Exploring My Bisexuality Ch. 03byHaley__F©
That weekend with Karen had really opened my eyes, it was such an amazing experience, although I wasn't entirely convinced i was 100% official lesbian and even now I wonder how you work out what your sexuality is. Maybe it's worked out by the percentage of people you have sex with or who you want to have sex with. I think I must be one of those very naive people because after my first submission to Literotica I got an email from a lady thanking me for a good account of my experience and welcoming me to the world of Sapphic love. I was very thankful to receive email from someone who had enjoyed reading about me, but I do confess that I had no clue was Sapphic meant!
I had to look it up in the dictionary! No joke. Cambridge Online Dictionary says: Sapphic - women who are sexually attracted to other women... Okay, I can live with that definition for the time being, I was attracted to Karen and can see how beautiful women are, but sometimes I over analyse things and wonder if I was really attracted to Karen or was it just lust and feeling turned on at a specific moment. It drives me nuts sometimes thinking about stuff like that. Before I never thought "yeah, my sisters best mate is well sexy, I'd like to see her naked or have lesbo sex with her!" it wasn't in my head at all.
Since Karen, I've been in some strange situations, some were very erotic and sexy others were scary and not at all fun and some just bonkers - I'll tell you about them in a moment. Should I believe that if it wasn't for being attracted to Karen these things never would have happened? need a time machine really. I'm not nuts or anything but when I'm in my bed at night I like to get my thoughts down in my diary so they're not swirling around in my head keeping me awake. This is why when copying stuff from my diary onto the computer it sometimes looks like a mass of jumbled thoughts and stuff but I have tried to make it read like there's some sense to it.
Anyway, I won't type on and on about nothing for ages. I want to get on with it and you want to know what happened after that weekend with Karen. I'll tell you one thing before we start, I couldn't make any of this up if I tried, I had no idea anything like this could happen, especially to me!
3 days now since Karen and I were together. haven't seen her. still can't believe we did it with each other! my sisters best friend, a girl! it was amazing and I'm still thinking about it constantly. it wasn't like the first time in Janine's bedroom, that was a bit strange and I was very unsure of myself then, but that night when Karen came round was pure ecstasy. I get nervous just thinking about, did we really do it? what we do now I got no idea. will she want to see me again? will she want to do it again with me? god, I don't know if I could, that sounds so silly, we've already done it, been there done that. but the idea of taking off my clothes in front of another girl in a sexual way makes my stomach feel weird, even though I already have with Karen. I must be nuts. when is she going to call me?
Karen came round today, she spent the morning with my sister lounging in front of the TV, she said "hi" to me and nothing more. why is she acting like I don't exist? is she ashamed of what we did together? has she told my sister all about it? the do seem to be laughing a lot and Karen looks over at me when they laugh. I couldn't take it any longer and moved my college work up to my bedroom, couldn't concentrate so am writing in my diary now. perhaps Karen doesn't want to see me again, or thinks I'm just some kid she had fun with one time, Jesus she is only a bit older than me! where does she get off acting like that, after all we're adults now not children. feel sick now.
I'm so stupid. got a text from Karen. PLS CALL ME luv K. She sent it after she left for her Sunday roast at home. I had to wait ages to call her, had to sit and eat Sunday lunch with mum and dad and Janine and couldn't think about anything but Karen. Anyway, we just had a chat on the phone, it was weird as hell. basically I had to pretend I was calling Angela about some college project we were doing together. Had to watch what I was saying because my dad was watching the football, mum was in and out all the time doing the back garden and Janine was loafing about listening to her headphones.
I was shaking when I dialled Karen's number. I prayed no one else but her would pick it up otherwise I'd have to hang up and pretend I'd dialled her number by mistake. lucky, Karen picked it up and said hello. seems she was lucky that everyone else in her house had gone food shopping so she was alone. "how are you doing?" she asked me.
"okay, bit bored, always board on Sundays."
"know what u mean, nothing to do."
"tell me about it"
We chatted about nothing for a minutes until I realised I was supposed to be talking to Angela about our project.
"So how much of our project have you done?" I asked in the hope Karen would realise what I was doing?
"I've done a few bits, introduction mainly." Please get with it Karen, please.
"What are you talking about?"
"Yeah, college projects are like that," I said, watching to see if anyone was looking at me. "Get with it Angela."
"Angela? What the...? Oh hang on, you got people listing in on you, right?" "Yeah, that's it."
"Oh this is gonna be fun," said Karen laughing. "I thought you were going mad. So I'm supposed to be your mate Angela am I?"
"She good lookin?"
"Not sexy like me then?"
"No, not se...piously," I said biting my tongue.
"That was a close one," Karen said laughing. "Sorry I couldn't say anything to you earlier when I was round, I don't want anyone to know about us."
"I don't either," I said, relieved that she did WANT to say something but couldn't. "It wouldn't work out very well."
"I wasn't ignoring you. I wanted to call you before but there's always something stopping me, parents, walk dog, go shopping, go to work, argh!"
"Exactly the same here," I replied, wishing I could say what I wanted, wishing no one else was here to hear me.
"And now I am free and you're not," Karen said with a sigh. "This sucks you know."
"Yeah," I said with feeling. "Big time."
"I could wind you up though, that could be fun."
"I can tell you how I'm unzipping my top" Karen said. I could hear the zipper over the phone. "I can tell you that I'm putting my hand inside my vest, I'm not wearing a bra today so I got smooth skin all the way."
"So nothing under then?" I asked hoping that wouldn't sound strange and totally college related.
"Nothing at all under, if you got what I mean," said Karen. "In fact I can pull my vest right up so my chest is open to the air. My nipples are all hard too. quite sensitive today. am giving them a nice gentle squeeze, hmm nice. I wonder what else I can do, what do you think?"
"I...well I wouldn't know about that," I said, I couldn't believe this, here I was getting turned on and there were people everywhere.
"I've got my full length skirt on today," Karen told me.
"Oh, the denim one?" I asked. That was innocent enough.
"Yep. Shall I pull it up to my waist?"
"That's a good idea," I said. I was getting good at this fake talk. I was also getting very aroused.
There was a muffled sound and then a bang. I heard Karen swear. "Sorry," she said a moment later. "Was pulling my skirt up and dropped the phone!"
"So you're done now then?" I asked. Getting adventurous with the erotic/college project translation I pushed it further. "Should be good viewing."
"I think so," Karen almost purred. "I'm almost totally naked in the living room now."
"Almost?" I said. "Almost is never good enough."
"That's right sweety," said my dad still glued to the TV.
At least now I knew someone was vaguely tuned into my conversation.
"A dare?" Karen said with a small chuckle. "I accept. One sec..." the phone went muffled again. "...half way there now, vest is history. Now I'm sat here in the armchair facing the window, topless."
"Going below the belt is a challenge," I said and clenched, so sure that sounded wrong. No reaction from dad.
"If you insist," replied Karen. More muffled noises as the phone slipped down by her hair. "Ta-da, all gone. I'm naked. Nude. Bare assed for all to see." "Anyone?"
"If they're out for a Sunday dog walk and look in they'll see me, naked, staring right back at them."
"Wow," I said.
"Bet you wish you were alone now!"
"Very true," I said. I could feel myself getting wet. "It's a site I'd like to see."
"I'm very wet, Haley," Karen said. "I'm sliding a finger over my fanny now, its so wet..."
I could hear her moan a little and pretended my jeans were annoying me. I adjusted them and felt the stiff material rub against my fanny. it was so bad. I was tempted to hang up and dash to my bedroom and get some relief but I'd look so weird doing that. All I could was sit and squirm bit by bit as Karen told me what she was doing to herself over the phone. After a few agonizing minutes I heard Karen swear.
"What?" I asked as calm as possible.
"My parents are back, shit! Got to go. Bye."
The phone went dead. I was silent for a moment. Horrible vision of Karen's parents pulling up on the driveway and catching a glimpse of their daughters naked body dashing upstairs to get dressed. I almost hung up and realised I would have to finished the conversation normally. That was so bad, I just wanted out of there as quickly as possible. I managed it and got up to my room, just about to slip my hand inside my jeans when my mum came in and handed me a list of things she needed from Tesco down the road, milk, cereal blah blah.
I grabbed my phone and coat and headed down the road. It was getting darker, I hate winter, no snow these days just bits of rain, loads of wind and drab grew skies. so dull. half way to Tesco I sent Karen a text. U ESCAPE OK?ANY1 C U?GOIN2TESCO NOW.SPK2U SOON. x I hoped she was okay, and not having to explain what she was doing lounging around naked in the house.
She must have been fine. Got a text back a moment later. ALL GUD.NO1 SAW ME.MEET ME BY BOTTLE RECYC 5MINS. K. I read the text several times as I walked to Tesco. She meant the bottle bank recycling centre behind Tesco car park. What was she up to now? I thought she didn't want to get caught with us seen together. Should I meet her? I was tempted to say I couldn't, that I had better get my mums shopping and head home as soon as possible.
I knew Karen lived about the same distance from Tesco as we did. my hear was banging in my chest when I crossed the car park. It was 5.20pm, Tesco was closing at 6 and there were still people coming and going. It was far from deserted and empty. I couldn't return home without the shopping so I dashed inside, grabbed milk, bread, cheese, washing up liquid, mushrooms and bacon, sped through the checkout and back outside in 3 minutes.
I past the bus shelter, trolley park and headed round the back of the store, no less deserted here either, since the exit for the car park was right next to the recycling centre. I pushed past a bunch of kids on bikes and slowly strolled across the tarmac. Where was Karen? she did say 5mins didn't she? I checked my phone again. Yep, 5mins. I hung about for a second then walked all the way across to the other side, passed the huge bottle bins where fencing separated the car park from back gardens of the local housing estate.
I sighed and was about to text Karen when I heard her voice. I looked about but couldn't see her in the failing light. It was almost dark now. Car headlights shone back and forth across the car park as they came and went. I looked around me, and it wasn't until a car headed for the exit that I saw Karen. She was concealed in the entrance of an alley way that lead from the car park to the neighbouring street. She waved at me to come over. I glanced about and headed back across the tarmac toward her. I stopped for 3 cars to dash past before crossing the exit and standing in front of the alley entrance.
"Don't just stand there!" Karen snapped.
Her hands shot and jerked me into the dark dingy alley way. I wasn't prepared and bumped into her, pushing her against the fence. We stared into each others eyes for a moment. I dropped my shopping bag and she pulled me close to her, arms wrapping round me, her lips seeking out mine, my hands holding onto her as we kissed, her hot lips clashed against mine, stark contrast to her cold cheeks. Her tongue darted between my lips and we kissed passionately. I could feel my fanny moisten and I felt how unfair the situation was, I wanted Karen so badly and I sensed/knew she wanted me too, but we couldn't. Not there in the alley way with cars driving past lighting up the place.
I felt Karen's hand move, her fingers fumbled with the zipper on my jacket, she pulled it down and pushed her hand under my t-shirt, her icy cold fingers making me flinch for a second as she dislodged my bra. She shoving it up toward my neck so she could tease my already very stiff and aching nipples. I moaned into her mouth as she gently toyed with my nipples. I wanted to be somewhere, anywhere else right then, it was so unfair. while a huge part of me was so aroused I was scared to death we would be seen any second!
We parted briefly, Karen smiling at me, she undid the top buttons on her denim skirt and pulled it down a little way, there was just enough light for me to see she wasn't wearing underwear. her skin seemed to glow white in the dark. she smoothed her hand over her pubes and winked at me.
"Karen...what are you...?"
"No time," Karen said urgently. "Quick, undo your jeans."
I stared down dumbly, was she serious? We were going to... right there in the alley way next to Tesco? Oh no way! I started to shake my head but her cold hands were already fumbling with my jeans, she popped open the button and slid the zipper down. My skin was cold with the wind blowing in the alley and I was really thinking this was a bad idea.
"Karen we can't...we shouldn't do this...what if someone sees us?"
"No one cares," she replied kissing me again quickly. "Even if they do they'll only see your back, with that big coat they'll just assume it's a guy and his girlfriend having a quick snog."
"But..." I glanced across the car park.
"What?" said Karen following my gaze.
Only a hundred yards or so a mother and kids were packing food in their car. I could see the trolley collector guy pushing a snake of trolley's back to the store. she was right, no was taking any notice.
"People can see..." I said feebly. I shrugged.
"Oh shut up!" she said with a laugh. "It's exciting! isn't it?"
"that much is true," I said. She caught my eye and leaned forward to kiss me again, fast and deep.
"Come on then!" she said.
I felt her hand push down past my undone jeans, into my knickers where her fingers found my clit instantly. I gasped as she gently stroked it. "Touch me too," she said before we kissed again.
I forgot the car park, fuck it, was what I actually thought. I reached out and cupped my hand against her fanny, feeling it hot and slippery against my fingers. I rubbed them up and down her lips before parting them and pushing two fingers slowly inside her. She groaned very loudly and forced herself down onto my fingers. She followed my actions, leaving my clit and roughly pushing two fingers into my fanny.
"Oh Karen...oh shit..." I whimpered. I couldn't believe what we were doing, I wasn't going to stop though!!
"Haley...finger me harder.. urgh yeah....make cum..."
"Oh god Karen...I want to climax...Karen...uh uh..."
I was so turned on. The dingy surroundings, the possibility of getting caught any moment, the fact that my chest was exposed and Karen and I were finger fucking each other right next to Tesco's...well it blew my mind! We fingered each other hard and fast until we climaxed, it was rough and quick, nothing like when we were last together, that was an exploration of each others bodies. This was pure wanton lust and I loved it.
As we clung to each other in a post orgasmic state we both smiled. In the streetlamp I could see a film of sweat on Karen's skin, she licked her lips and I kissed her again. She brought her fingers up to her face and licked my juices from them, I copied her, feeling another thrill rush through my body. I just could not believe I was out in a very public place licking Karen's juices from my fingers.
We redressed quickly, now it was over I realised how cold the wind was against my skin.
"You're crazy you know that!" I said to Karen.
"You didn't exactly complain!" she replied. "You're a horny slut, Haley," she added and kissed me.
"Am not!" I said a bit too prudish.
"You won't tell...anyone?" I asked her, then felt very silly.
"Never." Karen was very serious now. "This is between us. I'm not going to tell anyone."
"I was just worried, you know, about my sister, thought you might have said something to her."
"Not a word," Karen assured me. "Now, there's a birthday party a week this Friday, a friend of mine, Fran. She'll be 21 so her parents have agreed to let her have a big party while they're away. You want to come along?"
"Is Janine going?" I asked, suddenly intrigued. Did Karen want me to go as her...girlfriend?
"She'll be there," Karen said. She saw my look of doubt. "Don't worry I got a plan to get you there without making a big deal of it with Janine."
I wanted to go, but if we were to keep our secret what was the point? I so desperately wanted to see Karen more, and even though I totally enjoyed what we had just done with each other in the car park it wasn't really the idyllic setting I really wanted.
"Well okay," I said still unsure. "If you think it'll be okay."
Karen kissed me full on, he tongue sliding into my mouth. Quick and fast and I loved every second. She parted. "It'll be great, you'll have fun."
"We better get going before we're in trouble," she said stepping away from me. "I'll call u later if I can. Love ya."
She turned and jogged away down the alley. I felt a knot of despair in my stomach. I didn't want her to leave so soon, but then we had to keep this a secret. Neither of us wants the hassle of parents/friends etc giving us a hard time or otherwise if they found out we were screwing each other. I picked up my shopping bag and headed home, reliving our brief encounter made me smile and I started looking forward to this party.
Thursday Karen came round this evening. She spent most of the time in my sisters bedroom where they were trying on all sorts of clothes for the party tomorrow night. On her way upstairs Karen had chucked a ball of paper into my bedroom, luckily no one saw her do it. I pulled it open and this is what it said:
"Loved seeing you the other night. you make me so horny, can't wait till we're together again. party is tomorrow night. am telling Janine some of your friends are going so why don't we take you with us as well, actually I think some of your friends really are going, Fran's sister Lucy is your age, isn't she in your year at college? anyway, we'll have a laugh. see you soon sexy. K."
So she did have a plan after all. I think I remember Lucy from college, she hangs around with a group of Goth girls in the canteen, all black clothes and black make up, I think that's depressing. After a while I was writing in my diary on my bed when Janine stuck her head around my bedroom door.
"You coming to this party then?" she asked with a sneer on her face.
"Yeah," I said, quickly closing my diary. "Lucy's invited some of us over."
"Karen suggested you come with us, yeah well don't pull a face sweet heart," Janine said in a condescending way. "If we don't offer to take you mom and dad won't let you go. We're supposed to be the responsible ones who'll look after you all night, as if!"