Does It Ever Get Easier?

Two months after having moved in with Master, i had to visit my doctor again. My Gynecologist was in Tennessee. i knew i had fibroid tumors that had not been totally removed in the previous procedure. i was constantly bleeding. i could not go on this way. i made the trip down in one day and back. The doctor came in to the room i was waiting and i spoke before he could, and told him i wanted a full Hysterectomy. i wanted this over and finished. The appointment was set up at the hospital for the surgery to be done in one month. After i had returned home, Biker and i discussed what care i would need after the surgery. Susan would be coming up to visit that weekend, so we would talk with her about it as well. i was happy she was coming i wanted her to see our new home. We had already begun planning for the day when she and her kids would be moving in with us. That time was not far off, maybe by summer's end, just before the new school year would start for Nikki.

It was now April, spring was showing itself in tiny buds on the trees, the yellow daffodils were in bloom and the grass was turning from brown to green. The sunshine was growing warmer each day. i was able to open the windows of the trailer and breathe fresh clean air. i loved watching as the wind would gently blow in and lift the curtains. i had clothes hanging on the line to dry in the sun each day. Nothing smelled sweeter than clothes dried in the sun.

On Friday evening Susan and the kids arrived. Our trailer was small. Only one bedroom that Biker and i shared. Susan would sleep with us on that set of double mattresses. We still had no bed frame. We would lay out sleeping bags for Jen and her boyfriend Darrel. Nikki would use the sofa. i was working out in my head just how this was going to work, all of us living in this small trailer. There was not room to move about. We chatted a while, had snacks of chips, salsa and soda's. Then everyone settled in for the night. Jim, Susan and myself headed off to bed.

The kids were watching the TV. It was up loud but that would cover any noise that might drift out to their young perceptive ears. It is hard for me to explain the mixed emotions i had. i enjoyed having Susan to talk too, but then i also hated what i knew was coming once we were in bed. Sometimes it was a little more than pleasant. The three of us would laugh and joke around, Listen to music and then the play would begin. On some of these occasions i would be the recipient of their attention. But it never lasted very long. They soon became distracted from me and began to focus on each other. After all Susan had not had any attention from Biker for a few weeks. At times Biker would instruct me to do certain things, such as toy with Susan's nipples while He loved toying with her ass. Many times Susan and i would focus on Biker. There did seem to be an air of competition between us. Each trying to please Him in certain ways. Who could do the best B. J., Or who could get the most reaction from Him. i hated feeling this way. We did enjoy each other. I should say they enjoyed each other. It's how i felt whether it was true or my own insecurities. When the play was over. i would turn over on my side, away from them and try to fall asleep. Biker did make the effort to hold she and I both for a bit. He slept in the middle.

Morning came and i was up cleaning up from the night before and making coffee for when they woke. i am an early rise anyway. i made myself a cup of coffee and went out to sit on the front steps. i loved the early morning hours as the sun came up. Watching the cows graze across the way. Watching the birds gathering twigs to build the nests for their young on the way. It was also a time for me to gather myself for the day. i wondered if all poly homes had the issues mine did. Did all slaves have this inner conflict? Were they filled with doubt and anxiety? Was their fear?

The walls of the trailer were thin so i could hear movement inside. i went back and found the kids stirring. i could see down the hall into the bedroom and Biker and she were sitting up in bed talking and kissing. i prepared their coffee and took it in to them. i sat down on the edge of the bed and began discussing my surgery. Susan would come up and stay with me the week after the surgery so Biker could go to work each day.

i had told Susan i wanted to make me a small rose garden and plant some other flowers about the yard. After we had eaten breakfast and dressed the three of us took off for the greenhouses. She said she knew just the right things for our yard. i have to admit i was a bit put out by her manner. i knew what i wanted and how to plant them but she had Biker's ear. So i just followed along. After browsing though the houses we picked out a variety of flowering plants, potting soil and fertilizer. We then returned home and began digging up the areas we intended to plant. At one point i almost lost my self-control, (which I never do), But i was feeling pushed. i was carrying a bucket of water to soak the plants and wanted so desperately to soak Susan instead. i resisted that urge only because i feared Biker's reaction. i went inside instead and gave up my desire to plant my own flowers. The joy of it was gone. i busied myself with chores. After another night of play, Susan and the children left for home. The house was nice and quiet again. i did not say a word to Biker about how the flower incident bothered me.

Over the next few weeks prior to my surgery, i spoke often to Susan, either by way of online chat or by phone. Biker had a project deadline so He would not be able to be with me for the surgery in Tennessee. Susan was irate. There was no way i could be alone while having surgery. i told her it was ok that my Mom and Dad who lived near the hospital would be there. This did not satisfy her. She seemed upset with Biker. Biker worked for the military as a civilian and this job had to be done. She decided she would come to the hospital with me until Biker could get to me on Friday. i was going in on Thursday and having the surgery the same morning. Susan said she would be there. She never came.

On Thursday evening after my surgery, Biker called and told me Susan was on her way there. Not to the hospital but to our Home. i had not told Biker that Susan had said she would be with me at the hospital. i was still dazed from the surgery and drugs so didn't quite get it. He had told her He did not need her there as He was coming down on Friday to stay with me. She was coming anyway she would have the house ready for me when i got home. We said goodnight and hung up. Friday morning Biker called, and told me He would be leaving shortly to come down. Susan was there. i did not say a word about her not showing up at the hospital like she had said she would. On Saturday morning Biker and i left the hospital. He had loaded the bike onto the truck. i had driven it down for my surgery. Once home i was settled on the sofa so i could be with them and not isolated in the bedroom. The children had come with her. They all took very good care of me, making sure i had everything i needed. On Monday Biker returned to work and I was left in the caring hands of them. Susan and the kids took care of the chores, which completely surprised me.

i was straitening the bedclothes on my bed when i noticed the sheets needed washing. i knew i had just washed them the day before i left. What i saw was unmistakably dried cum on my sheets. i was a crushed. Not that Biker couldn't play with her if He wished, but while i was in the hospital, having surgery? As sore as i was i ripped the sheets from the bed and tossed them into the wash. Later that day i was in the kitchen getting a drink of water. i needed to walk to work the soreness out. Susan comes in and shows me her tits. There were bruises on them. She pretended not to know how they had gotten there. i'm thinking, now come on! Did she really expect me not to know how they gotten there? She had been fucking my Biker while i lay sick in the hospital. When she had seemed so upset that Biker wouldn't be with me, here she was in my home and my bed and trying to act oh so innocent. i was furious, hurt and feeling betrayed by her. But as always i kept my feelings and thoughts inside. The rest of the week i reminded myself that she was here looking after me. At night i could not play. It would be some months before i could. i wouldn't say she and Biker didn't at all during that week but how could i expect them not too. It would be some time before we saw her again.

Two weeks later we drove down to visit her. The thirteenth of May was Biker's anniversary, of our meeting online and mine. i had a surprise planned for Him with Susan's help. Biker had never insisted i have my nipples or clit pierced, But i knew how He loved the idea. No way would Susan entertain the idea of doing the same, She had said so. i was determined. i knew it would be painful but never the less i wanted it done. Now this is only my feeling, but i felt Susan decided to have her nipples done so as not to be out done by me. She and i left early that morning while Biker stayed with Nikki, Jen went along with us. Biker had no clue.

We drove into Columbia and stopped at a small tattoo parlor. Susan knew this man. He had done a couple of tattoos for her. Susan went first. i watched. i heard her let out a couple of screams but then it was over. i was a bit nervous but still had a made up mind to go through with this. It was for my Biker. It was my turn. i sat down and the man prepared my tits with some alcohol and proceeded to pierce my nipples. Yes!!! It hurt like Hell! i felt a bit faint but quickly recovered feeling proud i had gone through with it. The next step was my clit.

If i had known what i do now no way would i have let him touch me. He lied through His proverbial ass. He said it would not hurt as bad as the nipples had. Good thing Biker was not present He might have decked the guy. Susan and Jen stood in the room with me. It was a tiny cubicle, barely room enough to get into and sit in this reclining type chair. i leaned back and parted my legs wide. The room was not air-conditioned and no fan to circulate fresh air. i saw Him preparing a tray with sterilized tools. i felt him take hold of the hood over my clit and then. i nearly jumped clear out of the chair. i screamed from the top of my lungs. i felt i was going to pass out. i was hot and couldn't breathe. Susan began fanning me. She told me later my face went deathly white. Jen rushed to get a wet paper towel and a glass of water. The guy was trying to hook the ring but when i had moved the needle had slipped. He tried for five minutes with me screaming for him to get it done. i wasn't going home without that ring. He finally said he just couldn't go on. It was going to work. i began crying not from the pain but from disappointment. i had gone through this for nothing. My surprise for Biker was not going to happen.

When i could stand, i carefully left the room without a word and slipped out side. i could breathe again and no longer felt faint. i waited on Susan and we drove back to her place. The clit no longer hurt. i cried all the way home. By the time we reached home our tits were unbelievably painful. Biker was walking along the drive with Nikki and her cousin Elizabeth. He said He could tell something was going on from the look on our faces. We just smiled limply and drove on up to the house. i went straight upstairs and waited on Susan to bring Biker up. i felt as though my surprise was a dismal failure. Not only had Susan stolen my thunder, the clit piercing was also a flop. He was quite pleased with the both of us. He told us that none of it was demanded but He was wearing the biggest smile. It did make me feel happier just seeing Him pleased. Susan and i spent the rest of the weekend nursing our wounds. On Sunday Jim and i left to go home.

Joe, our landlord knew how much i wanted a porch to sit out on. He and his son David showed up one Monday morning with another helper. They were there to build me that porch. We had become very close to Joe and his family, in just a short time. Jim was home. It was some sort of paid holiday for Him. i was very pleased to have Him home and now i would have a porch to sit on. i kept the coffee coming and baked a coffee cake for their trouble. Between the four men i had a small sitting porch by noon that day. They would come back in a few weeks and add a roof to it.

That evening Biker and i sat out under the stars. It was a beautiful night. There were no streets lights to interfere with the view of the heavens. The moon was full and shone brightly. The starts never seem larger or to sparkle more. i had made us a drink. Biker had His usual Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum and Coke and for myself a Vodka and O J. We sat quietly and talked for hours. This was the time i sometimes chose to speak to Him of the things that troubled me. i always seem to stutter and stumble trying to put my feelings in words. i had to choose my words carefully so as not appear to be attacking. By now i knew Biker also loved Susan. His eyes lit up thinking of her or even hearing her name. Biker sat quietly and listened.

i was worried about the small living quarters we had. Susan and her brood would add four more to that small space. The fourth being Jen's boyfriend Darrel. He would be moving in too. We liked Darrel so if He was willing to work and pay into the house that was fine. We would have to move in order to accommodate a family that size, my other issues a side and those issues were many, One being Nikki. She was ten. Nikki had been abandon by her father. He had nothing to do with her so Susan tried to make up for that By allowing her to have her own way most of the time. Nikki would stand and argue about anything. She was constantly in your face needing your undivided attention. As i was supposed to be Prime, i would be running the house. Susan would not make Nikki behave. This, neither Jim nor i could handle. She would not correct Nikki.

So I had made it clear she would follow the rules Jim set up for her, as would Jen and Darrel. Since i would be the one home while He worked, it would fall to me to see that those rules were adhered too. Nikki was having none of that and Susan was not reinforcing that idea. If Susan had taken her role, as she should have, there would have been no further issue, but she wouldn't or could not. This caused Biker and i some stress to say the least. Nikki was a heavy child. She did nothing but sit in front of a TV and snack when she was not in school. This would change. She took all evening to get her homework done. Many nights way past her usual bedtime of nine it still was not done. This would also stop. She would be in bed at nine and her homework finished. The TV would not be on while she did so either. She was always picky about the foods she wanted, which was mostly junk. She always wanted something different that what was on the table for the rest of us. This would also be stopped.

My issues also included my own desires not to raise another family. i had raised seven children. Three were my own, and four nephews that belonged to my sister. i did not want to do this again. i was 52 and wanted my own life. As much as i cared for Jen, i wasn't looking forward to living that part of my life over again. i also know Biker was not thrilled either. But He wanted Susan. If it had just been Susan it would have been very different. When they would visit, if without having to tell them too, they would at least clean up after themselves that would have helped my feelings. It seemed they thought they were staying in a motel, where a maid came in and did that for them. i was Not the maid. i didn't want to have to direct every cleanup job, and i shouldn't have too as three of them were adults. i cooked the meals and then did the cleanup. i did the laundry. There would be chip bags, full ashtrays, empty soda cans and dirty glasses scattered throughout the trailer. This, i also cleared away. In many respects i was relieved when they went home. i would be extremely tired and need a day or so to recover.

Biker had sat there while i tripped over myself trying to explain my reasoning. I knew it upset Him. He had some of the same concerns. Biker had raised three children as well and felt it was our time to live. But His love for Susan demanded He follow through. He stated He would see to those things i mentioned. They would have to help and abide by common house rules.

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The Journey Continues