Exit Only? Taking a Drive Down...

Exit Only? Taking a Drive Down the Hershey Highway

A Beginner's Guide To Anal Sex

Is your partner an 'ass man?' In my research I've found that males are either ass men or breast men, with leg men ranking a distant third.

I've also found that even an ass man can be repulsed by the idea of anal sex. Of all the third-grade humour names for anal intercourse, 'going down the Hershey Highway' has made the biggest impression on me. Haven't eaten a Hershey bar since 1987.

When you are raised in New Orleans, most heterosexual teen girls hang out in both straight and gay bars. In the latter we meet some of our best lifelong friends, gay men. We also confused lesbian tourists, but we really didn't mean to do that, by the way.

So one would think gay men would be the best source of information about anal intercourse, right? Not necessarily. One of my first questions was 'Do you have a cleansing ritual before having sex?' It seemed like a reasonable idea, safe sex and all. However, this was right before everyone knew at least one person who had died of AIDS.

I finally got the scoop, so to speak, while discussing fantasies with a Greek male heterosexual friend. I told him that the seemingly favourite fasntasy of most of my ex-boyfriends and a lot of males in general is the threesome. Preferrably two women and a male. He uttered a few words in Greek and angrily stated that, for a reason I didn't catch, this, among other reasons, is why outsiders think Americans are stupid. It seems European men think it is better to concentrate on one woman and do a lot of things most Americans would consider too kinky.

Finally I got my answer on how to make anal intercourse clean as well as enjoyable. The first step, and this is done as a couple so that both are involved and responsible, is to have a relaxing enema. I don't know about you, but I've never had a pleasant enema. Also, I don't think sharing an enema would be a big turn-on. To even try this, I would have to be married for at least twenty years. I mean I still don't urinate if my partner is in the bathroom. And I've known him for fourteen years.

So, supposedly now, after a 'relaxing' enema, you are at least very clean and don't have to worry about such a mess; you can still have nice bedding with 300-count Egyptian cotton.

Next, the male puts on a condom with A LOT of lubrication and gently, that's GENTLY, begin to introduce your penis to her anus. If she is just too tight, either from nervousness or just physiologically, you can lubricate your fingers and play around there, gently opening her up first with one finger, then two. Then try again.

The importance of slowly and gently cannot be overemphasized. The women who try it and say Never Again almost always had a long or thick or both penis rammed up there and was sore for two to three days afterward.

I don't know in how many states this position, this act is still illegal. I'm fairly certain in Alabama and Georgia, if caught, something terrible would be done to you, like forcing you to memorize the whole Bible. And to never step foot in their state again.

Personally, I find this to be an act that is consumated within the bounds of a long time monogamous relationship (but still use the condom). That way you can switch to vaginal intercourse without having to get up and wash.

A friend of mine, let's call her Sue, had been nagging her husband on and off for a few years to try anal. He was adamantly opposed. So she had a 'rehearsal' where she got on the bed, knelt and practiced holding her cheeks open while saying something seductive. It took a lot of tries to do this without falling face down onto the bed.

To make a long story short, it worked and now they use this position about forty to fifty per cent of the time.

Realize that one or both of you will need to be the clitoris flicker if the woman is to orgasm.

An interesting article written by a British author, where 'sodomy' is illegal, even between man and wife IS legal between two consensual males over the age of twenty-one in private.

Another interesting tidbit is that sodomy in Britain was punishable by death, life imprisonment or hard labour in the 'old days,' whenever that was. The degree of punishment depended upon who you were with and where you were, although there was a quaint clause about sodomy being all right after ninety days at sea!

The next article will focus on males in a male-female relationship and how the female can role play as the male with the proper toys. Until then, just think about it. And I'd love to hear your comments.