tagHumor & SatireFairy Moans

Fairy Moans

bymmumbles©

Ever wonder why women smell so damned good? I saw this show on TV that explained it all. Seems they have this stuff in their pussies called fairy moans. Silly name, I know, but that's what it sounded like to me. It's a chemical of some sort that female mammals produce to attract males. Even though they stick tampons in them, cover them with absorbent pads, squirt stuff like vinegar in 'em, and spray them with deoderant, all to keep 'em from stinkin, they keep makin' these fairy moans. So they keep 'em covered up, most of the time. But sometimes they air 'em out. Then watch out!!

You take the other night. I was over at Earl's, drinkin' beer and watchin football when Thema Lou came in. She was wearin' a robe and slippers and her scent was sayin' fuck me. Now Earl didn' t seem to notice, but their dog Buck lifted up his head, looked at Earl, looked at her, then I swear, that old dog winked at me. Guess he knows a ripe pussy when he smells one. He laid back down though. Guess he figured it wasn' t for him.

Now I figured her pussy was tellin' Earl to get rid of me and come to bed. If so, old Earl wasn' t buyin' it. Tell the truth, Earl was pretty much out of it. He'd worked out in the sun all day and now, what with the beer and his recliner and the TV, he was passin' out.

She kicked off her slippers and stretched out on the sofa, feet towards me. Now me and Earl go back a long way, all the way to grade school and before that even, but pussy is powerful stuff and Thelma Lou's was right there breathin' away.

Earl started to snore. Thelma shifted and her robe rode up a little and parted some. She was lookin' at the TV but her fairy moans was sayin' , "C'mere, big boy."

I got up and went to the bathroom and took a leak. When I went back in, Earl was still sleepin', Thelma Lou was still starin' at the TV. I sat down on the sofa and took her feet on my lap. The robe parted. I put a hand on her knee. Her skin' felt so smooth. She smelled so good. I moved my hand. Her pussy peeked out at me. Not much hair, puffy lips.....it was so pretty!

She was lookin' at me know, smilin'. I touched it. She spread her legs. I spread her lips. The fairy moans was strong now. I played with it. I rubbed it. I stuck a finger in, then two. I glanced over at Earl. He was lookin' back.

Well that was the end of our friendship. Me and Earl duked it out some. Thema Lou ran to her bedroom. I left a little banged up.....he was too. They're still together. I still see her sometimes, when Earl's at work. We're careful.

I set out to learn more, in the name of science. My research was extensive. Let me give you a tip; make sure you know what you're smellin'. You take the other day. I was over at Bobby Sue's. I figured I had her scoped out. I was memorizin' her scent when I realized that what I was smellin' was some left over fish from dinner in her trash.....red snapper as I recall. Had to start all over.

The best way is to get a sample on your finger. That way you can take your time memorizin' it and you know where it came from. Course that's not always possible.

You have to learn to work with blends. Take the other night over at the VFW. I was sittin next to Mary Lou at the bar. Now I had a good finger sample from her, so I knew her scent. Then there was the other May Lou, behind the bar. She was wearin' panties, but she'd BEEN wearin' 'em for a few days, if you know what I mean, so some of her fairy moans was leakin' out. So I identified that. Sharon Sue down at the end of the bar was wearin' a lot of perfume, but underneath all that I could tell that her pussy was enjoyin' a night out.

Then there was a new smell. A new woman? Or had they started makin' the oyster stew? I looked around, and sure enough, there was this blonde sittin at a table right behind me. I sent her a drink then moved in to continue my research. Her name was Cherie, not a natural blonde as I discovered later. Got a good finger sample right there at the bar!

Well my research goes on. Like I said, it's for science.....sort of. I may write a book.

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