Do You Ever?

DO YOU EVER? (A Story About Love and Lust)

"Do you ever find that you're attracted to people who aren't good?" He asked.

It was a beautiful evening and I was on the best date (ok...one of the only dates) I'd been on in years...and then he asked that. I froze.

Yeah, I'd been attracted to people who weren't "good." I'd even fallen in love with one. And I don't even like thinking about people as "good" or "bad" in the first place.

But because of loving him...this guy who didn't live up to society's definition of "good" (and probably never will)...I'd become a better version of me than I'd ever thought possible. I'd discovered demons I'd never even dreamed existed. Some of them were in him and I -- no matter how hard I tried -- could never ease the pain they caused him. But the other demons? They'd been my own. Facing them hadn't been easy. In fact, it had been hell: a dark and irresistible fantasy wrapped in a rich layer of invisible pain and sorrow.

I didn't want to leave my date, but I felt myself going back as memories pulled at me. I couldn't fight it. A tiny part of me (the part that still held a demon or two) didn't even want to try...

~~~

"What do you want from me?" He asked me again. We'd been in his bedroom...in his bed for hours. But to me, it'd felt like mere minutes.

"Nothing." I whispered, feeling the tears start to form in my eyes. Everything. I want you to love me. I want you to choose me.

I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. Dammit. He gently wiped it away. Those were the times I felt the most. When he was gentle. My heart clenched.

"You don't have to cry." He looked at me thoughtfully, then gently pushed my head down into his chest, and began firmly petting my hair.

"I can't help it." I said, sounding sullen, even to myself. He just laughed, pulled me closer, and whispered in my ear, "you're a such a good girl."

I shook my head against him, tried to rise up. He pushed my head back down and I felt his hand sliding under the sheet, lifting my shirt up. "No?" He questioned. It was a dare. I didn't want it to work...but I could feel my traitorous body tightening, my pussy getting wet. He pulled my shirt off and I felt him suck in his breath at the feel of my nipples against his chest. The light blue lace of my bra was so thin...it's almost like I wasn't even wearing one.

"I like feeling your tits against me...makes me want to play with them." He made a sound deep in his throat and brought a hand to my breasts, his fingers toying with the closest nipple he could reach.

I felt his other hand sliding further under the sheet, cupping my ass, spreading the cheeks apart...and pushing them back together again. He used his grip to grind my pussy against his cock. I gasped, feeling the wetness of my cunt soaking his shorts...

"Tell me what you want." He commanded me again, the words rough against my ear.

I was too shy. Too embarrassed. I shook my head.

He slapped me hard. My ass burned from the sting.

"Do you want to be punished?" He spanked me again, then buried his fingers in my hair and pulled my head back, forcing me to look up at him. The expression in his eyes burned. I felt my pussy soaking his shorts...again. I groaned. Another spanking. I groaned again.

"You love this." He growled into my ear, adding, "I'm starting to think you're a not such a good girl." He spanked me again, I was starting to crave it, felt myself almost come from the smacks alone. "Slut."

I came.

And he watched me.

"I'm going to eat you." He pushed me off of him, up higher on the bed, hooking his fingers into my panties and pulling them the rest of the way off. I was practically limp as he spread my legs and buried his tongue in my pussy, using his hands to tease my hips, thighs, and clit. My hip pushed against his mouth. I'd never done anything like this before. I felt delicious. I felt wicked. I felt myself coming into his mouth as he moaned and swallowed.

Rising to his knees, he pushed three fingers into my mouth. With his other hand, he pulled out his cock. "Your turn."

I started to say no. I wasn't doing that. But as I opened my lips wider to speak, he removed his fingers, inserted his cock, and fucked my mouth. And then, like a good little slut, I sucked and sucked, and when he came... I swallowed every drop.

Afterwards, he pulled himself off of me and pet my hair again, "you did a really good job." I rolled onto my side and tucked my knees into my chest, holding back tears. I wanted him to care...and he'd just told me I'd "done a good job."

Naked and spent, we slept.

I woke to the feel of him rolling on top of me, pulling my hair back from my neck, and rubbing his hard thick cock against my ass. It felt incredible. I tilted my hips up so I could rub back against him, practically purring with pleasure. So much for my dignity.

He rewarded me with a trail of delicate kisses up my neck, sending shivers down my spine. Nibbling gently on my ear, he teased, "such a little slut," as he slid his hand around and down to toy with the soft curls covering my cunt. "I like playing with you." When his fingers moved inside, all I could do was moan and try to remain conscious.

Likely sensing my complete and total submission, he spoke. "I'm going to fuck you now." I'd never been "fucked" before. Not like this. The words scared me, so much so that I almost resisted. His husky promise stopped me. "You're going to love it."

In what felt like an instant, he rolled me on my back, pushed my legs apart, and entered me in one swift plunge, I screamed as I felt his cock slamming against me over and over and over again. Pinning my wrists above my head, he claimed my mouth for a kiss so deep I felt it to my core. His mouth covered my scream and I came so hard it felt more like an avalanche than an orgasm.

After, before I'd barely even begun to recover, his eyes grew distant. A smile barely touched his lips as he got off the bed and tossed my clothes at me. Pulling on his own, he said coolly, "It's time for you to go."

~~~

The memories, pleasure, and pain left me as suddenly as they'd arrived. I realized he -- my date - was patiently waiting for me to answer his question. I smiled softly, looking up at him from beneath my lashes and taking him in. I'd met him through a mutual friend over two years ago. I'd barely noticed him then.

Now I wondered how I could have been so blind.

He was so attractive...tall, dark, handsome...and good. So good. So kind.

I didn't feel confused or afraid when I was with him.

I felt safe. Protected. Cherished. Maybe even loved...

"I used to be." I finally answered, a wealth of experience behind the words, "I used to be."