeah perfect" his voice thought. She wondered if he could hear her too and she tried to not think as much as possible. For a moment her vision was obscured by the soap he grabbed, and as the lather grew and swelled she realized he was rubbing his body. With a silent prayer she begged any divine power that would listen "please let him be right handed".
And while Salvor is in fact right handed, it was his left hand he used that day to wash a particular part of himself. And he kept washing, and kept washing. Ewwww he wasn't washing he was wanking. There was a slight shudder in her that she was sure he felt as it turned into a full thumb twitch. She closed her eyes and listened trying to figure out what he was getting off to. He moaned cloudy's name and she heard what she thought were spanking sounds. Then she heard him whisper sophia...at least he has decent taste in women. The water poured hard again over the lower region and she assumed he was done. The water went off and he went about getting dressed and leaving for work without incidence.
Things would have been looking up but the bastard was one of those car drummers, who bangs on the steering wheel as he drives. Every other bass line beat had vella being slammed onto the steering wheel. The Troggs "Wild Thing" came on and she felt woozy, almost losing conciousness. The incessant pounding was excruciating. Not to mention the toad couldn't carry a tune in a bucket so the drive was a exercise in enduring torment. But she did know to brace herself when he sat at the keyboard, but his typing is better than his drumming and being brushed against the space key was not so bad.
That was when the big idea came to her. Maybe she could try and get him to mistype just right and get someone to help her. Problem was his typing is so bad to begin with. But still she had to try.
As Salvor navigated to the Isolated Blurt thread she tried pushing and shoving hard, getting herself and the nearby forefinger to be just slightly off. Maybe Abs would catch it. She's quick on the up take. What was she thinking, Abs would never see it. Or if she did, she'd call Sal a moronic crack monkey banging his keyboard with a dancing nana. Matriarch! Mats would come rescue her.... somehow, maybe, by cutting off Sal's thumb. No that was wrong, this isn't his fault. This is some cruel bizarre twist of the universe. No need to injure him just because she was his thumb. There must be something, anything that could free her and make her human again.
In her plotting and scheming she had not noticed the passage of time. He was navigating around the private messages when she realized what he was doing. He had somehow convinced some of the women to send him explicit pictures! What a pervert!
BeachGurl2 in handcuffs, Honey123 in just a garter belt, Lizzy as a naughty nurse, Aurora in sheer silk strips, blown tight to her by the wind..... Dang they were great pictures. This guy had to be the smoothest talking weirdo on the planet! As he printed them off he pressed her against Honey's hip, carrying the pictures to the washroom.
Oh no, not again. Geez horn dog give it a break!
15 harrowing minutes later he was back at his desk and vella was all the more determined to get out of this thumb. Any more of "fun time with Wanky" and she'd be hurling. Hurling... maybe that's it. During the drive, she felt like blacking out when he was drumming. Maybe a severe enough blow would make her pass out and she could slip from this horrible predictament and back to herself. But how? Something painful, Sharp pain but nothing permanent or damaging. As Salvor started actually working instead of screwing around on Lit, the idea came to her. His hands gripped the heavy server and she knew if she could get him to lose his grip, let the server fall on her, crush her, that should free her.
She felt the strain then let herself go limp. There was a moment of nothingness than the weight of the steel fell upon her, snuffing the thumb and making her slip into the blackness.
"Vella, sweety, are you ok?" Lucky's voice was soft at her ear.
She felt a cool hand on her forehead and knew she was back where she belonged. The sheets were clinging to her, her body drenched in sweat. "What's happened? What'd I do?"
"You've had a fever, a bad one. But you're pulling through now." Lucky dabbed at her forehead with a damp cloth and soothed her. "A lot of people at Lit were worried about you. Seems today is just an all around bad day. You were sick, DanielleKitten had some flu thing, Salvor crushed his thumb while lifting a server. Just a bad luck all around I guess."
Vella perked to hear about Sal and his thumb. Could it have been real? Was she really his thumb? No, no, just the fevered dream and life having a coincidence.
Lucky got up to fix her more soup "Worse part was that Eric, Zeb, Ride Me Cowgirl, and Bashfull were all hit by a truck in a freak accident."
Vella laid back closed her eyes and tried to forget. Forget as much as she could, and hope that Sal's thumb survived somehow.