tagBDSMEgo Aside

Ego Aside

byClank©

It began over the years, I have had a few close friends and my wife ask how I got involved in BDSM. Since I was a small boy, age 4 or so, I had fantasies of women bound, with their bare asses revealed to me. I think it might have been from some classic art book I had been exposed to that I don't remember, but that vision has remained clear to this day. The women were not typical of modern day models; they were very Rubenesque, large women with looks of worry and concern. Bound and possibly at a slave auction My brother made fun of me because I was interested in their asses and not the breasts. That is one of my oldest memories.

Those pictures disappeared, either the books were removed, if they were books, or the pictures hidden. As I grew towards maturity, I found pornography wherever I could get it, and stashed it in the woods, away from prying eyes. One of my favorites that I still reach for occasionally is Variations Magazine. It was full of erotic stories with very few pictures. The stories were on topics that intrigued and some even sickened me. My favorites were on domination and submission. I couldn't get enough of them and read them cover-to-cover. This was the primary tool for sparking my imagination and giving me ideas for future relationships.

Although in my youth, I was a Lifeguard with numerous girlfriends, only a few were long-term relationships. To develop the level of trust needed to talk about and initiate bondage and discipline into sex play, they typically have to be very long term relationships, this is my feelings anyway. Most of my girlfriends were dating relationships, vacationing tourists, spring breakers or girls visiting their grandparents for the summer. The few long-term relations I had were very vanilla, mostly because I rented a room from my parents and they were living at home. It wasn't until I was 21 that I began working in another city and often, instead of commuting, I would stay with my girlfriend.

Linda and I had been dating for about nine months and early on, she had expressed her desire to be in charge pretty often during our sex play. It was something she said she had some experience with in the past and wanted to explore further. This was fine to me and we had some great fun with it. There was no spanking, real pain or such, but there were commands, bondage and a lot of teasing. Mostly she got her way by denying me pleasure, but sometimes she needed more incentive to get me to do exactly what she wanted, when she wanted it. I back talked a lot and never really took any of it seriously.

One night we talked about it while lying in bed and I indicated that there were times when I felt my masculinity was threatened and that was when I rebelled and refused her demands, to regain my position as the male in the relationship. There was nothing she asked that I wouldn't do, I just was fighting the good fight. She flat out asked what she could do to get me past this barrier.

"Nothing," I replied. "It's me holding onto the position of dominant male and I don't think I'll ever put it aside. Too much ego I guess." She nodded thoughtfully and we snuggled and drifted off to sleep together.

The next day we worked on the farm some, loading hay bales and clearing out the stalls. She hadn't had a horse of her own in years, but she planned to take in a couple of horse borders for extra cash. Linda owned this small farm with her aging mother. The farm wasn't big, about 20 acres I'd say, but the nearest neighbor was a half-mile away, so it was private. Linda's mother was spending the summer in Europe with a retiree travel group. We really had it to ourselves even when her mother was here as she was a big bingo player and often went on cruises with the same group. Linda and I had both worked at the same hospital, her as a psych tech and me as a rec. therapist. I had recently left the hospital with the plan to take the summer off, and then to start running after-school programs in the fall. This would allow me to focus back on college and finish my degree, something I couldn't do with the demands of the Hospital. My summer plans were to do a lot to help out on the farm, enjoy the pool and relax.

Late in the day, as we walked across the field towards the house, she stopped me and ordered me to strip. "Come on Linda," I replied, "lets just hit the pool and get some sun."

"Slave," she said sternly, "I ordered you to strip, and you will continue the rest of the way to the house as you should have been all day, naked." I smiled sweetly at her and kept walking. Although her tone sounded fun, I was hot, tired and ready to relax. "You can do what I tell you to do now, or suffer for it later. Is this your choice slave?" she asked with her hands on her hips.

"Come on, I'll race you to the pool," I said as I set off running. I figured at the most, I would not get sex for a few days, and that pool was looking good. When I got to the pool, she was walking sternly towards me, then past me and into the house. I shrugged, stripped down, hosed all the grim off me, dove into the pool and then climbed out and onto one of the lounge chairs to get some sun and relax. I heard her on the phone, but couldn't tell whom she was talking to or what she was talking about.

After a bit, she came out of the house with a pitcher of tea, naked and ready to sun herself. She offered me a glass and poured tea for both of us. It seemed she wasn't mad anymore so we enjoyed the afternoon. At one point, she leaned down after getting out of the pool and sucked me till I was hard, then climbed on top of me and we fucked slow and long until we both were satisfied. She was a great looking woman, large natural breasts and a trim figure. Her eyes were usually laughing and since of humor kept me that way too. I knew she was a bit older than I was, although I didn't know how much older, but our maturity level was so similar it didn't matter. After having worked as a lifeguard for years, I took the job at the Hospital on a whim. It had been a good 2 years there, but my education was suffering. Running the after school programs would allow me to finish my degree.

That night we watched the sun set over the fields and pool, went for a twilight walk and had a late dinner before going to bed. We talked in bed about how we felt about each other, and how we could work through anything and fell asleep snuggling.

Day 2

The next morning I awoke with my usual hard on and I was blessed with her lips on me, getting me close to release. As I started to look down at her, I noticed something around my neck and that another woman was standing at the foot of the bed watching. I started to get up, startled that this stranger was watching us. Linda bit down hard. "Don't move or you lose it," she said through clenched teeth. I was very still, she continued slowly, and surely, for some time, until I began to moan with my approach to climax, that was when the blonde woman ordered her to stop. Linda stood up and left the room wordlessly. The stranger turned towards me. She was what you call a big beautiful woman wearing a corset, which squeezed her ample cleavage upward, and some type of latex pants. She had shoulder length blonde hair, seductive yet tasteful makeup and although she was overweight, she was very beautiful and well tanned.

She smiled and said "Hello Boy. My name is Mistress Mara and I am here to help you. Do you feel the collar around your neck? It is an electrical training collar. It has a 3-mile range and is waterproof. Although I don't think you will need it, since you are going to be well behaved and want to please me I am sure.

"Where did Linda go?" I asked.

"Number one," she continued, "You will speak when I tell you it is allowed. Number two, you belong to me for now, so don't worry about her. If you prove worthy, you may get to go back to her permanently someday. She will be getting some more training too. I will call you Boy, and I call her Girl. You will refer to her as Madame and you will refer to me as Mistress Mara.

I started to get off the bed, "well, I'm not putting up with this…" I started to say, but quickly found myself on the floor in pain.

"Number 3," she continued as if not even hearing me nor having to use the remote control to send electric shocks through my collar, "You will do what I tell you too when I tell you to do it, nothing more and nothing less. If you don't, I will inflict punishment. I will often inflict punishment because I want to, and for no other reason." I lay very still on the floor, staring up at this strange woman with my life apparently in her hands. I was still shaking form the shock and could especially feel the tingle in my piercings, one on my left nipple and the other, a Prince Albert in my now flaccid penis. I learned years later that this sort of electric play is quite dangerous above the waist and near piercings. I think that is why it floored me.

"Number 4, you will be ready for my every use at all times, that means no clothes, clean and shaved, pubes too and stretched out ass. We will have to use some plugs to get you ready for that." she threw some leather wrist and ankle restraints on the floor beside me, "and you will wear these at all times. Put them on now and we will begin." I sat up and put the cuffs on. She ordered me to my knees and to put my hands behind my neck. The memory of the shock made me very compliant. "Girl," she yelled and Linda stepped back into the room. She was dressed in a similar fashion to Mistress Mara, except she wore a leather collar and she was without the pants, her pussy visible and glistening as if she had been playing with herself. Mistress Mara handed her the remote. "Hold this and use it if he needs it," she said as she reached up and used some sort of clamp to hook my wrists to my collar. Then she reached down and applied a strap to my cock and balls.

"Now to get you further ready," she said as she took the control back from Linda and handed her a riding crop. "Take him into the bathroom Girl, wash him, scrub him good, Shave him, enema him if he doesn't purge himself and then oil him down. Bring him to me when you are done. Boy, you watch all the trouble she goes through, this will be the last time these things are done for you, and you better do it just as well in the future. Girl, do not speak to him and whip him if he speaks. Let me know if he speaks too, I will want to whip him more for it later. You may allow him to get aroused but he is to have no release, nor is he to touch you in anyway, keep his hands at his neck. Now go, you have 15 minutes." With that, Mistress Mara strode from the room and Linda led me on my knees to the bathroom.

"Linda…" I started to whisper, but I was met with a stern look and a sharp sting of the riding crop on my ass. I was humiliated; we had played some slave and mistress games, but never with spankings or such. My face went flush, "What are you doing?" I asked in a hushed voice to only get about 10 more swats on my ass, making me yelp and move. I decided to be silent, for now. She motioned me to the toilet and stood waiting for me to go as I sat down. "I can't go with you watching me," I protested, only to get the crop on my thighs. She produced an enema bag from under the sink and I made myself go to avoid its use on me. She released one hand and I cleaned up. She then motioned me into the large shower stall, removing her corset and following me. She turned on the water and scrubbed me clean everywhere. Next, she shaved my face, pubes and butt, and then hurriedly dried me and oiled me down with some aromatherapy massage oil. She paid particular attention to getting me hard and reapplying the cock strap and on oiling up my ass, inserting two fingers. She then bustled me from the bathroom and to my knees as we entered the lanai where Mistress Mara was sitting in the big fan backed rattan chair, looking out across the pool and fields beyond. She was fanning herself with a leather paddle.

"Here Girl, lay across my lap," she said as she motioned Linda across her lap. "I'm afraid you took too long, making me wait so you must be punished." I waited on my knees.

"Yes my Mistress," she replied as she lay over her lap. Linda counted aloud each of the 20 whacks she received from the paddle. When she was finished, Mistress Mara told Linda to sit on a nearby stool. Linda bowed deeply, "Yes my Mistress, thank you." Linda's ass was a rosy red as she turned from me, walked over and sat on the stool.

"Did he try to speak to you Girl?" Mistress Mara asked.

"Yes My Mistress, repeatedly and I whipped him for it.," Linda replied.

"If you had to do it repeatedly, then you didn't do it hard enough," she scolded Linda, who looked down shamefully. Boy, you may speak to answer these questions. Do you understand what is happening here?"

"Yeah, I think so," I said as I watched Mistress Mara rise suddenly and storm over to me, slapping my painfully across the face, knocking me over on my side. My face burned with anger and shame more than pain. I struggled to get to my feet to defend myself, only to be met with a shock that left me panting.

After giving me some time to recompose myself, she ordered Linda to help me back to my knees as she casually sat back down. "In case it wasn't clear, you should be modeling your behavior after your ex-girlfriend and my trainee here, the one referred to as "Girl." You will address me as Mistress Mara or "my Mistress Mara." You will respond respectfully and responsibly. To do otherwise will meet my wrath. At no point should you feel you have a will of your own you need to express. Your job is my pleasure. You are going to be trained to gain pleasure from my pleasure, and not from your own. You will learn that if it pleases me to cause you pain, then that is what pleases you. You will learn to do what you are told, when you are told and to respond appropriately and immediately, and you will take pride in your ability to do so. Girl, unhook his wrists from his collar and hook them to the ceiling," she ordered.

Linda replied with a quick "Yes my Mistress" and scurried to comply. I was still too shaky to fight back and could see Mistress Mara's finger on the control. Within moments, my wrists were locked to a chain attached to a hook on the ceiling where a plant formerly hung. My ankles were then attached to a bar to keep my legs spread apart. This lowered my body position and stretched my arms tight over my head.

"Get him hard Girl," she ordered as she stood and moved to inspect. Linda knelt before me and sucked on my flaccid penis, getting me increasingly aroused, building me up until it was a deep purple from the restriction of the cock strap. All the while Mistress Mara was running her fingernails across my body, pinching my nipples hard enough to make me wince, and playing with my oily butt and torso. She spoke as she played. "You will become my plaything, just as Girl is. You will learn your place and learn to do it well. Eventually I'll be able to loan you out. Now boy, as you can see, you are no longer in control, nor will you ever be again. I asked you earlier if you knew what was going on, and I have just explained it for you. We have a lot of work to do, and you will be happier if you learn quickly."

I was getting super aroused and was moving my hips in time to Linda's stroking mouth. I was obviously getting close to coming so Mistress stepped around in front and pulled Linda's mouth off of me, turned Linda's head towards her own crotch and directed her to lick. She continued to speak as Linda licked the crotch of her pants. "As you can see, your ex-girlfriend has been a slave of mine in the past. Her training was thorough but obviously not complete. Sometimes people grow too fond of their slave and cannot seem to apply the proper punishment, which is why a stranger is called in. I have no concern for you or for her, and will treat you in the necessary way." Linda had never expressed any desire for women. That is when I realized that she had become the personality of "Girl" for a reason. So that she could perform this way and forget her true self. It was an escape, and I had a feeling I was going to do the same thing. She was not Linda anymore; she had become "Girl."

She pushed Linda back and ordered her to insert a butt plug in me, before moving over to her chair again. Linda moved behind me and I felt a slight chill of some lubricant on my ass hole right before a fairly large butt plug was pushed into my ass, stretching me out and making me wince in pain. "There comes a time in most male slaves life when they must take it in the ass, either from a male Dominant or from a strap on Mistress. We are merely preparing you Boy," Mistress said as she watched. "Now we are going to discuss "wants." What you want, what I want, what Girl wants, what your future owners will want. First, Girl, I want you to tell me what you want."

"My deepest and truest wish is to please my Mistress," Linda replied sincerely.

"And if that meant selling you to a basketball team?" Mistress asked.

"If it pleases you, it is what I wish Mistress," Linda replied, bowing her head in respect.

"How about if I sell you to a group of Lesbians?" Mistress asked.

"Anything to please you My Mistress." Linda Replied, again bowing respectfully.

"How about whipping your ex-boyfriend here?" Mistress asked with a smirk.

"Yes Mistress, anything at all," was her reply.

"Then do it," she ordered. Linda arose and moved over to a table with many tools and sex toys on it, some I didn't recognize. She picked a crop but Mistress Mara suggested the paddle used on her earlier.

Linda smiled, "If it pleases you Mistress," and she picked up the paddle and moved behind me. The first ones were a warm up for her, just getting the feel of the paddle, after the first ten, she was ready to go and continued for another ten. Mistress stopped her at that point and asked her to get me hard again. As Linda knelt and sucked on me, and played with the plug in my ass, Mistress Mara removed her pants and moved over towards us with some items in her hand. First, she blindfolded me and applied some painful clamps on my nipples, making me squirm and swing, cursing under my breath, but my dick was raging from Linda's hot mouth. Mistress smacked my ass hard with her hand when I cursed, harder than I had been hit yet, and sternly yelled for me to be silent.

"You need more discipline. You sound like a whining school girl," she scolded. "It doesn't hurt that badly." I could feel Mistress Mara move behind me now as Linda continued to tease my cock. "Don't let him get to close Girl, he may never come again, but he will definitely not come today. Just keep him close."

Linda stopped long enough to respond with a "Yes my Mistress," before continuing. I felt Mistress brush Linda's hand away from the butt plug, she began to force it in, and out, and testing how stretched out I was.

She leaned up to my ear as she pushed it all the way back in slowly and whispered, "You like it don't you Boy?"

"It hurts Mistress Mara," I said through clenched teeth, but my hard on betrayed me I was sure. Linda was very talented at knowing when to stop, and she had done so. She gave my dick a quick squeeze, as if to warn me that I had answered incorrectly. "I mean…" I stammered, "Yes Mistress Mara, I like it."

"Well," she said as she removed the plug completely, relieving me of much tension, "I'm proud of you for trying to correct yourself, but that was still the wrong answer. Remember what your purpose in life is now, that will help you to know how to respond. But you can't just say it, you have to believe it." Linda was working on me again and seemed to pick up her speed as I felt Mistress Mara push the plug back in place, but it wasn't the same one, this one was bigger. I fought to not cry out and to relax and focused on what Linda was doing. It worked. "Very good boy, I'm pleased to see you take that whole thing, you will be glad you did someday. Now then, I want you to know that it pleases me to see you like this, to know you have that plug in your ass, to know you will not be coming and to know you will be taking these whippings like a good boy." With that, she started using the paddle on me. She was hitting me about 4 times harder than Linda had been and it hurt. I couldn't help but cry out, and I could feel Linda working to comfort me in the only way she could. I did not like this, and would do anything to avoid it. Unlike some folks, spankings and such were not a turn on for me, but it was a great tool for changing my behavior.

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