Denial Ch. 06

The next morning, Maxine awoke me with breakfast in bed. Juice, coffee, and toast. I was still dressed as a woman, and she said that when I finish breakfast, I should get out of the clothing. She sat next to me with her head on my shoulder. "I hope you're not too angry with me for last night."

But I was. I was furious. She had terrorized me so completely, I don't remember ever being so scared. While I feared telling her, I had to.

"You scared me very much last night, Maxine. And I don't know what to do about it. If I complain about anything, I just get punished more. And then you ask me if you hope I'm not too angry. Of course I'm angry, but I'm also scared of you." I looked away, and I felt her staring at me as I ate.

She finally spoke in a very soothing voice. "Dr. Gruen explained that you probably would be very resentful. But she said that while it works for you to turn your anger INWARD, it doesn't work for me to, and that the balance we need is for me to be more expressive with my anger and feel that I have some control over what happens to me. If you want to have a good sex life, I have to feel unthreatened. Look, honey, I'm still learning about it myself. But we agreed to put ourselves in Dr. Gruen's capable hands, right?"

"But even when we were doing s&m, I'd never been as abused as much as this week. I feel like a wet dish rag."

"Sweetheart, we're seeing Dr. Gruen tomorrow night again. Why don't we discuss this all with her. And I start work this Sunday, so I'll feel better about myself."

She took a piece of my toast, and fed it to me, then reached over and used a napkin to smooth out some of the makeup I still had on my face. She then looked at me and let out a short laugh. "You look so ridiculous all tarted up like that." I felt about three inches tall.

There was mercifully no sensitivity exercise that night, and we just watched a video tape on tv, lay down, and went to sleep. "I love you very much," Maxine said just before we fell asleep, but then she did something strange. As she was settling in, she wrapped her long, thin fingers around my cock cage, and cradled it in her hand. This strange hand immediatly brought my cock to erection, and hurt me. But she didn't let go, and we fell asleep like that.

The next night, we both arrived at Dr. Gruen's office at 7:00 p.m. for our session. We went in, and instead of chatting for a while, Dr. Gruen told us that she wanted to give us a full hour, and couldn't go longer because her group session was starting at 8:00 sharp. "It consists mostly of couples like you," Dr. Gruen said. "I'd like you to stay and sit in for tonight. Perhaps you'd like to join."

We sat right down, and both Dr. Gruen and Maxine lit up cigarettes.

"So, Franklyn.," Dr. Gruen said through a cloud of her cigarette smoke. "We are tonight mostly concerned with your reactions to the exercises. Let's start with the first one. Why do you think I had you beg Maxine to sleep in your room again?" Dr. Gruen stared at me waiting for an answer.

I just looked at her, and then to Maxine, who was puzzled that I wasn't answering.

After a moment. "The answer is obvious, Franklyn. Because she had to feel you really wanted to. As I mentioned, we have to make Maxine feel secure if you want a good sexual relationship, right? And how better will she know how much you care for her than if you beg to do something as disgusting as suck on her dirty big toe while you do so. It was just a symbolic way of showing your love and devotion. From what Maxine told me, you performed very well."

Performed. Like a trained dog! She took a drag on the cigarette, and let it swirl out her mouth and nostrils. "The Question exercise had a different purpose." She turned to Maxine. "Why don't you play the tape?" Maxine brought the tiny tape recorder out of her pocketbook, set it on the desk, and flipped it on. Maxine was playing the tape she had made of her Question Session with me, which I didn't realize she would do. But this would at least show how she had coersed me into some of the answers.

After each important question, Dr. Gruen stopped the tape, and discussed. "Franklyn, you are a mass of contradictions. First, you say that you love and trust Maxine here, and then you say that she hurt you by making love to other men. Why are you so confused. How can you trust someone, and accuse them of that. Besides, Maxine explained that she was in a situation where she had no choice." Dr. Gruen stared at me. "In fact, you should be thankful that she had enough insight to gracefully get out of the situation without your help."

We listened some more to my being forced to reply that Maxine was a good lover, and that while I resented the cock cage, it was kept on me because I wanted to develop a more harmonious sexual relationship with Maxine. "And you even admit that it is your own fault that you can't respond when the cage comes off." Dr. Gruen shook her head.

When it came to my being forced to respond that I developed the obsession myself for the smell of her anus, Dr. Gruen stopped the recorder. "Franklyn," she stared at me. "Our therapy will not work if you continue to lie. How can we help the marriage if you are not honest." Dr. Gruen was so blatantly taking Maxine's side, that I couldn't win. She was ignoring the screams for mercy on the tape that meant that Maxine was torturing me to get the responses she wanted. We kept listening, and Dr. Gruen stopped the tape again. "But, I applaud you for your response about Maxine going to work in the health club Richie owns. You also exercised trust in the question about Maxine making love to another man if her best judgement called for it. That's an important point, especially considering where Maxine will be working." I looked at Maxine, whose face had no expression.

"It also shows progress that you will from now on graciously accept her gifts. Frankly, I found it incredible to believe that any real man would object to his wife learning how to perform oral sex like a professional, and then sharing this pleasure with her husband. I'm surprised at you." I couldn't believe it. Maxine was looking at me with a hurt expression.

Maxine then popped in the tape from the next night. After listening to it, she said. "A lot of questions about your wife with other men also popped up the next night when you asked the questions. So much suspicion, Franklyn." Dr. Gruen laughed lightly, and so did Maxine. "Franklyn, this is really your only chance to save your marriage, if you love Maxine."

"I do, but she was very cruel to me this week." I pleaded.

"Any crueler than you were in spurning her sexually when she unlocked your cage?"

I had no argument.

"But Dr. Gruen, Maxine was using nipple clamps to torture a lot of those answers out of me."

"The nipple clamps were part of the exercise, Franklyn. Maxine was told to use them any way she saw fit. And afterall, you weren't saying anything you didn't really feel deep down now, did you?"

Dr. Gruen looked at her clock, and saw that it was almost 8:00. She asked for Maxine's help in her kitchen to prepare coffee for her group. As they were leaving, Dr. Gruen said. "I'm a little disappointed in your progress. We'll discuss your empathy exercises next time.

She asked me to set up seven chairs in the middle of the living room in a circle for the group, and to answer the door if anyone rang. In the next 10 minutes, five couples showed up. Everyone of them was a respectable looking couple, covering many ethnic groups and socio-economic classes. I noticed that there were going to be 12 people plus Dr. Gruen, but only seven chairs. I looked around for other chairs, but found none. The group stood and mingled for a few minutes before Dr. Gruen returned from the kitchen with Maxine.

"Be seated everyone." Dr. Gruen said, and casually clapped. It was then that things got a little bizarre.

As if by rehearsal, two men and three womem sat down in the chairs, and their mates, the other two women and three men, sat right at their feet, on the floor. When Dr. Gruen saw me looking, she motioned for Maxine to sit, and for me to sit at her feet. "Not enough chairs, Franklyn, you don't mind?" It was not a question. I looked around, and the looks I received were of two kinds. The people in the chairs looked slightly amused, and the people on the floor looked at me longingly, with sympathy.

"As you see, group, we have a new couple in tonight. Maxine Vale and her husband Franklyn. Why don't we go around the room, introduce yourselves and give a capsule of your relationship."

The couple to her left were in their 40's, very trim, well- dressed and wealthy looking. The woman in the chair had a wonderful tan and richly colored platinum hair. Her jewelry, makeup and skin revealed expensive care and pampering. She was stroking her husband's hair as she spoke in a very high- toned English accent. "My name is Meredith Montclair, and this is my husband Martin. We live in a large estate north of here. I have never worked at a job, and have always had servents do our work for us. I never considered myself independent, so it took a lot of courage to face the fact that it was up to me to keep our marriage from crumbling.

"We first came to Dr. Gruen at the suggestion of a friend because my husband had had affairs, I was angry about them, and insisted on finding a way to save our marriage. First we had to do something to stop Martin from cheating on me, so the doctor first recommended what's called a cock cage. Martin agreed to wear it to keep him from cheating.

I turned to look up at Maxine, who looked as surprised as I was.

Meredith continued. "It was impossible for him to cheat in this device, but it wasn't good enough, because a few weeks later, he just cut the leather strap, threw it away, and began cheating again. When I discovered this, and confronted him, he said that he couldn't help it. It was an impulse."

"That's when Dr. Gruen recommended Dr. Rekvyk, and a certain operation she performs to assure that males remain faithful." Meredith touched Martin lightly on the shoulder. "Take your pants down and show them, Martin."

Martin undid his pants and let them fall. When he revealed his genitals, I was shocked. One of his balls had been surgically removed, and the scrotum sac was sewn up to get rid of the loose skin. Meredith spoke: "Now there is a follow-up operation, in which the other testical is removed, but Martin promises me that it won't be necessary for him to have it. Dr. Gruen has allowed us to put it all in perspective, without ruining our marriage." Martin reached up and took Meredith's hand, and they squeezed each other. "He doesn't cheat anymore."

With the next couple, Vinny was sitting in the chair, and Vicki was on the floor, nodding off with her head in his lap. He was in his early 20s, with Vicki possibly being as young as 19. They were an average looking blue collar couple, dressed in jeans and t-shirts.

Everyone greeted them, and Meredith spoke to them briefly. "Vinny, do you still get resistance from Vicki to coming to these meetings?" Meridith asked.

"Tonight I did. She begged not to go. She says that she looks ugly now and is humiliated. I gave her a strong sedititive, and brought her."

"Good Vinny. And you too, Vicki. You mustn't miss any sessions." Dr. Gruen advised her. Vicki kept her head in Vinny's lap and nodded.

With her straight dark hair cascading down Vinny's leg, she remained was silent, and just sat on the floor with her head in Vinny's lap. He just sat cross armed, and spoke. "When I met Vicki last year, she had just graduated high school, but as she came from a broken home, she kept jumping around from guy to guy. A real pin cushion, until I figured out about what she needed. She needed someone to take firm control over her life. We've since gotten married three months ago, and for her wedding gift well, why don't you show the group again, what I got you."

Vicki then looked up for the first time, and I saw her tortured eyes. She looked spaced out, but it was probably only the sedative. My wondering over her "gift" stopped when Vinny reached down and with one hand grabbed Vickie's nose, and with the other, yanked Vicki's mouth open to show a toothless gaping hole. "Ironically, the dentist recommended by Dr. Gruen who pulled out all of Vicki's teeth to replace them with the false ones said that her teeth were among the strongest and most beautiful she'd ever seen. She probably would have had them till she was seventy."

"What has been the result, Vinny?"

"Vicki can now give me oral sex with no annoying scratching to my cock, and I make her hold my balls in her mouth for long periods of time."

I looked across at Vicki, who stared at me, dazed.

"But most of all, being toothless is being powerless. I can get her all dressed up and beautiful, and then just remove the dentures, and she looks ridiculous. She now has the firm control she needs, knows that I hold supreme power over her. She has no say so in anything, from what she eats to what she wears, to when she goes to the bathroom. She is much more fulfilled than before."

"Do you agree, Vicki?" said Dr. Gruen. Vicki slowly looked up at the Doctor and smiled slightly, a little cross-eyed, and groggy. She just nodded her head shakily.

The next couple was in their mid 20s. There was a great disparity in looks, with the woman, Shoshana, an Israeli, being strong looking with dark features: dark eyes and brows, dark hair, and a dark, evil expression accented by a classic Jewish nose. She was a strong woman, not pretty, but one who evidently was a fine physical specimen. She had the arrogant look of power, the total opposite of Maxine. She sat in the chair, with Steven, her husband, literally down at her feet. He was pasty faced, lumpy bodied, with scarred, pocked skin, a broken nose, jutting lopsided jaw and was generally weak- looking, with short balding hair, and bland styling all around.

In a husky, relaxed voice, using perfect, but heavily accented English, Shoshana folded her olive legs and began her tale. "I am Shoshana, and this is my Steven. We have been here the longest of anyone in the group, three years. Our problem started when we were engaged, and a 'friend' seduced my Steven behind my back. I became very jealous, and wanted to get even with him for this weakness. This was before I met Dr. Gruen, so to get even, and make him a little less attractive to other women, I hired three men to beat him up and break his nose. This ended his career as a male photographers model, but not his appeal to other women."

A model? I glanced up at Maxine, who looked surprised as well.

"Anyway, it happened again, with a different friend, and this time, I came into therapy with Dr. Gruen and Steven. I explained that I love Steven very much, but that before we got married, I would have to be sure that he wouldn't fall prey to other women. That is when Dr. Gruen recommended Regina -- Dr. Rekvyk -- who has been undertaking the transformation ever since."

I just gaped at this lump of a male sitting at this Amazon's feet. He had been turned from a model toa freak by a medical doctor.

Dr. Gruen spoke, "Steven, why don't you tell us how your transformation is coming."

Steven began speaking with a monotone voice. "At my beloved wife Shoshana's suggestion, Dr. Rekvyk has scarred my face with various acids and scalpels so that it will never heal to the smoothness that it once had. My jaw has been surgically broken in three places and purposely reset improperly. Through various chemicals, I have lost my hair, probably permanently. I am not allowed to get any sun or exercise, and my diet consists of litle vitamins or nutritional value. This is to avoid my growing muscles."

Dr. Gruen blew out a puff of smoke. "And what has Shoshana's treatment shown you?"

"That she loves me and does not ever want to lose me to anyone else."

Shoshana interrupted. "I know that he will never be the same physically, and I am not even done yet. By the time I get through with him -- Dr. Rekvyk is planning some nerve and muscle damage -- no other woman will ever take him away from me, because no other woman would ever want him."

Dr. Gruen, "Thank you Shoshana for sharing your story."

The fourth couple was composed of a young man seated in the chair and an older woman at his feet. They were bikers, man big and powerful, with a mane of blond hair and a muscular build. He was Trump, and looked to be about 25. She was Tart, as tiny as he was big, with a full head of curly red hair, a perfect tiny body, but probably around 37 or so. They were in jeans and leathers, and were the most outwardly s&m in the group, with Tart sporting various tattoos on her breast and back, and one special one on her wrist, like a bracelet, which formed the word "Slave."

Dr. Gruen nodded to Trump. "Ah, the caveman of the group. Trump, why don't you recount to the group how Tart became your slave. I use that word because that is literally what Tart is. You bought her, didn't you?"

Trump pulled Tart's hair down, and held it beneath his feet. "I actually won her, Dr. She was the wife of a medical doctor who got interested in bikes, and began riding with us, and getting us dope and all. He was really a wimp, and once or twice, Tart would give a cookout in their big backyard for all of us bikers, but she would just sit back and almost sneer at her husband's low-life friends. Mostly she stuck with her country club set, playing tennis and golf."

"One day, we wanted to see what Doc had in his pants, and asked him if he wanted to race. The usual challenge called for racing for ownership of bikes. In this case, since he had a great amount of money, and we agreed that it wasn't a fair wager, we raced for our women. If he won, he'd get my bitch, if I won, I'd own his wife. He must have thought it was a joke or that I wasn't serious because after he lost, and we wanted to collect, he refused to turn over his bitch to us. "But she's my wife, and a mother." We just laughed.

"We then strung him up to a big tree, and told him we'd cruxify him and leave him there if he didn't place a call for his wife to come down to the tracks right away, and to bring their little girl. He refused, so we pounded a spike right through his left hand, cut the ropes and let him just hang there. When he saw that we would just slowly kill him, and then take his wife and daughter anyway, he gave in. We said that we wanted him to bring them to us.

The first thing his wife says is 'What do you mean, Trump owns me now? Nobody owns me.' At this point, Doc showed her his wound. 'Well, she said, we'll go to the police.' But Doc knew that he'd wind up in jail, so he told her they were going to the police station, and instead drove her to us. When she and the little girl got there, we made him lay out the story.

"She was now my personal property, so I renamed her Tart. I owned her. The doctor husband could go home. Their little girl would be taken care of somewhere else until we were sure that no one would call the cops. We assured them that she would be very safe, and all, but that until we were done with Tart, we couldn't afford him telling the cops. In addition, if he did kick up a fuss, we would tell the cops about the dope he was giving us, and ruin his career. The doctor cried as he left, and we had a good laugh as we passed Tart around for a few weeks until she finally landed back with me.

"I decided that I needed a real slave. So I started making Tart into my slave. There's nothing she won't do for me."

Dr. Gruen smiled.

"Anything to say about that Tart?" Dr. Gruen leaned forward. Tart just shook her head, and looked down again. For some reason, some of the tops in the group chuckled.

Dr. Gruen turned to me and Maxine. "Tart would constantly complain to Trump about the treatment he gave her. Now she doesn't have much to say, and that is how Trump, her master, likes it. Trump had her vocal chords cut last year by Dr. Rekvyk and Tart will never speak a word again."