Entertained Enough by Love

There are no graphic sex scenes in this story, sorry. I want to thank my wife and others who have helped me in writing this story. We have discussed and debated about my work here for hours. I have made a few changes before posting so any screw ups are mine. Thanks for reading my story and please ENJOY.

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I have been entertained by love about as much as I care to, thank you. You see I'm a two time loser at the relatively young age of 26. That's right I've been married and divorced and had another marriage annulled in a period of time that most guys are still looking for "the one".

I'm James William Kelly by the way. Alexi Dennis and I met in high school and dated for about a year before graduating. She was tall at 5 feet 9 with a mane of long auburn hair, green eyes and a body that caused men and young boys to fantasize and run around in circles. There was more than one guy that tried to get and keep her attention. Her face was like an angel's, but an angel with a devil sitting on her shoulder leading her into trouble. You could tell by the look in her eyes that "Lexi" was something of a wild child.

The reason that I succeeded where others failed is that I never gave in to her womanly wiles. If a guy said no or refused to do what she wanted, Lexi would lower her head and look up at a guy with her soulful eyes and rub against him to get his attention. Then she would pout and use a little girl voice to get the young man to do what she wanted.

On our second date she tried to control me in this way and I just ignored her when she went into her little act. It wasn't that I was immune but I had watched other guys get wrapped around her finger and decided that I'd rather be a free agent and alone than to be at her beck and call.

To cite one example, on our fourth date we were on a picnic at the beautiful river just outside of our home town. The river was a clear spring fed stream flowing between some low hills. The water flowed up against a rock bluff and formed a swimming hole with a gravel beach that we used all summer. There were ten or twelve in the group, mostly couples but with a couple of single guys along too. The plan was to stay all day and have a cook out on the banks of the river that evening.

We ran out of the type of soda that Lexi preferred and she wanted me to drive back to get her some while she stayed at the river with the rest of the group. The last thing I wanted to do was leave her alone, especially with those two single dudes around.

"You want me to drive for 15 miles one way over a dirt road just to get you a soda?" Can't you drink something else this one time Lexi?" She started her little pouting routine on me and that's when I decided that I wasn't going to be her lap dog. I couldn't believe that she wanted me to waste an hour or more just to get her a soda.

"I don't think so sugar. Don't take too long or you'll miss all the fun," I told her as I tossed her the keys to my truck. She dropped the keys and walked away.

For the next couple of hours she made it a point to spend a lot of time with the two single guys in the group and with the others while ignoring me. Lexi didn't do anything wrong with either of the guys except she was supposed to be my date, not theirs. My day was spent playing in the river and hiking along the banks alone. I thought this looks like the end of a very brief romance. If she wants those guys, let her have them; I wasn't going to run after her and I wasn't going to be her boy toy to order around.

As the day wore down to late afternoon, the couples began to set up the grills for the planned BBQ. Lexi came back to where I was starting my grill and sat down. I looked over at her and continue to set up the grill.

"I decided to forgive you and eat dinner with you," she said with a bright smile as if bestowing a gift on me.

"That's big of you; thanks, but no thanks Lexi. My food and my cooking are for me and my date; since you left me I guess I'll be cooking just for me. Go back to the two guys you spent the afternoon with and let them feed you." I had no intention of making her do without but I had to make a point.

To say that she was shocked at my response was a gross understatement. I don't think she had ever had any one, especially a male, turn her down before. My rejection was something new to her and she didn't know how to react.

"But they only came out for the day and aren't staying," she said with puppy dog eyes.

"Then I guess you should go back with them. Don't forget your beach bag, it's in the front seat of my truck," I told her. I was purposely pushing her buttons to make my point.

Lexi was stunned, she sat for a minute and then tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. She really was at a loss. I let her sit there for a minute as I continued to work on the grill and then turned to look her in the eye.

"Look Lexi, I like you a lot. You are beautiful, intelligent, and fun to be with. But these games of yours make you just another girl. You're better than that and I won't settle for anything but your best. If we are going to continue dating you have to stop trying to play me. Just be yourself and we can have a good time. If not, I don't see much of a future for us. Okay?"

It wasn't that I knew a lot about women or was a super stud, but I had seen other guys play her game and then be pushed aside by Lexi. I didn't plan on being dumped the same way. Apparently my idea worked because our relationship grew after this confrontation and we really began to enjoy our time together.

I don't know, maybe she was smarter than me after all. We usually ended up doing what she wanted anyway. In hindsight, I guess I wasn't as much of a free agent as I thought. When Lexi flashed those startling green eyes at me, it was hard to turn her down.

We fit well together both physically and mentally. At 6 feet 2 and 200 pounds, I was just the right height to be with Alexi; she could wear 3" heels when we went someplace nice and not tower over me. She was stunning and my looks wouldn't scare little children so we made a nice looking couple.

The only fault that Alexi had was her lack of motivation. She knew what a hottie she was and had no intention of having to work for a living. Alexi's plan was to get married as soon as possible after school preferably to a well to do or rich guy and let her husband take care of her.

I on the other hand had a plan; I maintained a solid 4.0 GPA and worked toward a future in the business world. Alexi knew that I wasn't ready to get married because I planned on going to college and she didn't want to wait for me to finish my education. She might have had to get a job if she waited. Alexi and I would have probably drifted apart anyway when I left to go to college.

I really think that if things had been different that she would have dumped me that summer after our graduation. The little "blip" that kept her from kicking me to the curb was that we managed to get Alexi pregnant.

Lexi and I weren't in love and didn't feel that we were "soul mates", but we really liked each other and had fun together. (Apparently a little too much fun, it turned out). But I'm sure we would have parted ways when I went to college if she hadn't have became pregnant.

That's right; one month after graduation Alexi told me that she was two months along. We had taken precautions most of the times that we danced the horizontal tango. The one or two times that we didn't take precautions, Lexi said she was in the safe part of her cycle. Obviously she was mistaken at least about the safe part.

I have heard about a sinking feeling in your stomach and always thought it was just a phrase. Now I knew that feeling myself; I felt emptiness in my gut that almost made me sick. I felt my heart begin to beat very fast and thought I might pass out for a second. Recovering I told Lexi that I wasn't going to run away and that I would help see her through our situation.

A note here, the rhythm method of birth control is a crap shoot at best. It just doesn't work all that well. Of course if Lexi and I hadn't been in such a hurry at times we wouldn't have had to depend on a questionable means of birth control, now would we?

Lexi and I discussed our problem and I asked her what she wanted to do. She said she wanted to keep the baby; abortion and putting the baby up for adoption were never considered a solution. I had been raised to believe that you're responsible for your actions and their consequences and that you faced your responsibilities.

That left just one course of action; I asked her to marry me. I told her that if she didn't want to get married that I would still help her and wanted to be a part of the baby's life. Lexi agreed that we should get married and give the child a happy home.

When we told my dad and mom, Raymond and Molly, about our plans to get married and why we needed to, my mom reacted in a typical manner. She started to cry a little and hugged both Alexi and me. My dad also gave Alexi a little hug, said welcome to the family and nodded his head for me to join him outside. Oh hell I thought, here comes the lecture about I should have been more careful, how could I have been so dumb, etc etc.

Standing on the front porch my dad put his hand on my shoulder and said, "I'm proud of you for taking responsibility and doing the right thing. Your mother and I will help you as much as we can." Then he hugged me; it was one of the few times I ever saw tears in his eyes.

Alexi lived alone with her father, John; her mother had passed away when Alexi was twelve. Her father was a lot nicer to me than I thought he would be. I actually thought he might beat the hell out of me for knocking up his little girl. He wasn't jumping up and down with joy, but did show a grudging respect to me for accepting my responsibilities.

I had been offered a full academic scholarship to a very good university in my home town but with a baby on the way and a wife to support I planned to give up going to college. My folks and Alexi's dad got together and offered to pay our living expenses until I got a degree. They would pay for food, expenses and an apartment for us until I could finish my education. Between the scholarship and the help from our parents we would do okay.

We were married within a month after our announcement to our parents. They even footed the bill for a four day weekend at a resort in our area. Alexia and I figured the damage had already been done so we made the most of the honeymoon suite. We used very few of the amenities of the resort except for the hot tub and the round bed in our room.

Back to real life and in our apartment, to have money for the little extras necessary for a decent quality of life I worked part time on the loading dock of a UPS shipping center. Actually the schedule I followed wasn't too bad. I worked on the docks from midnight until 6 AM; then came home to eat, clean up, and go to my first class. I usually finished classes by 2 PM and was able to spend some time with Alexi before I had to get some sleep.

On the weekends we would do the normal things that young couples do; go to the movies once in awhile, out to dinner once a month or so, or just spend time together planning for the baby and our future. Our spending money was limited but we had a pretty good life. Our relationship progressed from two kids forced into marriage to that of a couple learning to live together and beginning to love each other.

About once a month I would work the weekends for extra money. The reason for this was that I wanted Alexi to be able to go have her hair done or get a spa treatment or some other girly type thing just for her. A mother to be needs to feel good about herself and her appearance.

Alexi and I were fairly happy. I don't think we were in love but we did like each other very, very much and enjoyed living together. We both knew that if there was no baby on the way that we probably would have broken up, but we were looking forward to our life together.

Possible names for the baby were discussed and we would make a decision as soon as we knew the sex of the child; we learned that we were going to have a son. We planned to paint and decorate the second bedroom in our apartment as a nursery and we made plans for a crib and all the other stuff needed for a baby. In other words we were planning the future for the three of us.

MEN PLAN AND THE GODS LAUGH.

Fate or the gods or bad luck decided that Alexi and I shouldn't be happy together. They decided that me doing the right thing and Alexi facing her responsibility wasn't good enough. We lost our son at the start of her sixth month.

I came home from work at 6:30 like every morning to find Alexi lying on the kitchen floor. She had been fixing a meal for me like she always did and fainted. There was a little blood on her nightgown and she was unconscious. I called 911 and followed the EMTs to the hospital. I called my dad and mom as soon as I could; and they joined me at the hospital. John was out of town on a job and we couldn't contact him.

Sitting in the waiting room, thinking and worrying about Lexi I realized that I would really miss her if this whole thing went south. I don't know that I was deeply in love with her but I had developed a more intense "like" that was beginning to turn into love since we got married.

Lexis' attitude toward "us" had changed too. She told me that she believed we could have a good life together and thought that we could learn to love each other. I guess the pregnancy had made her more mature and Lexi wasn't the same flighty girl that she had been. She was a soon to be mother, a more serious person and a young woman that was more sure of herself.

After what seemed to be a whole day but was actually only a couple of hours, a doctor came to see us. The look on his face made me think that everything had gone to hell. Once again I felt that sinking feeling in my stomach and my heart started racing.

He started out by assuring me that Alexi was okay, however she had lost the baby. The doctor explained what had happened; something about hemorrhaging and the complications but all I heard was that we had lost the baby. The doctor saw my response and had me put my head between my knees before I could pass out. After I calmed down a little he gave me a little hope; Lexi would still be able to have kids in the future.

We were allowed to see Lexi and as I came into her room, she started crying. She was very upset and kept apologizing to me for losing the baby. I held her and tried to comfort her until she fell asleep. The nurse suggested that I go home as with the sedative they had given her she would sleep until tomorrow morning. My folks tried to get me to leave but I sat at her bedside for another hour and then went their house.

When I got to my parent's house, I broke down and started crying. Even though I was a married man I was really just a 19 year old kid put under a lot of stress. My mom was holding me and crying too and my dad put his arm around my shoulders and we all shared a group hug.

John, Lexi's dad, called my parents that evening because he couldn't get hold of us at our place and assumed we would be with them. I had to tell him that Lexi was in the hospital and what had happened. As I got to the part about losing the baby, I broke down again. My dad took the phone and finished talking to John. Dad explained that Lexi was okay and would sleep until tomorrow morning. John said he was coming back right away and would be home in about a day and a half.

Mom didn't pay any attention to what the nurse had told me because she told us that when Lexi woke up, she would need a woman to talk to and left to go sit with Lexi. Mom basically ordered me to stay with Dad, get some rest, and go back to the hospital the next morning.

Lexi spent a couple of more days in the hospital and then I brought her home. She went to some meetings with a support group and after a month seemed like her old self. Well almost like her old self, she was a little more serious and seemed to have grown up a lot. To tell the truth I wasn't the same old carefree man either. I guess our ordeal had made both of us grow up a little.

About six months after losing the baby, Lexi and I went out for a night on the town on a Saturday. I took her to a good steak house, then to a little jazz club, and we finished the "date" at a little coffee shop. Lexi was in good spirits and smiled and laughed a lot.

We got back to our apartment and made slow, gentle love that night. It was the first time since Lexi had came home from the hospital that she had shown any real interest in being intimate and I hadn't wanted to push her. It was wonderful, tender, loving and we fell asleep in each other's arms. I thought we had finally turned the corner and could complete the healing process. Shows how much I knew.

Sunday morning when I got up, Lexi was sitting at our kitchen table. I said good morning, got a cup of coffee, and sat down across from her. She was very quiet and didn't say anything for a few minutes and then she hit me with the zinger.

"James, I'm leaving and want a divorce," she said.

"What?" That was my shocked response. "Why?"

"You're a good man James. You're kind, caring, and have treated me very well. I'm grateful and respect you for meeting your obligations and taking care of me. I even love you in some ways, but I don't love you the way a wife should love her husband." Lexi stopped to dry the tears running down her cheeks.

"We only married because of our responsibility to the baby, but when we lost our son the reason for us being together was lost too. I've been thinking a lot about us since I got home from the hospital. And as much as I like and respect you, I don't want to settle for anything but real love in my marriage."

"Lexi you know I care for you and I think we could be good together," I interrupted. Remember that sinking feeling? Well it was back; I didn't want her to go.

"I know and I care for you too, but it's not enough for either of us. If the baby had lived we might have made a good life together. My dad is coming to pick me up and then I'm going to go live with my aunt in Washington State. Please don't hate me James."

Those were her final words and she kissed me on the cheek as she went to answer her father's knock at the door. John helped her with two suitcases, gave me a little smile and said that he was sorry. I watched her walk out of my life.

I could have argued and debated with Lexi, but I wasn't sure of my feelings for her. Was it losing her that bothered me or losing the idea of us as a family that caused the pain? Until I could decide the answer to that question, I didn't have the right to try and keep her from getting on with her life.

We live in a no fault state so the divorce wasn't a hassle or much trouble actually. Lexi moved to Washington and I gave up the apartment and moved back in with my parents. I lived with them until I finished school. The money from my job went toward my college expenses so Mom and Dad didn't have to spend the money on my living expenses.

I talked to John several times trying to get a phone number, address, or even email so I could get in touch with Lexi. Each time he said he was sorry but based on what Lexi had said he didn't think it would be a good idea for me to approach her. John really did seem to be sorry but he couldn't go against his daughter's wishes. I understood. I didn't like it but I understood.

The rest of my college career was spent without much female companionship. It wasn't that I had turned into a monk or anything but I just didn't want to get involved with anyone right then. The pain or hurt or whatever of Lexi leaving was still eating at me. I certainly didn't want to go on hunting expeditions to the local hang outs for have a series of one night stands.