Death's Kiss

Depression can be a thing of beauty. A deep enough one allows you to finally see all the fucked up things about yourself that you couldn't possibly change with two lifetimes. I came to this realization two days ago, of my third year of depression. You would think that someone like me would have absolutely nothing to be depressed about, yet here I am once again slicing the scarred skin of my arm. As I watched the blood slowly swell to the surface, teasing my pain before freeing itself of its fleshy confines and trickling down onto my snow white sheets, I felt an eerie sensation of being watched made the short hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. But then again..who in the hell would even waste their time watching me?

"So what magic pill has the doctor prescribed for you this time?" My best friend, Dorah, asked. She's known me forever and still wants to hang around,go figure.
"Dorah I truly wish there was a magic pill for me. Personally, I think it is my lot in life to be this way."
"Myleaha must you be so dark so early this fine morning?" I can hear the exasperation taint her normally sweet voice.
"What exactly is so fine about this morning?" I ask, squinting my honey brown colored eyes making the dark circles of insomnia more evident.
"Well for starters, you're alive. Doesn't that count for anything?" She asked, braiding her auburn hair.
"Ever the optimistic." I sighed, brushing my ebony hair so that it formed my beloved curtain of death around my face.
"Whatever. You about ready to go?"
"Yeah, let's get this charade on the road."

The beauty of having an internet gig is that you earn money without ever truly dealing with the hassle of the public or the politics of the office. Plus working at home lets me enjoy the solitary comfort of home. Usually I work at home,but this one day in particular Dorah convinced me to venture out with her to this little cafe she occasionally frequents. It's a nice little hole in the wall, away from the hustle and bustle of the rat race. Basically my kind of place, I can blend in and fade into the background without anyone noticing me due to the jazz music and poetry. This one aspiring Shakespare actually said something that intelligent and kinda touched something in my dying soul.
"Dorah who was the last poet?" I asked between sips of some very potent coffee.
"Um, I don't know too much about him. I've only seen him once or twice. I think his name is Jayson,um,no, Jacob, no, Jerimyah, I'm not sure. He's over at that booth, why not go ask him."
"I guess." I mumbled, sipping my coffee, peeking over the rim at the pale poet who obviously seen worse than my pathetic eyes. I think I better go talk to him before the doubts begin to reverberate through my skull or Dorah decides to play matchmaker.
"Do you have a name?" Subtly was never my strong point. I mean, when you think life is a waste, who truly has time for subtly, get to the point, move on, and hurry this existence the hell up, that's my motto.
"Of course I have a name. The question being whether or not you want to know it." His voice seemed to float from his barely parted lips, yet every word was crystal clear.
"I wouldn't ask if I didn't."
"My name is Marcellis Jacob, and you?"
"Myleaha. Mind if I sit down?"
"Not at all, but I must warn you, I'm pretty much a loner and usually shy away from conversation, however I sense you need something from me."
"The only thing I need is death and unless you have that, you have nothing I need. I just wanted to tell you that you're poetry had a somewhat profound effect on me. Pretty much summed up my petty existence."
"Let me guess, the lines 'You welcome death like an old friend whose face you long to see. Like a lover whose kiss promises the ultimate ecstacy. Come death be not afraid, take me away from this prison life has made.'"
I didn't even realize that my eyes had closed so tightly as I listened to his words wash over me, causing gooseflesh to appear, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand at perfect attention.
"Myleaha, I am performing at a private reading and I would like for you to attend." Marcellis said,sliding a gold embossed invitation across the table. "Please say you will."
"Will you read this piece again?"
"For you, this I vow."
"Then I will be there. Can my friend come too?"
"No, just you, she doesn't feel the words like you do." He took my hand turning it around so that he could see my battered wrist, gently pressing his satin smooth lips to the scars. "Just you my love, no one else."
I blinked my eyes and he was gone. I didn't realize I had clutched the invite so tight that the crisp corner pricked my palm, drawing bright droplets of my pain, leaving me in a state of orgasmic bliss.
"Myleaha! Myleaha!"
"W-what Dorah?"
"You're hand is bleeding. You promised you wouldn't do that in public anymore. Oh honey, what did he say to you to set you off?" She wailed, dabbing my hand with a fresh napkin,her conspicious tears wetting my arm.
"Dorah I'm okay." and for once, I actually believe that I am.

I checked the invitation and saw that it was for midnight tonight, which left me plenty of time to pop a Prozac, sleep and get dressed. I figure my best bet would be to lay my clothes out now because that pill is gonna leave me a bit loopy afterwards. I have this killer dark blood red sleeveless turtleneck with a matching black skirt that stops an inch or two above the knee, matching knee-length stilleto boots. I decided to leave my hair to its norm style, but I did find this red heart barette to wear in it. Well let me pop this pill and I'm off to la la land.

I woke up about nine o'clock feeling utterly like shit. The pill did nothing to alleviate the usually depressing gloom that greets me every time I awaken. Hence the handy dandy razor by the bed. A slash or two and I am blazing. I mean really, who needs drugs when I have my razor.

I stood in front of the address on the invitation wondering whose darkly magnificent house this was. I couldn't see any electric lights, just the muted light of candles illuminated the windows. I grasped the iron gargoyle door knocker, taking a deep breath, I knocked. Almost immediately Marcellis appeared.
"Myleaha I am so pleased you decided to come."
"Well you promised to speak to my dying heart, so here I am."
Marcellis gave me this weird smile. It was sad,yet had a hint of tender happiness, as if the beauty of death and its counterpart of life joined together to form his smile.
He led me to this candlelit room, the floors were sheathed in midnight black fur that my feet sank down into is softness. Without saying a word, Marcellis bent down and unzipped my boots, sliding his icy hands slowly up my skirt, peeling my stockings off with the graceful agility of a cat burgular. It was as if an unspoken understanding had passed between us. I simply melted to the floor, luxuriating in the exquisiteness of the fur,curling my naked legs underneath me, my eyes belonging to my pale poetic savior.
"Do you really long for death's kiss Myleaha?" Marcellis asked, sitting next to me, offering a crystal flute of red wine.
"Do I look like I am enjoying this so-called gift of life? I mean, look at me Marcellis, I am twenty-five years old, bouncing from one dead end job to another, I have no one significant in my life, no family, no children. I mean really, isn't that pathetic, doesn't that warrant asking for an early death? If I could cry, I would have let the salty tears season my wine. But tears no longer flow from these jaded eyes, they offer no release from this depression that has me firmly in its grip. Tell me, what life am I suppose to be enjoying?"
"My poor darling. Myleaha, answer me this, do the drops of your pain still splatter and stain your precious snow white sheets?"
"H-how do you know about that?" No one knows about that simple pleasure I enjoy, not even Dorah.
"I know alot about you Myleaha. Do you remember saying that I have nothing you need? Well, my love, I have exactly what you need. But first, you must give me what I desperately need."
A low rumble, like that of the mighty lion filled his chest as he pushed my body to the floor, his skillful hands making short work of my clothes. With trembling hands I vainly try to cover my body, the dark tips of my breasts tightening in fear and anticipation, the evidence of my arousal seeped slowly between my lips, down between the cleft of my buttocks. I don't know what excited me more, the thought that death was near or the fact that Marcellis took away the indecision that prevented me from taking my own life.
"No my love, you will not hide from me." Marcellis growled seductively as he snatched my hands away, exposing my body. He pinned my arms above my head, crossing my wrists, holding them tightly with one hand, the other roaming over the naked territory that is I.
"So beautiful are you my love, beauty that will only be enhanced by death's exquisite kiss." he whispered, slowly kissing his way down my body, paying extra attention to my taut nipples until his mouth rest against my nether lips.
"Welcome death my love, open yourself to me." Marcellis ordered, releasing my hands, guiding them down to my womanhood. My fingers slipped against the slick buring flesh as I did as I was told. He gently blew his cold breath against the heated center of my pleasure, causing my back to arch and my hips to thrust forward, pressing my pleasure damp flesh against his greedy mouth. I never thought that such a sound could be wrenched from my soul as I reached the pinnacle of orgasmic pleasure. Naked, panting and sweaty,I parted my legs, bending at the knee silently begging Marcellis to take me, a plea he did not hesitate to fulfill. Slowly he slide his swollen member inside of me, inch by inch, teasing me to utter madness. Just as I opened my mouth to protest, his lips silenced my protests allowing me to taste myself on his sweet lips.
"My love, I need you desperately. I cannot wait any longer." His voice was filled with urgency. I raised my hips, grabbing my ankles, opening myself even wider to him, giving him leave to have his way with me. Marcellis plowed deeply inside of my velvet tunnel, the satin head of his sword stabbed at my cervix, eliciting soul searing screams of pleasure.
"Do you still long for death, my love?" he whispered in my ear, "I can give you the gift of death. Death that you will be able to relive over and over again for an eternity."
That was the last thing I heard before he sank his fangs into my breast. I could feel the familiar sticky warmth of my blood flowing from my breast into his mouth as he drank from the depths of my soul.
"Myleaha death can be your gift until the end of time. To keep as your treasure or to bestow to those deserving." he whispered against my breast. Oddly as he said this, I could feel my heart beat slowing as his strokes increased.
"Do you want this gift that I wish to give to you? Do you want to experience death only once or do you yearn to drown in its icy depths over and over again, relishing in its beauty? Tell me Myleaha, die once or die for an eternity?" His movements ceased, my heart slowed to a pitiful resemblace of its former strength, his organ pulsating painfully in its denial of release.
"Eternity Marcellis." I uttered the word before I even realized that I had indeed uttered them. Did I really want to die over and over again or would once be enough? I spent the majority of my life longing for the death that had managed to elude me, isn't owed to me to be able to experience it as many times, if not more, that it was denied to me.
Marcellis heard my decision, ripping open his wrist, letting his blood spray into my awaiting mouth as his seed sprayed inside my awaiting womb.

That was almost a century ago. Sometimes I wonder if Dorah knew what she was getting me involved in as if it was her way of finally giving me the strength to get to the point, move on and finally hurry this existence the hell up. Who knows and in the long run, who really cares. What matters to me is that death is truly beautiful if you're lucky enough to awaken from its sleeping grasp. I should know....

~Fin~

*Feedback is greatly appreciated...It's been some time since my last submission and I maybe a lil rusty...this was written in the dead of night when anyone in their righ state of mind should be sleeping...let me know if this was any good or just the ramblings of a sleep deprived individual *SMILES*