Esther and Me Ch. 01

I was sipping on a Miller Lite, watching my wife line dance with a group when the elderly woman in a wheelchair next to me dropped her beer.

"Shit, can you pick that up for me?" she asked.

"No problem," I said picking it up and wiping off the top of the bottle.

"Don't worry, the alcohol will kill any germs that are on it," she said with a smile taking a big drink. "And if not, I'm eighty-seven years old and I sure as hell don't expect to live forever."

"Well, since most of it spilled why don't I get you a fresh one?" I said standing up.

"Just make sure it's not a light beer. I don't want to drink any watered down bunny piss unless I have to." I laughed and headed over to the bar.

"Here you go, an ice cold Bud," I sat back down took her empty and handed her the full bottle and glass.

"Don't need no damn glass. Only pussies and gays drink beer out of a glass," she said clinking our bottles together. After a long drink she let out a gasp. "That hit the spot. My name is Esther. Esther Thurman and yours is?"

"Steve Moore. My wife Sarah and I just moved in here a couple of months ago."

"And where is your wife tonight?"

"She's the forth one from the left in the yellow sun dress out there dancing," I said pointing to her group.

"Nice looking wife you got there. Been married long?"

"Thirty-eight years this September."

"How come you're not out there dancing with her?"

"I'm not much of a dancer except when it comes to slow songs."

"My husband Carl, rest his soul, couldn't dance a lick but he did try. Hell, I thought he broke one of my toes on more than one occasion. Thankfully, his hip started bothering him or I'd been a cripple a hell of a lot sooner," she said taking another long draw off her beer.

"You better go easy on that stuff or you'll never make it back home."

"Got that taken care of. You see that black woman over there," she said pointing to a group of women talking. "That's my nurse. She wheels me up here every night, parks me close to the music and goes visiting. Every once in a while she comes back to see if I need anything and visits until the music stops. Then it's back to my place and to bed shortly thereafter. So, if I get hammered and pee on myself she just hoses me off and puts me to bed. Not the greatest life in the world, but at least I'm still upright."

"Well, here's to being upright." I grinned touching bottles again.

"You fool around?" was the question that came out of nowhere sending beer out my nose while I coughed trying to suck in air.

"For Christ's sakes, don't fucking die on me," Esther said watching me recover. I blew my nose into my handkerchief and tried to compose myself.

"What kind of question is that? And no, I don't want to fool around with you, Esther."

"You should be so lucky. In my day you'd been begging me to stop after the first hour and I'd just be hitting full stride, but that was a long time ago. I haven't fooled around since my Carl died, but I still have a vibrator in my nightstand. Well, it was there the last time I looked anyway."

"Well, then why did you ask if I fooled around?"

"Steve, how old are you? Fifty-two, fifty-five?"

"Thanks for the compliment, but I just turned fifty-eight and my wife is fifty-six."

"Well, a lot of the people here are from the generation that were tried and true to their spouses their entire lives. Raised their kids, worked their whole life, and were bored to death with each other by the time they retired. Since they missed the sexual revolution and are no longer afraid of getting knocked up they figured it is now their time to let their hair down and taste some of the forbidden fruit."

"You don't mean swinging do you? Here? Christ's Esther, no pun intended, this place looks like the geriatric ward at the hospital," I whispered this, but was shocked by her statement.

"Well, there may be snow on the mountain but there is a raging fire down below," she answered me, finishing off her beer and motioning to her nurse to get another.

"How many beers do you go through a night?"

"I usually stop at three, but tonight since you bought me one, I'm going to go for four. My record is six, but that was last New Year's Eve, and I passed out somewhere around ten fifteen. The bitch never woke me up. I missed the fireworks. Last time I do that."

The music stopped five minutes later and Sarah came over to where I was sitting.

"Esther, this is my wife Sarah, Sarah this is my new good friend, Esther."

"Nice to meet you, Esther," my wife said stretching out her hand to Esther.

"You're nice looking, you're sure she's only fifty-six? Damn, you don't look a day older than forty-five." My eyes rolled back and my wife blushed.

"Well, Esther, we'll be leaving. I hope to see you around," I said reaching for my wife's hand.

"I'm up here every night so unless that fat nurse of mine smothers me with a pillow, I'll see you again."

"Where did you find her?" my wife asked quietly as we walked away.

"She was there when I went to sit down. I only hope I'm as spry as her when I'm eighty-seven."

So began my relationship with Esther. She was all of eighty-seven, silver white thinning hair she wore on the top of her head, and although she couldn't be any more than five foot two she probably tipped the scales at one hundred and fifty pounds. She'd moved to Temple Gardens with her husband when he sold his business up in New Jersey. They were in on the ground floor and were grandfathered into most things that others ended up paying for years later. As she explained, their first place was not much more than a manufactured double wide, but years later they moved up to, as she put it, a real house. She watched the community go from two hundred homes to over twenty thousand. She knew more of what went on than the community newspaper I found out sooner than I liked. Her aim in life was to enjoy life to the fullest every day and to make it to ninety, every year after that was just gravy she would tell me.

I saw her most nights we went to the town square. I made it a point to buy her a beer on every occasion. We would talk about life, dreams, and most of all gossip about what was going on in the community. How she found out the dirt about everyone I haven't a clue. Even though I thought, at times, she was full of shit, I ate crow on more than one occasion.

"Ma'am, is this seat taken?" I inquired holding two beers walking up to Esther's wheelchair.

"Don't give me that ma'am shit and sit your ass down. What do I look like, some damn southern bell?" I smiled, she smiled, and grabbed one of the beers. "Your wife with you tonight?"

"Of course. She's over there with that group in the western garb." I said pointing to Sarah and about nine other people.

"You may want to keep a close eye on your wife when she's with some of the people in that group. I'm not saying anything is going on mind you, it's just that some of the guys there have a reputation with the ladies "

"Esther, they've got to be in their early seventies. I think I could kick all their asses at once," I said puffing out my chest.

"All right smarty pants, just don't come crying to me if something happens."

"Nothing is going to happen, believe me." I looked at her and she was about ready to burst. "Ok, what do you have?"

Her eyes got real big and a huge smile came across her face.

"Better go get us a refill because this is a two beer story." I went over to the bar, got a Corona for me and a Bud for her.

"All right, now what's the skinny on that group?" She looked around and leaned in close.

"They're all swingers in that group." I gave her a look.

"You've got to be shitting me? Some of those guys look too old to even get it up," I snickered.

"Steve, looks can be deceiving. Ever since that little blue pill came out a lot has happened around here. It used to be that the streets would roll up at nine o'clock and everyone went home to bed. These days they go home to bed, but usually with someone else's wife." I glanced over at the group that was now doing some line dance thing.

"How in the hell do you know that?"

"You see that tall thin guy with the black hair? Well, he gets a dye job every three weeks; he's a retired banker from somewhere up north and lost his wife shortly after moving here. He's got a good pension, a nice car, and wines and dines the ladies." I stared at him for a moment.

"He's nothing great. He still has all his hair, but he's sure as hell no Don Juan."

"Steve, in this community there are two to three single women for every guy. These widows would cut each other's throats to land that guy. He's good looking, has money, and can still put the meat to them. What more can a woman ask for?"

I started to interrupt to tell her she had to be wrong when she stopped me.

"See that bald guy with the earring? He's in the gym four hours a day. He's probably in the best shape of his life and half the women here, married or not, would strap him on in a heartbeat. And I hear he's hung like a horse." She giggled like a girl and finished her first beer adding, "He's married, but it's rumored that his wife swings both ways, if you know what I mean." This was getting to be too much.

"I'm going to have to cut you off girl, the beer is pickling your brain."

"Steve, I can name probably half of the residents here and tell you where they live. I may be old and can't see like I use to, but I've got two good ears and they hear a lot when people think no one is listening."

"It's just that I just can't imagine this place being an old folks Sodom and Gomorra." She laughed at that.

"Steve, we may be old, but we're not dead yet. Most of the people have nothing but free time on their hands and they are looking at something new and exciting to fill those hours. It's not like any of them are going to get pregnant."

I sat up and started looking at all the groups of people. There were some in their fifties but most were a lot older outside of the tourists that were there. There is no way I thought to myself, but Esther hadn't been wrong about anything yet.

"Okay, say I believe you. You think they'd hit on my wife with me sitting right here?"

"Duh! You still work don't you? A little tennis match in the morning, a trip to the pool to cool off, and maybe a cool drink or two, and they'll be on her like stink on shit. She's fresh meat. Hell, most of the women here have been passed around so much the excitement of nailing them has worn off. But every new couple that moves in is a challenge. What else do horny men here have to think about?"

Did I believe her? Not really but I decided to keep my eyes open more so than I had before. If they were looking at moving in on my wife, I'd put a stop to it before they could even get started. Why didn't we stay in our own damn house?

We still hung out with her friends and about four other couples we'd been introduced to. It was about four months later that I noticed that Judy and Connie started acting funny around me. They were Sarah's friends, but they never once looked me in the eye unless they had to.

"Hon, did I do something to piss off Judy and Connie? They seem to be avoiding me when we're all together."

"Did you say something to their husbands?"

"We talk mostly about shit like sports and politics, and I don't even mention our wives."

"Well, you're probably imagining the whole thing. Just don't worry about it and maybe I'll mention something to them."

Two weeks later we were all up at the town square. I danced a few slow ones with Sarah before turning her loose with our group. Grabbing two brews I went looking for Esther.

"How come you've been standing me up? You find some other old broad to take my place?" she asked smiling at me and reaching for the beer.

I sat down in the chair next to her and replied, "Esther, you know you're irreplaceable."

"If I was only a few years younger, I'd show you what a little sweet talk would get you. I see you haven't heeded my warning," she said pointing her beer at our group.

"Esther, that's not the line dancing group, those are our old friends from where we use to live."

"I don't give a shit who they are, they're in the same group. They moved here about a year and a half ago and have been trading wives for the last nine months."

"I think you're wrong on this one, girl."

"You wouldn't like to make a little wager would you? You know, a little side bet if you're so sure."

"I don't want to take your money. Hell, with the way you drink you'll need all you've saved up," I said laughing.

"Go ahead and laugh you dumb shit. All I'm saying is that your friends are swingers."

"Okay, how are we going to prove which one of us is right?"

"First, we've got to set the bet, don't we? How about one beer a night? You buy me one beer a night whenever you see me up here."

"Esther, I do that now."

"I know, but I let you. This way you'll owe me and I won't feel so bad."

"You feel bad about accepting beers from me?"

"Hell no, I just said that to make you feel bad about trying to take advantage of an old lady." She laughed downing the last of her Bud.

"Well, I'll agree with your terms, but we still need to figure out a way to prove or disprove what you said."

"Steve, have I been wrong yet? Why can't we just say I'm right and you can go over and get us a couple more beers?"

"How about if we say I'm right since I've known them a lot longer and have been going out with them for the last couple of years?" I suggested. "We've even been to parties they've thrown and no one has approached me."

"How about your wife? You say she's known them forever, why would they approach you when they can talk to her? Maybe they don't even want you to know what they're doing, did you ever think about that?" I started to think back to how and why we'd moved here.

"I just can't imagine my wife acting in that way."

"Whose idea was it to move here? And didn't you say that those couples moved here first and talked your wife into following them?" I didn't like where this conversation was headed.

"Esther, are you saying my wife lied to get me to move here?"

"Steve, I'm saying nothing of the kind. All I'm saying is that she wanted to stay close to her good friend. Maybe she didn't know they'd found a new life style, but she has to know by now."

"Esther, my wife is not a swinger. We have a great sex life and she doesn't have to go outside our marriage for satisfaction."

"Steve, it's not for satisfaction, or not all of it, it's the thrill of doing something you're not suppose to do and not getting caught. Many a wife here has caught her husband dipping his wick into something strange. Most forgive them because what are their alternatives? Most husbands made all the money and even if they got a fifty-fifty split, they can't live in the same life style they currently are. Their friends are all here; they've built a new life here. Why would they want to risk losing all that for a roll in the hay? So, they turn a blind eye or join him. Very few break up, I'm sorry to say. The only ones I've seen were when the wife cheated on her husband. Men are a lot less forgiving and why not. They dump the cheating whore and after that they have their pick of all the single women here."

"Esther, they might be swingers but not my wife. I've known her most of my life and she'd never do that to me in a million years."

"I only hope you're right," she said finishing her bud. "You're too nice a guy to get fucked over, but I've seen tons of them done the same way."

"I need a beer, you want one?"

"Do you really need to ask that question?" she replied handing me her empty. I glanced over to the group laughing, dancing, and carrying on. She had to be wrong.

I grabbed two beers, gave the bartender a few bucks, and headed back to where Esther was sitting. I could see that she was watching my wife's group while talking to the women on the other side of her. It looked like all the elderly women, watched, waited, and kept their ears open. It looks like I'd have to do the same.

"Music is about over. I hope I didn't upset you too much," she said gulping down her first mouthful. "This is one bet I don't want to win, and I hope I'm wrong but I never am. I'll bet dollars to donuts she asks you if you want to go back to one of their houses tonight. I've seen them whispering for the last five minutes, and by the way they have been looking at their watches. It looks like they're planning something for later on. Maybe she's going to bring it up to you tonight to get your reaction."

"The way I'm feeling right now I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Steve, don't go off half cocked, because like I said I could be wrong. And for Christ's sakes, don't go losing your cool and do something stupid and get yourself thrown in jail. I like having you around and besides, if I'm right, I've got plans for you."

"Honey, you about ready?" Sarah said walking over to where we were sitting. "How are you doing tonight, Esther? You keeping my husband out of trouble for me?"

"Sweetheart, I think he's keeping me on the straight and narrow I'm sorry to say."

"Steve, the group is moving the party to Connie and Mike's house and they've asked if we want to come along. Do you want to go, it could be fun?"

"Do you want to go?" I asked glancing over at Esther.

"Steve, let's go. It's still early and you don't have to get up for work tomorrow."

"Sure Hon, if that's what you want then we'll go. Esther, I'll see you tomorrow, I hope," I told her starting to walk away.

"Steve, remember what I told you," she yelled back at me as before I was out of earshot.

We walked back to our house to get our golf cart because their house was about a mile away. Sarah was talkative while I sat there quietly and just drove. Connie and Mike's house was a step down from what we had bought. They had, however, closed in their patio and put in a hot tub. Judy and Bill's house was only two blocks away and it was almost the mirror image of Connie's except that they had a small pool put in. There were five other couples there by the time we arrived. Everyone had a drink in their hand and were just talking amongst themselves. Maybe Esther was wrong.

My wife went off somewhere. Mike got me a beer and started bending my ear about how screwed up some of the new restrictions were, and that a group was getting a petition together to fight them.

"I agree there are some things that need to be regulated to keep up the property values, but I think the builder has gone off the deep end on a few of them," I spouted off looking around the party for my wife.

"Steve, I couldn't agree with you more," he said lighting up a cigarette.

It was just your average party until the music started and people started dancing. Like I said, I'm no dancer and was just sitting back sipping on a beer when it finally hit me; no one was dancing with their own wife. I immediately scanned the group for Sarah. I saw that she was dancing with one of the other wife's husband; I think his name was Carl. It looked innocent but I was wondering for how long. Bill came over and handed me a fresh beer.

"Got everything you need, Steve?" he asked. I couldn't take my eyes off Sarah and Carl. When Bill said something about how hot my wife looked tonight I put an end to any plans anyone might have had for us.

"Well, Bill, it's time for Sarah and me to be leaving," I said loud enough for not just him to hear but anyone else who was in earshot. "I've got to get my bride home before she has too much to drink and does something stupid," I said watching Carl's hands start to wander. "Maybe we'll get together at our house next time." I handed him my full beer and walked over to grab my wife.

"Come on, Sarah, we're leaving," I said taking her gently by the arm leading her out.