Drive by Shooting

"So you're trying to tell me that you never had sex with him?"

"No that would be a lie, he did get in me; but let's say he wasn't there long enough to achieve anything. Anyway, when his mobile phone rang and he saw that it was Greta calling he lost his erection immediately."

"Is that supposed to placate me?" I asked.

"No, it's an honest description of what happened."

"But it doesn't explain why you were there; was I that bad?"

"Oh my god, no! To be honest, if I could understand why I was there myself, I think I could have talked to you all about it years ago. As it was, I couldn't explain it to myself, so how could I ask you to forgive me?

"But you know why you went with him now?" I asked.

"To be honest with you Pete, no! I still can't understand why I felt I could betray the man I loved to go with Norman Coolidge. The shrinks have come up with all kind of weird explanations, like I was beginning to feel old or going through some sort of midlife crisis; but it you ask me they don't hold much water. That whole period is a little hazy in my memory now; I think that I went a little crazy."

"You certainly were a little ... off the wall after you were shot."

"Ah well, that's when I was in denial. I knew well enough what I'd done, but I kept on hoping that I was going to wake up one morning and it would all turn out to be a bad dream. So, I tried to pretend that it hadn't happened. Bad move according to my doctors.

"Well, I was woken from that dream the day that William came round and told me that Greta had shot Norman and Audrey."

"William?"

"William Sharp, the policeman, you remember him don't you?"

"Oh, I remember him all right, the last I heard you were dating him."

"I did nothing of the kind, what in heaven's name gave you that idea?"

"You, having dinner with him in the golf club maybe!"

"Oh my god I wasn't there having dinner with him, I was there looking for you. William told me that you always had your evening meal at the club on Saturdays. But that day you were on the course, but you never came into the lounge for your dinner. As far as we could make out, you never played golf at the club again. William and I went there for three weeks on the trot looking for you."

"Why?"

"So that I could apologise to you for what I did. I changed my doctor at William's suggestion. Well William's wife's suggestion to be precise!" I felt Maureen watching me closely to see if the "Wife" comment had sunk in. "Anyway my new shrink, as you would put it. Well, he finally straightened my mind out. He told me that I should have come right out and told you that I didn't know why I went with Norman right from the beginning. You obviously knew about it eventually, so what was the point in denying it. Whether you accepted the fact that I didn't know why I did what I did, was neither here nor there; it was my conscience that drove me to try to kill myself in the end."

"I sort of feared that was the case at the time."

"And you felt guilty yourself, didn't you?"

"In a way, yeah!"

"Well you shouldn't have done, I brought it all on myself. Annie didn't help much though, she never liked you and she was jealous of our happy family. She was telling me I'd get better if I left you when she should have been telling me to fall on my knees before you and beg your forgiveness."

"Tell me something, I didn't know!" I replied.

"You never said anything!"

"Things were bad enough as it was, Maureen. If I'd tried to come between you and your sister, they'd have come to a head much sooner."

She surprised me by replying. "Maybe that wouldn't have been such a bad thing!" With a smile on her face.

"You think?" I stuttered.

"Couldn't have been any worse, could it? Maybe I might have realised a little sooner how much Annie was manipulating the situation. It was really the girls who eventually worked that out, when Annie kept running you down to them all the time. They are so sorry that they didn't see what was happening sooner. And they were both devastated when they realised how badly they've behaved towards you."

"Their mother was sick Maureen and maybe I did get a little fed-up and gave up on you. I can't blame them for picking the sick parent."

"You gave me more chances than I deserved. Lots of men would have walked away the moment they suspected that their wife had betrayed them. You were so patient ... maybe too patient with me. There aren't very many men who would stand by their wives after what I did. For six years I put you through hell and I'm here to say that I'm very sorry for everything I did."

Maureen went quiet, I think she was waiting for me to speak, but I couldn't think what to say. I eventually plumped for. "What am I supposed to say to that Maureen?"

"I don't really know. That you accept my apology I hope!"

"No apology is needed Maureen, well not from you anyway. I believe that I realised that you were," I had to stop and think of the best word to use, "not in full control of you faculties, when you came out of hospital after the shooting. At the time, I put it down to you having been shot. I had no idea that you were hiding something from me. Then later when Greta killed Norman, all the pieces fell into place. I waited, as your doctors advised me to, for you to come out and admit everything to me ... But instead, you ran away and moved in with Annie. To be honest that's when I gave up the fight."

"What fight?"

"The fight to keep you!"

"Oh god, you still wanted me after what you knew I'd done?"

"You were the mother of my children Maureen. And I loved you."

"Do you still love me now?"

"In a way, I suppose I will always love you. But, as I said, I gave up the fight when you moved out of the house. I've got used to living without you and the girls now."

"Could you love me again, you know, like you used to love me when we were first together?"

"I really don't know, Maureen: I've built myself a new life. I have had other women in my life since you left me you know."

"I wouldn't have expected it to have been any other way; you still are a very handsome man. I am surprised that none of them has managed to hook you though."

"Once bitten twice shy, Maureen."

"Touché, I walked right into that one didn't I?" She said.

I didn't reply.

"You've got yourself a very nice little cottage." She said after a long silence.

"When did you see it?" I replied, surprised that she had.

"Oh I came over yesterday when you were out fishing. One of the village boys showed me where your cottage is. Nice lad, he told me that you often came here in the evenings and I gave him some money to call me in Falmouth when you were here. I didn't realise that you could see the ferry landing point from out here though. You saw me get off the ferry didn't you?"

"I thought that it looked like you, but I couldn't understand why you would possibly be here."

"Well you know now, don't you?"

"Not really, you could have apologised just as easily in a letter."

"But I want you back in my life; I couldn't say that in a letter. The girls want you back in their lives as well."

"Just like that, you want to walk back into where you walked out?"

"No, I must have been insane when I walked out on you, but I'm not now. I thought that maybe, if you didn't mind, I could find a cottage or flat in the village here somewhere as well, and we could start seeing each other again; you know, date a few times. Then I hoped that you'd fall in love with me all over again. I know it might not make any sense to you, but whatever I've done, I never have stopped loving you. Maybe I forgot that I did for a little while when I went with Norman, but that was for no more than a couple of days at the most."

"Supposing I accepted your proposal and I did fall in love with you again. What's to say that you wouldn't forget that you loved me again, sometime in the future?"

"You said yourself, once bitten twice shy. I'm not likely to make the same mistake twice in my life am I? Look, all I'm asking is for you to let my try to capture your heart again. Will you give me permission to find a flat of something in the village, even if it's just for a few months? If after a while, I can't persuade you that I love you then I'll go away when you ask to and leave you in peace forever. Now may I please look for somewhere in the village, or even Falmouth if you don't want me too close.

"No, I don't really think that's a good idea, Maureen!" I replied.

A look of complete devastation came over her face, that I'd seen before.

"There doesn't seem any point to my mind in you renting somewhere to live even for a few months when I have a spare room in the cottage."

The expression on Maureen's face changed to one of curiosity.

"Did you just say what I thought you said?" She asked in a tentative tone of voice.

"Am I going to have to repeat myself all the time, Maureen?"

"Your spare room?"

"Yes, my spare room!" I replied.

"Just a minute." She said producing a mobile phone from her bag and punching in a number.

"Annette?" she said after waiting a little while for a reply. "Don't you and Tracy bother waiting up for me tonight; I'm going to stay at your father's place this evening." She took a short pause whilst our daughter replied. "No, in his spare room!" Another pause, "I have no idea, but he didn't throw me into the sea when he saw me coming." Another pause, "Yes on the ferry in the morning. But Annette, not too early please?"

Maureen paused again, only this time she stood up and moved away from the table, I took this as a hint to go and refill our glasses.

Maureen was saying goodbye to Tracy when I returned; Annette had obviously passed the telephone to her sister. But, I'd overheard her say "Okay Tracy, I'll meet you off the ten o'clock ferry." Before she did so.

"The girls send their love." Maureen told me as I sat down opposite her. "I told them that you sent them yours, was that all right?"

"Of course, they're my children, I'll always love them! Even if I do wish they were young enough to put over my knee sometimes."

"Maybe it's a pity that you never did that to me. I asked for it enough."

"Don't go putting ideas in my head at this late stage, Maureen." I replied.

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Epilogue

Maureen and I met the twins from the Ten o'clock ferry together the following morning. The girls had taken the precaution of bringing Maureen's luggage with them; she didn't return to the hotel in Falmouth. Three days later the twins drove the long way round bringing their own luggage that time, and moved into my spare room together. Well, you didn't think that Maureen ever used that room did you?

The following weekend all three of them drove back to London and the next weekend they brought all of Maureen's gear back down again, when she moved in with me full time.

It was supposed to be a sort of trial period to see how we got on; after six years the trial still running I suppose. We have discussed going before the registrar, it's just finding a date when both of our daughters can get time off from their jobs to come down to be there with us that's holding things up. I suppose if and when we do tie the knot again then the trial period will be over.

Life goes on

Posted on this site with the authors permission. Kernow readers please note, DC is not offering prizes for the first reader to name the right pub or hotel mentioned in the later part of this story.