Doubts

I guess growing up in Northern Ireland during the troubles makes a person wary, doubtful and even suspicious of people we know and love. However, I was never suspicious of the love of my life, my sweet wife, Shivon.

That morning I had just returned from a business trip the night before. I was gone almost a fortnight and was too knackered to unpack when I got back the night before. I spooned up with Shivon but didn't press my luck since I knew she was also tired and it was late. So it was that morning I was dumping all my shaving crap back into my drawer in the loo.

Then I noticed something in the drawer. It was a can of Edge shave cream. I always use Gillette in the travel size so what the hell was this then? I thought maybe Shivon was wanting me to try something new but when I popped the top there was foam scum around the nozzle. This was an open can that someone had used and dropped in my drawer.

Before I get too far along, let me get some introductions out of the way. I am Cian Malloy. My name always throws the Yanks – you say it like key-ann. I came over a few years back when the Irish economy tanked. I am a bit of a nerd. I specialize in computer security and audits and worked for a big bank back home. I worked for a consulting firm in Boston for a bit but my US work permit ran out and I got sponsored into Canada by a big bank up here. After few years with them I struck out on my own and have consulted for the RCMP, several big city police forces and banks and insurance companies. That's why I travel so much but it puts three squares on the table with a bit left over.

My lovely wife Shivon has followed me through all these moves and changes and is usually the most cheerful person you'd ever met, except when she gets mad; then look out. I guess it's something about red heads that makes them go off like that but at least it doesn't last. She yells and throws stuff but then like a summer rain storm it blows over.

We've been together near 20 years now. Our two girls Dierdra and Mary are both away at university so it's just us two now.

Anyway, I found that shave cream and put it on the kitchen counter figuring to discuss it with Shivon when she got up. I always make coffee in the morning and I put some on waiting my lady's morning smile.

Shivon shuffled into the kitchen, her face obscured by the billowing mass of long red hair that easily reached her lovely haunches. Her pale slender hand reached a cup from the shelf and she poured herself a brew, sniffing the vapours that would help to pry open those bright green eyes.

She saw the shave cream and looked puzzled. Then the realization of what it was crept into her mind and a look of pure guilt came over her face as she looked up to meet my gaze.

"Top of the morning, Shivon", I greeted her bit more loudly than normal. "Come sit here. Tell me what you've been up to while I've been away."

"Morning sweetheart" she replied taking her seat at the breakfast table. "Ahem" she cleared her throat. "Let me try to explain."

"This should be good" I quipped, "Why don't you start with who is he?"

"No one you know and his name is not important" she continued "I need to explain how it happened so you will understand. It was when I volunteered at the hospital..."

I interrupted her explanation, "I do want the history and events and even the why, so start where you like. But I will know his name and a lot more before this is over. Understand that right now."

Shivon shivered a little as she realized how seriously I meant what I said. "Please let me speak, let me finish. It's so hard to tell you this."

"His wife died of cancer. I was there that week as she faded away. More and more the drugs stole her until finally the cancer took her. I tried to console him but his grief was over powering. I got him help from the psych department and they were able to at least calm him so he could attend the funeral. He asked me to come to the funeral and I did. I also went to his house where they had lunch afterwards."

"His depression did not lift. He called me at the hospital and asked me to meet him. We met for coffee on and off, then it became lunch, then one day he asked me to come to his house for dinner. You were away and I agreed. After dinner we were talking and he kissed me. It just went from there."

"I tried several times to break it off but he seemed so fragile. After a while I gave up. I thought it would run its course and you would never know. "

"This was the only time we came to our house. You were gone and his place was being painted."

"I am so sorry. Please punish me not him. He is a good man."

"You did that volunteer work more than two years ago. This is pure shite. You killed our twenty year marriage for a pity fuck? Shivon, here's the deal. You call him right now. While I can hear you, you tell him it's finished and that you never want to see or hear from him again. No phone calls, no emails, no contact whatsoever. Do that and I will take it easy on him. If you don't then things will get a bit rougher." I stared at her making sure she got the gravity of the message.

"You'll go to jail if you hurt him. Please let me handle this my own way." She wailed. "I love you, Cian. I know that's hard to believe now but I do. I just can't do what you ask."

I thought for a few seconds then softly spoke. "We are finished, Shivon. You knew what you were doing and that I could never accept it. So now do what you like but unless you do as I say you can expect this will not turn out well."

"Do what you want with me but I won't tell you his name. " she was cowering now, though I have never laid a hand on her.

"Don't you worry about that now, Shivon. I will have his name and a lot more before this coffee gets cold." I got up, went to her purse and got out her cell phone. Taking it with me, I grabbed my computer bag and headed out the door. Instead of driving off I went around back to my workshop in the shed and lifted my extension phone. Sure enough she was calling to warn him.

"Please Geoff. Be careful. He knows about us and he will be trying to find out who you are. I don't want to see either of you hurt." She said.

"No worries luv. I can take care of myself and he's a computer nerd right? I used to knock guys around in Extreme Fighting back in Thailand. I think I can handle a computer geek." He sounded Australian and he's a fighter. Well at least I was forewarned. There was a couple of ways to go. I have mates that were IRA back home. We could rough him up, fighter or no fighter. The other way would be a bit more subtle but even more effective.

Shivon's cell phone was an easy hack back at my office. It was a smart phone so I now had his home phone, cell phone and email address. Scanning through her emails she had sent him flowers there was a confirmation with his home address. Emails from him said he was a physical education teacher at a private school. He had just returned to teaching after taking a leave after his wife died.

Well Geoff, you hard fighting dude. I could have you beaten into an unrecognizable pulp by people who know how to hide their tracks but you would soon heal. No, I think I will go for something a bit more painful in the long term.

Now what about Shivon? She's a good Catholic girl. She doesn't believe in divorce and getting one would have her shunned by her friends and her very orthodox congregation. She will not want this to come out. She will start bad-mouthing me to her friends. I will need something quick to put an end to that crap.

It came to me. I had some evidence that I helped police collect against a pedophile ring. Lots of contact information, web sites, stuff like that. I could put old Geoff in the frame and Shivon as his partner in crime.

I needed to get control of Geoff's computer. I had software I could embed into a Trojan file that would do the job just fine. All I had to do is create an email from Shivon with an attachment. I created a lovely collage of pictures of her that would play as a slide show when he opened the file, while at the same time the control software was installed and activated. When this bit of dirty work was done all traces would be removed.

It took only minutes after I hit send for the program now on Geoff's computer to ping me all was ready.

I logged in and hooked up to several of the kiddie-porn sites from the old evidence files. I downloaded whole libraries of the crap and put it in hidden folders. That way Geoff would not notice the files but a police forensic team would find them in a heartbeat.

Now I logged on to one of the sites where kids share game hints and cheat on homework. I knew the local cops watched that site. I set up Geoff as a user on the site using a fake name and started making friends with the locals. It didn't take long to find one that was an obvious cop fishing for idiots like my friend Geoff.

I asked if he would like to see pictures of a girl I thought we could get to do stuff for us and showed him pictures of Shivon. After a few the copper was convinced he had a live one and we set up a meeting.

Another email from Shivon got Geoff to meet at the café near the park and to sit at the appointed bench outside the café. An email from Geoff sounding so depressed would get Shivon to meet up just a few minutes later.

It was perfect.

The cops were there to meet them and hauled them off to jail. They searched Lover Boy's flat and seized his computer. The forensic guys had no trouble finding all the porn and history of chats with young boys. It hit the news with footage of both Geoffy and Shivon. They were out on bail with trials months off.

Of course Shivon tried to implicate me but I had air tight alibies and no evidence of any Trojan or remote access was ever found on Geoff's computer.

Now I told you what a temper our little Irish lass has right? Well our red headed princess decided to call out the cavalry. She got her cousins from Boston to come calling. Trouble was I had her phones and email bugged and knew right when they would arrive.

I called in some favours from my former IRA mates and arranged a suitable reception for Shivon's relatives.

Three lads went back to Boston with limbs in plaster and looking some sad.

Shivon and Geoff's trials were coming up soon and the prosecutor kept trying to get her to testify against him. Of course she just kept proclaiming his innocence. They finally stayed charges on her but went hard for him. Geoff got 36 months and his record will keep him away from any classrooms for the foreseeable.

Shivon is a pariah in the local community and she keeps pretty much to herself with few friends.

Me? I'm doing good. Business is doing great. Shivon has never asked for a divorce. I get all the loving I need down at the pub where lots of the ladies have sympathy for me. Maybe one will make me smile the way that Shivon did, but so far I still have doubts.