Equal Shares Ch. 32

Anne drove through and up the sweeping driveway lined with chestnut trees, and parked her car. Bob drew up alongside, and they all got out. Anne held tightly onto Stan's hand as they walked further up the hill towards the grey stones.

The sombre procession wound its way towards its destination, then, a few feet short, Stan stopped. He turned to Anne and hugged her, then moved to Bob and shook his hand and said "Thanks," before moving to Elizabeth and embracing the lady, his friend. Finally he moved to Denise and took her hand in both of his, saying "I couldn't have managed this if it hadn't been for you," he took her in his arms and briefly hugged her, too, before turning and saying "I think I want to do this bit alone, if you don't mind." Anne held out their floral tribute, and Stan took it, saying a heartfelt "Thank you all so very much."

Without waiting for further acknowledgement Stan approached the gravestone that told the world that Caron, his beloved, was here. He fell to his knees, brushing away some dead grass and debris, laying the flowers against the cold grey stone.

He shut his eyes. Just thinking of her name was enough to make the tears begin to flow again.

As that November day grew murkier, Stan knelt by the grave, crying. He was lost in time, reliving his time withher, from playing on the swings on the way back from the pub when they were weaving home one night, to her laughter as he tried to untangle a bunch of wires from their old stereo and tripped over, sending things flying. She'd turned his swift anger into a grin and finally into laughter of his own. He remembered good times, and bad times; he recalled words better left unsaid and words of love that he wished he'd said more often.

But finally he was able to say not farewell but adieu, and stand again. His tears were on his cheeks but Stan felt better able to face up to the next day, and the next. He went to the others gathered a few respectful feet away, and told them,

"Thanks, everyone, it's time to go, now."

Bob shook his hand. Elizabeth wiped his face and pecked him on the cheek. Denise kissed him, then turned away, but not before Stan saw the tears in her own eyes. Finally Anne took his hand and drew him back down the hill to her waiting car.

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The next morning found Anne deep in thought, having a conversation with herself.

She was lying in Stan's recliner. It was only half past six in the morning, but Anne had woken early. Stan was still fast asleep upstairs.

'I'll have to take my courage in both hands anddo itif I think that Stan is worth that much to me. Stan isitfor me! I'm sure of his feelings for Denise. I haven't flat-outaskedhim, not yet. But I'm sure.'

'When we were dancing the other week I saw the way they looked at each other and I recognisedhislook, and I'm positive that the wayshelooked at him was the wayIlook at him. She loves him and he loves her, but neither will say anything because ofme. If I'm certain of anything, it's that doingnothingwill hurt us all in the end, so Iamgoing to act.'

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