Down on the Farm Ch. 04

"Trish, did you and your mom have a talk yesterday?"

She looked up in surprise. "Yeah, we did."

"Was I the main topic?"

A much longer pause, so I ask a second time, "Was I the main topic?"

"Yes." She finally said.

Looking at each other we stand just inside the milk house. "We gotta talk, and this is not the place to do it."

"Mark?" she starts and then stops, I wait. She takes a breath and lets out a deep sigh. "Yeah, we do have to talk."

"Your mom probably has breakfast ready. We need to clean up; today's Sunday." We walk to the house and our hands find each other's. Glancing up, I see Edith working by the kitchen window as we cross the yard.

We enter the house; I smell the bacon and hear Edith saying, "Sam, Becky? Breakfast is ready. Mark and Trish are here. Let's eat."

Quickly, kicking off my dirty boots, I wash my hands and return. The girls are coming around the hall corner and take their places at the table. After everyone is seated, we dig in. General chatter is heard, along with the clink of forks against our plates. I am listening while Becky complains about what to wear to church, Sam asks a question about the youth group, Trish brings up a problem with one of the cows and Edith is acting as referee to it all.

The meal is nearly over and Edith says, "Mark, Trish, take the rest of the day off. The girls and I will go to church and do the evening chores."

"Mother, what's going on?" asked Sam.

"Not fair." Whines Becky.

This was one of the few times I ever saw Edith take charge in this manner. She wasn't allowing any discussion and would brook no dissention.

Trish looked at her mom with her jaw open. I reached over and lifted a finger against her chin to close it. I gave her a nod indicating to her 'Let's go'. As we left the table we could hear the protests of the girls but Edith held firm.

Trish and I each took a shower, changing into clean clothes. The two of are walking out the door and Edith stands in the kitchen watching us. "Are you setting us up?" I asked.

"No, I'm not. The two of you need to get this talked through. What you decide is between you."

Driving to town, Trish slid over next to me and held my arm, placing her head on my shoulder. "Where do you want to go?" I asked.

"To the park, on the swings."

That's where we went. We pushed each other for a while and then moved to a bench beside the pond. We talked while watching the ducks. She talked about her sisters and how Sam was too much of a tomboy while Becky still wanted to be a little girl. She loved her sisters but thought they were such 'pains'.

We are silent again; the ducks drift to another area of the pond. Glancing over at Trish she has entered into that trance. Here eyes are unfocused with a distant look, she's not moving and lost within some mental reverie. A number of weeks ago I'd asked Edith about this and she didn't recall seeing it. I watched Trish before reaching out and taking her hand in mine. Her eyes came back to the present, looking at me. She smiled at being caught.

"Where were you?"

"Dreaming"

"Its about me, isn't it?" I asked.

She nods.

"And in these daydreams, we're married, aren't we?" I push.

Her eyes get big with surprise.

"Maybe you dream we have kids." I venture.

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh." She said as the realization suddenly sunk home that I know. She placed her hand over her mouth.

Taking her hand I pull her to her feet and we stroll around the pond. Neither of us was talking, we were waiting for the other to begin. Already a couple of hours had passed. I decided to start the ball rolling. "Your mom said we need to talk this through and I've been avoiding it till now. It's only fair you know where I stand and I need to know what you're expecting."

Ever so briefly her eyes catch mine, then drop. "Ok." she said.

"So, do you love me, Trish?"

Her silence was deafening, I wait. We probably walk like this for 3 minutes and not a word spoken. Another couple had brought bread, tossing it to the ducks. The woman handed Trish a slice as we passed. Tearing off a corner, she throws it near a brown and green bird which snatches it up. Another minute passed and I wait.

Then, almost too quiet to be heard, "Yes. I do love you." Smiling, she looks at me.

"Mark?" she asks, and I know what's coming next. "Do you love me?"

Even knowing her question, I mumble and stumble for words. "Last night, I had a dream. In it I couldn't find you, you were gone. I woke up in a cold sweat. It scared me."

She waited.

My mind is in a fog and I search for words. "Do you remember that time on July 4th?"

She nodded. "Yes."

By now I'm searching for words and not knowing what to say. "I think I told you that I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. And I wasn't. Then you asked if I COULD like you as a girlfriend. My reply was something like 'I easily could.' That was true, but I wasn't looking. Oh, Rats, this isn't going very well. I don't know what to say."

Gently, she places both her hands on my chest. "Just say it anyway you can."

I take her hands in mine and hold them close to me, looking into her eyes I feel drawn to those deep pools. Suddenly something clicks. I haven't been looking for a girlfriend, because she's been right in front of me. There hadn't been any search for someone to love, because she was here. It had been hidden by a failure to look at Trish as a woman. I'd thought of her as a child; daughter of my employer. The other night, our date to Homecoming, she was a high school girl who wanted a date and I was helping her wish come true. I'd never considered it as more, but Trish had. I was the dumb one.

Like a puzzle the pieces fell into place and like a torrent my emotions were released. No longer is there any question in my mind. No longer do I have doubts. What I'd been running from, now I was running towards. Mentally I embraced this knowledge and all it entailed. I'd stepped through my fear and found I was walking in the sunshine of Trish's love. There was no turning back; heck I didn't want to turn back.

Trish is patiently waiting, watching as the myriad of emotions cross my face. I'm smiling now and as our eyes meet, I feel like I'll drown in those shimmering pools of blue. "Trish," I confess," I love you. Oh God, I love you. I just never knew."

She tucks her arms in, drawing closer and I envelop her with my arms. My hand is cradling her head and I stroke her hair, her head is against my shoulder. Slowly she and I rock back and forth, my fingers running through her hair. Over and over I'm saying, "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Our walk around the pond continues and we return to the bench seat.

"Tell me about these daydreams you have?" I asked

She blushes. "It's been a dream of mine. Hoping some day we'd get married."

"But I haven't been very cooperative, have I?"

"Sometimes you'd indicate you liked me. Then you wouldn't. I was confused. Mom and I talked about you and once she suggested I should forget thinking of you as a boyfriend. So I did, and then you kissed me. Remember, in the milk house, on the 4th?" From no attention to that. What was I supposed to do?"

"Trish, guess I've been kinda dumb. When I first started working here, you were a young girl; daughter of my employer. In my mind, you didn't grow up, you remained a kid. It was fun working with you, it was enjoyable; you were enjoyable. Mentally and emotionally I never allowed it to become more. I couldn't because I worked for your folks. My heart wanted to get close to you, but my mind wouldn't let me. So I gave mixed signals."

I pause and Trish asked, "So?"

"I'm in love with you and I feel like I want to tell the whole world."

"Where do we go from here?" Trish asked.

Slowly I smile, then grin, and I laugh.

She answers her own question with another question. "A ring?"

"Do you want a ring?" I ask her.

"You haven't asked me yet."

Dutifully, but in all sincerity, I kneel, take her hands in mine and ask. "Patricia, will you marry me?"

"Yes I will. In a heartbeat."

Holding out her left hand, she asked, "What about that ring you mentioned a minute ago?"

"Want to go look for something now?"

Her answer was to wrap her arms around my neck and we kissed.

"I can't afford anything extravagant 'cause I am only a 'hired hand'."

She giggled, "I've had this love for you and dreamed some day we'd get married. It was a secret dream I didn't share with anyone, not even mom. I didn't believe it would happen, ever."

"You're Mom knew you loved me."

"Yeah, but she didn't know what all I was dreaming."

"Come on." I say. Walking back to my car, the sky looks the same, but something is different. My outlook has changed. I see things and want to share with someone else. Before, my thoughts were for myself. Now I want to voice my thoughts to Trish. It's almost without thinking, I'm talking and sharing ideas with her.

48 hours ago, if someone had told me I'd be like this, I'd say they'd flipped. It's not that I fell in love with Trish, the fact is that I'd been in love with her for some time. I simply never knew it and it was revealed to me. I wasn't giddy with love for her, I was deliriously in love.

We drove to a strip mall and browsed through the stores, looking. There was no possibility I could afford a diamond, and Trish understood. We located a Cubic Zircona that she liked. I had it sized, paid for it and we walked out of the store engaged.

For the rest of the day, we didn't do much. We walked and talked at the park, I took her to a restaurant and we talked some more. We were making up for lost time. Before we realized it, the evening had become late.

"Do you think I should wake mom up and tell her?"

I smiled and then chuckled.

"What? What is so funny?"

"Yes, I think you should wake your mom up. But no, you won't need to tell her. If you were to take the ring off and hid it, she would still read your face and know. Your mother is one smart cookie."

Trish removed the ring, placing it into her purse. "Let's try." As she smiled.

Arriving home, Trish went to rouse her mom and I headed to the basement to turn in. It had been a long, event filled day and I wanted to get some rest. I was asleep, dreaming about Trish, when a soft knock was at the door. "Mark, can we come in?" Edith asked.

Still groggy, I mumble a 'Yeah' as I pull the covers over me.

Edith and Trish open the door and turn on the light. Edith finds a chair and Trish sits on the edge of the bed. Trish has the ring on her finger.

"You two kids certainly don't waste any time." she commented

Trish chimed in, "You were right, she guessed. She knew."

"I wanted to congratulate my new future son-in-law." Edith said as she grinned. "What are you planning now?"

I took this moment to tease them both. "Well, we had been thinking of waking up a Justice of the Peace to get married tonight and elope, but felt that it wouldn't be fair to you or the girls."

Trish's mouth dropped open, then saw the twinkle in my eyes.

Edith turned to Trish, then me, "You were thinking what? Don't you two even THINK about eloping. I wouldn't allow it."

I chuckled and then laughed out loud.

"I want to congratulate the two of you, I know it is late but this is such great news. The two girls will be jealous when they find out?" She said looking at me. "Come on you two, let's go to bed."

Waking later, I look at the clock, it's after 3am. I heard Edith upstairs moving about, getting ready to do the milking. I got dressed and headed to the barn. She was already letting the cows into the holding pen. "I thought you would still be asleep?"