Elsie

I first met Elsie when she was about 12 years old. She was part of the Scout troop my wife was helping with. Elsie's mother was one of the other leaders.

If there was anything to do with animals you would find Elsie there in the thick of things. She was almost an expert on the raising of goats, yes at 12. She had direct access to one of the college professors that teach what ever goat raising is called. They talked often about what ever goat raisers talk about.

Now, at this point, I want to point out that I know nothing about raising goats or scouting. I was a go-fer, a helper, an assistant to whatever my wife was doing that week. I was not even a leader. I will not try to pull the wool over your eyes or baffle you with BS about what they did.

My wife got her degree in Biology late in life, she was 43. She went on to get certified as a teacher and taught science for years. But her favorite was hands on with small groups working with animals and insects. Don't ask about plants; she killed a cactus garden once. Plastic flowers droop for her. She has a black thumb. But this is not about my wife; it is about Elsie and her life.

Elsie had a slight learning disability; she needed to be stimulated to learn. One of the ways she was stimulated was to have an animal near her. Goats are not allowed in schools so she was home schooled. She did well in this manner. Subjects she had trouble with she received extra tutoring. Many times all you had to do was find a way to relate the subject to her goats, and then she did well. Public schools do not take the time to deal with such foolishness, as they call it. She would have been passed over and left behind.

Elsie did well as a home schooled child, mostly A and B work. She graduated a year earlier than expected. After she graduated she went to work at the local One Stop store. Then one night some fool came in to rob the place; that was a big mistake. He pretended he had a gun in his jacket pocket. Elsie took a baseball bat from beneath the counter and beat him half to death. He escaped; but required medical attention and was caught at the clinic. They had it on video; it was hilarious.

While she was working at the store she met Ron. He was a piece of work.

Ron was not the brightest bulb on the marquee. He had been married for 20 years, his wife ran around on him for 19 of those years. She was finally caught when she brought home a case of herpes. She passed it on to Ron and he divorced her. In the divorce he found out that only 1 of their 3 children was his.

His wife got the house and the kids; but only had to pay support for the one that was his and no alimony. The child that was Ron's was 17 years old so he only paid child support for part of a year.

Elsie was 17 when she met Ron; he was 48. They fell madly in love. After convincing Elsie's parents they were really in love, they married. They held a luau in her folks' back yard. I asked if they had pumpkin poi, no they didn't. Within a year they had their first child. Money was tight since he did not earn a lot. So, she had to work also.

For a while she still raised her goats, but working full time, raising a child, running a home and raising goats was too much. She was heart broken when she had to give them up.

Around 4 years ago she got a job working in the same warehouse he worked in. Things were going well until she had the second child. The child was not the problem; Ron started to have heart problems. His heart and blood vessels were as hard as a board.

After 9 months to rehab he was released to return to work, light duty only. Financially Elsie and Ron were doing all right, but someone at work started a rumor that she was having affairs in the back corners of the warehouse.

You know how hard it is to prove that something never happened; the rumors were becoming accepted as fact.

Now, how do you file a sexual harassment charge when no one talks to you? All you can do is hope the bosses can stop it. If they are really trying to end the crap you can't sue the company very easily. Add to that the fact that all the family income is from that source and Ron would not be able to find another job in his condition. Plus Ron has been there for almost 30 years.

With the tragic ending to his first marriage Ron was not too happy with the rumors that circulated. He started to doubt if Elsie was being faithful to him. Especially since his health problems are causing erectile problems.

I overheard one of their arguments one evening.

She was sobbing and screamed "How can you say that about me? You are the man I love. You are the only man to ever be inside of me."

"Too many of the people there are claiming they have heard about your playing around. I can't live with another whore for a wife."

"Whore? How dare you call me that? Has anyone ever told you that they have had me? You know we both have herpes thanks to your ex-wife. Every one of them would have herpes. Explain to me how no one else has it."

"You might not have been having an outbreak when you did it."

She cried further and then said "I can't live like this any more, your ex cheated on you; I have been 100% faithful. I am taking the boys and moving back with my parents until you come to your senses."

Elsie filed a sexual harassment lawsuit, quit the job and moved back home. She went back to work at the One Stop. Ron is not allowed to come near her because of the restraining order.

One day, 3 months later, before she went to work she stopped by their old house to pick up some summer clothes for the boys; she had called ahead the week before and set it up. Ron was scheduled to be at work when she got there. His truck was not there, but a strange car was. Elsie called her brothers to be there while she went in. When she walked into the house she found Ron in bed with his ex-wife.

The ex lay there with a smile on her face. Ron tried to hide under the covers.

Elsie just stared at the 2 of them. Finally she said "Why don't you go a head and fuck him. Just fuck him to death. He can't get it up due to low blood pressure and the medications he is on. If he gets too rigorous he will have a heart attack and die. The life insurance is completely paid and I am the only beneficiary. No he can't change it; Dad bought and paid for it."

Then Elsie picked up the bags of clothing and turned walked out the door. As she got to the door she turned around and looked them both in the eye and said "You can have him. I don't want him any more." Then she turned and left.

It was a month later that the house burned to the ground. The Fire Marshal declared that the fire was caused by careless smoking. 3 bodies were found in the house, Ron, his ex and her boyfriend. The boyfriend was the one who fell asleep smoking in bed, the ex was there too. Ron was on the sofa asleep. Between the fire insurance and life insurance Elsie had enough to pay off a small farm and begin raising her goats again. She even got some of the original ones back from the friend she sold them to.

Since Ron died she only works, at the One Stop, part time. She doesn't need to since the lawsuit was settled but she needs to get out from time to time.

After 2 years she became friendly with Sherman, he is a volunteer fireman. Sherman was one of the ones who put the fire out that night. As the fire company chaplain he and the state police had to talk to Elsie about the deaths and fire.

Elsie and Sherman started spending time on Friday evenings dancing at the Shamrock Inn. The Shamrock is the local country bar. It's rowdy, but the music is good and the beer is cold and cheep. The food is quite good too.

Elsie only dances with Sherman.

Mom and Dad both like Sherman a lot, as do the boys. Mom, Nanna to the boys, loves spending Friday evenings with the boys. They are always making cookies or cupcakes to take home. The week before Sherman's 25th birthday they made a rhubarb pie, the boys hated it. It was too sour; Sherman said it was divine.

The firehouse was decorated to the nines the day Elsie and Sherman were married. All the firemen were there dressed in their finest uniforms. Other local companies stood by in case there was a need, there was none.

By being careful Sherman has not caught herpes yet.

Elsie and Sherman have been married for 10 years now. They have had 3 more boys and 4 girls. There were 2 sets of twins. Then, as Elsie's Dad says, they figured out what was causing it. They are just more careful now.

I don't know what makes her happier; the kids or the children.

Every Friday Elsie and Sherman go down to the Shamrock and have some good food, a few cold ones and dance until they can't stand anymore. The children stay with Nanna and make cookies or cupcakes; and the week before Sherman's birthday they make a rhubarb pie. Oh, and they make an apple pie, for those who think rhubarb is too sour.

As always, feel free to comment on the story. Good or bad comments are ok. If you are going to criticize my writing, at least proof read your comments. Too many nasty comments are poorly written, I laugh enough without your help.

If you question my lineage, or wish to suggest I was sitting in the front row, wondering what was happening and scratching my nuts at the same time, when my folks got married or in any other way try to verbally assault me the comment will be deleted.

Don't like the story? That's ok, I DO.

Yes, I can scratch my nuts and wonder at the same time, it doesn't even strain my brain.

Not gonna put this under LW, too many nut jobs there.