Earthbound

The intense, urgent heat of his kiss radiated from him and engulfed her entire being while his touch, at once tender and passionate, stoked the fires within her fiercely. The heated core of her femininity readily responded to his all too familiar touch and her heart beat furiously in her chest, wanting him to fill her at once.

"Don't leave me," she sighed, as the heat of his breath scorched the delicate skin on her neck, causing her to shudder. "I need you so much, god I've missed you." Looking into his eyes, she saw the look of sadness there.

"But I've never left you, Kylie," he smiled, threading his fingers through hers. "I'll always be with you..."

The loud, piercing buzz of her alarm clock broke through to her consciousness and coldly ripped her from her dream of him. She reached over and hit the snooze button then threw her legs over the side of the bed. The reality of the dream hit her hard, making her breathe in and out rapidly while she fought back her tears. Her emotions however, overwhelmed her and she felt hot tears streaming down her cheeks. "Oh god... Logan..."

Kylie's dream occurred almost every week, and it was always of her late husband, Logan. Almost a year had gone by since his passing and she missed him every single day. Sometimes in her dreams, he would sit and talk with her for hours, and it was as if he never left. Other times, the dreams were as passionate as the one she just had of him. Then daybreak would come and without fail, she would be left broken, empty, and in tears.

Looking over at her night table, she picked up the framed photograph of him and hugged it close to her chest. The chill from the glass of the photo frame, even through her t-shirt, reminded her that he was gone. "Dammit," she managed to say, before falling back onto the bed, her legs pulled close to her body so she curled up in a ball, hugging his picture. "Dammit, dammit, dammit..."

The knock on her office door shook her out of her reverie and she realized she had been staring at her computer screen for goodness knows how long.

"Come in."

The door opened and in walked Ridge, her friend and colleague from another department. "Hey, it's lunchtime, princess, and it's my turn to buy. Can I entice you into some crappycrap-ateria food? You might even get lucky today and witness my hospitalization for food poisoning."

"Now that might be amusing to watch," she grinned. "Still hoping to have a valid excuse to skip work huh?" She was always glad to see him because he was one of her comfort zones. That and because he always managed to make her laugh, no matter how she was feeling.

"You know me," he rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Always looking for a reason to jump this slave ship. They work us like dogs and what do we get? A crummy party during Christmas with terrible food. Moreover, you can't even get decently shit-faced because the there is never enough booze to do that. I'd definitely have more fun staying home and sticking needles in my balls."

"Oh yes, I'm sure the ballroom was tinier than your living room, that the sit-down dinner absolutely sucked, and the champagne wasn't even decent champagne either, but a Dom Perignon knock-off," she nodded facetiously. "I'll bet you couldn't get anyone to dance with you afterwards either and the whole evening was a total loss."

"Three freaking hours I can never get back, and I still have nightmares of it," he agreed. "And I lost the deposit on my rented tux because I thoroughly ruined it."

Kylie saw the action he made with his hand, simulating masturbation and it made her laugh aloud. "Poor baby," she grabbed her bag and walked to him to give him a hug. "Yeah I'm sure you spent the night alone, just like I'm sure I'm Miss Universe."

Ridge pulled back and smiled. "But you are."

"Am not."

"You could be if you were into the whole sleazy cattle show. You could parade around in a really hot bathing suit, shake your booty and smile that dazzling smile of yours. You'd kill the judges for sure."

"And to answer stupid questions designed to challenge an air-head's intelligence with a idiotic grin plastered on my face. Let me think about it," she paused for a second before continuing. "Umm, no thanks. I have better things to do with my time," she wrinkled her nose. "Like take a chance at food poisoning at thecrap-ateria." Walking out of her office and into the hallway of the near empty cube farm, she noticed that he wasn't with her, but rather, still standing in the doorway of her office, looking at her with a somewhat unreadable expression on his face. "Ridge, what is it?"

"Nothing, except I think you'll easily beat the competition and be the most beautiful and intelligent winner ever," he smiled and closed the door to her office. "And don't you dare disagree with me."

Blushing at the compliment, she nevertheless tried to brush it off. "Thanks, sweetie. However, I will disagree with you on one thing."

"Yeah, what is it?"

"You remembered wrong. It's not your turn to buy. It's my turn, and I say we skip the crappycrap-ateria and head to someplace halfway decent, like a Mickey D's or something," she replied. "I really don't want to risk having a bad tummy ache during the staff meeting this afternoon."

"Lead the way, princess. You know I'll never turn down their fish sandwich!"

McDonald's during the Christmas season seemed a little more busy than usual. Christmas songs wafted from their speakers, and little decorations here and there added to the mood. They sat across from each other amid the hustle and bustle of the lunch crowd.

"I don't know, Ridge. I know it sounds absolutely mental, but..." she began then stopped, not sure how he was going to take what she was about to tell him. She let out a self-deprecating laugh and shook her head.

"Ky, you know nothing you say can ever sound, as you put it, 'mental'. That's my department, remember?" He reached out to squeeze her hand over their table. "If anything, you're about the most level-headed person I've ever met. I'm duty-bound to believe you."

Setting down her fish sandwich, she picked up a french fry and chewed on it thoughtfully. "Well, even this would seem like a huge stretch for you but lately? Hmm not exactly lately, but the entire time since he passed on, actually. It's like, I feel Logan's presence sometimes." She looked into his usually gentle, understanding green eyes, fully expecting him to pooh-pooh her revelation, maybe even laugh and dismiss it as silly imagination, but instead she saw nothing of the sort in them. They were still understanding, still gentle, and he gave her a perceptible nod, encouraging her to go on.

"I've been dreaming about him," she finally said, leaning back against her chair with a soft sigh. "And in my dreams, he just... seems so real. I feel everything, just like I did when he was alive. Everything... his touch, his kiss, his voice." She let out a shaky laugh before leaning forward on the table again. "I must be going crazy. God, tell me I'm going crazy, puppy. Tell me I'm losing it."

Ridge set down his own fish sandwich, shrugged and smiled. "No, princess, why would I even suggest that? If you say you feel his presence then who am I to say you're nuts?"

"Because he's been gone for a year? Because, normal people don't actually think they feel their late spouses? Because like I said, I'm being mental," she picked up another fry and stabbed the ketchup with it. "Take your pick."

"Hey," he said reassuringly. "You're not being mental, ok? You guys loved each other a lot. Who knows? Maybe he is still around, watching over you, his favorite gal. I would."

"You would? As in, you'll haunt your favorite gal from beyond the grave?" She managed to smile.

"Sure, why not? Imagine all the fun I could have, watching her shower and change..."

"Interrupting her in mid-orgasm with strange noises, making her jump in the middle of the night," she added with a laugh.

"Naah I wouldn't go that far," he grinned. "I'd just scare the guy she was doing, right before the big finish."

Kylie tossed a french fry at him and laughed. "You're mean!"

"Hey, that's if Ilike the guy!" He chuckled, picking up the fry before popping it in his mouth.

"Uh-huh. I'll warn whoever you're dating next to watch out for that teensy weensy little mean aspect of you." She said, noticing his quiet, somewhat sad smile at her statement. "What?"

"Nothing," he quickly dismissed her query. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, I'd be happy to sleep over at your place again tonight. It wouldn't be a problem. Really."

Kylie considered this for a few moments. "You sure you like my futon?" She asked, referring to the one in her guest bedroom.

"No, I hate your futon. It's not long enough. My legs stick out," he smiled. "I'm actually in love with your couch. It's long enough and really comfortable. In fact, it's the whole reason I'm asking to sleep over at your place. It's because of your couch."

"And here I was thinking it was because of me," she said with a mock pout. "OK I'd love to have you over. I'll make the snacks and you bring the drinks and your Batman jammies..."

"Shhh!" He hushed her and leaned over, whispering. "If word of that gets out, I'll be a total joke at the office!"

Making a hush gesture, she whispered back, "Sorry, I didn't know what I was thinking. How does 8 o'clock sound?"

"Great! I'll pick up a video too. The movie you mentioned you wanted to see but never did? It's out on video now," he winked.

"Really? Wow thanks," she leaned over and squeezed his hand. "I mean it. Thanks Ridge, for everything."

"No problem. Anything to help."

"Oh god this is delicious!" Ridge said, popping yet another shrimp dumpling dim sum into his mouth. "It's a good thing I'm working out tomorrow, with all these dumplings I'm piggishly devouring."

Kylie poured more merlot into his glass, before leaning back against the couch as she sat on the soft, comfortable sheep skin rug on the floor with him and popped one into her mouth herself. "Yeah, which is kind of why I made them, so I can amuse myself with the spectacle you're making of yourself," she grinned, sipping on her wine. "Mmmm, this movie is great by the way. Funnier than I thought it'd be."

"It's a chick flick, but anything to make my princess feel better," he nodded.

"It's not a chick flick! It's got Will Smith in it!" She protested.

"Baby, it's a chick flick if my boy Will ain't blowing things up and blasting people away," he explained with exaggerated patience. "As it is, the movie's almost over and if not for your delicious shrimp dumplings, your curtains would be swaying in time to my snores by now."

"Shaddap!" She laughed, tossing a throw pillow at him.

"Hey! What? It's a compliment on your delicious dumplings!" He shrugged the pillow off and held up the plate with one dumpling left, looking at her with puppy dog eyes. "More, hopefully?"

"Alas, that's the last of it," she said regretfully. "Sorry, puppy."

"No, that's fine. It's good, actually. Saves me from upgrading my wardrobe," he smiled. "And you can have the last piece. I insist."

"Naah you have it," she nudged the plate towards him with a knowing smile. "I know you want to, so go on. I can make those anytime I want. Really, it's ok."

"OK!" he flippantly said, popping the last one into his mouth. "Oh god... yummy."

Kylie got up when the closing credits for the movie rolled. "I liked it, even if it was a chick flick." She reached down for the plate just as he stood up, causing them to collide with each other.

"Whoa!" He grabbed her arm to steady her. "You ok?"

Kylie nodded, now very aware of his touch for the first time that evening. That, and the way he was looking at her or rather, the way he'd been looking at her lately, made her heart beat all that much faster. "Yeah," she nervously laughed. "Just wasn't expecting that. I was going to take the stuff to the kitchen."

"No you're not," he smoothly objected with a smile, taking the plate and wine glasses from her. "You made me dinner. The least I can do is wash up. Why don't you head on to bed? I'll take care of the rest."

"You sure?" She asked, glad for the chance to be alone so she could gather her thoughts. "You don't have to, you know. Just stick them in the dishwasher will be fine."

"I'm very sure. Besides," he lowered his voice and reached out to caress her cheek tenderly with his thumb. "That luggage you're hauling around under your eyes tells me you really need to get some sleep, princess."

"OK, you have fun in the kitchen," she stood on tiptoe to hug him. "Thanks for being here, puppy. Goodnight."

"No problem. Night."

Ridge settled down in the living room couch, with the volume on the television turned down low. He pulled the blanket up around his body and, as usual, in his private moments, thought about Kylie. He didn't know exactly when he'd fallen for her, but he knew that he loved her. He wasn't quite sure how to approach this situation, or even if he should, because he'd seen her literally fall to pieces when Logan died in the car accident a year ago. Tonight wasn't the first time he'd slept over at her apartment but he didn't mind it in the least. The first few months were the worst for her, and he was always there to comfort her when she woke up crying in the middle of the night.

Today's revelation worried him a little. He had no doubt she was speaking the truth when she said she still felt Logan, because she was not one to lie, especially about something like that but he was nevertheless worried about her state of mind. The entire evening however, she seemed fine, and made no further mention of Logan.

Closing his eyes, he thought of her in the next room, just twenty feet away from him, separated by a wall. Not for the first time, he imagined holding her close to him as she slept, taking in long, deep breaths as he breathed her into his soul.

Lying on her couch, knowing she was close by, was as close to paradise as he could get for now.

They were lying atop a small mountain of soft, large, velvet cushions of warm hues of, purple, red, orange, and brown with gold trimmings. The room they were in was awash in a soft, amber glow. She felt peaceful here, calm, and wasn't surprised to see him again. He was busy caressing her body with his kisses and his touch, loving every little bit of her. Fiery sensations lit her entire body as he breathed on her skin, causing her to moan while her fingers threaded through his blond hair.

"Every curve... every inch... I've missed you, Kylie," he whispered, smiling when he felt her shudder slightly.

"I wish you didn't have to go. I wish you'd stay," she stroked his hair, looking at him sadly. A sad look crossed his features, one that made her ask, "Why did you have to leave me alone?"

Sitting back, he pulled her so she sat up with him and seemed to contemplate something before he spoke. "We have to talk, love."

Kylie recognized the serious tone in his voice, so she sat up and paid attention. "About what?"

"About Ridge," came his response, his gaze focused on her, observing every little nuance.

"Ridge? We work in the same company. We're really good friends."

"I know," he took her hands in his and smiled at her lovingly. "I also know he loves you, and you love him too."

"I..." she started to deny, but then stopped short when she caught the look on his face. He always knew her so well, so much so that she could never lie to him even if she wanted to. She sighed and slowly shook her head. "I feel disloyal even having feelings about him, even thinking about him in that way..."

"Well don't," he cut in gently, stroking her face. "Don't feel like you're being disloyal to me. I'm gone, Kylie, and you need get on with your life. I know I haven't been fair to you this past year, haunting your dreams like this. It's my own fault for doing so but I realize my mistake now. My remaining here only made it that much difficult for you to move on, and for that, I'm deeply, truly sorry."

"Logan..."

"Please, let me continue," Logan shook his head and gazed down for a moment. "I'm not quite sure why I stayed when I should've moved on myself. I guess I wanted to make sure that you were ok, that you'd be well taken care of. I love you so much, Ky, and I want so much for you. I'm sorry I had to go when I did, because there's nothing I want more than the chance to be with you again, but I can't, and he can."

A long pause followed, during which she kept quiet and listened. She could see that it was difficult for him. She read the sadness in his eyes, felt its depth and felt torn. Ridge... she knew what Logan was saying was true, because it was apparent all along, the little things he did to make her happy, the little gestures of affection that spoke volumes.

"I've seen the way he looks at you," Logan continued. "How you are around him versus how you are when you're alone. He makes you happy, makes you laugh, and he makes you feel safe."

"Logan, please. Don't," she tried to quiet him by pressing her fingers to his lips, but it was apparent that he was having none of it.

"Ky listen. Please. I don't have much time," he said, looking off in a far corner of the room, where the door was, before looking back at her again.

"Time? What do you mean, where are you going?" She asked, looking in the direction he just looked at. "What's going on?"

"Baby, it's time for me to move on."

"No! Logan..."

"I feel at peace," he assured her. "I can go now because I know you two will be happy together. Believe me, I wouldn't leave my girl with just anyone. Ridge is a good man. I can tell he is, and I know he'll love you like you deserve to be loved."

Hot tears had by now filled her eyes and fallen down her cheeks. She squeezed his hands and shook her head. "I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll go on. Say you'll..." Logan's voice caught in his throat and he had to pause. "Say you'll live and be happy, that you'll allow yourself to be happy, all right?"

Wiping away her tears, she slowly nodded. "I will, and I'll always love you, Logan."

A huge grin crossed his face and he took her hands in his and kissed them. "I'll always love you too, Ky."

"Will this really be the last time I see you?"

Logan nodded in affirmation. "Yes. It's better this way. And hey..."

Kylie looked up at him with a sad smile. "Yeah?"

"Go to him. He isn't he sort of man who will make the first move if he feels he's taking advantage of you. So you're going to have to. And before you ask, yes he wants to be with you."

"And you know this... how?"

"It's a guy thing. I'm a guy, so I know," Logan chuckled softly. "Quit asking so many questions and just do it, ok?"

Kylie nodded and this time leaned forward to hug him. "Thank you, baby, for everything. I'll never forget you. I love you."

"I love you too," he embraced her and placed a kiss on her neck. "You'll be all right. When you wake up, everything will be all right..."

That slight touch on his cheek woke him up with a start. He sat up, not quite alert. The only source of illumination came from her Christmas tree, and when he saw her kneeling next to him on the couch, surprise turned to worry. "Ky? What is it babe, are you all right?"

In response, her lips met his and before he knew what was happening, they were kissing. If he was groggy a few moments ago, he was fully awake now. His initial worry melted into need as the woman he yearned for so long did the one thing he was beginning to think would only happen in his dreams. He watched, mesmerized, as she broke their kiss, leaned back on her feet, and let her silky, shimmering blue kimono-style robe fall off her shoulders. By the light of her Christmas tree, she looked like a dream, his very own goddess personified.