Dick Dynasty: An X Rated Soapie

Ok, it's something one doesn't admit to doing. You, me, us watch the Soaps? NEVER!

But it's strange how millions of people around the world are addicted to the Soap Operas. Interesting how you kinda know what's happening in the nightmare, complex world of these serialized dramas because you have a friend or relative who is one of these millions of addicted people. The beauty of a Soap is that even if you do admit to occasionally watching, or if you only get an update every six months, you will always be able to pick up the story line and the convoluted plot. The only time it may prove difficult is when a new face appears as a central character, without so much as a blink from the other characters. Perhaps that's because Soaps are filled with so many 'two-faced' scheming, underhanded, calculating and devious people.

Anyway, in case you have missed it, here for your enjoyment is an update and the 7,320th episode of the doings and the screwings of the 'Dick' Dynasty.

MOUNT GRACE MEMORIAL HOSPITAL:

The sun rose on the ultra modern building housing the Mount Grace Memorial Hospital and the tall, dark and impossibly handsome Head of Surgery, Dr. Rod Dick was already facing crisis after crisis in the Trauma Unit. He stroked his chiseled square jaw and narrowed his eyes just to prove that he was thinking hard. Real hard.

In the first cubicle lay a gun-shot victim, bleeding profusely from leg and shoulder wounds.

In the adjoining cubicle, a sexy redhead was having small spasms that jiggled her perfect size 38C silicone breasts. The small spasms alternated with massive spasms that had her whole body jerking and groaning in a combination of what sounded like pain and pleasure.

Being a bit of a voyeur, Dr. Dick found that watching her was actually quite a turn on, until he remembered that the jerking spasms were a result of tiny clusters of little brain tumors that were temporarily out of sync. Dr. Dick, always in the front line of medical advancement, had mastered a leading edge technique that kept the brain tumors at an acceptable level which meant she only had the occasional tit jiggling spasms. But now this new development and relapse, with the uncontrollable thrashing was worrying. Deeply worrying.

A tiny twitch started up in the muscle of his left cheek, as the agonized burden of making the first decision of the day built and he contemplated who needed his brilliance and self taught skills first.

"Uh- Dr. Dick, could you help me pleeeease!"

An anguished cry came from the third cubicle. Fuck it! The pressure was piling on. He was a man who could take a heavy load, but he knew this was going to be a day from hell. Didn't these fucking morons know that he hadn't had his first cup of coffee yet? He ripped open the curtains in cubicle three because the wailing voice had reached ear-shattering proportions. Fate had deliberately directed him to attend to this cubicle first and with just one look he was glad it had. Very glad.

Blonde Nurse Candi was bent over the bed, desperately engaged in cardiac pulmonary resuscitation. The patient, a ragged looking elderly man lay deathly still. The smile on his face was almost as big as the hard-on he was sporting beneath the white sheet.

"What's going on here Nurse?" Dr. Dick snapped, noticing immediately that she was wearing non-regulation white cum-fuck-me-boots and a non-standard red lacy thong with her uniform. Dammit, he wondered wistfully, would his eye for detail and his past as a world famous fashion designer always come back to haunt him?

"I think it's his heart… It's stopped." Nurse Candi said breathlessly with a terrified wide eyed stare.

"Let me take a look," he said, easing up and pressing himself against the nurse's ass.

His eye slipped down her uniform to her heaving cleavage. Mmm white regulation bra, no extra lace he thought, as he reluctantly dragged his eyes upward to the patient and fumbled for his pulse.

"Bad news, I'm afraid, "he said soberly. The twitch in the cheek had started up again. It was always tragic to lose a patient, but they had done everything possible to help him. It was the sad reality of life in a busy hospital. You won a few and you lost a few. As long as he won more than he lost, he might win the battle for the vacant position of Chief of Staff. It was absolutely fucking imperative that he was the Head Honcho, the Top Dog, and Alpha Male at Mount Grace Memorial Hospital. He pulled back from Nurse Candi's delectable buns and made sure that the cubicle's curtains were firmly closed.

"Now Nurse," he said in his most authoritative tone, "I see you are not wearing the regulation uniform. Do you know what that means?"

"Yes, Dr. Dick," she muttered tremulously. Her blue eyes glistened with tears, but her mascara remained perfect and smudge-free.

"Please don't tell Matron Chunkleg," she begged, her glossed lips trembling. "I am already on my final written warning, and can't afford to lose my job." She sobbed quietly and fixed her baby blues on him as a single tear rolled down her pale cheek. "You see… there is nobody else to support my poor mother and her five poor children."

Dr. Dick's heart softened. He was not by nature a hard man, except in situations like this when his cock swelled dangerously. He noted with satisfaction that despite it being cramped in his non-regulation, designer trousers, it was already bigger than that of the cadaver. Here was a fresh-faced sweet, hard working girl that he could take complete advantage of, plus he could help her keep her job as well. There was something very gratifying, he thought, about working in a profession where he dedicated his life to helping people. His change of profession from Head Fashion Designer to Head of Surgery certainly had its own thrills and rewards.

**********

AT THE AIRPORT:

Crystal Dick stepped off the private Dick Lear Jet.

She looked fabulous for a woman who had traveled clear around the world on a hectic schedule fitting in meetings with influential people, attending fashion shows and conferences between fucking the cute hotel concierge and having an all-night orgy with two of the sexiest new bi stud models. Not a wrinkle showed on her stylish hot pink designer suit, and every glossy hair on her head was perfectly in place. Nor was there any evidence of jet lag. Perhaps it was from all the protein she had ingested on her trip. Sperm, she knew, was loaded with the stuff and so on her business travels, she made sure to always swallow instead of spit. Crystal was all set to go directly to the plush offices of "DICK DESIGNS" in the Soapie Land of the rich and the useless. There, she would report back on the grueling trip to her tycoon father- in law, Rick Dick. He was Dr. Rod Dick's father, and the real brains and power behind the empire.

After the meeting with Rick Dick, she could get around to the really important work of the day. That was looking indispensably busy while doing absolutely nothing in a plush office, complete with bar and leather sofa for quick on-the-job fucks.

Her schedule for the day was crammed;

First, she had to make a couple of high-powered telephone calls to find someone to go to lunch with at the swankiest restaurant in town, where everyone who was anyone hung out. This was typically the 'in' place to be where Crystal and her friends sipped white wine or mineral water and stared at the sumptuous display of food, usually salad on the plate but didn't eat a fucking morsel. Inevitably, everyone they detested, or stalked, or hankered after, or never wanted to see again as long as they lived, was also dining on untouched meals at these trendy places at the very same time as they were.

The second most pressing thing on Crystal's schedule, was to eavesdrop on the secretaries' evil libelous gossip about Rick's second wife, Bonnie (now his ex) and his current wife Sue-Ellie (sometimes pronounced 'Swelly' Dick) by the receptionist with the southern drawl.

Crystal had been out of town for a week and it was critical that she keep abreast of who was fucking who in the family, in the fashion industry and in which positions. She also had to have detailed accounts of what they were wearing at the time. This was essential to a fashion queen like herself.

**********

MEMORIES AND FLASHBACKS OF OLD EPISODES:

Her mind drifted to the bitch wives of Rick Dick. Crystal hated them with a passion. They were haughty bottle-blonde sluts who had better boob jobs than she did, and she'd had blazing fights and ongoing feuds with them. It was difficult to get along when she knew both bitches had bedded their stepson, who just happened to be her husband Dr. Rod Dick. And she had a sneaky suspicion that 'Swelly' may have tried to seduce Randy, Rod's youngest brother.

Ha! Ha! Fat lot of good that would do, Crystal thought wryly. Randy was married but was a closet gay. She had discovered this tasty bit of dirt at the last big family wedding when some long-lost pregnant relation hit town and had to be married off quickly to avoid a scandal involving the famous Dick name. A large sum of money had been paid to acquire a 'suitable' husband, but just minutes before the couple was to exchange vows, Crystal saw something that rocked her to her very core.

It also turned her on wildly...

Randy, her young brother in law (and second- in- line- heir to the Dick Billions) was bent over in the groom's room taking an ass full of thick meaty, soon –to-be- happily-married cock, from the groom. Oh God the scandal that would have caused!

Randy swore her to secrecy, but his dark secret had taken its toll. He had since had a couple of emotional and nervous breakdowns and had spent time in outrageously expensive and glamorous, but useless institutions. Here he had met and been fucked by other confused and depressed men. (Randy had a fancy office at DICK DESIGNS but what he actually did there was unclear. Whatever it was, it paid handsomely judging from his extravagant lifestyle). Recently though, he had added another worrying vice to his already growing portfolio. He had taken to drinking heavily, especially at family gatherings where long lost relation and ass-fucking husband attended, complete with their two children.

Crystal had promised never to breathe a word of what she had witnessed that horrible, horrible day, but time would tell. It was always handy to have sordid blackmail material on hand.

Still deep in thought, Crystal pulled her Mercedes convertible into the only, conveniently available, parking space on the busy street. She spent a few precious minutes enjoying the vivid, real-life flashbacks in her mind while she touched up her flawless makeup.

It had been a stroke of genius to seduce the great Rick Dick, the night his first wife, Alice Dick (Rod's, but not Randy's, biological mother) had been admitted to hospital with a suspected stroke. There was something particularly attractive about a powerful man being reduced to remorseful tears as he dwelled on 'the good old days' and Crystal had seized the opportunity to comfort him in the best way she knew how.

Her hard life while growing up in the trailer parks of Furry Creek and Butt Valley had taught her a trick or two that she had brought along with her to her new exciting glamorous life. Yes, it had been wise to keep her talents honed and use them with her new face, her new tits and her new identity.

Since that fateful night, her father in law always had a special soft spot for her. Well, it wasn't always soft, she thought. Sometimes it was damn hard considering his age. Other times she had to work hard at making it hard but it was pretty special. Fucking a talented, creative, esteemed, famous, self-made, ruggedly handsome multi –billionaire who had been the patriarch of the legendary family for thirty years on the Night-Time Soaps was always special.

And now finally, she was also special. One of the rich and the famous. She was bold and beautiful and a Super Bitch of note. A mover and a shaker. A celebrity in the fashion world. The keeper of dark and dirty secrets and the wife of the respected Dr. Rod Dick soon-to- be Chief of Staff at Mount Grace Memorial Hospital, (and first-in-line-heir to the Dick Billions).

**********

BACK AT THE HOSPITAL:

Dr. Rod Dick looked down at the pretty nurse who was on her knees with her luscious lips wrapped around his gargantuan cock. Dr. Dick was a legend in his own mind and so was his average sized cock. It felt good, the way she sucked him in and out of her dainty mouth. And he loved the shade of her ruby red lipstick. He had to remember to get the exact name and brand details from her. It would look sensational on Crystal. He closed his eyes and furrowed his brow. There was something, something important about Crystal that he needed to recall. It kept nagging at his brain. What was it? His breathing became shallow as Nurse Candi worked her oral magic. He braced himself knowing that he was about to spurt a massive load.

"Aahh yes," he groaned. Crystal had been away for the past week, but she was due back today. That's what he was trying to remember. During her absence he had remained totally celibate. Those Monday evening Sex Addicts Anonymous rehabilitation meetings were working, he decided as he let out a gasp and pumped a thick rope of creamy cum down Nurse Candi's throat.

Nurse Candi blinked in surprise and gagged a little. She was on a special calorie controlled diet and needed to make provision for the extra intake. She pulled her mouth quickly from Dr Dick's throbbing dick and lost her balance, toppling backwards, where she hit her head hard on the leg of the bed. The sound of the awful thud was drowned out by the wailing from the redhead in the cubicle next door.

"Oh my God," Dr. Dick cried, tucking his deflating cock into his non-regulation, designer trousers. He could detect from the pitch of the redhead's wail that the tiny clusters of little brain tumors were multiplying rapidly. There was only one way to stop it.

Brain surgery!

He was on top of the job again. He felt super powerful with a clear head for business, thanks to Nurse Candi who was struggling to her feet holding her head.

"Where am I?" she groaned, "Who am I? What am I doing here?"

"Fuckit!" Dr. Dick cursed.

She was displaying the classical signs of amnesia. Now she wouldn't remember the name and color of the hot red lipstick. Shit! He would have to make time later in his busy schedule to sneak into her purse and find it. He groaned. Now he knew for certain that it was going to be a day from hell. His horoscope had accurately predicted it. He glanced back at Nurse Candi and the muscle in his cheek twitched. Thank God, the amnesia wasn't permanent. He had seen it many times before in his Soap medical career and he knew that after a suitable passage of time, and a similar hit on the head she would be cured.

In the meanwhile, time was of the essence. He couldn't waste another second. He had to wage war on the tiny clusters of rapidly multiplying brain tumors. This was life and death stuff! He rushed out into the Trauma Unit frantically screaming orders.

"Scrub up, let's go, let's go! We got an emergency on our hands."

**********

AT THE PLUSH OFFICES OF 'DICK DESIGNS':

Fashion tycoon and mogul, Rick Dick sat in his oversized leather chair and surveyed the flashily dressed person opposite the desk.

It was Heaven-Leigh, Prikk, the highly sought after model who was the hottest thing in town. Right now, she was in the process of negotiating contracts and looked at Rick Dick expectantly. Rick Dick had used every dirty trick in the book to discover what his rival and biggest competitor, RIP-OFF FASHIONS, had offered her. He was about to make his counter offer and sweeten the pie, so too speak, for Miss Prikk.

To look at her, you wouldn't guess her deep dark secret. She was a gorgeous black beauty. Tall and slim with the longest ebony legs Rick Dick had ever seen. Heaven-Leigh had made her name by modeling stockings, pantyhose and shoes with six inch-cum-fuck me heels.

Because Rick Dick was obscenely rich and powerful and had contacts, he had managed to dig up all the dirt on her. The lovely Heaven-Leigh Prikk had, in fact been born Hank Prikk. Now almost prick-less, after extensive secret surgery, Hank had magically been transformed to look quite feminine, heavenly in fact, with the most succulent breasts and juicy lips.

Rick Dick puffed on his foul smelling cigar and lay back in his chair. He knew there was one operation remaining. One critically important and outrageously expensive operation and he knew that he held all the answers to Heaven-Leigh's prayers. He had money, lots and lots of money and he had a brilliant, talented son. A son who was a surgeon, with an eye for fashion. Yes, he thought, perhaps he should make her an offer that she couldn't refuse. Heaven-Leigh would be his newest house model. The collection of fake furs would look superb on her.

**********

IN THE CORRIDOR OF POWER AT 'DICK DESIGNS':

Crystal Dick stood outside the door to Rick Dick's office, desperately trying to eavesdrop through the key hole. The secretary was conveniently missing, so she could not demand to know who was in with Rick Dick. A smattering of the conversation, words here and there drifted to her ear.

"Uhh."

"Very generous offer."

"Own office at the end of the passage."

"Perfect… oh yeah."

"…but conditional..."

"Ummmph."

"…oh yeah, ohh,"

Who the fuck was Rick talking too? How dare he give someone her office down the passage? Was the old fart trying to oust her?

"What the fucking hell is going on here?" Crystal said, to no-one in particular.

She pushed the door open to Rick Dick's office and marched inside with a bright superficial smile on her face.

"Rick, dear, I'm back..." Her eyes widened in shock.

"Oh no! NO!" She gasped. No, this could not be happening...

**********

So,

Will Dr. Rod Dick transplant silicone from the redhead's tits to her brain to keep the tiny little brain clusters from multiplying? And will she survive the surgery after lingering for weeks and weeks in the ICU?

Will Nurse Candi regain her memory? Has she gained weight from her protein rich breakfast or has she forgotten about her diet?

What will Matron Chunkleg (closet lesbian but highly ambitious political animal) do when she discovers the non-regulation cum-fuck-me- boots and red lacy thong that Nurse Candi is wearing?

And what about the lipstick? Will Dr. Rod Dick manage to sneak into Nurse Candi's purse to check it out? Did she even bring the lipstick to work? And what if she has fourteen different lipsticks in her purse?

Can Crystal recover from what she has seen? What has she seen? Will she lose her office? And most importantly, will she get a reservation for lunch?

And what about Heaven-Leigh Prikk, will she accept the modeling job? And what are the "conditions" attached to the job? Will she lose the prick thanks to Rick Dick and Dr. Rod Dick or will she keep it and take up with Randy Dick? And what the hell is she doing on her hands and knees?

For answers to these and all the other questions that you may have, stay tuned tomorrow night and for the next twenty years to:

The Doings and the Screwings of the "Dick" Dynasty.