I was getting impatient for him to call, my older brother whom I was closest to. He was in the Marines, had been for over 15 years. I am 25 years old now and he is 10 years my senior. I still adore him, always have. He never called me by my name Sara; he either called me squirt or pest. This was ever since I was a snot nosed kid. I guess I was a pest. He let me hang out with him most of the time he was home that is until he discovered girls. Then I was a pest. I was jealous of his girlfriends. I wanted him for myself. I was in love with him, a little girl's love. I had been infatuated with him for years now. He didn't know it though. I had unusual dreams about him. Dreams I shouldn't be having. Not by a sister anyway.
My thoughts went back to my brother. I hadn't seen him in over three years. This call was important, too important to miss. I had been planning the family reunion for months. He was the only one of the family that had not committed. No one knew where he was. I had sent him a letter through the military notifying him of the reunion and he had called and gotten my answering machine. He said he would call back tonight before 8:00. It was now 9:30 and no call. I was disappointed.
I needed a shower after my run and since it didn't look like he wouldn't call, I picked up my phone just in case and headed for the shower. I took my time bathing and was getting out when the doorbell rang. I looked at my watch lying on the counter, discovered it was after 10: and wondered who in the hell would be coming over so late. I slipped into my robe, wrapping a towel around my wet hair and headed to the door in somewhat of a bad mood. I hated to be disturbed this way and so late in the evening. I was about to say a few cuss words as I opened the door. When I did, all words left me. Speechless, I stood there staring at Eddie.
"Eddie," I squealed as I rushed into his arms. "You butt head," I squealed again as we hugged. "Why didn't you call? When did you get here?"
He pushed me away gasping for air as I had been hugging him so tightly. "Just now, I got here just now. I wanted this to be a total surprise. You are surprised aren't you?"
He was holding me at arms length now and unknown to me in my excitement, my robe had come open exposing my breasts to him. He was looking down at them and stammered, "I think you had better wrap a little tighter," as he let go of me and closed up my robe for me.
I turned beet red, embarrassed that I had given him this view as he said, "I think you had better go dress. Where can I put my stuff?"
Still blushing, "Eddie, put your things in the guest room."
The guest room was just past my bed room where I rushed to dress. As he walked past me I shouted to him. "Where is Sharon?" Sharon was his wife of 10 years. He didn't answer.
I had inadvertently left my door partly open while I dropped my robe and took the towel from my hair and dried off. I wasn't aware right away that he had walked back and was standing just outside my partially open door watching me. It wasn't until I saw a little movement of the door in the reflection of the full length mirror that I was standing in front of that I was aware of him standing there watching me. I hesitated, not knowing what to do when I decided not to let him know I knew he was there. I wondered what would happen if I took my time and let him watch. I knew I was playing a dangerous game that I shouldn't be. We were brother and sister. My little girl feelings of being in love with him came crushing back. I took my time drying off and turned this way and that while letting him watch me. My body was slim and tight from my workouts and running. My blond bush glistened in the light. I hadn't shaved or trimmed down there for some time and it was now natural. I was proud of my slim petite figure, due in a large part from genetics and my desire to keep in shape. Mother was still a knock out even after having a bunch of kids and dad was still slim and handsome too. I took after both of them. I had been the envy of all the girls in school, with my good looks and petite figure. I had no trouble getting dates and was told often I could be a model if I wanted.
Eddie inherited his good looks from father although he was much taller at 6'6" and broad shouldered with a slim waist and tight abs. He kept in shape. The Marines did that to a man.
I thought I could hear heavy breathing just outside my door. I wondered if he would come in. In a way I wanted him to. I was wondering where his wife was.
After I dried, I walked around my room getting panties and a pair of shorts from my dresser and a halter top from the closet near the door. I didn't look at the widening crack of the door or at him but I gave him a close up frontal view as I walked towards the door and stood in front of him and reached into the closet to get the halter top. I hadn't started dressing yet and did so just inches from him. I could smell him, the sweetness of the cologne he was wearing and the manly sent of him. I didn't want to startle him and reach for the door so I turned back and went to get my hair brush and brushed out my hair. When I finished and went for the door, he wasn't there. I was disappointed but understood why he didn't come into my room and take me. He was after all my big brother. I found him in the living room sucking on a bottle of beer looking a little embarrassed as I walked into the room.
"OK Eddie, I guess you didn't hear me when I asked where Sharon was. How come she is not here with you? Why did you come here and not to the homestead to see mom and dad, they have been messing you something awful? You haven't been home in over 3 years."
"Grab yourself a beer and sit pest, I'll tell you everything." I left and got two beers, one for me and another for him and sat opposite of him.
"OK, spill it," I said as I handed him his beer.
"I found out Sharon has been playing around on me. It started on my first tour in Iraq, lasted the entire year I was gone and on every tour after that. The three in Iraq and the three in Afghanistan were each with different men. She was even playing around when I was home. I couldn't take it anymore and told her to get out. That was two years ago. I signed the divorce papers just before I left to come home."
I sat there shocked at what I was hearing. That bitch. I always thought she was a bitch and to have her screw over my brother like that. I looked at his sad eyes, wanting to hold him. "Have you found someone else?" I was wondering how long it had been since he had been with a woman.
"No, I haven't been looking. I haven't been interested; the Marines have kept me too busy and well, after what I just went through, no, I've stayed away from trouble. I was in love with her, she meant everything to me. Sharon was the love of my life. I'm not sure I could trust other women. It has been over three years since we..." He choked up and went silent.
My heart was breaking for him. I could see tears in his eyes. What she did to him was so cruel.
"Eddie, you can come to me any time you need someone." I didn't know why I said that or what it implied at first. I had just blurted it out without thinking.
He acted like he didn't hear me. Maybe he didn't understand what I just said. I'm not sure I understood myself.
He continued. "I wanted to come here and not face the folks so soon. I have to have some space and they would try to be a little clingy, would want to know every little detail. You know what they can be like."
I knew. I have been grilled by them before.
"The reunion is not until next week end. That will give me a whole week to be here with you, just like old times. I'll even let you be a pest. Just don't let the rest of the family know I am here yet."
I grinned at that thought, us alone together. I wondered if he did understand what I said earlier. I was beginning to understand what I said. I tried it again to make sure.
"You do know you can come to me anytime Eddie, anytime for anything... You understand what I mean?"
He looked at me for the longest with a puzzled look on his face. "Do you mean what I think you mean?"
He sat there looking at me. I thought I knew what was going through his mind. I had the same thoughts. It wasn't right what we were thinking. It was taboo. He changed the subject.
"Times have been tough for me in the Marines, being part of a Special Forces team. I know I haven't told you about it or anyone in the family. Sharon didn't even know what I was doing on my tours. There is a lot I can't talk about but I'm starting to have night mares about it. I've found I needed to get away for a while. Actually I was told to get away by my superior. I have up to 3 months off to find myself and make my decision if I want to stay in the Marines. If I do it will be mean advancement to Colonel and taking over the Force training program. Something I can't talk about. There would be no more deployments unless it is in the interest of National Security. Actually I shouldn't be telling you any of this but I need to talk with someone I can trust. You just happen to be the only person I can trust to keep quiet about what I say to you."
I thought about what he was saying. He wasn't on the same wavelength that I was. He was all business. I was someone he could trust to talk to about his life, not the thoughts I had been trying to get across to him; that I am available for him to sleep with if he needs to. I wondered where this conversation was going. He looked tired, was tired from his long trip. I thought it best if I told him to go to bed. I would tackle all of this when we both had a good night's sleep and try to work another angle. I got up and leaned down to him.
"Eddie, you look tired. We need to go to bed. Let's talk tomorrow."
I leaned in closer and kissed him. It wasn't quite like a sister peck. It was on the lips and when I leaned back and stood up, there was a very confused look on his face. I'm not sure it was caused totally by the kiss though. It was where I placed my hand. It was on his crotch and I had felt him.
Again I said, "Eddie, you can come to me anytime you need me."
With that I walked away to my bath room to brush my teeth. I called out to him to turn off the lights as he came to bed. I didn't think I could be any clearer. Still as I was brushing and looking at my reflection in the mirror, I began to have doubts. I kept asking myself if I knew what I was doing. I didn't have these feelings with my other six brothers. They were just my brothers as was Eddie. Why did I feel this way about him? As I was brushing, I heard him flipping through the channels on the TV. When I finished brushing, the TV was off and I heard him rummaging in the kitchen. I went on to my room. I didn't bother closing my door and flipped on the bedside light and undressed. It was quiet in the rest of the house and as I was undressing, I casually glanced toward the door. Eddie was standing in the shadows watching. I didn't call out to him; I thought he would enter on his own. I was parading around nude for him and as I noticed the moon was full, I opened the curtains and the windows to let in the evening breeze and moon light. I flicked off the light. While the moon lit up the room, the doorway and hall were in darkness and I could no longer see him standing there. I turned back the blankets and lay down on the sheet. I didn't cover myself but lay there letting the breeze flow over me and the moonlight illuminate me. I was inviting him to come to me.
"Eddie, come to bed." I whispered to him, loud enough for him to hear but not so loud I hoped as to not scare him away.
There was no movement from the shadows and no answer to my whisper. A little later I heard the shower running in the guest bathroom. I lay there listening, I was thinking about what I was doing, the repercussions it would cause. If I went through with this, seducing him, he would no longer be my brother. Would we still remain close or would this change us, drive a wedge between us. It certainly would drive a wedge between us and the rest of the family if they should find out. Did he feel the same way about me? I didn't know. I knew what I was doing was tormenting him. He hasn't come to me. There is resistance. I am his little sister. He had the same upbringing as I. Incest is wrong, we were both taught that. I had even had several cases at work that involved incest. It created a nasty scene and broke up families. Thinking about that, I kept asking myself why I was trying to seduce him and tempting him to have sex with me.
He didn't know it but he was the only boy I had ever watched. You know, do his thing. I had been playing in the barn, hidden between some bales of hay in the loft. I had tunneled between them hidden well, when I heard him come into the barn and watched him come up into the loft. He had a magazine hidden there and took it from its hiding place and started looking at the pictures. I didn't know what it was but after he started looking at them, he unzipped his jeans and took his thing out. It was the first time I had seen one. I didn't know boys were different than girls that way. I watched in amazement as it grew larger. He stroked it and it got larger still. He kept stroking it until it spurted this white looking stuff. When that happened, he moaned and shook a little. He then cleaned up, hide the magazine and left. That was when I came out from between the bales and looked at the magazine and the whitish stuff that spurted from his thing. That was the only time I saw him do it in the barn. I had dropped my shorts and looked at myself wondering why I didn't have something like that to play with. I wondered if he would let me touch it and play with it. I didn't know how to ask and was afraid to.
Then there was a time when one of his girlfriends came over to swim. He didn't know it but I had found his hiding place a short distance away from the swimming hole in some brambles and tall grass. It was where he took girls to make out. I had a place in the brambles where I could watch and listen unseen. I liked to watch. This one time they were making out and he had gotten her top off and was playing with her tits while working to get her bottoms off. She kept telling him she was having her period. I didn't know what that meant but he soon gave up on that after she had taken his thing out and started playing with it. Soon she had it in her mouth and was sucking on it. He was moaning to her and telling her how good it felt. He was also pushing it in and out of her mouth. It wasn't long until he said he was coming and let out a loud moan, held still and told her to suck him dry. He moaned all through it and tried to get her to swallow. She didn't though and when he stopped spurting, she spit it out. I wondered what it was like, sucking on his thing and letting it spurt into your mouth. It was only a week later he took another girl there. Her name was Mary. She was the only one of his girlfriends I liked. They were very heated in their making out and I watched as he got her out of her bikini. She had what I thought a very beautiful body with a dark patch of hair between her legs. I watched in amazement when he stuck his mouth down there and had her squealing and moaning. Soon after her body quivered and shook. When he finished that, he took his thing which was very hard and stuck it between her legs and pushed it into her. He was on top of her and she moaned a lot as he pushed it in and out. Pretty soon he moaned he was coming and pushed it in and held it in her. Then he just lay down on top of her and rested.
That's when I learned about sex. I had watched our horses doing it and of course the cows but I didn't know people did it, only the animals. I wondered then what it was like to have a boy put his thing between girl's legs and push it inside them. It looked like they were having fun with all the moaning and stuff. He left not long after that for college and it was a little later that I learned all about what they had been doing.
Puzzled I wondered aloud why these thoughts had hit me just now, why I thought of his cock as his thing. I hadn't called a cock that or thought about my brother in this way for years. Perhaps it was because of the older married man I was trying to seduce on my runs. I liked the way he had looked at me each time I flirted with him. Still he wasn't ready; I wasn't ready yet for his seduction. Maybe by next week, there would be no further resistance left in him and I could lure him into the place in the bushes I had made ready for him. I wondered how he would take me. I smiled at the thought. I was more than ready for him. I loved seducing older married men. This one I knew would be a very good lover. He showed it in the devotion to his invalid wife.
The water shut off and it got quiet. I lay there waiting. The anticipation was killing me. I was wet, my fingers went there testing, slipping in the moisture. Before I knew it I was moaning through an intense orgasm as my fingers automatically sent me there. Through a blissful haze, I saw him standing in the doorway but I was so involved in my release I could not stop. I desperately wanted to orgasm with him inside me but there was no way I could stop what was taking place now. My body stiffened and took its course. I couldn't stop it if I wanted to. My body quivered in its release. It was so intense. When I calmed down I looked back at the doorway. He wasn't there. I was disappointed but too tired to call out to him. I waited and eventually dozed off.
I awaken sometime early morning with the sunlight streaming into my eyes. I was snuggled under the blankets, groggy with sleep in the cool air of the bedroom. I snapped suddenly wide awake when I realized I was under blankets. I looked around. The windows were closed. I didn't remember getting up and closing them during the night nor reaching down and pulling up the blankets. I lay there thinking about last night. Did Eddie sleep with me? I didn't think so. He must have come in and covered me up though. The bed didn't look like he had slept beside me. The house was too quiet I thought as I lay there. I jumped up and headed to his bedroom. The bed had been trashed but he wasn't there, neither were his bags. I went into panic mode then and searched the rest of the house. His car was not in the driveway. He was gone.
I went into a total panic now, knowing I had screwed everything up by going too fast. I should have taken my time in seducing him. I knew how to seduce men; I didn't know how to seduce my brother. Broken hearted, I went back to his room and crawled into his bed. I wanted to be close to him, to smell him. I started crying knowing I had screwed everything up. I cried into his pillow until it was soaked and I had no other tears left. I was in dry sobs now when I finally got up. There was nothing left for me to do. Sadly I left his bed and wandered through the rest of the house. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where he would go. I thought about calling my parents to see if he had gone there. I remembered what he had said. He didn't want to go there until the reunion. That was next weekend.
I hadn't dressed yet; I had been running around the house nude so I decided to go take a shower and try to figure out what to do. I glanced at myself in the mirror as I got into the shower. I looked terrible. It took a long hot shower to finally calm me down. When I got out I discovered I looked close to my old self, refreshed and ready to figure out how to repair the damage that I had done. Eddie had high morals, I knew that. Why did I do what I did? I thought he would never speak to me again.
Somehow I had absent mindedly wound up in my bedroom standing in front of the mirror looking at my reflection. Even with his high moral values, I couldn't understand why he had walked away from me. No man has ever done that, resisted the invitation to my body. I wondered if my other brothers would walk away had I exposed myself to them. I did not want them nor would I do that to them. No I thought I had to figure out how to explain to Eddie, that this was all a mistake and I needed his forgiveness. I wanted him back as my brother. I was afraid that was all gone now and he might never talk to me again.