Expanding Your Horizons

You, the top in your relationship have decided to add more people to your mix. It can be the best of worlds, it can be the worst of worlds. Whether you told your partner/slave that you were adding on. Or you finally convinced them to do it. You have laid the groundwork for a new life.

There is a lot of effort that goes into being a couple, even more is required in a poly or group marriage. No that's not a typo even though multiple marriages are banned by law, adding another permanently into your house means that for all intents and purposes you are marrying them.

If you've ever read Robert Heinlein, you will know that he advocates group marriages and a lot of other worldly attitudes. But the basic tenant in all of them is love. The basic premise that makes someone else's happiness essential to your own.

There in lies the story. Now that you've decided to add someone, you have to find someone who is compatible with not only you but your current partner/slave. For you Masters out there don't assume that just because you say that two women are chain sisters, it doesn't follow that they will be nice to each other. Jealousy over a trait, a skill, body type. All of these can lead to a downfall.

What prompted you to look for another? Are you doing it because they asked you to? Are you fulfilling a fantasy of theirs? Are you fulfilling a fantasy of yours? Are you looking for an ego boost? Or are you looking for a cheaper way to afford child care?

If he/she did ask you to add some spice to your sex life, is this what they had in mind. Swapping is much easier as both of you have someone to play with. Adding someone means that at some point the gender that has just doubled will be sitting around watching TV while the other two have fun. Are they asking because it's a fantasy of yours? Careful there because that opens the gait for them to be a martyr later. If this is something that you are completely doing for your partner and you have serious reservations about it you need to talk with your partner. Honesty is one of the major keys in any relationship. If this is a fantasy of yours, can your partner live with it? Are they truly okay with the idea? If your not sure find out or this will bite you later. If you are just looking for an ego boost go buy a Porsche. Your partner will hate you and the one you bring in will never truly feel loved and leave you as well. The Porsche will be much easier to maintain and give you much more enjoyment.

Will there be things that you as a couple will not want each other to do with your new friend?

The best thing I can say here is communication is the key, Talk about everything from how the new one will address each of you, sir, mistress, master, etc. It will also be worthwhile to download one of those BDSM questioners. www.bdsm-education.com/checklist.html has a good one. You can check it off as you go and discuss each activity and whether or not it's proscribed.

At some point you will each want private time with your new toy. Don't worry if you spend an evening on the couch watching TV, your turn will come. If your jealous get over it. Your partner agreed to this and will be thinking the same thing when your alone with your new toy. It may also come to pass that during one of these interludes you or your partner may cross the line and enjoy one of those activities on the proscribed list. It can happen in the heat of the moment. Don't lie about it or try to hide it. Be up front with your partner and take your lumps.

Ok now for all of you Doms this will be old hat. For you vanilla guys pay attention. Before a Dom takes on a new sub he requires a medical history from her. He knows what diseases she's had what breaks and dents, and when her next genealogical exam is. I would recommend to every one that you get a copy of these records and submit them to your doctor for the new addition in your family. Also STD's I personally know of one happy triad that was broken up by the introduction of an infected slave. Take precautions, the AMA has decried that six months covers the incubation time for HIV/AIDS. So if your new addition has had sexual contact with anyone in the last 6 months play it safe.

Have you all talked about children? This something to be talked over as a group because it will effect everyone. Do any of you have children? They will change the dynamics of the situation and how you treat them will reflect how they grow up and function as adults. Don't want children? Even if you take precautions, accidents may happen. If you've worked out a plan with your group before someone gets pregnant it will make your life a lot easier.

Try to consider every aspect of what goes into making this work. Because you will all have to work at it. There is no magical bullet to fix every day to day problem, You will each have to work at keeping each other motivated and happy in your 'Marriage'.

Good luck!